Hello! New member from Australia...

Posted July 7, 2010 · July 7, 2010

Hi,

Your welcome email suggested I tell you all a little about myself.

I am SO excited to find a group of people who are interested in this stuff like

me!

I live in Australia with my lovely husband (very supportive) and my two

stunningly wonderful girls, 5 and 7 years. I have my own business and love to be

busy, which is a good thing because I always am.

I have had issues with food forever. I was taught from a very early age that if

I was sad I should eat. I was taught there was 'good' food and 'bad' food.

Hence, all we wanted was all the 'bad' food, the badder the better!!

I have struggled to understand my relationship with food. My weight was never an

issue, always fit and slim as a child. However my first bit of stress as a young

adult sent me into a spin and I gained 25kg in 4 months.

After that I entered the horrible world of dieting. I was relaxed about it for a

while, then after the birth of my second child, plagued with postpartum

depression, I lost 52 kg in 12 months. I can say I was basically anorexic for

that time. I ate one meal a day and was on the weight loss drug Duromine at the

time as well.

Since then it's been the fight of all time. Mainly me loosing (as in, not

loosing). I think my metabolism was so wrecked by the 10 years of torture that

it just gave up!

I was recommended by a dietitian specialising in eating disorders, to give up

dieting. I THOUGHT SHE WAS NUTS!!

BUT, I read the book, after a false start (thinking I'd loose 10kg before I

start only to find 2 years later I was in the same spot! HAHA!) I am now

completely on board.

I am however, struggling. REALLY STRUGGLING! I feel very out of touch and

desperate. I am binging a lot and just eating without thinking. I don't know

why. I end up feeling sick and miserable. It's depressing, if it makes me feel

sick WHY am I still doing it??

I am really hoping that I read some wisdom here that can help me.

I have handed over a lot of these issues to my kids too. We are trying to come

out of this dieting hell together. They are very young, they don't deserve to

have whole food groups banned from the house!

Sorry for ranting and raving so much, just a bit overwhelmed at being anywhere

near people who might understand. I'm surrounded by dieters, even one friend who

has just had her stomach stapled!

I plan to pore over your posts in search of answers!!

Thank you.

Bess.

Posted July 8, 2010 · July 8, 2010

Hi Laurie,

Thanks for your welcome. I'm sorry if I came across like I was complaining!! I

certainly didn't want to. I am struggling at the moment but I feel like the

whole intuitive eating thing is a process and I'm hoping I will use this current

struggle is just teaching me another lesson I didn't get the last time around!!

I think your point about curiosity is s good one. I found a suggestion in

another message thread that was the 15 minute plan on Honoring your health

website. That was very interesting and quite helpful. I am trying to use that

more this week.

I think part of my issue is I like to take action! I'm a doer. That's why

dieting works in the beginning I can DO all kinds of planning and organizing. I

can pick a plan and go through the steps and DO it. Intuitive eating, it seems

to me is more about waiting and watching, which can be hard for a doer like me.

Lastly, as I mentioned in another reply to my first post, I don't think you guys

can give me answers. I do feel that I can find my own answers in seeing how

others see their lives and their experience of this process. I find i gain a lot

from seeing how others are experiencing things that I am, it helps to pull apart

my own thinking.

Thanks for the welcome! I was wondering if I'd get any replies at all!

x Bess

>

> Hi Bess,

>

> Welcome to our group! The answers you're looking for lie somewhere within

yourself; as a chronic dieter I can identify with your hope that SOMEONE ELSE

has the answers--wouldn't that be easy?--but in fact none of us has the answers

you need. The good news is that YOU can find them within yourself. Instead of

being judgmental (which is something all dieters know too well how to do!) try

being curious and gentle with yourself. You grew up being taught to use food to

handle your feelings; you're now thoroughly aware that that's not working, but

then what to do with all those feelings? That's where we all need to get

curious.

>

> Martha Beck suggests in an article last year in Oprah Magazine that everyone

take a vacation from complaining and see what happens--I did that, and let me

tell you, it makes a difference: you suddenly feel that you ought to be *doing*

something to change all those things that bother you, because you no longer have

the escape valve of complaining. Similarly, if you stop overeating and just let

yourself be curious...what would happen if you did that? How would you feel?

What else could you do about those feelings? Just feel them and see what

happens? Do something to make a difference in what's bothering you? Or something

else?

>

> Diets *feel* like quick fixes, but we all know what happens: that quick fix is

a slow slide back to hell. So welcome aboard. I can't say this is easy, but hey,

overeating and feeling miserable and just gaining more and more weight isn't a

walk in the park, either. Like Geneen Roth says, we're already suffering. Might

as well walk through a different kind of suffering to try to make some real,

lasting change.

>

> All best,

> Laurie

>

Posted July 8, 2010 · July 8, 2010