Re: Legalizing food and overeating (Long)

February 4, 2010

Wow, thank you Gillian for writing. I have so much to learn, but I am also hopeful...

Thanks again...

Diane

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: gillian@...Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2010 12:46:51 -0800Subject: Legalizing food and overeating (Long)

Hi Everyone,

It seems that this is one of the main issues coming up over the last few days, so I thought I would try to address it and see if I can be of help. I can tell you that this is a very normal concern, almost all my clients have it when they start out, and I certainly did as well. It seems so wrong to eat whatever we want because we've been subjected to rules that say we can't and if we do we are bad. And of course the food police are always telling us we have to eat "clean" or "healthy" because we'll have all kinds of diseases and all that stuff you hear all the time.

To clarify, IE does not say you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Many people take it that way and get very scared about gaining weight and losing control. Keep in mind, however, that IE also doesn't say you must ONLY eat when you are hungry and you must ALWAYS stop when satisfied. This is what I call the Intuitive Eating Diet. I say that sarcastically because there is no such thing. But when you put rules on it and use words like only or always, it's a diet. That is black and white thinking.

It is very important to work on making all foods permissible. At this stage, setting up restrictions, even those that are made in the name of healthy eating, is counter-productive. It is true that some people gain weight when they begin this process. My experience is that it's not a lot of weight, but I know even a little feels bad. I have heard the very rare stories of someone gaining a lot of weight during the giving permission stage, but I can tell you that there was something going on that wasn't in line with IE.

I just finished my latest class with Tribole an hour ago and she said something that may be helpful. And the fact that she is talking about this just shows even more how normal your concerns are, you aren't alone in this. She said that many people think that if they eat something they've had trouble with over and over again, the goal is to become tired of that food, maybe not even want it anymore. What the purpose really is of giving yourself permission to eat anything is to make all foods neutral. It doesn't mean you won't want those chocolate chip cookies anymore, it just means that they won't have the same pull on you, calling your name, creating obsessive thoughts and anxiety when they are around. Making the cookies neutral, you still really like them, but you don't worry about them going away forever or feel guilty for eating them. The technical term for this is "habituation" if anyone is interested in knowing that. I love this stuff!

Now, about nutrition and health. We all know that some foods have more nutrition than others. Some have more calories than others. Some promote better health than others. And IE is not saying you should ignore this. The problem is we've been bombarded with health and nutrition information. You know what is healthy and what isn't. You know what foods may lead to heart disease or Type II diabetes. We've known this for a long time. But has it changed anything? Unfortunately, for the majority of people, this info doesn't help change our behavior. If it did, diets would work. I'm sure you know people that have had a heart attack and go right back to eating the way they always did. It's no different than the smoker who is in the hospital for a heart attack and has to sneak out of the hospital room to smoke. He knows the smoking is bad and threatening his life but he doesn't stop.

Of course smoking is somewhat different than overeating because there is a very strong chemical addiction. But there is a lot of psychological stuff going on as well. And if you don't deal with that, nothing changes.

Excess weight is a symptom of whatever is going on that is causing you to turn to food. Overeating is actually a way of taking care of yourself that you have learned. It's a coping mechanism. The weight, the excess food, the food choices, all are symptoms. Diets treat the symptom. IE deals with the cause. Figure out and deal with the cause and the symptoms go away. Because of dieting, one cause is usually deprivation and restriction. Giving yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods reverses deprivation. You must deal with the cause, not the symptoms.

It's a process and it's not easy, I know, having dealt with this since the age of 8. It took me time, but I made it through. And it's not just me, it's my clients as well. They find a way to the other side where they have a peaceful relationship with food. And you all should know that every single client of mine (and me too!) have all felt like they were the only one that IE isn't going to work for. They think it's great for other people, but it won't work for them. So I know many of you feel this way, but it's not true. You'll get through it. Let every binge or overeating episode be a learning experience. Everything else we learn comes from making mistakes.

Back to nutrition. If you have a serious health issue right now, it is important to work with a doctor, dietician, etc. for any special needs you have. But most people find that after they have made peace with food and it's all permissible, they aren't always eating those same foods that they were so concerned about. As you move through the IE process, you will be paying more attention to your body and what it needs. You'll have that connection and your body will be asking for certain foods. You'll be pleasantly surprised to find your body asking for fruits and vegetables, and other "healthy", nutritious foods that support health. And you also get to eat those other foods that may not be as nutritious but taste really good. But there will be a natural shift to where the supportive foods are more appealing more often and you will notice how good they make you feel physically.

I used to eat regardless of hunger, I didn't know what that was. My usual finishing point in a meal would be an 8 on the hunger scale (the scale I use, 8 is beyond full and the scale goes from 0 to 10). I would eat to a 9 or 10 when I was overeating or binging. 10 would send me to bed with a food coma. Much to my surprise and happiness, I can no longer eat to a 9 or 10. I just simply can't do it. I don't want to feel that way. If I overeat (yes, it does happen on occasion, no big deal), I may end up at an 8. What felt normal before, now feels awful. I don't like being at an 8, I want to stop when I'm satisfied (6-7 for me) because it feels good. This is possible for all of you and you'll be just as surprised when you get there. I promise!

I didn't intend for this to be so long. I guess I have a good start to that book I'll write some day. I do hope this is helpful, I've been at this for a long time. I began my own IE journey in 1999 and have been coaching on it for many years so I've seen what is possible and I know it in my heart. You are all here because you are ready to be here and whatever you are dealing with will help make you stronger. Take advantage of the learning experiences each challenge brings. Try to avoid beating yourself up and instead ask yourself what can you learn from this situation.

I'll write another post with some simple ideas and tips that may be helpful in getting through this early stage of IE.

Thanks!GillianGillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

Get your report, "The 6 Steps to Guilt-Fr*e Eating" at http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood

February 4, 2010

Gillian, thanks for much for this! I was definitely confused, and attempting to

eat forbidden foods until I no longer craved them or got bored. Unfortunately,

this wasn't happening, so I thought something was wrong! No I realize the goal

is simply to make them less " special " in my own mind, not necessarily

unappealing altogether.

This makes a huge difference!

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> It seems that this is one of the main issues coming up over the last few

> days, so I thought I would try to address it and see if I can be of help. I

> can tell you that this is a very normal concern, almost all my clients have

> it when they start out, and I certainly did as well. It seems so wrong to

> eat whatever we want because we've been subjected to rules that say we can't

> and if we do we are bad. And of course the food police are always telling us

> we have to eat " clean " or " healthy " because we'll have all kinds of diseases

> and all that stuff you hear all the time.

>

> To clarify, IE does not say you can eat whatever you want, whenever you

> want. Many people take it that way and get very scared about gaining weight

> and losing control. Keep in mind, however, that IE also doesn't say you must

> ONLY eat when you are hungry and you must ALWAYS stop when satisfied. This

> is what I call the Intuitive Eating Diet. I say that sarcastically because

> there is no such thing. But when you put rules on it and use words like only

> or always, it's a diet. That is black and white thinking.

>

> It is very important to work on making all foods permissible. At this stage,

> setting up restrictions, even those that are made in the name of healthy

> eating, is counter-productive. It is true that some people gain weight when

> they begin this process. My experience is that it's not a lot of weight, but

> I know even a little feels bad. I have heard the very rare stories of

> someone gaining a lot of weight during the giving permission stage, but I

> can tell you that there was something going on that wasn't in line with IE.

>

> I just finished my latest class with Tribole an hour ago and she said

> something that may be helpful. And the fact that she is talking about this

> just shows even more how normal your concerns are, you aren't alone in this.

> She said that many people think that if they eat something they've had

> trouble with over and over again, the goal is to become tired of that food,

> maybe not even want it anymore. What the purpose really is of giving

> yourself permission to eat anything is to make all foods neutral. It doesn't

> mean you won't want those chocolate chip cookies anymore, it just means that

> they won't have the same pull on you, calling your name, creating obsessive

> thoughts and anxiety when they are around. Making the cookies neutral, you

> still really like them, but you don't worry about them going away forever or

> feel guilty for eating them. The technical term for this is " habituation " if

> anyone is interested in knowing that. I love this stuff!

>

> Now, about nutrition and health. We all know that some foods have more

> nutrition than others. Some have more calories than others. Some promote

> better health than others. And IE is not saying you should ignore this. The

> problem is we've been bombarded with health and nutrition information. You

> know what is healthy and what isn't. You know what foods may lead to heart

> disease or Type II diabetes. We've known this for a long time. But has it

> changed anything? Unfortunately, for the majority of people, this info

> doesn't help change our behavior. If it did, diets would work. I'm sure you

> know people that have had a heart attack and go right back to eating the way

> they always did. It's no different than the smoker who is in the hospital

> for a heart attack and has to sneak out of the hospital room to smoke. He

> knows the smoking is bad and threatening his life but he doesn't stop.

>

> Of course smoking is somewhat different than overeating because there is a

> very strong chemical addiction. But there is a lot of psychological stuff

> going on as well. And if you don't deal with that, nothing changes.

>

> Excess weight is a symptom of whatever is going on that is causing you to

> turn to food. Overeating is actually a way of taking care of yourself that

> you have learned. It's a coping mechanism. The weight, the excess food, the

> food choices, all are symptoms. Diets treat the symptom. IE deals with the

> cause. Figure out and deal with the cause and the symptoms go away. Because

> of dieting, one cause is usually deprivation and restriction. Giving

> yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods reverses deprivation. You

> must deal with the cause, not the symptoms.

>

> It's a process and it's not easy, I know, having dealt with this since the

> age of 8. It took me time, but I made it through. And it's not just me, it's

> my clients as well. They find a way to the other side where they have a

> peaceful relationship with food. And you all should know that every single

> client of mine (and me too!) have all felt like they were the only one that

> IE isn't going to work for. They think it's great for other people, but it

> won't work for them. So I know many of you feel this way, but it's not true.

> You'll get through it. Let every binge or overeating episode be a learning

> experience. Everything else we learn comes from making mistakes.

>

> Back to nutrition. If you have a serious health issue right now, it is

> important to work with a doctor, dietician, etc. for any special needs you

> have. But most people find that after they have made peace with food and

> it's all permissible, they aren't always eating those same foods that they

> were so concerned about. As you move through the IE process, you will be

> paying more attention to your body and what it needs. You'll have that

> connection and your body will be asking for certain foods. You'll be

> pleasantly surprised to find your body asking for fruits and vegetables, and

> other " healthy " , nutritious foods that support health. And you also get to

> eat those other foods that may not be as nutritious but taste really good.

> But there will be a natural shift to where the supportive foods are more

> appealing more often and you will notice how good they make you feel

> physically.

>

> I used to eat regardless of hunger, I didn't know what that was. My usual

> finishing point in a meal would be an 8 on the hunger scale (the scale I

> use, 8 is beyond full and the scale goes from 0 to 10). I would eat to a 9

> or 10 when I was overeating or binging. 10 would send me to bed with a food

> coma. Much to my surprise and happiness, I can no longer eat to a 9 or 10. I

> just simply can't do it. I don't want to feel that way. If I overeat (yes,

> it does happen on occasion, no big deal), I may end up at an 8. What felt

> normal before, now feels awful. I don't like being at an 8, I want to stop

> when I'm satisfied (6-7 for me) because it feels good. This is possible for

> all of you and you'll be just as surprised when you get there. I promise!

>

> I didn't intend for this to be so long. I guess I have a good start to that

> book I'll write some day. I do hope this is helpful, I've been at this for a

> long time. I began my own IE journey in 1999 and have been coaching on it

> for many years so I've seen what is possible and I know it in my heart. You

> are all here because you are ready to be here and whatever you are dealing

> with will help make you stronger. Take advantage of the learning experiences

> each challenge brings. Try to avoid beating yourself up and instead ask

> yourself what can you learn from this situation.

>

> I'll write another post with some simple ideas and tips that may be helpful

> in getting through this early stage of IE.

>

> Thanks!

> Gillian

> Gillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

>

> Get your report, " The 6 Steps to Guilt-Fr*e Eating " at

> http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com <http://www.healthieroutcomes.com/>

> Follow me on Twitter: <http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood>

> http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood

>

February 4, 2010