book dialogue begins!

July 11, 2010

If anyone has any thoughts on the book, please share!

Here's some questions to get us going, and please answer any that

call you and skip those you don't wish to answer. This is to help us

all learn from each other in a safe comfortable space!

1. Any questions or comments on the Foreward?

I loved the comment that it's ironic that with the massive failure

rate for dieting, we don't blame the process of dieting itself!!!

2. Are you approaching Intuitive Eating with an attitude that " this

is dieting " ? (I have to check-in with myself about this, so thought

maybe I'd put it out there.)

3. How do you feel about shunning dieting and hailing body acceptance???

Chapter One: Hitting Diet Bottom

I'm going to omit my answers to give others a chance to respond.

1. What is your " diet bottom " ? Would you like to share about your

dieting history?

2. Do you believe that diets don't work?

3. How does " Diet Backlash " manifest for you, or how has it in the past?

4. Do you have any " food police " in your life? Who?

5. From whom or what media does the pressure to diet manifest, and

how do you react to this? What do you do, if anything, to avoid

being around diet-mania?

6. Did you look to any eating plans that swore they were " not diets "

in order to find peace, later realizing that they too were diets

indeed? How did that work for you?

7. Any other questions or comments on chapter one?

Thanks all! Lots to share about, and hopefully this will spark some

great discussions!!!

Cheers,

July 13, 2010

These are great questions, . Thanks for getting us started!

-

> 1. Any questions or comments on the Foreward?

>

> I loved the comment that it's ironic that with the massive failure

> rate for dieting, we don't blame the process of dieting itself!!!

>

It is ironic, and yet, I think that because, as the authors discuss, most of us

are able to lose on diets, it's easy to blame ourselves for failure. For some

of us, the losing is the hard part. I know for me, that I'm in a place where I

rebel so much that I have a hard time even getting that initial loss, now. But

that wasn't always the case and isn't the case for many people. Before, I could

lose if I really worked at it. And the fact that I saw that I could lose made

it easy to blame myself when I didn't lose as much as I wanted or when I

regained. Because, clearly, the diet actually worked. It was the maintenance

part that was hard, so it's easy to see the inability to maintain the loss I

worked so hard to achieve as my fault.

I've said more than once that I actually don't like the diets don't work because

only 5-10% of people keep the weight off statistic, because in some ways, that

statistic seems misleading to me. Because the diet worked, the problem is that

we go back to the habits that made us fat to begin with. So what we really

should be asking ourselves is what is it that's preventing us from sustaining

the habits that first made us thin(ner)? And when I ask myself that and I

realize two things: (1) that I always expected, over the course of a diet, that

my tastes and desires and appetites would magically change and all of a sudden

I'd be perfectly content to dine on plates of plain steamed vegetables. How

crazy is that? And (2) that if my tastes don't magically change, without an IE

approach, the only way to sustain a loss is to white knuckle it through feelings

of deprivation for the rest of my life. Put that way, dieting starts to sound a

lot more like something that I'm unlikely to be able to do long term and

something that I feel less guilty about admitting.

> 2. Are you approaching Intuitive Eating with an attitude that " this

> is dieting " ?

This is a tough one. I'd say yes and no. I am, in the sense, that my goal is

to lose weight and I hope that following IE will help me do that. In the sense

that you diet when you want to lose weight, I guess you could say that I'm

approaching it as a diet.

But no in the sense that I really do believe that this is just a natural process

and way of eating and from that standpoint, it's not a diet, it's just what

people who haven't been screwed up or warped by society (as least as far as food

is concerned) do. Luckily, my mother is, by and large, an intuitive eater, so I

grew up understanding how people eat and stay thin without the slightest bit of

thought or effort. I apparently just didn't learn that skill and allowed too

many diet " experts " to convince me that I couldn't trust my body's own signals

to reach a healthy weight.

> 3. How do you feel about shunning dieting and hailing body acceptance???

>

Mostly, I feel great about shunning dieting, though I'd be lying if I said I

wasn't nervous about it and didn't worry that I will gain. The body acceptance

thing, oooooh, that's a *really* hard one for me. One of the hardest things. I

just *don't* like my body at this size and acceptance seems like a lot to ask.

I feel like I can make peace with it if I'm seeing that IE is helping me get

closer to my goal, even if the pace is very slow. But if I thought that I would

never lose weight and I had to stay at this size forever, I'm not sure I could

handle that.

> Chapter One: Hitting Diet Bottom

>

> 1. What is your " diet bottom " ? Would you like to share about your

> dieting history?

>

There's not enough bandwidth in the world to share all of my dieting history.

Let's just say I've done and failed at just about every diet there is. There

was a time in my life when I would have eagerly gotten gastric bypass. But at

that time, I didn't have health insurance and in any event, I think I would have

been a borderline case in terms of qualifying. By the time I did have

insurance, I was at a place in my life where I felt there were more risks

associated with gastric bypass than it was worth and that there was no reason I

shouldn't be able to just lose the weight, if I really worked at it.

I think I recounted my diet bottom story in one of my first e-mails to the

group. It was right before I re-discovered IE. I was contemplating putting a

big dent in my savings account to go to The Biggest Loser " fitness ranch " in

Utah. Even though I despise that show and everything it stands for, I was

willing to shell out my hard earned cash to be starved and forced to work out

for six hours a day because I thought that was the only way I was ever going to

be able to lose weight.

> 2. Do you believe that diets don't work?

>

I think, by and large, I answered that above. But just to add to that, I think

that statement is too extreme. If you believe the 5-10% statistic, clearly they

do *work*, but only for a small percentage of the population.

But, I guess I would say that I also wonder about motivating factors and whether

that would make a difference. For example, I work with a woman who was recently

diagnosed with Celiac Disease, so she can no longer eat foods containing gluten

or she's doubled over in excruciating pain and could permanently damage her

stomach. You better believe that she now excludes those foods from her diet, no

matter how much she may want them. Though it's not true of everyone, given that

there are many people who have heart disease but never change their diets or who

develop cancer but still smoke, in extreme situations, most of us have the

ability to make and stick to drastic dietary changes. I've often wondered if I

developed a serious illness, if I would have been able to successfully diet. My

father was overweight all his life, but lost 80 pounds when he developed type 2

diabetes. So far, he's kept it off, but whether he will permanently, remains to

be seen. I guess this is just another way that I still can see why I blame

myself for my dieting failures, because I have seen instances where people

successfully dieted or drastically changed their diet, and lost a significant

amount of weight and kept it off. (whether they're happy or not, I think is an

entirely different question!)

> 3. How does " Diet Backlash " manifest for you, or how has it in the past?

>

For me, it's just extreme rebellion. It doesn't matter what the diet is,

whatever you restrict me from eating, is what I want to eat in large quantities.

I think if I decided to follow a diet that said I couldn't eat steamed broccoli,

I'd have unbearable cravings for broccoli!

> 4. Do you have any " food police " in your life? Who?

>

I'm definitely food police for myself. I'd say another is my personal trainer.

When I first started working with her and I told her I wanted to lose weight,

she had me keeping a food journal that she'd evaluate each week at our sessions.

I'll never forget that one of the first times I gave her my journal, I was so

proud of myself because I'd stayed in my calorie range all week and had worked

really hard to eat plenty of fruits and veggies and drink water and all the

other stuff you're supposed to do. One morning, for breakfast, I'd made myself

some whole grain pancakes. They were really healthy, low fat, and full of

fiber. On top of the pancakes, I had put two very carefully and precisely

measured tablespoons of maple syrup and the tiniest sliver of butter. Yes, it

was a little splurge, but I had otherwise eaten " perfectly " the rest of the day.

When my trainer saw the journal for that day she literally gasped out loud (I

actually chuckle now when I think of it!). She was appalled that I had *both*

butter *and* maple syrup on my pancakes! It didn't matter that they were full

of fiber or that I'd choked down all kinds of fruits and veggies that day or

that I was perfectly within my calorie range for the day. Al that she could

focus on was the horror of having butter and maple syrup because it was too much

fat and sugar. I pretty much stopped sharing my food journals with her after

that, because even at the height of my diet craziness, I didn't believe I had to

be *that* restrictive. But I still feel guilty talking about food with her,

because I know that this is her opinion and that she must think I have a

terrible diet.

> 5. From whom or what media does the pressure to diet manifest, and

> how do you react to this? What do you do, if anything, to avoid

> being around diet-mania?

>

It might be easier to ask what media *doesn't* put pressure on us to diet and be

thin! I'm greatly affected by this because I'm definitely one of those kids

that grew up in front of the tv. I love tv, movies, internet, and magazines,

all forms of media, really. And because I'm so exposed to it, I'm constantly

getting the message that I'm not attractive and not healthy. I really

internalize that. It's hard. I'm trying to avoid it now. I talked about how

I'm going to stop buying magazines, but short of moving to a desert island or

going off the grid, I don't know how you avoid those messages in the real world.

I feel like it's something that I'm just going to have to learn to disregard or

tune out, because it's not going to go away.

> 6. Did you look to any eating plans that swore they were " not diets "

> in order to find peace, later realizing that they too were diets

> indeed? How did that work for you?

>

I dabbled in vegetarianism and veganism for a while, and even contemplated

trying a raw foods eating plan once (but that was just way too extreme)! I

think that vegetarianism and veganism are perfectly fine ways to eat and I'm

from California, so it's fairly easy to find great vegetarian restaurants that I

truly enjoy. But if I'm really honest, I wasn't really interested in saving

poor, harmless animals, when I dabbled in those. I was hoping that if I stopped

eating animal products I would lose weight.

> 7. Any other questions or comments on chapter one?

>

I'm pretty sure I've rambled on long enough! LOL I'll leave it to others now.

Josie

July 14, 2010

I've already enjoyed reading what other have thought of the first chapter.

Here's my thoughts...

>

> If anyone has any thoughts on the book, please share!

>

> Here's some questions to get us going, and please answer any that

> call you and skip those you don't wish to answer. This is to help us

> all learn from each other in a safe comfortable space!

>

> 1. Any questions or comments on the Foreward?

>

> I loved the comment that it's ironic that with the massive failure

> rate for dieting, we don't blame the process of dieting itself!!!

>

> 2. Are you approaching Intuitive Eating with an attitude that " this

> is dieting " ?

I never used the term dieting that often for myself, even though it is what I

was doing. What I do have a hard time giving up is the " Tomorrow I'll be

better, and today I'll pig out " part of dieting. I've found myself thinking,

" Tomorrow I'll start over with Inuitive Eating... "

> 3. How do you feel about shunning dieting and hailing body acceptance???

I very much want to like myself now and be okay with who I am and where I am at.

I've spent enough time in my life hating myself, and I think I finally am

starting to like being me.

> Chapter One: Hitting Diet Bottom

>

> I'm going to omit my answers to give others a chance to respond.

>

> 1. What is your " diet bottom " ? Would you like to share about your

> dieting history?

I've probably gained and lost 20-40lbs over and over from age 13 and I'm now 31.

As a teen, I hated myself for numerous reasons, but not being thin enough was

the biggest. I berrated myself for not being a better anorexic and my attempts

at induced vomiting never worked all that well. My friend in highschool started

giving me packs of laxatives, and so I must admit that using laxatives to

justify bingeing is a habit that has stuck with me. I know that they can't

really prevent the calories from being absorbed, but it is a mentally freeing

thing regardless. I would like to think that IE would become a habit that will

replace that one.

So diet bottom for me was probably a few months ago. I've been separated and

going through divorce being a single mom now and all that nightmare for over a

year. My cycle this past year had been to try to eat less than 1000 calories a

day and to reward myself with putting money aside for new clothes. I actually

would put X's on the calendar on the days I did and the days I exercised and

gave myself $2 an X each month. (Kinda weird now that I think about it.)

Course that didn't work. I would inevitably starve a few days and then lose

control at night and then eat 2,000 calories in front of the tv. Then I started

putting -X's on my calendar and subtracting money. Some months I was in the

red! Since I didn't have a husband anymore to hide my laxative habit from, that

was starting to get out of control as well. One night I was binging on anything

I could get my hands on and thought to myself " I just can't get full! " Then I

couldn't muster the will power to keep drinking Slim Fast shakes and having just

a Lean Cuisine, and I was just on a non stop bingefest.

That's when I started researching online and first read the book, " French Toast

for Breakfast " which is alot about emotional eating and making peace with food.

She talked about Conscious Eating and that led me to find the Inuitive Eating

book. It's been a freeing process for me so far, and I absolutely don't want to

go back to my X calendar system. I know I have alot to learn and alot of bad

habits to break, but I really think I'd rather accept myself at a higher weight

than continue to torture myself.

One last thing about my story - I thought I was depressed about my failed

marriage, but I think I was more depressed about my food issues that was making

me feel worse about everything else in my life. Since starting this process of

IE, I am freer, more at peace, more confident, and even a little bit excited for

my divorce to be final.

sorry that was so long!

> 2. Do you believe that diets don't work?

>

> 3. How does " Diet Backlash " manifest for you, or how has it in the past?

I've always been the queen of " Last Supper " not just a meal, but an entire

weekend of eating bad - or in the case of December - the entire month!

> 4. Do you have any " food police " in your life? Who?

Myself. The people in my life would have no idea the extent of my food

obsession. I eat very moderately with other people.

> 5. From whom or what media does the pressure to diet manifest, and

> how do you react to this? What do you do, if anything, to avoid

> being around diet-mania?

This is a great question, and I think I really should try to avoid some things.

All this has made me skeptical of advertisements tho. I just heard a radio ad

for a weight loss shake and laughed out loud when they said " Although our

smoothies taste like candy, you will lose weight! "

> 6. Did you look to any eating plans that swore they were " not diets "

> in order to find peace, later realizing that they too were diets

> indeed? How did that work for you?

Absolutely, I always told myself I was just eating healthy, not dieting, but the

restriction always leads to bingeing.

>

> 7. Any other questions or comments on chapter one?

>

> Thanks all! Lots to share about, and hopefully this will spark some

> great discussions!!!

>

> Cheers,

>

July 14, 2010