Guest guest Posted May 5, 2000 Report Share Posted May 5, 2000 my father sent me this.thought you guys would like it. tina 2 Received: from mailsorter-101-7.iap.bryant.webtv.net (209.240.198.41) by storefull-225.iap.bryant.webtv.net with WTV-SMTP; Fri, 5 May 2000 04:22:28 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <Popcom65@...> Received: from imo-d10.mx.aol.com (imo-d10.mx.aol.com [205.188.157.42]) by mailsorter-101-7.iap.bryant.webtv.net (8.8.8-wtv-f/ms.dwm.v7+dul2) with ESMTP id EAA04196 for <ITSJB@...>; Fri, 5 May 2000 04:22:27 -0700 (PDT) From: Popcom65@... Received: from Popcom65@... by imo-d10.mx.aol.com (mail_out_v26.7.) id 2.42.50b910c (9559); Fri, 5 May 2000 07:22:26 -0400 (EDT) Message-ID: <42.50b910c.264408f1@...> Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 07:22:25 EDT Subject: (no subject) ITSJB@..., RTown97985@..., PLCBOWL@..., DarlinLibby@..., Blankgirl0@..., WekKmk@..., ALETALITT@..., Hdmess@..., CNCHAG@..., Dojeno@..., Wrench250@..., victoria.m.hale@... MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset= " US-ASCII " Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: AOL 5.0 for Windows sub 105 > > > > > > > > A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding > > > > > car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded > > > > > to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! > > > > > Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, > > > > > the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn > > > > > and yelled, " PULLOVER! " > > > > > " NO, " the blonde yelled back, " IT'S A SCARF! " > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > > > > > > > The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his > > > > > company. He wanted to find out something about her personality, > > > > > so he asked, " If you could have a conversation with someone, living > > > > > or dead, who would it be? " > > > > > The blonde quickly responded, " The living one. " > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. > > > > > The Russian said, " We were the first in space! " > > > > > The American said, " We were the first on the moon! " > > > > > The Blonde said, " So what, we're going to be the first on the sun! " > > > > > The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook > > > > > their heads. " You can't land on the sun, you idiot! you'll burn up! " > > > > > said the Russian. > > > > > To which the Blonde replied, " We're not stupid, you > > > > > know. We're going at night. > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > Two blondes, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street. > > > > > Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to > > > > > pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, > > > > > " Hmmm, this person looks familiar. " > > > > > Patty said, " Let me look! " So, Carol handed her the compact. > > > > > Patty looked in the mirror and said, " You dummy, it's me! " > > > > > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > A police officer stops a blond for speeding and asks her very nicely > > > > > if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, " I wish you guys > > > > > would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my > > > > > license and then today you expect me to show it to you! " > > > > > > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. > > > > > She rolled the dice and she landed on " Science & Nature. " > > > > > Her question was, " If you are in a vacuum and someone > > > > > calls your name, can you hear it? " > > > > > She thought for a time and then asked, " Is it on or off? " > > > > > > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > The blonde reported for her university final examination which > > > > > consists of " yes/no " questions. She takes her seat in the > examination > > > > > hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a > > > > > fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts > > > > > tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet -Yes for heads > > > > > and No for Tails. > > > > > Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is > > > > > sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen > desperately > > > > > throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, > > > > > approaches her and asks what is going on. " I finished the exam in > > > > > half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers. " > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde > > > > > stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in > > > > > another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the > > > > > stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop > > > > > and stay overnight. > > > > > The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for > > > > > the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. > > > > > He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called > > > > > her up wondering what happened to her. She answered > > > > > the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room. > > > > > " You can't get out of your room? " the captain asked, " Why not? " > > > > > The stewardess replied, " There are only three doors in here, " > > > > > she cried, " one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has > > > > > a sign on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb'! " > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > Q. How do you measure a blonde's I.Q.? > > > > > A. With a tire gauge. > > > > > > > > > > Q. There are three girls, all in grade 3: one a brunette, one > > > > > a redhead, and one a blonde. Which one of them has > > > > > the best body? > > > > > A. The blonde, because she's 19 years old. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2008 Report Share Posted July 31, 2008 ASTRONOMY Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????" Car Trouble A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" Speeding Ticket A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" Knitting A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" In A Vaccum A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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