Friendships that bring up food stuff

June 30, 2010

I think I've mentioned to a few of you that a lot of my food stuff revolves

around my codependancy. Well I have this relationship that I do over and over

in my life of being friends with people who don't have boundaries and who aren't

interested in being healthy in their life, right now that person is my neighbor.

Its incredible to me that one person can wreak such havoc in my personal life

but somehow they can. We've lived here a yr and I really struggle with setting

boundaries with people so I was friendly and as time went on I found myself

lending her food out of my cupboard 2-3 times a week and she came over all the

time and it just got weird for me. Because of my inability to say no this woman

felt like she could have free reign in my home. Well I have had a few

conversations with her about it and I have been able to avoid her for most of

the summer.

At the same time I have gone back to my IE so I am really just in the first few

weeks of letting go of the food obsession and allowing myself to eat what I want

when I want. Well today was her birthday and she wanted me and my kids to go

to the pool with her and her kids and so I went with her. I immediately felt

the urge to obsess around food, and I wanted to eat even though I was hungry. I

don't think that I did but the shorts I am wearing are a little tight around the

waist so I keep focusing on that.

I said a little prayer before we went to the pool and asked God to help me be

aware if she was trying to be manipulative or if she was talking trash about

people which are two things she does that drives me crazy. It actually went

better than expected, but I am so scared to hang out with her because I am

scared I won't be able to hold my own with her and I will overeat because of it.

I also am aware though that if I don't learn how to say no to this person I will

inevitably end up having this relationship again in the future with someone else

untill I can learn to take care of myself in it.

I really just needed to get this out and share it with someone so it wasn't just

going round and round in my head.

Thank you,

Tana

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