rough day yesterday

[Guest guest]

I have been feeling like I am lost the last

few days.  The holiday weekend was

difficult for me…I felt so distracted (lots of company here) that I lost my

way.  I had a rough day yesterday with

hearing about how bad the summer cabin had been left by my parents for my son

and his wife’s visit there.  My mom is

slipping and fading away so quickly now. 

Several e-mail conversations with my sister left me feeling so sad and

depressed yesterday.  Then, I woke this

morning beating myself up for eating as I did yesterday.  I will have to admit, however, that I was

pretty aware of what I was doing with my eating yesterday…aware of trying to

numb the feelings.  And, in reality, my

eating wasn’t all that bad, but I was feeling badly about eating over feelings.  Oh wait…perhaps I need to remember that I am

human and it’s ok to feel!!!  I am not

used to knowing what else to do with my feelings other than eat.  I did kind of force myself to go to the pool

for a short while in the afternoon and that felt really good.  But then when I came home, I dreaded calling

my dad to see how mom was and put it off for a couple of hours.  And then ate snacks all night.

Today

we are going to see my parents and perhaps I will feel a little better about their

situation…or not.  Regardless, today I am

going to work on finding ways to deal with my feelings that don’t involve food.

Any suggestions welcome!Sue