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Laurie,I'm glad it resonated! What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having. 

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, " hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again. " I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans. 

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go " Ohhhhh " when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself! 

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better " work on " the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like. 

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off. So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced. 

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.Hugs,Abby

 

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food.  It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food. 

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

 

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food.  The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection?  If we apply the eat when hungry " rule " and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while,  what's wrong with that?  Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

 

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

 

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food. 

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.  

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating. 

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

 

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.  This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all.  I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months.  I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:  

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Laurie,I'm glad it resonated! What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having. 

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, " hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again. " I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans. 

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go " Ohhhhh " when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself! 

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better " work on " the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like. 

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off. So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced. 

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.Hugs,Abby

 

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food.  It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food. 

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

 

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food.  The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection?  If we apply the eat when hungry " rule " and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while,  what's wrong with that?  Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

 

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

 

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food. 

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.  

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating. 

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

 

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.  This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all.  I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months.  I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:  

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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That’s the same thing I’m saying to myself. I’m struggling and

going through a great deal of internal turmoil but at the same time I know that

this is a journey I have to take because none of the alternatives make any

sense.

From: IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Abigail

Wolfson

Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 5:11 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most

likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the

merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn

new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have

restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our

emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our

eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will

lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this

way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight

loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the

purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight

successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely

with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when

hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to

decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing

i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for

me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an

overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for

comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on

learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing

exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every

day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it

looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE.

being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

One thing to realize is that many of us here

haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.

This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't

expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think

looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting

healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about

weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have

stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but

still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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Posted
Posted

That’s the same thing I’m saying to myself. I’m struggling and

going through a great deal of internal turmoil but at the same time I know that

this is a journey I have to take because none of the alternatives make any

sense.

From: IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Abigail

Wolfson

Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 5:11 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most

likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the

merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn

new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have

restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our

emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our

eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will

lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this

way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight

loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the

purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight

successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely

with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when

hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to

decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing

i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for

me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an

overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for

comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on

learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing

exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every

day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it

looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE.

being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

One thing to realize is that many of us here

haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.

This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't

expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think

looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting

healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about

weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have

stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but

still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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Posted
Posted

That’s the same thing I’m saying to myself. I’m struggling and

going through a great deal of internal turmoil but at the same time I know that

this is a journey I have to take because none of the alternatives make any

sense.

From: IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Abigail

Wolfson

Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 5:11 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most

likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the

merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn

new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have

restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our

emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our

eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will

lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this

way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight

loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the

purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight

successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely

with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when

hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to

decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing

i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for

me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an

overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for

comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on

learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing

exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every

day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it

looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE.

being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

One thing to realize is that many of us here

haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.

This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't

expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think

looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting

healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about

weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have

stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but

still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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I second that!

Through this process, I have discovered my body isn't the problem, it's the brain (thinking)! I'm thinking that once the IE principles pretty much become second nature, then the weight issue will resolve on its own. My weight has remained pretty stable, fluctuating two to three pounds, since I started this process. Though small, that is a success! Maybe this is how it is for "normal" eaters?

Best wishes,

Jeanne

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Thanks for sharing this, Kipkabob!

I, too, gained weight and then stabilized. I'm "stuck" in the stabilized phase, fatter than ever, but I do notice that I'm getting much better about sensing when I'm satisfied (which is very differeht than "full"), and choosing to stop then. I'm hopeful that once spring arrives and I can walk around outside, the weight will start dwindling. In the meanwhile, at least food is no longer plaguing my soul.

Harry

has anyone lost weight on here?

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Thanks for sharing this, Kipkabob!

I, too, gained weight and then stabilized. I'm "stuck" in the stabilized phase, fatter than ever, but I do notice that I'm getting much better about sensing when I'm satisfied (which is very differeht than "full"), and choosing to stop then. I'm hopeful that once spring arrives and I can walk around outside, the weight will start dwindling. In the meanwhile, at least food is no longer plaguing my soul.

Harry

has anyone lost weight on here?

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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"Choose life over food." Yeah. That is the secret.

-----Original Message-----From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mckella11Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 9:59 AMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

In high school before I formally tried IE, I was overweight and I decided just to stop worrying about it. I wasn't formally exercising, except for dancing in rehearsals for plays, and I ate what I wanted. Soon, I found that life was more exciting than food, and I spent more time with friends and less time stuffing my face. I kept this attitude for about three years and I easily lost fifty pounds. I've gained a little back because serious life changes and hormonal issues got me into eating emotionally, but I think the secret is to choose life over food. It's really hard to do, but I remember that it works for me. That's the closest thing to an intuitive eater I've been since toddlerhood. >> Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?>

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"Choose life over food." Yeah. That is the secret.

-----Original Message-----From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mckella11Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 9:59 AMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

In high school before I formally tried IE, I was overweight and I decided just to stop worrying about it. I wasn't formally exercising, except for dancing in rehearsals for plays, and I ate what I wanted. Soon, I found that life was more exciting than food, and I spent more time with friends and less time stuffing my face. I kept this attitude for about three years and I easily lost fifty pounds. I've gained a little back because serious life changes and hormonal issues got me into eating emotionally, but I think the secret is to choose life over food. It's really hard to do, but I remember that it works for me. That's the closest thing to an intuitive eater I've been since toddlerhood. >> Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?>

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I think that is the secret too...choosing life over food.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 11:43:28 AMSubject: RE: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

"Choose life over food." Yeah. That is the secret.

[intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

In high school before I formally tried IE, I was overweight and I decided just to stop worrying about it. I wasn't formally exercising, except for dancing in rehearsals for plays, and I ate what I wanted. Soon, I found that life was more exciting than food, and I spent more time with friends and less time stuffing my face. I kept this attitude for about three years and I easily lost fifty pounds. I've gained a little back because serious life changes and hormonal issues got me into eating emotionally, but I think the secret is to choose life over food. It's really hard to do, but I remember that it works for me. That's the closest thing to an intuitive eater I've been since toddlerhood. >>

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?>

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I think that is the secret too...choosing life over food.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 11:43:28 AMSubject: RE: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

"Choose life over food." Yeah. That is the secret.

[intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

In high school before I formally tried IE, I was overweight and I decided just to stop worrying about it. I wasn't formally exercising, except for dancing in rehearsals for plays, and I ate what I wanted. Soon, I found that life was more exciting than food, and I spent more time with friends and less time stuffing my face. I kept this attitude for about three years and I easily lost fifty pounds. I've gained a little back because serious life changes and hormonal issues got me into eating emotionally, but I think the secret is to choose life over food. It's really hard to do, but I remember that it works for me. That's the closest thing to an intuitive eater I've been since toddlerhood. >>

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?>

All new Yahoo! Mail - Get a sneak peak at messages with a handy reading pane.

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Posted

I think that is the secret too...choosing life over food.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 11:43:28 AMSubject: RE: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

"Choose life over food." Yeah. That is the secret.

[intuitiveEating_ Support] Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

In high school before I formally tried IE, I was overweight and I decided just to stop worrying about it. I wasn't formally exercising, except for dancing in rehearsals for plays, and I ate what I wanted. Soon, I found that life was more exciting than food, and I spent more time with friends and less time stuffing my face. I kept this attitude for about three years and I easily lost fifty pounds. I've gained a little back because serious life changes and hormonal issues got me into eating emotionally, but I think the secret is to choose life over food. It's really hard to do, but I remember that it works for me. That's the closest thing to an intuitive eater I've been since toddlerhood. >>

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?>

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Hi Harry,

I like how you said that food no longer plagues your soul; this made me think back to my extreme dieting days and how every second of the day, without exaggerating, was consumed by overwhelming hunger and obsessive thoughts of food, and every second wanting to eat because I was sooo hungry! I thought, would I go back to that for a thin body? No way!!!!!!!!! I'd rather be here than there; it's a no brainer. I do wish my comfortably satisifed signals were stronger, and I do wish my body cooperated more in the form of a higher metabolism, but I wouldn't go back there to those tortuous dieting days for all the money in the world, or all the tea in China, lol!

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 10:42:02 AMSubject: RE: has anyone lost weight on here?

Thanks for sharing this, Kipkabob!

I, too, gained weight and then stabilized. I'm "stuck" in the stabilized phase, fatter than ever, but I do notice that I'm getting much better about sensing when I'm satisfied (which is very differeht than "full"), and choosing to stop then. I'm hopeful that once spring arrives and I can walk around outside, the weight will start dwindling. In the meanwhile, at least food is no longer plaguing my soul.

Harry

[intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Hi Harry,

I like how you said that food no longer plagues your soul; this made me think back to my extreme dieting days and how every second of the day, without exaggerating, was consumed by overwhelming hunger and obsessive thoughts of food, and every second wanting to eat because I was sooo hungry! I thought, would I go back to that for a thin body? No way!!!!!!!!! I'd rather be here than there; it's a no brainer. I do wish my comfortably satisifed signals were stronger, and I do wish my body cooperated more in the form of a higher metabolism, but I wouldn't go back there to those tortuous dieting days for all the money in the world, or all the tea in China, lol!

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 10:42:02 AMSubject: RE: has anyone lost weight on here?

Thanks for sharing this, Kipkabob!

I, too, gained weight and then stabilized. I'm "stuck" in the stabilized phase, fatter than ever, but I do notice that I'm getting much better about sensing when I'm satisfied (which is very differeht than "full"), and choosing to stop then. I'm hopeful that once spring arrives and I can walk around outside, the weight will start dwindling. In the meanwhile, at least food is no longer plaguing my soul.

Harry

[intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Hi Harry,

I like how you said that food no longer plagues your soul; this made me think back to my extreme dieting days and how every second of the day, without exaggerating, was consumed by overwhelming hunger and obsessive thoughts of food, and every second wanting to eat because I was sooo hungry! I thought, would I go back to that for a thin body? No way!!!!!!!!! I'd rather be here than there; it's a no brainer. I do wish my comfortably satisifed signals were stronger, and I do wish my body cooperated more in the form of a higher metabolism, but I wouldn't go back there to those tortuous dieting days for all the money in the world, or all the tea in China, lol!

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 10:42:02 AMSubject: RE: has anyone lost weight on here?

Thanks for sharing this, Kipkabob!

I, too, gained weight and then stabilized. I'm "stuck" in the stabilized phase, fatter than ever, but I do notice that I'm getting much better about sensing when I'm satisfied (which is very differeht than "full"), and choosing to stop then. I'm hopeful that once spring arrives and I can walk around outside, the weight will start dwindling. In the meanwhile, at least food is no longer plaguing my soul.

Harry

[intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others....... but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it. I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others. It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again. I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping? I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals. Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol. And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!! It's just proving to be fun for me.

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated!

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having.

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, "hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again." I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans.

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go "Ohhhhh" when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself!

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better "work on" the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like.

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off.

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced.

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food. It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food.

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food. The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection? If we apply the eat when hungry "rule" and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while, what's wrong with that? Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com> To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about "what's the alternative?"

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a "symptom" of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the "rule" that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages. This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just "getting healthier" is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a dietSohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others....... but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it. I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others. It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again. I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping? I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals. Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol. And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!! It's just proving to be fun for me.

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated!

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having.

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, "hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again." I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans.

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go "Ohhhhh" when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself!

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better "work on" the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like.

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off.

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced.

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food. It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food.

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food. The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection? If we apply the eat when hungry "rule" and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while, what's wrong with that? Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com> To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about "what's the alternative?"

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a "symptom" of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the "rule" that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages. This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just "getting healthier" is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a dietSohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others....... but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it. I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others. It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again. I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping? I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals. Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol. And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!! It's just proving to be fun for me.

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated!

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having.

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, "hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again." I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans.

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go "Ohhhhh" when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself!

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better "work on" the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like.

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off.

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced.

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food. It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food.

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food. The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection? If we apply the eat when hungry "rule" and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while, what's wrong with that? Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com> To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about "what's the alternative?"

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a "symptom" of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the "rule" that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages. This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just "getting healthier" is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a dietSohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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Laurie,I have been doing online shopping with clothes lately. And yes, it works so much better for me! Definitely in terms of IE and all that.I can try things on in the privacy of my own home, and can wait to do it until I am psychologically prepared for how it will feel when things might not fit, that sort of thing.

It's been a huge boost to me. I hate trying on clothes and then feeling like my day has been ruined when I am disappointed with how I look.AbbyPS Perhaps our unwillingness to admit to less than perfection has a lot to do with how we got to this place in the first place! 

 

Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others....... but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it.  I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others.  It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

 

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again.  I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

 

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping?  I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals.  Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol.  And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

 

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!!  It's just proving to be fun for me.

 

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

 

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

 

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated! 

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having. 

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, " hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again. " I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans. 

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go " Ohhhhh " when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself! 

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better " work on " the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like. 

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off. 

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced. 

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

 

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food.  It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food. 

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

 

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food.  The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection?  If we apply the eat when hungry " rule " and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while,  what's wrong with that?  Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

 

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com> To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here? 

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food. 

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.  

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating. 

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

 

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.  This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all.  I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months.  I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:  

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Laurie,I have been doing online shopping with clothes lately. And yes, it works so much better for me! Definitely in terms of IE and all that.I can try things on in the privacy of my own home, and can wait to do it until I am psychologically prepared for how it will feel when things might not fit, that sort of thing.

It's been a huge boost to me. I hate trying on clothes and then feeling like my day has been ruined when I am disappointed with how I look.AbbyPS Perhaps our unwillingness to admit to less than perfection has a lot to do with how we got to this place in the first place! 

 

Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others....... but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it.  I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others.  It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

 

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again.  I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

 

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping?  I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals.  Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol.  And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

 

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!!  It's just proving to be fun for me.

 

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

 

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

 

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated! 

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having. 

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, " hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again. " I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans. 

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go " Ohhhhh " when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself! 

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better " work on " the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like. 

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off. 

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced. 

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

 

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food.  It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food. 

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

 

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food.  The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection?  If we apply the eat when hungry " rule " and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while,  what's wrong with that?  Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

 

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com> To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here? 

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food. 

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.  

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating. 

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

 

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.  This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all.  I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months.  I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:  

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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Laurie,I have been doing online shopping with clothes lately. And yes, it works so much better for me! Definitely in terms of IE and all that.I can try things on in the privacy of my own home, and can wait to do it until I am psychologically prepared for how it will feel when things might not fit, that sort of thing.

It's been a huge boost to me. I hate trying on clothes and then feeling like my day has been ruined when I am disappointed with how I look.AbbyPS Perhaps our unwillingness to admit to less than perfection has a lot to do with how we got to this place in the first place! 

 

Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others....... but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it.  I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others.  It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

 

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again.  I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

 

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping?  I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals.  Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol.  And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

 

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!!  It's just proving to be fun for me.

 

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

 

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

 

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated! 

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having. 

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, " hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again. " I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans. 

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go " Ohhhhh " when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself! 

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better " work on " the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like. 

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off. 

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced. 

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

 

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food.  It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food. 

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

 

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food.  The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection?  If we apply the eat when hungry " rule " and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while,  what's wrong with that?  Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

 

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com> To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com

Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here? 

i always just think about " what's the alternative? "

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food. 

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a " symptom " of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.  

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the " rule " that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating. 

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

 

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages.  This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all.  I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months.  I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just " getting healthier " is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a diet

Sohni.

Kayla wrote:  

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Hi Abby,

Yes, I had to laugh when I read your P.S. about perfection because that was perfect! It's true, I admit it!!

I will definitely try clothes shopping on-line; there's something about my own mirror at home that's much more kind and friendly than at the store :.)

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 12:12:22 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

Laurie,

I have been doing online shopping with clothes lately. And yes, it works so much better for me! Definitely in terms of IE and all that.

I can try things on in the privacy of my own home, and can wait to do it until I am psychologically prepared for how it will feel when things might not fit, that sort of thing.

It's been a huge boost to me. I hate trying on clothes and then feeling like my day has been ruined when I am disappointed with how I look.

Abby

PS Perhaps our unwillingness to admit to less than perfection has a lot to do with how we got to this place in the first place!

On Sun, Feb 28, 2010 at 11:58 AM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others...... . but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it. I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others. It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again. I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping? I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals. Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol. And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!! It's just proving to be fun for me.

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com>

To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated!

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having.

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, "hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again." I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans.

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go "Ohhhhh" when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself!

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better "work on" the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like.

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off.

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced.

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food. It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food.

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food. The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection? If we apply the eat when hungry "rule" and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while, what's wrong with that? Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com>

To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM

Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about "what's the alternative?"

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a "symptom" of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the "rule" that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages. This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just "getting healthier" is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a dietSohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

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Hi Abby,

Yes, I had to laugh when I read your P.S. about perfection because that was perfect! It's true, I admit it!!

I will definitely try clothes shopping on-line; there's something about my own mirror at home that's much more kind and friendly than at the store :.)

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 12:12:22 PMSubject: Re: has anyone lost weight on here?

Laurie,

I have been doing online shopping with clothes lately. And yes, it works so much better for me! Definitely in terms of IE and all that.

I can try things on in the privacy of my own home, and can wait to do it until I am psychologically prepared for how it will feel when things might not fit, that sort of thing.

It's been a huge boost to me. I hate trying on clothes and then feeling like my day has been ruined when I am disappointed with how I look.

Abby

PS Perhaps our unwillingness to admit to less than perfection has a lot to do with how we got to this place in the first place!

On Sun, Feb 28, 2010 at 11:58 AM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Your email has resonated once again! lol

I am also a person who likes to help others, and likes to role model for others...... . but when it comes to me struggling and perhaps falling short of the mark, I don't really like to admit it. I suppose it does help others just as much to see me in my easy and difficult times; makes me more real and human, which i suppose is a more authentic way to connect with others. It's kind of not fair of me to only present that I've got it all together, lol!

I feel, like you, that I can breathe again. I've actually felt lots of happy and serene feelings in the last few days :.)

To change the subject just slightly, I wonder if you or anyone else here has tried on-line shopping? I did it twice through Peapod (Stop and Shop) and for some reason sitting at home and ordering really feels more helpful to my intuitive eating goals. Something about getting to really look over all the foods and take my time picking them and looking to see if my on-line cart has a balanced eating style without restricting anything, well it makes me feel really good, lol. And believe me, when it's delivered to my door and the only thing I have to do is put it away, lol, that is so awesome!

Not trying to sound like an advert. for on-line shopping!!! It's just proving to be fun for me.

Anyway, I'm happy to be back here now I do have a bit more time :.)

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com>

To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, February 27, 2010 9:47:25 PM Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

Laurie,

I'm glad it resonated!

What's interesting to me is that suddenly in the last few days, I feel like I can breathe again. And I guess I didn't realize that I had been metaphorically hyperventilating the last 9-12 months! I thought I was doing okay, because I hate admitting when I am struggling if I can avoid it. But suddenly I feel like I've found my center again... which makes me realize how completely out of whack I had been.

I am a person that doesn't like admitting weakness. And so I guess I've been using food because it was only to food that I could really admit how hard of a time I was having.

I realized last night, Friday night, that I didn't have anything planned for Friday or Saturday nights, and for the first time in ages, instead of being thrilled, I thought, "hmm, I think I might be ready to start going out more often again." I hadn't even REALIZED how much of a hermit I had become (I am exagerating a little), nor what a departure it was from my normal self. But I realize now that i have been treading water, barely, for the last bunch of months. And I can sort of remember that I used to like going out, and didn't internally sigh when I had to follow through on social plans.

So when I look at it that way, I can suddenly go "Ohhhhh" when looking in the mirror, and understand why I've gained weight. I had been beating myself up, not realizing that me and my body had been doing the very best that we could in a very, very stressful situation! And that trying to lose weight actually only worsened the problem, because it made me feel bad about myself!

Now that I am in a better place psychologically -- and it's interesting because I'm in a better place, physically, too; I've moved and I'm finally totally unpacked and tidied up, which is always really important to me -- I think I can better "work on" the eating issue, but from a place of love and compassion. I suddenly don't NEED to eat for comfort anymore. And the PM thing actually makes me feel GOOD -- it provides me gentle structure without ever making me feel bad when I don't do as well as I'd like.

I also, FWIW, realized in the last couple of days that I do much better with life in general and eating in particular when the TV is turned off.

So anyway, Laurie, if I can share any wisdom that I've gleaned from the last months, and just realized a couple days ago, it would be to strive GENTLY towards goals of eating when hungry, and be forgiving when you can't. And separately from that, do all you can to be compassionate and nurturing of yourself during this hard time. Be confident that however you act, you are doing your very best/ And know that it will all be much easier when your stress level is reduced.

I'll let you know down the road if my body releases excess weight as a result of reduced stress.

Hugs,

Abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM, lori <laurietessyahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Hi Abby,

Your email was so interesting; I had just finished writing that the stress in my life was too overwhelming to not turn to food. It's true that I can handle a lot of stress without food, but I did hit my breaking point I suppose.

And now I'm attempting to shift that 'breaking point' higher so I can handle even more stress without food.

I'm attempting ways to reduce stress; exercise, green tea, meditating, massage, etc.

It seems like we're in similar places right now.

I think I'm also taking the eating when hungry to heart because I had to do a bit of tough love on myself to jumpstart my desire to cope without food. The way I see it right now is, what's wrong with McKenna so long as we don't seek absolute perfection? If we apply the eat when hungry "rule" and then just achieve that aim when we can and decide, ahead of time, not to berrate ourselves if we eat when not hungry once in a while, what's wrong with that? Right now I need some structure, and something to aim for, and while it's not weight loss, it certainly is eating like a normal person which means eating when hungry a good percentage of time.

Laurie

From: Abigail Wolfson <abigail.wolfson@ gmail.com>

To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, February 27, 2010 6:10:34 PM

Subject: Re: [intuitiveEating_ Support] has anyone lost weight on here?

i always just think about "what's the alternative?"

i could go on another diet, and drive myself crazy, and most likely end up gaining weight in the long run... or i can learn to step off the merry go round of dieting, and accept that it's going to take a while to learn new behaviors. it's common to gain weight at first, especially if we have restricted food for a long time, and either hurt our metabolisms or our emotional responses to food.

i think it's our behavior most of us need to fix, not our eating. when we learn to stop using food as a coping mechanism, many of us will lose weight. many, but not all. if you knew that you couldn't lose weight this way, lets say you could maintain but not lose, would you go back to dieting? weight loss is sometimes a "symptom" of successsful IE, but it's not the purpose. of course you may still desire it, but it can't all you think about.

in the past i have used McKenna's system to lose weight successfully, and I am now trying it again. for me, it dovetails very nicely with IE, though for others, the "rule" that you can only eat when hungry is too diety. for me, i dont see it as a rule, but as learning to decipher between emotional needs and physical hunger... it's the only thing i've ever tried that i dont rebel against. the fact that it stopped working for me and that i gained weight shows that my coping mechanisms for dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress gave out, and i reverted back to eating for comfort. i hope that this wont happen again, so i will continue to work on learning better coping mechanisms -- ie therapy, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises -- that are not related to eating nor to not eating.

i am hoping for the best in terms of weight loss, but every day i feel happy because i am working on feeling good about my body the way it looks RIGHT NOW, which is also a big part of the PM system, as well as IE. being mean to yourself never helps anything!

i hope this is helpful.

abby

On Sat, Feb 27, 2010 at 5:39 PM, jeanniet58 <jeanniet58gmail (DOT) com> wrote:

One thing to realize is that many of us here haven't been doing IE very long, and are still in the learning stages. This isn't a quick fix and really isn't about weight loss at all. I don't expect to see any kind of positive changes in my body for months. I think looking at IE from a weight-loss attitude rather than just "getting healthier" is kind of sabotaging yourself into looking at it as a dietSohni.

Kayla wrote:

Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

-

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" Choose life over food. " <--I love that. Its so true. If I examine why the IE

process is not going " fast " or " linear " enough for me I find that its because

yes, food is still more important than most other things in my life. Its not

just food to me still; it means so much more (emotional outlet, friend,

comforter, companion, stress/boredom reliever). I'm in therapy now to address

some of the issues behind the emotional eating, so in time I hope I too can

" choose life over food. " It sounds like IE has been a great success in your life

and very happy for you! thanks for this

> >

> > Although the book talks about weight loss with IE as commonplace, it seems

like most on here seem to have stayed the same or gained. I know this is not the

most important thing...but still. Whose lost weight and how did it come about?

> >

>

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