Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

[Guest guest]

In the photo that I was referring to here it was just me and a

10-day old. Yes, I was much bigger than her J

I’m honestly not sure what the difference is. I’ve never liked

to see myself photographed. But recently it’s become worse.

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of sue

Sent: Tuesday, March 09, 2010 1:15 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

Hi Jonathon (and others): Maybe you compare

yourself to others and consider yourself less attractive, etc. than others in

photos??

SUE

> >

> > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also

> former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live

> out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group

> photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I

> looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I

> reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting

> coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done

> before.

> >

> > Jeanne

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Recently, a picture had been taken of my partner and me. We don't have very many, so this was going to be very special. However, when our friend handed me the photo, my heart dropped to the floor and I said "Oh my God....I'm so fat!" Totally ruined the joy of having this new photo, which should have been enlarged and framed....and instead, I have buried it and don't even remember where.

As for looking in the mirror, especially undressed.....I try very hard to NOT look, and when I have to, I'm just focusing on the small portion I'm having to see, at that moment. I have permanent blinders on, always guarded for the reflection that might be ready to face me. Our last apartment had mirrored closet doors.....what a nightmare!

Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

Hi Jonathon (and others): Maybe you compare yourself to others and consider yourself less attractive, etc. than others in photos??

SUE

> >

> > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also

> former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live

> out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group

> photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I

> looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I

> reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting

> coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done

> before.

> >

> > Jeanne

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Recently, a picture had been taken of my partner and me. We don't have very many, so this was going to be very special. However, when our friend handed me the photo, my heart dropped to the floor and I said "Oh my God....I'm so fat!" Totally ruined the joy of having this new photo, which should have been enlarged and framed....and instead, I have buried it and don't even remember where.

As for looking in the mirror, especially undressed.....I try very hard to NOT look, and when I have to, I'm just focusing on the small portion I'm having to see, at that moment. I have permanent blinders on, always guarded for the reflection that might be ready to face me. Our last apartment had mirrored closet doors.....what a nightmare!

Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

Hi Jonathon (and others): Maybe you compare yourself to others and consider yourself less attractive, etc. than others in photos??

SUE

> >

> > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also

> former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live

> out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group

> photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I

> looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I

> reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting

> coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done

> before.

> >

> > Jeanne

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Ginger: Good start! Focus on what you like and you might notice other equally

attractive features.

SUE

>

> I like my hair, & the color of my eyes. That's all I can think of right now.

:-)

> Ginger

> Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

>

> Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

>

> Hi Ginger: Is there anything you like about your body? Your face? Your hands?

Your fingernails?

>

> I have to admit ... Even though I'm relatively thin, I notice the flacid

muscles on my arms (because I don't bike year round). I notice the excess skin

(flab flaps? LOL) on my waiste. So I try to shift my attention to what I like.

If that doesn't work, I remind myself that I look much better dressed,

especially when I choose styles that flatter my body.

>

> SUE

>

> PS I have horrible, thin, tearing fingernails.

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about photographs- I avoid cameras like the plague...not just because of my self-consciousness but I am honestly not photogenic. Even candid shots turn out bad most of the time.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2010 13:26:05 -0600To: <IntuitiveEating_Support >Subject: RE: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts In the photo that I was referring to here it was just me and a10-day old. Yes, I was much bigger than her J I’m honestly not sure what the difference is. I’ve never likedto see myself photographed. But recently it’s become worse. From:IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of sueSent: Tuesday, March 09, 2010 1:15 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts Hi Jonathon (and others): Maybe you compareyourself to others and consider yourself less attractive, etc. than others inphotos?? SUE> >> > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also> former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live> out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group> photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I> looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I> reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting> coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done> before. > > > > Jeanne > >>

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about photographs- I avoid cameras like the plague...not just because of my self-consciousness but I am honestly not photogenic. Even candid shots turn out bad most of the time.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2010 13:26:05 -0600To: <IntuitiveEating_Support >Subject: RE: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts In the photo that I was referring to here it was just me and a10-day old. Yes, I was much bigger than her J I’m honestly not sure what the difference is. I’ve never likedto see myself photographed. But recently it’s become worse. From:IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of sueSent: Tuesday, March 09, 2010 1:15 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts Hi Jonathon (and others): Maybe you compareyourself to others and consider yourself less attractive, etc. than others inphotos?? SUE> >> > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also> former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live> out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group> photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I> looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I> reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting> coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done> before. > > > > Jeanne > >>

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about photographs- I avoid cameras like the plague...not just because of my self-consciousness but I am honestly not photogenic. Even candid shots turn out bad most of the time.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2010 13:26:05 -0600To: <IntuitiveEating_Support >Subject: RE: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts In the photo that I was referring to here it was just me and a10-day old. Yes, I was much bigger than her J I’m honestly not sure what the difference is. I’ve never likedto see myself photographed. But recently it’s become worse. From:IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of sueSent: Tuesday, March 09, 2010 1:15 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts Hi Jonathon (and others): Maybe you compareyourself to others and consider yourself less attractive, etc. than others inphotos?? SUE> >> > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also> former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live> out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group> photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I> looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I> reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting> coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done> before. > > > > Jeanne > >>

[Guest guest]

I walked on the boardwalk yesterday and I saw my reflection about 6x and I felt fine with it; no problem; actually felt good. But this isn't the end of the story....

I was at Dunkin Donuts just getting a cup of decaf tea with lemon, and there was this woman who was a size 0, I am totally sure of it! And I saw my reflection and HERS at the SAME TIME!!!!!! OMG, talk about a cr*p moment! lol!!! Sh*t, how big do you think I looked right next to her?!? The answer is, I looked really BIG!

I compared yesterday to today and sometimes my head could spin at the difference in interpretation of my reflection from one day to the next.

It's all in the interpretation of what we see when we see ourselves I think. What frame do we put around it?

At Dunkin Donuts i was obviously framing my self-assessment based on comparison to extraordinarily thin people. So if i change the frame......I change how I feel about myself. So forget that skinny woman!

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 3:50:51 PMSubject: Re: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

Recently, a picture had been taken of my partner and me. We don't have very many, so this was going to be very special. However, when our friend handed me the photo, my heart dropped to the floor and I said "Oh my God....I'm so fat!" Totally ruined the joy of having this new photo, which should have been enlarged and framed....and instead, I have buried it and don't even remember where.As for looking in the mirror, especially undressed... ..I try very hard to NOT look, and when I have to, I'm just focusing on the small portion I'm having to see, at that moment. I have permanent blinders on, always guarded for the reflection that might be ready to face me. Our last apartment had mirrored closet doors.....what a nightmare!

[intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

Hi Jonathon (and others): Maybe you compare yourself to others and consider yourself less attractive, etc. than others in photos?? SUE> >> > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also> former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live> out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group> photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I> looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I> reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting> coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done> before. > > > > Jeanne >

>>

[Guest guest]

This is kinda silly, but one thing that really helped me with body image is to

look at other beautiful women that are about my size. I'm not overweight, but

I'm very pear-shaped. I think plus-sized models are beautiful. Also, I love

looking at Renaissance depictions of women because they're often fuller-figured,

but still very feminine. They look a little weird at first because the artists

were still figuring out proportions and perspective and stuff, but they depicted

women they thought were beautiful, because glorifying the human form was a big

deal. I think we forget how amazing our bodies really are.

I also heard a funny quote the other day from a man, " If I wanted a woman with

the body of a ten-year-old boy, I'd just date a ten year old boy. " Maybe that

only appeals to my warped sense of humor, but I think it's true.

I'm sorry for leaving men out of this post, but I realize that larger men have

even less body roll-models than women. Find something that empowers you and your

body, that's the bottom line.

McKella

> > >

> > > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also

> > former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live

> > out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group

> > photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I

> > looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I

> > reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting

> > coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done

> > before.

> > >

> > > Jeanne

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This is kinda silly, but one thing that really helped me with body image is to

look at other beautiful women that are about my size. I'm not overweight, but

I'm very pear-shaped. I think plus-sized models are beautiful. Also, I love

looking at Renaissance depictions of women because they're often fuller-figured,

but still very feminine. They look a little weird at first because the artists

were still figuring out proportions and perspective and stuff, but they depicted

women they thought were beautiful, because glorifying the human form was a big

deal. I think we forget how amazing our bodies really are.

I also heard a funny quote the other day from a man, " If I wanted a woman with

the body of a ten-year-old boy, I'd just date a ten year old boy. " Maybe that

only appeals to my warped sense of humor, but I think it's true.

I'm sorry for leaving men out of this post, but I realize that larger men have

even less body roll-models than women. Find something that empowers you and your

body, that's the bottom line.

McKella

> > >

> > > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also

> > former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live

> > out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group

> > photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I

> > looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I

> > reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting

> > coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done

> > before.

> > >

> > > Jeanne

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This is kinda silly, but one thing that really helped me with body image is to

look at other beautiful women that are about my size. I'm not overweight, but

I'm very pear-shaped. I think plus-sized models are beautiful. Also, I love

looking at Renaissance depictions of women because they're often fuller-figured,

but still very feminine. They look a little weird at first because the artists

were still figuring out proportions and perspective and stuff, but they depicted

women they thought were beautiful, because glorifying the human form was a big

deal. I think we forget how amazing our bodies really are.

I also heard a funny quote the other day from a man, " If I wanted a woman with

the body of a ten-year-old boy, I'd just date a ten year old boy. " Maybe that

only appeals to my warped sense of humor, but I think it's true.

I'm sorry for leaving men out of this post, but I realize that larger men have

even less body roll-models than women. Find something that empowers you and your

body, that's the bottom line.

McKella

> > >

> > > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also

> > former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live

> > out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group

> > photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I

> > looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I

> > reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting

> > coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done

> > before.

> > >

> > > Jeanne

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I have to admit that I've always been my worst critic!!! Believe it or not, looking at myself in the mirror unclothed is a little easier now though that I've gained some weight. I do see my faults, the flab, loose skin, the aging body. But when I start feeling a self-contempt with what I see in the mirror, I'm trying to remind myself that I'm not 25 anymore and have put my body through a lot over the years with yo-yoing weight. When I saw that photo taken at the luncheon, I think I allowed my self-critic to sneak in.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Hi McKella,

I also look at other plus size women and think they are very attractive; that helps me too. I love the s and Renoir paintings also. Sometimes I just search on-line for paintings or photos of larger women; I like to see the contemporary artwork related to larger women.

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 11:34:19 PMSubject: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

This is kinda silly, but one thing that really helped me with body image is to look at other beautiful women that are about my size. I'm not overweight, but I'm very pear-shaped. I think plus-sized models are beautiful. Also, I love looking at Renaissance depictions of women because they're often fuller-figured, but still very feminine. They look a little weird at first because the artists were still figuring out proportions and perspective and stuff, but they depicted women they thought were beautiful, because glorifying the human form was a big deal. I think we forget how amazing our bodies really are. I also heard a funny quote the other day from a man, "If I wanted a woman with the body of a ten-year-old boy, I'd just date a ten year old boy." Maybe that only appeals to my warped sense of humor, but I think it's true. I'm sorry for leaving men out of this post, but I realize that larger men have even less body roll-models than women. Find

something that empowers you and your body, that's the bottom line.McKella> > >> > > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also> > former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live> > out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group> > photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I> > looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I> > reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting> > coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done> > before. > > > > > > Jeanne > > >> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi McKella,

I also look at other plus size women and think they are very attractive; that helps me too. I love the s and Renoir paintings also. Sometimes I just search on-line for paintings or photos of larger women; I like to see the contemporary artwork related to larger women.

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 11:34:19 PMSubject: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

This is kinda silly, but one thing that really helped me with body image is to look at other beautiful women that are about my size. I'm not overweight, but I'm very pear-shaped. I think plus-sized models are beautiful. Also, I love looking at Renaissance depictions of women because they're often fuller-figured, but still very feminine. They look a little weird at first because the artists were still figuring out proportions and perspective and stuff, but they depicted women they thought were beautiful, because glorifying the human form was a big deal. I think we forget how amazing our bodies really are. I also heard a funny quote the other day from a man, "If I wanted a woman with the body of a ten-year-old boy, I'd just date a ten year old boy." Maybe that only appeals to my warped sense of humor, but I think it's true. I'm sorry for leaving men out of this post, but I realize that larger men have even less body roll-models than women. Find

something that empowers you and your body, that's the bottom line.McKella> > >> > > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also> > former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live> > out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group> > photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I> > looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I> > reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting> > coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done> > before. > > > > > > Jeanne > > >> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi McKella,

I also look at other plus size women and think they are very attractive; that helps me too. I love the s and Renoir paintings also. Sometimes I just search on-line for paintings or photos of larger women; I like to see the contemporary artwork related to larger women.

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 11:34:19 PMSubject: Re: picture triggered bad thoughts

This is kinda silly, but one thing that really helped me with body image is to look at other beautiful women that are about my size. I'm not overweight, but I'm very pear-shaped. I think plus-sized models are beautiful. Also, I love looking at Renaissance depictions of women because they're often fuller-figured, but still very feminine. They look a little weird at first because the artists were still figuring out proportions and perspective and stuff, but they depicted women they thought were beautiful, because glorifying the human form was a big deal. I think we forget how amazing our bodies really are. I also heard a funny quote the other day from a man, "If I wanted a woman with the body of a ten-year-old boy, I'd just date a ten year old boy." Maybe that only appeals to my warped sense of humor, but I think it's true. I'm sorry for leaving men out of this post, but I realize that larger men have even less body roll-models than women. Find

something that empowers you and your body, that's the bottom line.McKella> > >> > > It happened to me too in Feb when a group of my lady friends and also> > former co-workers got together for lunch. A couple of my friends now live> > out of state, and someone thought it would be a nice idea to take a group> > photo (yuke!!). When we were e-mailed the photo, I was shocked at how I> > looked and had one of those momentary crazy thoughts of diet. Then I> > reminded myself that IE is a process of relearning some new longer lasting> > coping and eating skills and is a much healthier road than what I had done> > before. > > > > > > Jeanne > > >> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I've never really liked having photos taken of myself because I'm so darn critical! If there is any comparison made, it isn't really with my friends and how they look, but to some unrealistic standards I have for myself in my brain, I think.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

I'm definitely my own worst critic. Another thing I learned from being

bulimic is that the eye/brain doesn't always see reality when looking

in a mirror--often it's bigger or smaller. Photos show the truth, and

if it's not how you picture yourself it can be quite a shock.

Sohni

J W ELLER wrote:

I have to admit that I've always been my worst critic!!!

Believe it or not, looking at myself in the mirror unclothed is a

little easier now though that I've gained some weight. I do see my

faults, the flab, loose skin, the aging body. But when I start feeling

a self-contempt with what I see in the mirror, I'm trying to remind

myself that I'm not 25 anymore and have put my body through a lot over

the years with yo-yoing weight. When I saw that photo taken at the

luncheon, I think I allowed my self-critic to sneak in.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

I'm definitely my own worst critic. Another thing I learned from being

bulimic is that the eye/brain doesn't always see reality when looking

in a mirror--often it's bigger or smaller. Photos show the truth, and

if it's not how you picture yourself it can be quite a shock.

Sohni

J W ELLER wrote:

I have to admit that I've always been my worst critic!!!

Believe it or not, looking at myself in the mirror unclothed is a

little easier now though that I've gained some weight. I do see my

faults, the flab, loose skin, the aging body. But when I start feeling

a self-contempt with what I see in the mirror, I'm trying to remind

myself that I'm not 25 anymore and have put my body through a lot over

the years with yo-yoing weight. When I saw that photo taken at the

luncheon, I think I allowed my self-critic to sneak in.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

I'm definitely my own worst critic. Another thing I learned from being

bulimic is that the eye/brain doesn't always see reality when looking

in a mirror--often it's bigger or smaller. Photos show the truth, and

if it's not how you picture yourself it can be quite a shock.

Sohni

J W ELLER wrote:

I have to admit that I've always been my worst critic!!!

Believe it or not, looking at myself in the mirror unclothed is a

little easier now though that I've gained some weight. I do see my

faults, the flab, loose skin, the aging body. But when I start feeling

a self-contempt with what I see in the mirror, I'm trying to remind

myself that I'm not 25 anymore and have put my body through a lot over

the years with yo-yoing weight. When I saw that photo taken at the

luncheon, I think I allowed my self-critic to sneak in.

Jeanne