Guest guest Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 Hey Sue,I could be the minority here, but I say eat. As long as I am aware and am making a choice I am willing to eat. I figure that at the stage I'm at, that is a huge step in itself. Oh, if another activity sounds good, I'll do it, but if eating is the only thing that seems to fit the bill, eat. Don't beat yourself up over it either. Yes, it's wrong to eat all the time, to try to hide our feelings very existence with food, but if you are aware of the feelings and still choose to eat, whether it's for a reprive, a stalling tactic or something else, then that is a victory, because it is a conscious choice you made and that still leaves you aware and in control. I'm sorry to hear that your mother is showing signs of her age. Hope today goes well. Dawn RTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wed, July 7, 2010 7:54:10 AMSubject: rough day yesterday I have been feeling like I am lost the last few days. The holiday weekend was difficult for me…I felt so distracted (lots of company here) that I lost my way. I had a rough day yesterday with hearing about how bad the summer cabin had been left by my parents for my son and his wife’s visit there. My mom is slipping and fading away so quickly now. Several e-mail conversations with my sister left me feeling so sad and depressed yesterday. Then, I woke this morning beating myself up for eating as I did yesterday. I will have to admit, however, that I was pretty aware of what I was doing with my eating yesterday…aware of trying to numb the feelings. And, in reality, my eating wasn’t all that bad, but I was feeling badly about eating over feelings. Oh wait…perhaps I need to remember that I am human and it’s ok to feel!!! I am not used to knowing what else to do with my feelings other than eat. I did kind of force myself to go to the pool for a short while in the afternoon and that felt really good. But then when I came home, I dreaded calling my dad to see how mom was and put it off for a couple of hours. And then ate snacks all night. Today we are going to see my parents and perhaps I will feel a little better about their situation…or not. Regardless, today I am going to work on finding ways to deal with my feelings that don’t involve food. Any suggestions welcome!Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 Hey Sue,I could be the minority here, but I say eat. As long as I am aware and am making a choice I am willing to eat. I figure that at the stage I'm at, that is a huge step in itself. Oh, if another activity sounds good, I'll do it, but if eating is the only thing that seems to fit the bill, eat. Don't beat yourself up over it either. Yes, it's wrong to eat all the time, to try to hide our feelings very existence with food, but if you are aware of the feelings and still choose to eat, whether it's for a reprive, a stalling tactic or something else, then that is a victory, because it is a conscious choice you made and that still leaves you aware and in control. I'm sorry to hear that your mother is showing signs of her age. Hope today goes well. Dawn RTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wed, July 7, 2010 7:54:10 AMSubject: rough day yesterday I have been feeling like I am lost the last few days. The holiday weekend was difficult for me…I felt so distracted (lots of company here) that I lost my way. I had a rough day yesterday with hearing about how bad the summer cabin had been left by my parents for my son and his wife’s visit there. My mom is slipping and fading away so quickly now. Several e-mail conversations with my sister left me feeling so sad and depressed yesterday. Then, I woke this morning beating myself up for eating as I did yesterday. I will have to admit, however, that I was pretty aware of what I was doing with my eating yesterday…aware of trying to numb the feelings. And, in reality, my eating wasn’t all that bad, but I was feeling badly about eating over feelings. Oh wait…perhaps I need to remember that I am human and it’s ok to feel!!! I am not used to knowing what else to do with my feelings other than eat. I did kind of force myself to go to the pool for a short while in the afternoon and that felt really good. But then when I came home, I dreaded calling my dad to see how mom was and put it off for a couple of hours. And then ate snacks all night. Today we are going to see my parents and perhaps I will feel a little better about their situation…or not. Regardless, today I am going to work on finding ways to deal with my feelings that don’t involve food. Any suggestions welcome!Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 Hey Sue,I could be the minority here, but I say eat. As long as I am aware and am making a choice I am willing to eat. I figure that at the stage I'm at, that is a huge step in itself. Oh, if another activity sounds good, I'll do it, but if eating is the only thing that seems to fit the bill, eat. Don't beat yourself up over it either. Yes, it's wrong to eat all the time, to try to hide our feelings very existence with food, but if you are aware of the feelings and still choose to eat, whether it's for a reprive, a stalling tactic or something else, then that is a victory, because it is a conscious choice you made and that still leaves you aware and in control. I'm sorry to hear that your mother is showing signs of her age. Hope today goes well. Dawn RTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wed, July 7, 2010 7:54:10 AMSubject: rough day yesterday I have been feeling like I am lost the last few days. The holiday weekend was difficult for me…I felt so distracted (lots of company here) that I lost my way. I had a rough day yesterday with hearing about how bad the summer cabin had been left by my parents for my son and his wife’s visit there. My mom is slipping and fading away so quickly now. Several e-mail conversations with my sister left me feeling so sad and depressed yesterday. Then, I woke this morning beating myself up for eating as I did yesterday. I will have to admit, however, that I was pretty aware of what I was doing with my eating yesterday…aware of trying to numb the feelings. And, in reality, my eating wasn’t all that bad, but I was feeling badly about eating over feelings. Oh wait…perhaps I need to remember that I am human and it’s ok to feel!!! I am not used to knowing what else to do with my feelings other than eat. I did kind of force myself to go to the pool for a short while in the afternoon and that felt really good. But then when I came home, I dreaded calling my dad to see how mom was and put it off for a couple of hours. And then ate snacks all night. Today we are going to see my parents and perhaps I will feel a little better about their situation…or not. Regardless, today I am going to work on finding ways to deal with my feelings that don’t involve food. Any suggestions welcome!Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 Hi, Sue, I'm dealing with some on-and-off depression here, too, because my one dog, Sadie, is old and sometimes gets ill and can't keep her food down, and this is just a month after losing our other dog, Duncan, to cancer. So I find my feelings go up and down with how Sadie is doing--and so I can really sympathize with you finding it hard to deal with your mom not doing well and seeming to fail more dramatically now. I have long used flower remedies to help me through times like this, and I do find they work. I'm currently using one of the Flower Essence Society's (FES) "Flourish" formulas, called "Illumine," which is for depression. It doesn't do anything but take the hard edge off of your feelings, and I find it helps me deal with Sadie's decline and be more accepting of it, even though I'm still sad at the thought of losing her. I started taking it again a few days ago, and it helped me decide to stop eating to numb out and instead get back to exercising, which always makes me feel better. If you're interested, you can google it; it is available directly from FES online. It comes in a spray bottle you can just squirt into your mouth, or rub onto your skin. The bottle lasts a pretty long time. Sorry to sound like a commercial; I'm not affiliated with this company in any way, just find it works for me beautifully. (I also like other of the Flourish formulas, like "Active-8" for purpose and passion, and "Mind-Full" for mental clarity and coherence.) I was surprised as I was reading the IE book to see the authors state in Chapter 15 that they believe there first needs to be a healing from disordered eating before you can become an intuitive eater; this makes sense, of course--you can't just expect (as I guess I was) to plunge into IE and have all your old ingrained habits just fall away. As Geneen Roth says, we have exquisitely good reasons for the overeating we do. Take time to find a way out of your old coping mechanisms. I know mine are intrenched by years of practicing them, and I try to tell myself that *any* progress is better than no progress. I truly don't think I'm capable anymore of totally zoned-out eating, which is what it sounds like you're experiencing, too. I'd say that's considerable progress! Be kind to yourself--you're going through some tough times with your mom now. There's bound to be some slippage, not just from this, but for the rest of our lives. When times get tough, things will seem to fall apart a little. But that doesn't mean all is lost--we just pick up from there and go on. I hope this helped. All best, Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 Hi, Sue, I'm dealing with some on-and-off depression here, too, because my one dog, Sadie, is old and sometimes gets ill and can't keep her food down, and this is just a month after losing our other dog, Duncan, to cancer. So I find my feelings go up and down with how Sadie is doing--and so I can really sympathize with you finding it hard to deal with your mom not doing well and seeming to fail more dramatically now. I have long used flower remedies to help me through times like this, and I do find they work. I'm currently using one of the Flower Essence Society's (FES) "Flourish" formulas, called "Illumine," which is for depression. It doesn't do anything but take the hard edge off of your feelings, and I find it helps me deal with Sadie's decline and be more accepting of it, even though I'm still sad at the thought of losing her. I started taking it again a few days ago, and it helped me decide to stop eating to numb out and instead get back to exercising, which always makes me feel better. If you're interested, you can google it; it is available directly from FES online. It comes in a spray bottle you can just squirt into your mouth, or rub onto your skin. The bottle lasts a pretty long time. Sorry to sound like a commercial; I'm not affiliated with this company in any way, just find it works for me beautifully. (I also like other of the Flourish formulas, like "Active-8" for purpose and passion, and "Mind-Full" for mental clarity and coherence.) I was surprised as I was reading the IE book to see the authors state in Chapter 15 that they believe there first needs to be a healing from disordered eating before you can become an intuitive eater; this makes sense, of course--you can't just expect (as I guess I was) to plunge into IE and have all your old ingrained habits just fall away. As Geneen Roth says, we have exquisitely good reasons for the overeating we do. Take time to find a way out of your old coping mechanisms. I know mine are intrenched by years of practicing them, and I try to tell myself that *any* progress is better than no progress. I truly don't think I'm capable anymore of totally zoned-out eating, which is what it sounds like you're experiencing, too. I'd say that's considerable progress! Be kind to yourself--you're going through some tough times with your mom now. There's bound to be some slippage, not just from this, but for the rest of our lives. When times get tough, things will seem to fall apart a little. But that doesn't mean all is lost--we just pick up from there and go on. I hope this helped. All best, Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 Thanks so much Laurie. It is so wonderful that we have this group for support!!! Hi, Sue, I'm dealing with some on-and-off depression here, too, because my one dog, Sadie, is old and sometimes gets ill and can't keep her food down, and this is just a month after losing our other dog, Duncan, to cancer. So I find my feelings go up and down with how Sadie is doing--and so I can really sympathize with you finding it hard to deal with your mom not doing well and seeming to fail more dramatically now. I have long used flower remedies to help me through times like this, and I do find they work. I'm currently using one of the Flower Essence Society's (FES) " Flourish " formulas, called " Illumine, " which is for depression. It doesn't do anything but take the hard edge off of your feelings, and I find it helps me deal with Sadie's decline and be more accepting of it, even though I'm still sad at the thought of losing her. I started taking it again a few days ago, and it helped me decide to stop eating to numb out and instead get back to exercising, which always makes me feel better. If you're interested, you can google it; it is available directly from FES online. It comes in a spray bottle you can just squirt into your mouth, or rub onto your skin. The bottle lasts a pretty long time. Sorry to sound like a commercial; I'm not affiliated with this company in any way, just find it works for me beautifully. (I also like other of the Flourish formulas, like " Active-8 " for purpose and passion, and " Mind-Full " for mental clarity and coherence.) I was surprised as I was reading the IE book to see the authors state in Chapter 15 that they believe there first needs to be a healing from disordered eating before you can become an intuitive eater; this makes sense, of course--you can't just expect (as I guess I was) to plunge into IE and have all your old ingrained habits just fall away. As Geneen Roth says, we have exquisitely good reasons for the overeating we do. Take time to find a way out of your old coping mechanisms. I know mine are intrenched by years of practicing them, and I try to tell myself that *any* progress is better than no progress. I truly don't think I'm capable anymore of totally zoned-out eating, which is what it sounds like you're experiencing, too. I'd say that's considerable progress! Be kind to yourself--you're going through some tough times with your mom now. There's bound to be some slippage, not just from this, but for the rest of our lives. When times get tough, things will seem to fall apart a little. But that doesn't mean all is lost--we just pick up from there and go on. I hope this helped. All best, Laurie -- Sue on FritzCheck out my blogs at: http://alifeofbooks.blogspot.com/http://suesresearch.blogspot.com http://suesretirementmusings.blogspot.com/Check out my books on Goodreads: < Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Share Posted July 8, 2010 Thanks Josie! I did have a much better day yesterday....until after dinner when I ate more than I needed (wasn't hungry at all), but that is an ongoing issue for me, so I am working on it! Hi Sue, Sorry you're having a rough time. It's tough when a parent is ill. I don't have any easy answers, but do be sure to recognize your progress. I heard a number of positive things in your message. First, while you're not necessarily eating just when hungry, it doesn't sound like you were binging. That's good. Even eating less than you normally would have under the same circumstance is a good thing. Second, you recognized that you were eating because of feelings. Recognizing the problem is half the battle. Third, you did take action to address your feelings other than eating, by going to the pool. Those are all awesome. This is a process and none of us are going to be perfect. I'm always guilty of this myself, but it's so easy to focus on the bad and not recognize the good. Try to focus on the positive steps you've made and maybe it will make dealing with all the other " stuff " you've got going on right now, a bit easier. (((((hugs))))))) Josie > > I have been feeling like I am lost the last few days. The holiday weekend > was difficult for me…I felt so distracted (lots of company here) that I lost > my way. I had a rough day yesterday with hearing about how bad the summer > cabin had been left by my parents for my son and his wife's visit there. My > mom is slipping and fading away so quickly now. Several e-mail > conversations with my sister left me feeling so sad and depressed yesterday. > > > > Then, I woke this morning beating myself up for eating as I did yesterday. I > will have to admit, however, that I was pretty aware of what I was doing > with my eating yesterday…aware of trying to numb the feelings. And, in > reality, my eating wasn't all that bad, but I was feeling badly about eating > over feelings. Oh wait…perhaps I need to remember that I am human and it's > ok to feel!!! > > > I am not used to knowing what else to do with my feelings other than eat. I > did kind of force myself to go to the pool for a short while in the > afternoon and that felt really good. But then when I came home, I dreaded > calling my dad to see how mom was and put it off for a couple of hours. And > then ate snacks all night. > > > Today we are going to see my parents and perhaps I will feel a little better > about their situation…or not. Regardless, today I am going to work on > finding ways to deal with my feelings that don't involve food. > > Any suggestions welcome! > > Sue > -- Sue on FritzCheck out my blogs at: http://alifeofbooks.blogspot.com/http://suesresearch.blogspot.com http://suesretirementmusings.blogspot.com/Check out my books on Goodreads: < Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Share Posted July 8, 2010 Thanks Josie! I did have a much better day yesterday....until after dinner when I ate more than I needed (wasn't hungry at all), but that is an ongoing issue for me, so I am working on it! Hi Sue, Sorry you're having a rough time. It's tough when a parent is ill. I don't have any easy answers, but do be sure to recognize your progress. I heard a number of positive things in your message. First, while you're not necessarily eating just when hungry, it doesn't sound like you were binging. That's good. Even eating less than you normally would have under the same circumstance is a good thing. Second, you recognized that you were eating because of feelings. Recognizing the problem is half the battle. Third, you did take action to address your feelings other than eating, by going to the pool. Those are all awesome. This is a process and none of us are going to be perfect. I'm always guilty of this myself, but it's so easy to focus on the bad and not recognize the good. Try to focus on the positive steps you've made and maybe it will make dealing with all the other " stuff " you've got going on right now, a bit easier. (((((hugs))))))) Josie > > I have been feeling like I am lost the last few days. The holiday weekend > was difficult for me…I felt so distracted (lots of company here) that I lost > my way. I had a rough day yesterday with hearing about how bad the summer > cabin had been left by my parents for my son and his wife's visit there. My > mom is slipping and fading away so quickly now. Several e-mail > conversations with my sister left me feeling so sad and depressed yesterday. > > > > Then, I woke this morning beating myself up for eating as I did yesterday. I > will have to admit, however, that I was pretty aware of what I was doing > with my eating yesterday…aware of trying to numb the feelings. And, in > reality, my eating wasn't all that bad, but I was feeling badly about eating > over feelings. Oh wait…perhaps I need to remember that I am human and it's > ok to feel!!! > > > I am not used to knowing what else to do with my feelings other than eat. I > did kind of force myself to go to the pool for a short while in the > afternoon and that felt really good. But then when I came home, I dreaded > calling my dad to see how mom was and put it off for a couple of hours. And > then ate snacks all night. > > > Today we are going to see my parents and perhaps I will feel a little better > about their situation…or not. Regardless, today I am going to work on > finding ways to deal with my feelings that don't involve food. > > Any suggestions welcome! > > Sue > -- Sue on FritzCheck out my blogs at: http://alifeofbooks.blogspot.com/http://suesresearch.blogspot.com http://suesretirementmusings.blogspot.com/Check out my books on Goodreads: < Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Share Posted July 8, 2010 Thanks Josie! I did have a much better day yesterday....until after dinner when I ate more than I needed (wasn't hungry at all), but that is an ongoing issue for me, so I am working on it! Hi Sue, Sorry you're having a rough time. It's tough when a parent is ill. I don't have any easy answers, but do be sure to recognize your progress. I heard a number of positive things in your message. First, while you're not necessarily eating just when hungry, it doesn't sound like you were binging. That's good. Even eating less than you normally would have under the same circumstance is a good thing. Second, you recognized that you were eating because of feelings. Recognizing the problem is half the battle. Third, you did take action to address your feelings other than eating, by going to the pool. Those are all awesome. This is a process and none of us are going to be perfect. I'm always guilty of this myself, but it's so easy to focus on the bad and not recognize the good. Try to focus on the positive steps you've made and maybe it will make dealing with all the other " stuff " you've got going on right now, a bit easier. (((((hugs))))))) Josie > > I have been feeling like I am lost the last few days. The holiday weekend > was difficult for me…I felt so distracted (lots of company here) that I lost > my way. I had a rough day yesterday with hearing about how bad the summer > cabin had been left by my parents for my son and his wife's visit there. My > mom is slipping and fading away so quickly now. Several e-mail > conversations with my sister left me feeling so sad and depressed yesterday. > > > > Then, I woke this morning beating myself up for eating as I did yesterday. I > will have to admit, however, that I was pretty aware of what I was doing > with my eating yesterday…aware of trying to numb the feelings. And, in > reality, my eating wasn't all that bad, but I was feeling badly about eating > over feelings. Oh wait…perhaps I need to remember that I am human and it's > ok to feel!!! > > > I am not used to knowing what else to do with my feelings other than eat. I > did kind of force myself to go to the pool for a short while in the > afternoon and that felt really good. But then when I came home, I dreaded > calling my dad to see how mom was and put it off for a couple of hours. And > then ate snacks all night. > > > Today we are going to see my parents and perhaps I will feel a little better > about their situation…or not. Regardless, today I am going to work on > finding ways to deal with my feelings that don't involve food. > > Any suggestions welcome! > > Sue > -- Sue on FritzCheck out my blogs at: http://alifeofbooks.blogspot.com/http://suesresearch.blogspot.com http://suesretirementmusings.blogspot.com/Check out my books on Goodreads: < Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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