Re: true physical hunger vs. 'satisfied' sensations AND INTRO

[Guest guest]

This thread is exactly what I need. I joined about a week ago and haven't had

the nerve to post. I've been struggling with this for a while. I always think,

" I used to be thin " " I used to not be so worried about food... " " I used to... "

I think, for me, we went from being poor to owning a business and because we

don't spend money on cars and houses and things like that, we spend our money on

good food. I love to cook. It's like art...Sounds silly I suppose, but it's

true for me.

I skip meals because I'm not hungry and then when dinner time comes I am

definitely hungry but then overeat because I have the mentality of " I haven't

eaten all day " .

My weight is the focus of everything I do. I weigh myself at least once, but

sometimes 2-3 times a day. I had someone tell me I really should exercise and

it's been downhill from there. I gained 10lbs since then. I weight 170ish, but

was up to 180. (gee, is this too much info--I don't even know you guys?)

I joined this group to get help, support...To be honest, I'm scared...maybe

scared isn't the right word. I really need someone to help me to do this. I

wonder if there is some way to have more accountability?

I'm reading Thin Within. On day 5...

Becca

[Guest guest]

This thread is exactly what I need. I joined about a week ago and haven't had

the nerve to post. I've been struggling with this for a while. I always think,

" I used to be thin " " I used to not be so worried about food... " " I used to... "

I think, for me, we went from being poor to owning a business and because we

don't spend money on cars and houses and things like that, we spend our money on

good food. I love to cook. It's like art...Sounds silly I suppose, but it's

true for me.

I skip meals because I'm not hungry and then when dinner time comes I am

definitely hungry but then overeat because I have the mentality of " I haven't

eaten all day " .

My weight is the focus of everything I do. I weigh myself at least once, but

sometimes 2-3 times a day. I had someone tell me I really should exercise and

it's been downhill from there. I gained 10lbs since then. I weight 170ish, but

was up to 180. (gee, is this too much info--I don't even know you guys?)

I joined this group to get help, support...To be honest, I'm scared...maybe

scared isn't the right word. I really need someone to help me to do this. I

wonder if there is some way to have more accountability?

I'm reading Thin Within. On day 5...

Becca

[Guest guest]

This thread is exactly what I need. I joined about a week ago and haven't had

the nerve to post. I've been struggling with this for a while. I always think,

" I used to be thin " " I used to not be so worried about food... " " I used to... "

I think, for me, we went from being poor to owning a business and because we

don't spend money on cars and houses and things like that, we spend our money on

good food. I love to cook. It's like art...Sounds silly I suppose, but it's

true for me.

I skip meals because I'm not hungry and then when dinner time comes I am

definitely hungry but then overeat because I have the mentality of " I haven't

eaten all day " .

My weight is the focus of everything I do. I weigh myself at least once, but

sometimes 2-3 times a day. I had someone tell me I really should exercise and

it's been downhill from there. I gained 10lbs since then. I weight 170ish, but

was up to 180. (gee, is this too much info--I don't even know you guys?)

I joined this group to get help, support...To be honest, I'm scared...maybe

scared isn't the right word. I really need someone to help me to do this. I

wonder if there is some way to have more accountability?

I'm reading Thin Within. On day 5...

Becca

[Guest guest]

WELCOME, Becca! I can relate to spending money on food, rather than cars or

houses. My husband's parents were middle aged when he was born. They struggled

to survive during the Great Depression of the 30s. So thriftiness and food was a

big deal to them. Likewise my husband is very thrifty in many ways, but never

discourages me from buying anything I want.

I used to hate cooking, because I hated how I felt after I ate, until I was

diagnosed with celiac disease and 7 food allergies. After my diagnoses, I

learned what foods felt good in my body. Then I began to love preparing gourmet

meals. We also grow fruits and vegies in our garden. I enjoy preparing food

from our homegrown produce. So I don't think love of cooking per see can make

people gain weight.

However, your comment about skipping meals and then eating a larger (?) dinner

makes me wonder whether eating tiny meals (breakfast and lunch) during the day

would prevent you from feeling so hungry and 'entitled' to overeat at night. My

husband used to skip meals during the day, because he wanted to control his

weight. Then he would eat a large dinner followed by snacks after dinner,

because he had not eaten all day. When he started eating a small breakfast and

another snack several hours, he needed less dinner and more easily resisted

eating after dinner. He lost 10 pounds since he made those changes, without

changing what he ate or exercising more.

I also read ThinWithin and led a local ThinWithin Support Group. TW (and Weigh

Down) convinced me to fully embrace intuitive eating. TW emphasized eating only

when hungry and stopping when full foods that felt good in my body as well as

tasted good in my mouth. Do you particiate in the TW online forum? Many members

of that group post daily accountability entries in the 'journal' section.

However, if you relate more closely to members of this board, feel free to email

any of us with questions which would help you do IE. You could also just post

your questions online. Above all, I suggest you read the " Intuitive Eating "

book by Tribole and Resch, if you have not already read it, after you finish

reading the ThinWithin book. The TW book can answer many of your IE questions,

especially from a Christian perspective.

SUE

>

>

>

> This thread is exactly what I need. I joined about a week ago and haven't had

the nerve to post. I've been struggling with this for a while. I always think,

" I used to be thin " " I used to not be so worried about food... " " I used to... "

>

> I think, for me, we went from being poor to owning a business and because we

don't spend money on cars and houses and things like that, we spend our money on

good food. I love to cook. It's like art...Sounds silly I suppose, but it's

true for me.

>

> I skip meals because I'm not hungry and then when dinner time comes I am

definitely hungry but then overeat because I have the mentality of " I haven't

eaten all day " .

>

> My weight is the focus of everything I do. I weigh myself at least once, but

sometimes 2-3 times a day. I had someone tell me I really should exercise and

it's been downhill from there. I gained 10lbs since then. I weight 170ish, but

was up to 180. (gee, is this too much info--I don't even know you guys?)

>

> I joined this group to get help, support...To be honest, I'm scared...maybe

scared isn't the right word. I really need someone to help me to do this. I

wonder if there is some way to have more accountability?

>

> I'm reading Thin Within. On day 5...

>

> Becca

>

[Guest guest]

WELCOME, Becca! I can relate to spending money on food, rather than cars or

houses. My husband's parents were middle aged when he was born. They struggled

to survive during the Great Depression of the 30s. So thriftiness and food was a

big deal to them. Likewise my husband is very thrifty in many ways, but never

discourages me from buying anything I want.

I used to hate cooking, because I hated how I felt after I ate, until I was

diagnosed with celiac disease and 7 food allergies. After my diagnoses, I

learned what foods felt good in my body. Then I began to love preparing gourmet

meals. We also grow fruits and vegies in our garden. I enjoy preparing food

from our homegrown produce. So I don't think love of cooking per see can make

people gain weight.

However, your comment about skipping meals and then eating a larger (?) dinner

makes me wonder whether eating tiny meals (breakfast and lunch) during the day

would prevent you from feeling so hungry and 'entitled' to overeat at night. My

husband used to skip meals during the day, because he wanted to control his

weight. Then he would eat a large dinner followed by snacks after dinner,

because he had not eaten all day. When he started eating a small breakfast and

another snack several hours, he needed less dinner and more easily resisted

eating after dinner. He lost 10 pounds since he made those changes, without

changing what he ate or exercising more.

I also read ThinWithin and led a local ThinWithin Support Group. TW (and Weigh

Down) convinced me to fully embrace intuitive eating. TW emphasized eating only

when hungry and stopping when full foods that felt good in my body as well as

tasted good in my mouth. Do you particiate in the TW online forum? Many members

of that group post daily accountability entries in the 'journal' section.

However, if you relate more closely to members of this board, feel free to email

any of us with questions which would help you do IE. You could also just post

your questions online. Above all, I suggest you read the " Intuitive Eating "

book by Tribole and Resch, if you have not already read it, after you finish

reading the ThinWithin book. The TW book can answer many of your IE questions,

especially from a Christian perspective.

SUE

>

>

>

> This thread is exactly what I need. I joined about a week ago and haven't had

the nerve to post. I've been struggling with this for a while. I always think,

" I used to be thin " " I used to not be so worried about food... " " I used to... "

>

> I think, for me, we went from being poor to owning a business and because we

don't spend money on cars and houses and things like that, we spend our money on

good food. I love to cook. It's like art...Sounds silly I suppose, but it's

true for me.

>

> I skip meals because I'm not hungry and then when dinner time comes I am

definitely hungry but then overeat because I have the mentality of " I haven't

eaten all day " .

>

> My weight is the focus of everything I do. I weigh myself at least once, but

sometimes 2-3 times a day. I had someone tell me I really should exercise and

it's been downhill from there. I gained 10lbs since then. I weight 170ish, but

was up to 180. (gee, is this too much info--I don't even know you guys?)

>

> I joined this group to get help, support...To be honest, I'm scared...maybe

scared isn't the right word. I really need someone to help me to do this. I

wonder if there is some way to have more accountability?

>

> I'm reading Thin Within. On day 5...

>

> Becca

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sue, for making me feel at home.

I did sign up for the TW boards a coyuple weeks ago and was waiting for

approval. I just went back and I see that I got approved. mAybe I deleted the

confirmation as spam... Their format is a little daunting, but I will consider

jumping in!

I have been trying to eat breakfast and lunch, but to be honest, I'm not really

hungry until mid-afternoon. So, if I eat then, I'm not really hungry at dinner

but eat anyway because everyone else is...I think I will try to have

somethinglight in the morning and see what happens. I don't have a problem of

eating when I am not hungery, but more of an issue of stopping when I am no

longer hungry.

It's like I know what I should do but just don't do it. i know when I am eating

dinner when I am full,but just eat a full plate anyway.

Yesterday, my hubby didn't come home at dinner--he got home late--so I ate

without him. I ate 2 bites of my dinner and really just didn't want anymore (I

had had some chips and salsa earlier) so I wrapped it up and put it in the

fridge. Had my hubby been home, I would've eaten the full plate...maybe even

seconds. Why do I do that?

Sorry if jump around. i tend to just type my thoughts as they come and not

worry about how properly packaged they are! lol

Becca

>

> WELCOME, Becca! I can relate to spending money on food, rather than cars or

houses. My husband's parents were middle aged when he was born. They struggled

to survive during the Great Depression of the

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sue, for making me feel at home.

I did sign up for the TW boards a coyuple weeks ago and was waiting for

approval. I just went back and I see that I got approved. mAybe I deleted the

confirmation as spam... Their format is a little daunting, but I will consider

jumping in!

I have been trying to eat breakfast and lunch, but to be honest, I'm not really

hungry until mid-afternoon. So, if I eat then, I'm not really hungry at dinner

but eat anyway because everyone else is...I think I will try to have

somethinglight in the morning and see what happens. I don't have a problem of

eating when I am not hungery, but more of an issue of stopping when I am no

longer hungry.

It's like I know what I should do but just don't do it. i know when I am eating

dinner when I am full,but just eat a full plate anyway.

Yesterday, my hubby didn't come home at dinner--he got home late--so I ate

without him. I ate 2 bites of my dinner and really just didn't want anymore (I

had had some chips and salsa earlier) so I wrapped it up and put it in the

fridge. Had my hubby been home, I would've eaten the full plate...maybe even

seconds. Why do I do that?

Sorry if jump around. i tend to just type my thoughts as they come and not

worry about how properly packaged they are! lol

Becca

>

> WELCOME, Becca! I can relate to spending money on food, rather than cars or

houses. My husband's parents were middle aged when he was born. They struggled

to survive during the Great Depression of the

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sue, for making me feel at home.

I did sign up for the TW boards a coyuple weeks ago and was waiting for

approval. I just went back and I see that I got approved. mAybe I deleted the

confirmation as spam... Their format is a little daunting, but I will consider

jumping in!

I have been trying to eat breakfast and lunch, but to be honest, I'm not really

hungry until mid-afternoon. So, if I eat then, I'm not really hungry at dinner

but eat anyway because everyone else is...I think I will try to have

somethinglight in the morning and see what happens. I don't have a problem of

eating when I am not hungery, but more of an issue of stopping when I am no

longer hungry.

It's like I know what I should do but just don't do it. i know when I am eating

dinner when I am full,but just eat a full plate anyway.

Yesterday, my hubby didn't come home at dinner--he got home late--so I ate

without him. I ate 2 bites of my dinner and really just didn't want anymore (I

had had some chips and salsa earlier) so I wrapped it up and put it in the

fridge. Had my hubby been home, I would've eaten the full plate...maybe even

seconds. Why do I do that?

Sorry if jump around. i tend to just type my thoughts as they come and not

worry about how properly packaged they are! lol

Becca

>

> WELCOME, Becca! I can relate to spending money on food, rather than cars or

houses. My husband's parents were middle aged when he was born. They struggled

to survive during the Great Depression of the

[Guest guest]

Hi Becca:

If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not feel

hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight hunger

during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you want to

stop overeating at dinner, you need to experience some kind of reinforcement for

eating less. There's nothing inherently wrong with eating only dinner, unless

you feel too uncomfortably full when you only eat one meal. You mentioned that

you get hungry in mid afternoon. Do you often eat then and not feel hungry for

dinner? Could you plan a light snack during the midafternoon, so that you will

be hungry again at dinnertime?

I used to overeat with my husband at night, because I got distracted by

conversation or didn't focus on eating or how my body felt while we talked. Then

I realized I served myself a greater volume of food at dinner than I served

myself at either breakfast or lunch. Then I was too distracted by conversation

to really enjoy the food. So I kept eating past full looking for 'satisfaction'

which I missed while I was mindlessly eating and talking.

Now, while I'm still learning to listen to my stomach during dinners with my

husband, I serve myself smaller portions. However, I also let myself have more

food, if I'm still hungry after finishing those smaller portions. Nevertheless,

I also eat breakfast and lunch very slowly without distractions. So I can

'practice' listening to my stomach's 'fullness' cues at least once a day, while

I'm learning to recognize and stop when I sense comfortable fullness.

I don't know how other readers react to your posts, but I don't mind your

'jumping around' and just typing your thoughts. That's how I sort out my

thoughts on my blog and sometimes in posts on this board.

SUE

>

>

> Thanks Sue, for making me feel at home.

>

> I did sign up for the TW boards a coyuple weeks ago and was waiting for

approval. I just went back and I see that I got approved. mAybe I deleted the

confirmation as spam... Their format is a little daunting, but I will consider

jumping in!

>

> I have been trying to eat breakfast and lunch, but to be honest, I'm not

really hungry until mid-afternoon. So, if I eat then, I'm not really hungry at

dinner but eat anyway because everyone else is...I think I will try to have

somethinglight in the morning and see what happens. I don't have a problem of

eating when I am not hungery, but more of an issue of stopping when I am no

longer hungry.

>

> It's like I know what I should do but just don't do it. i know when I am

eating dinner when I am full,but just eat a full plate anyway.

>

> Yesterday, my hubby didn't come home at dinner--he got home late--so I ate

without him. I ate 2 bites of my dinner and really just didn't want anymore (I

had had some chips and salsa earlier) so I wrapped it up and put it in the

fridge. Had my hubby been home, I would've eaten the full plate...maybe even

seconds. Why do I do that?

>

> Sorry if jump around. i tend to just type my thoughts as they come and not

worry about how properly packaged they are! lol

>

> Becca

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Becca:

If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not feel

hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight hunger

during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you want to

stop overeating at dinner, you need to experience some kind of reinforcement for

eating less. There's nothing inherently wrong with eating only dinner, unless

you feel too uncomfortably full when you only eat one meal. You mentioned that

you get hungry in mid afternoon. Do you often eat then and not feel hungry for

dinner? Could you plan a light snack during the midafternoon, so that you will

be hungry again at dinnertime?

I used to overeat with my husband at night, because I got distracted by

conversation or didn't focus on eating or how my body felt while we talked. Then

I realized I served myself a greater volume of food at dinner than I served

myself at either breakfast or lunch. Then I was too distracted by conversation

to really enjoy the food. So I kept eating past full looking for 'satisfaction'

which I missed while I was mindlessly eating and talking.

Now, while I'm still learning to listen to my stomach during dinners with my

husband, I serve myself smaller portions. However, I also let myself have more

food, if I'm still hungry after finishing those smaller portions. Nevertheless,

I also eat breakfast and lunch very slowly without distractions. So I can

'practice' listening to my stomach's 'fullness' cues at least once a day, while

I'm learning to recognize and stop when I sense comfortable fullness.

I don't know how other readers react to your posts, but I don't mind your

'jumping around' and just typing your thoughts. That's how I sort out my

thoughts on my blog and sometimes in posts on this board.

SUE

>

>

> Thanks Sue, for making me feel at home.

>

> I did sign up for the TW boards a coyuple weeks ago and was waiting for

approval. I just went back and I see that I got approved. mAybe I deleted the

confirmation as spam... Their format is a little daunting, but I will consider

jumping in!

>

> I have been trying to eat breakfast and lunch, but to be honest, I'm not

really hungry until mid-afternoon. So, if I eat then, I'm not really hungry at

dinner but eat anyway because everyone else is...I think I will try to have

somethinglight in the morning and see what happens. I don't have a problem of

eating when I am not hungery, but more of an issue of stopping when I am no

longer hungry.

>

> It's like I know what I should do but just don't do it. i know when I am

eating dinner when I am full,but just eat a full plate anyway.

>

> Yesterday, my hubby didn't come home at dinner--he got home late--so I ate

without him. I ate 2 bites of my dinner and really just didn't want anymore (I

had had some chips and salsa earlier) so I wrapped it up and put it in the

fridge. Had my hubby been home, I would've eaten the full plate...maybe even

seconds. Why do I do that?

>

> Sorry if jump around. i tend to just type my thoughts as they come and not

worry about how properly packaged they are! lol

>

> Becca

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as

starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I

shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it

until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check

my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having,

but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't find

anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they have

a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by

dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it

all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would say

something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but he

didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel pressured

to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I think

is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just my

stomach digesting my toast...

The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat LATE.

We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late. He'll say

he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but he calls

and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later, he'll call

and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm irritated and cook

dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at 9pm...not good

either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing this is really

helping me see my issues)

I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library

have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that because

I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain weight.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can.

Becca

>

> Hi Becca:

> If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not

feel hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight

hunger during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you

want to stop overeating at dinner, you need...>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as

starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I

shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it

until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check

my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having,

but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't find

anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they have

a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by

dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it

all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would say

something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but he

didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel pressured

to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I think

is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just my

stomach digesting my toast...

The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat LATE.

We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late. He'll say

he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but he calls

and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later, he'll call

and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm irritated and cook

dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at 9pm...not good

either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing this is really

helping me see my issues)

I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library

have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that because

I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain weight.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can.

Becca

>

> Hi Becca:

> If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not

feel hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight

hunger during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you

want to stop overeating at dinner, you need...>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as

starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I

shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it

until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check

my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having,

but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't find

anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they have

a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by

dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it

all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would say

something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but he

didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel pressured

to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I think

is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just my

stomach digesting my toast...

The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat LATE.

We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late. He'll say

he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but he calls

and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later, he'll call

and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm irritated and cook

dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at 9pm...not good

either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing this is really

helping me see my issues)

I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library

have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that because

I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain weight.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can.

Becca

>

> Hi Becca:

> If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not

feel hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight

hunger during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you

want to stop overeating at dinner, you need...>

[Guest guest]

Becca,Well, one step at a time.It'd definitely possible that you could gain weight, though you may not, because you have damaged your metabolism by dieting/skipping meals. But it sounds like you have a reason you dont want to keep skipping meals and dieting... so what would be the positive sides of trying this out? but i dont think the weight gain needs to be permanent. but it helped me to be prepared for some inevitable weight gain. not because of IE, but because of my body reacting to the deprivation that came before IE.

As for your husband... perhaps you already figured this out by typing it all out... but maybe you could plan dinner for the time that works best for you and your kids? because i think if you are frustrated and resentful (not saying THAT you, just IF you are) that may be impacting your eating as well. and if you are overhungry, that doesnt help either. and the kids are probably not any easier to be around if they are overhungry and tired. and then you could sit with your husband and just keep him company and whatever time he gets home while HE eats? he might also be happier to not have pressure about rushing home, and feeling guilty that he's not doing a better job in doing so?

Good luck,Abby

 

Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having, but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't find anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they have a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would say something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but he didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel pressured to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I think is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just my stomach digesting my toast...

The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat LATE. We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late. He'll say he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but he calls and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later, he'll call and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm irritated and cook dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at 9pm...not good either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing this is really helping me see my issues)

I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that because I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain weight.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can.

Becca

>

> Hi Becca:

> If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not feel hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight hunger during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you want to stop overeating at dinner, you need...>

[Guest guest]

Becca,Well, one step at a time.It'd definitely possible that you could gain weight, though you may not, because you have damaged your metabolism by dieting/skipping meals. But it sounds like you have a reason you dont want to keep skipping meals and dieting... so what would be the positive sides of trying this out? but i dont think the weight gain needs to be permanent. but it helped me to be prepared for some inevitable weight gain. not because of IE, but because of my body reacting to the deprivation that came before IE.

As for your husband... perhaps you already figured this out by typing it all out... but maybe you could plan dinner for the time that works best for you and your kids? because i think if you are frustrated and resentful (not saying THAT you, just IF you are) that may be impacting your eating as well. and if you are overhungry, that doesnt help either. and the kids are probably not any easier to be around if they are overhungry and tired. and then you could sit with your husband and just keep him company and whatever time he gets home while HE eats? he might also be happier to not have pressure about rushing home, and feeling guilty that he's not doing a better job in doing so?

Good luck,Abby

 

Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having, but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't find anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they have a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would say something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but he didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel pressured to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I think is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just my stomach digesting my toast...

The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat LATE. We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late. He'll say he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but he calls and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later, he'll call and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm irritated and cook dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at 9pm...not good either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing this is really helping me see my issues)

I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that because I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain weight.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can.

Becca

>

> Hi Becca:

> If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not feel hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight hunger during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you want to stop overeating at dinner, you need...>

[Guest guest]

Becca,Well, one step at a time.It'd definitely possible that you could gain weight, though you may not, because you have damaged your metabolism by dieting/skipping meals. But it sounds like you have a reason you dont want to keep skipping meals and dieting... so what would be the positive sides of trying this out? but i dont think the weight gain needs to be permanent. but it helped me to be prepared for some inevitable weight gain. not because of IE, but because of my body reacting to the deprivation that came before IE.

As for your husband... perhaps you already figured this out by typing it all out... but maybe you could plan dinner for the time that works best for you and your kids? because i think if you are frustrated and resentful (not saying THAT you, just IF you are) that may be impacting your eating as well. and if you are overhungry, that doesnt help either. and the kids are probably not any easier to be around if they are overhungry and tired. and then you could sit with your husband and just keep him company and whatever time he gets home while HE eats? he might also be happier to not have pressure about rushing home, and feeling guilty that he's not doing a better job in doing so?

Good luck,Abby

 

Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having, but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't find anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they have a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would say something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but he didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel pressured to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I think is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just my stomach digesting my toast...

The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat LATE. We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late. He'll say he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but he calls and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later, he'll call and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm irritated and cook dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at 9pm...not good either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing this is really helping me see my issues)

I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that because I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain weight.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can.

Becca

>

> Hi Becca:

> If you eat a lot at night (or before, during or after dinner), you may not feel hungry the next morning. However, I wonder if you might discount slight hunger during the day, because you feel guilty about overating dinner. If you want to stop overeating at dinner, you need...>

[Guest guest]

Hi Becca: What you eat and drink during the day seems to suppress your hunger,

rather than allow you to take time to sit at a table, relax and savor food you

really enjoy, when you feel hungry. Many people use caffeine to suppress hunger

cues and avoid eating. I have observed that even hot, artifically sweetened

herbal tea can suppress my hunger. Perhaps you overlook how much you eat from a

" titch of whatever (the kids) are having " , when you " scrounge around but don't

find anything 'good' " , and when you eat the 'junk (your kids) have for a snack'.

Obviously those little bites here and there fill your stomach enough until

dinnertime.

So I wonder: Do you DESERVE to take time for yourself to eat, to consider

exactly what would feel good in your stomach (not just taste good) when you feel

hunger, prepare that food just for yourself, sit down to eat and really savor

each bite? Are you worth that much effort? Or are you only allowed to eat a sit

down dinner with your husband, when that dinner is convenient for him?

I think the 'Intuitive Eating' book can help you. However, you already began to

face your specific eating dilemmas. So perhaps you can use the IE book as

reference as you consider what works and what doesn't work as you try to eat

when hungry and stop when comfortably full. Eating is so much more than the

specific foods you put into your body, although those foods can positively or

negatively affect your health. How, when, why and how much you eat are huge

factors to consider in your journey toward normal, intuitive eating habits.

SUE

>

>

> Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

>

> I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as

starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I

shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it

until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check

my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having,

but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

>

> Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't

find anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they

have a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by

dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it

all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

>

> Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would

say something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but

he didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel

pressured to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

>

> I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I

think is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just

my stomach digesting my toast...

> The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat

LATE. We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late.

He'll say he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but

he calls and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later,

he'll call and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm

irritated and cook dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at

9pm...not good either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing

this is really helping me see my issues)

>

> I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library

have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

>

> I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that

because I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain

weight.

>

> I can do this.

> I can do this.

> I can do this.

> I can.

>

> Becca

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Becca: What you eat and drink during the day seems to suppress your hunger,

rather than allow you to take time to sit at a table, relax and savor food you

really enjoy, when you feel hungry. Many people use caffeine to suppress hunger

cues and avoid eating. I have observed that even hot, artifically sweetened

herbal tea can suppress my hunger. Perhaps you overlook how much you eat from a

" titch of whatever (the kids) are having " , when you " scrounge around but don't

find anything 'good' " , and when you eat the 'junk (your kids) have for a snack'.

Obviously those little bites here and there fill your stomach enough until

dinnertime.

So I wonder: Do you DESERVE to take time for yourself to eat, to consider

exactly what would feel good in your stomach (not just taste good) when you feel

hunger, prepare that food just for yourself, sit down to eat and really savor

each bite? Are you worth that much effort? Or are you only allowed to eat a sit

down dinner with your husband, when that dinner is convenient for him?

I think the 'Intuitive Eating' book can help you. However, you already began to

face your specific eating dilemmas. So perhaps you can use the IE book as

reference as you consider what works and what doesn't work as you try to eat

when hungry and stop when comfortably full. Eating is so much more than the

specific foods you put into your body, although those foods can positively or

negatively affect your health. How, when, why and how much you eat are huge

factors to consider in your journey toward normal, intuitive eating habits.

SUE

>

>

> Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

>

> I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as

starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I

shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it

until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check

my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having,

but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

>

> Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't

find anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they

have a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by

dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it

all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

>

> Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would

say something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but

he didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel

pressured to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

>

> I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I

think is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just

my stomach digesting my toast...

> The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat

LATE. We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late.

He'll say he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but

he calls and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later,

he'll call and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm

irritated and cook dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at

9pm...not good either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing

this is really helping me see my issues)

>

> I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library

have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

>

> I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that

because I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain

weight.

>

> I can do this.

> I can do this.

> I can do this.

> I can.

>

> Becca

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Becca: What you eat and drink during the day seems to suppress your hunger,

rather than allow you to take time to sit at a table, relax and savor food you

really enjoy, when you feel hungry. Many people use caffeine to suppress hunger

cues and avoid eating. I have observed that even hot, artifically sweetened

herbal tea can suppress my hunger. Perhaps you overlook how much you eat from a

" titch of whatever (the kids) are having " , when you " scrounge around but don't

find anything 'good' " , and when you eat the 'junk (your kids) have for a snack'.

Obviously those little bites here and there fill your stomach enough until

dinnertime.

So I wonder: Do you DESERVE to take time for yourself to eat, to consider

exactly what would feel good in your stomach (not just taste good) when you feel

hunger, prepare that food just for yourself, sit down to eat and really savor

each bite? Are you worth that much effort? Or are you only allowed to eat a sit

down dinner with your husband, when that dinner is convenient for him?

I think the 'Intuitive Eating' book can help you. However, you already began to

face your specific eating dilemmas. So perhaps you can use the IE book as

reference as you consider what works and what doesn't work as you try to eat

when hungry and stop when comfortably full. Eating is so much more than the

specific foods you put into your body, although those foods can positively or

negatively affect your health. How, when, why and how much you eat are huge

factors to consider in your journey toward normal, intuitive eating habits.

SUE

>

>

> Thanks Sue, for taking the time to respond to my posts.

>

> I think that I do ignore the slight hunger during the day. I don't see it as

starving myself or anything like that. I drink a cup of coffee first thing. I

shouldn't say " drink " . lol I *pour* myself a cup of coffee and then sip it

until noon (yes, even cold) and then when the kids make lunch, I usually check

my emails while they eat. Sometimes I eat a titch of whatever they are having,

but I don't feel like I eat because I am hungry but because it's lunch-time.

>

> Then later, if I haven't eaten, and get hungry, I scrounge around but don't

find anything " good " so I go back to teaching the kids school. Then, when they

have a snack, I finally feel hungry, each the junk they have for a snack, and by

dinner, I'm not really hungry. But, like you said, I fill the plate and eat it

all. (obviously, this is not how it works *every* day)

>

> Last night we went out for pizza and I ate one piece. I was afraid DH would

say something cuz he usually says " you had only one piece? or two pieces? " but

he didn't. I sat and listened to him talk. it was nice. I didn't feel

pressured to eat. I wonder if he saw the TW book on the table...

>

> I notice too that when I eat a piece of taost for breakfast, I feel what I

think is hunger before noon. I guess I wonder if that is really hunger or just

my stomach digesting my toast...

> The other thing that I think plays into my problems is that we tend to eat

LATE. We own a cabinet shop adn sometimes DH doesn't get home until late.

He'll say he'll eb home by5 so I wait to amek dinner so he can eat with us, but

he calls and says he'll be 1/2 an hour late. Then an hour and a hallf later,

he'll call and say he's on his way home but really he isn't so by 7, I'm

irritated and cook dinner without him, making dinner at 8pm and bedtime at

9pm...not good either...and I eat too much at that late dinner...urg...(typing

this is really helping me see my issues)

>

> I ordered the Intuitive Eating book off Amazon, too. The ones at the library

have hold after hold on them and it seemed like a worthy investment.

>

> I think I will just have to patiently re-learn normal. I'm afraid that

because I have skipped meals for so long that doing this over will make me gain

weight.

>

> I can do this.

> I can do this.

> I can do this.

> I can.

>

> Becca

>

[Guest guest]

Gosh, you guys sound so smart

I'm going to take baby steps and just do it.

My first step will be to cook dinner at 5pm no matter what. Hubby can eat when

he gets home. I love to have the family meal thing but it just isn't going to

happen all the time. Reality check.

I also will make a breakfast and lunch for me. Whatever it is. (HA! I was just

going to ask if a smoothie is " OK " , but I can have whatever I want! haha I

know, I know, as long as I am hungry...)

Thanks again, pals,

I'm on the right track!

Becca