Guest guest Posted August 15, 2010 Report Share Posted August 15, 2010 Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not " healthy " so to speak. Thanks! Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Hi, Jen, When I was dieting, I really used to struggle with the all or nothing feeling. I used to actually think that that was true--why NOT eat anything you want and start dieting again (or not) the next day? I now see that was a way I could justify overeating, because that was what I wanted to do, so I was taking any way I could fathom to let myself overeat. Mostly I was trying to numb out feelings I didn't want (still don't want!) to feel. When you're still using this all or nothing stuff after you know it's false reasoning, the question then becomes not why you keep returning to this way of thinking, but instead, Why do you want to overeat? (because that's where this thinking is taking you). Assigning the cause of this feeling of wanting to overeat to a belief you know is false (i.e., saying that since you ate X, you might as well eat anything you damned well please for the rest of the day) is a way of avoiding looking at why you really want to overeat on that day. When you eat something your eating disorder tells you is "bad," what feelings does that trigger in you? That you don't deserve to eat things you enjoy? That you must "control yourself" and if you don't, it's proof you are "uncontrollable" and so might as well just eat your way to oblivion because you're so pathetic? And then berate yourself the next day? And why would you want to do that? If you can ask these questions without judging yourself, without beating yourself up, but instead with compassion and love, maybe it will give you some insight. At least that's what Geneen Roth suggests, and it's something I've found very helpful You know that these beliefs (that eating X will automatically make you fat; that if you eat X you might as well just eat whatever you want that day) are not true, but you still want to use them to get where you want to go: to overeating. Maybe getting curious about why you want to overeat on any particular day would be helpful. You already know this happens during stressful times. Maybe taking a closer look at what causes you stress and why would help you interrupt this behavior. Good luck with this! I still struggle with this same issue at times, too. Laurie Jen wrote: >>> Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not "healthy" so to speak. Thanks!<<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Hi, Jen, When I was dieting, I really used to struggle with the all or nothing feeling. I used to actually think that that was true--why NOT eat anything you want and start dieting again (or not) the next day? I now see that was a way I could justify overeating, because that was what I wanted to do, so I was taking any way I could fathom to let myself overeat. Mostly I was trying to numb out feelings I didn't want (still don't want!) to feel. When you're still using this all or nothing stuff after you know it's false reasoning, the question then becomes not why you keep returning to this way of thinking, but instead, Why do you want to overeat? (because that's where this thinking is taking you). Assigning the cause of this feeling of wanting to overeat to a belief you know is false (i.e., saying that since you ate X, you might as well eat anything you damned well please for the rest of the day) is a way of avoiding looking at why you really want to overeat on that day. When you eat something your eating disorder tells you is "bad," what feelings does that trigger in you? That you don't deserve to eat things you enjoy? That you must "control yourself" and if you don't, it's proof you are "uncontrollable" and so might as well just eat your way to oblivion because you're so pathetic? And then berate yourself the next day? And why would you want to do that? If you can ask these questions without judging yourself, without beating yourself up, but instead with compassion and love, maybe it will give you some insight. At least that's what Geneen Roth suggests, and it's something I've found very helpful You know that these beliefs (that eating X will automatically make you fat; that if you eat X you might as well just eat whatever you want that day) are not true, but you still want to use them to get where you want to go: to overeating. Maybe getting curious about why you want to overeat on any particular day would be helpful. You already know this happens during stressful times. Maybe taking a closer look at what causes you stress and why would help you interrupt this behavior. Good luck with this! I still struggle with this same issue at times, too. Laurie Jen wrote: >>> Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not "healthy" so to speak. Thanks!<<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Hi, Jen, When I was dieting, I really used to struggle with the all or nothing feeling. I used to actually think that that was true--why NOT eat anything you want and start dieting again (or not) the next day? I now see that was a way I could justify overeating, because that was what I wanted to do, so I was taking any way I could fathom to let myself overeat. Mostly I was trying to numb out feelings I didn't want (still don't want!) to feel. When you're still using this all or nothing stuff after you know it's false reasoning, the question then becomes not why you keep returning to this way of thinking, but instead, Why do you want to overeat? (because that's where this thinking is taking you). Assigning the cause of this feeling of wanting to overeat to a belief you know is false (i.e., saying that since you ate X, you might as well eat anything you damned well please for the rest of the day) is a way of avoiding looking at why you really want to overeat on that day. When you eat something your eating disorder tells you is "bad," what feelings does that trigger in you? That you don't deserve to eat things you enjoy? That you must "control yourself" and if you don't, it's proof you are "uncontrollable" and so might as well just eat your way to oblivion because you're so pathetic? And then berate yourself the next day? And why would you want to do that? If you can ask these questions without judging yourself, without beating yourself up, but instead with compassion and love, maybe it will give you some insight. At least that's what Geneen Roth suggests, and it's something I've found very helpful You know that these beliefs (that eating X will automatically make you fat; that if you eat X you might as well just eat whatever you want that day) are not true, but you still want to use them to get where you want to go: to overeating. Maybe getting curious about why you want to overeat on any particular day would be helpful. You already know this happens during stressful times. Maybe taking a closer look at what causes you stress and why would help you interrupt this behavior. Good luck with this! I still struggle with this same issue at times, too. Laurie Jen wrote: >>> Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not "healthy" so to speak. Thanks!<<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I have a mantra that goes like this,"All food is good, no food is bad, no food is restricted, there are no food rules." It helps me when I eat. I find that even when I am eating normally off limits for me, I don't eat as much.To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, August 15, 2010 10:39:08 PMSubject: Calorie is a calorie?? Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not "healthy" so to speak. Thanks! Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 This is so difficult for me as well. I want desperately to believe that all food is good food- no food is bad and they are all equal. And yet the bad food/good food mantra is SO ingrained in my mind that I can't seem to genuinely believe that. I often do what feels like lying to myself and saying that all foods are equal etc, but deep down I don't truly believe that and I have no idea HOW to change that deep seated belief. Is it even possible??? Thank you all, Jen > > > > I have a mantra that goes like this, " All food is good, no food is bad, no food > is restricted, there are no food rules. " It helps me when I eat. I find that > even when I am eating normally off limits for me, I don't eat as much. > > > ________________________________ > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Sun, August 15, 2010 10:39:08 PM > Subject: Calorie is a calorie?? > > > Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am > very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am > feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. > I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the > facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled > with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain > food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've > blown my day if I eat something that is not " healthy " so to speak. Thanks! > > Jen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 This is so difficult for me as well. I want desperately to believe that all food is good food- no food is bad and they are all equal. And yet the bad food/good food mantra is SO ingrained in my mind that I can't seem to genuinely believe that. I often do what feels like lying to myself and saying that all foods are equal etc, but deep down I don't truly believe that and I have no idea HOW to change that deep seated belief. Is it even possible??? Thank you all, Jen > > > > I have a mantra that goes like this, " All food is good, no food is bad, no food > is restricted, there are no food rules. " It helps me when I eat. I find that > even when I am eating normally off limits for me, I don't eat as much. > > > ________________________________ > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Sun, August 15, 2010 10:39:08 PM > Subject: Calorie is a calorie?? > > > Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am > very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am > feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. > I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the > facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled > with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain > food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've > blown my day if I eat something that is not " healthy " so to speak. Thanks! > > Jen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 This is so difficult for me as well. I want desperately to believe that all food is good food- no food is bad and they are all equal. And yet the bad food/good food mantra is SO ingrained in my mind that I can't seem to genuinely believe that. I often do what feels like lying to myself and saying that all foods are equal etc, but deep down I don't truly believe that and I have no idea HOW to change that deep seated belief. Is it even possible??? Thank you all, Jen > > > > I have a mantra that goes like this, " All food is good, no food is bad, no food > is restricted, there are no food rules. " It helps me when I eat. I find that > even when I am eating normally off limits for me, I don't eat as much. > > > ________________________________ > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Sun, August 15, 2010 10:39:08 PM > Subject: Calorie is a calorie?? > > > Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am > very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am > feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. > I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the > facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled > with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain > food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've > blown my day if I eat something that is not " healthy " so to speak. Thanks! > > Jen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Hi Jen,I'm new here but wanted to respond because I can so relate to your "calorie" question. My husband and his mom--actually both his parents who are in their early 80's--eat whatever they want--BUT NEVER OVEREAT. The three of them are very slender, and especially my hubby and his mom--in excellent health. If they start to get full, they CAN'T continue eating--they're actually unable to because they're very sensitive to the full feeling.Our 25-y/o son, by the way, is exactly the same--although he wont go near processed food. Different generation.White bread, Kraft Miracle Whip, mashed potatoes, Stouffer's herb stuffing, ham/bologna, canned veggies--these have been mainstays of their diet since I have known them (29 years!) and of course, way before that. These are foods that I have always considered fattening, too salty, and close to POISON.But they are fine--my mother-in-law is ultra energetic and very upbeat, as is my husband. (They do also have occasional fresh fruit and veggies--especially in the summer because of their garden--but in general, it's processed food.)Meanwhile, I've been dieting my entire life--never ate those types of things (even when overeating--they weren't on my radar screen--but plenty of other food was)--yet, I'm the overweight one with energy that waxes and wanes.I'm convinced that it's not the food--it's the quantity. Genes are likely also involved--but it's the eating when not hungry and past fullness that makes me feel MISERABLE and be overweight.I am trying to remind myself, every day these days, that a calorie really is a calorie. There was a time during childhood (probably for each of us) when food was just fuel, with a treat (like the ice cream truck in summer) being just that--a treat that all the kids on our block lined up for.This is my main project these days--despite so many other things going on right now. I'm trying to become aware of getting physically hungry (not too difficult anymore but still requiring FOCUS) and stopping BEFORE getting full (full is uncomfortable for me). I think if we have some of anything, before overdoing it, the calorie remains just a calorie. > > >>> Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not "healthy" so to speak. Thanks!<<<> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Hi Jen,I'm new here but wanted to respond because I can so relate to your "calorie" question. My husband and his mom--actually both his parents who are in their early 80's--eat whatever they want--BUT NEVER OVEREAT. The three of them are very slender, and especially my hubby and his mom--in excellent health. If they start to get full, they CAN'T continue eating--they're actually unable to because they're very sensitive to the full feeling.Our 25-y/o son, by the way, is exactly the same--although he wont go near processed food. Different generation.White bread, Kraft Miracle Whip, mashed potatoes, Stouffer's herb stuffing, ham/bologna, canned veggies--these have been mainstays of their diet since I have known them (29 years!) and of course, way before that. These are foods that I have always considered fattening, too salty, and close to POISON.But they are fine--my mother-in-law is ultra energetic and very upbeat, as is my husband. (They do also have occasional fresh fruit and veggies--especially in the summer because of their garden--but in general, it's processed food.)Meanwhile, I've been dieting my entire life--never ate those types of things (even when overeating--they weren't on my radar screen--but plenty of other food was)--yet, I'm the overweight one with energy that waxes and wanes.I'm convinced that it's not the food--it's the quantity. Genes are likely also involved--but it's the eating when not hungry and past fullness that makes me feel MISERABLE and be overweight.I am trying to remind myself, every day these days, that a calorie really is a calorie. There was a time during childhood (probably for each of us) when food was just fuel, with a treat (like the ice cream truck in summer) being just that--a treat that all the kids on our block lined up for.This is my main project these days--despite so many other things going on right now. I'm trying to become aware of getting physically hungry (not too difficult anymore but still requiring FOCUS) and stopping BEFORE getting full (full is uncomfortable for me). I think if we have some of anything, before overdoing it, the calorie remains just a calorie. > > >>> Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not "healthy" so to speak. Thanks!<<<> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Hi Jen,I'm new here but wanted to respond because I can so relate to your "calorie" question. My husband and his mom--actually both his parents who are in their early 80's--eat whatever they want--BUT NEVER OVEREAT. The three of them are very slender, and especially my hubby and his mom--in excellent health. If they start to get full, they CAN'T continue eating--they're actually unable to because they're very sensitive to the full feeling.Our 25-y/o son, by the way, is exactly the same--although he wont go near processed food. Different generation.White bread, Kraft Miracle Whip, mashed potatoes, Stouffer's herb stuffing, ham/bologna, canned veggies--these have been mainstays of their diet since I have known them (29 years!) and of course, way before that. These are foods that I have always considered fattening, too salty, and close to POISON.But they are fine--my mother-in-law is ultra energetic and very upbeat, as is my husband. (They do also have occasional fresh fruit and veggies--especially in the summer because of their garden--but in general, it's processed food.)Meanwhile, I've been dieting my entire life--never ate those types of things (even when overeating--they weren't on my radar screen--but plenty of other food was)--yet, I'm the overweight one with energy that waxes and wanes.I'm convinced that it's not the food--it's the quantity. Genes are likely also involved--but it's the eating when not hungry and past fullness that makes me feel MISERABLE and be overweight.I am trying to remind myself, every day these days, that a calorie really is a calorie. There was a time during childhood (probably for each of us) when food was just fuel, with a treat (like the ice cream truck in summer) being just that--a treat that all the kids on our block lined up for.This is my main project these days--despite so many other things going on right now. I'm trying to become aware of getting physically hungry (not too difficult anymore but still requiring FOCUS) and stopping BEFORE getting full (full is uncomfortable for me). I think if we have some of anything, before overdoing it, the calorie remains just a calorie. > > >>> Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact. I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've blown my day if I eat something that is not "healthy" so to speak. Thanks!<<<> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Josie, Maybe trying that will help. I tend to go for lots of the " bad " foods way too much and end up binging every single night on them. Perhaps if I keep only one type of " forbidden/bad " food in my house at a time it could be a bit better? But then I feel as though I'm not really trying if I do that. That I am not following the guidelines as I should and therefore not growing and learning and progressing. I get so confused with all of this sometimes!!!! But I still haven't given up on trying. Thanks for your insight, Josie! Jen > > > > This is so difficult for me as well. I want desperately to believe that all food is good food- no food is bad and they are all equal. And yet the bad food/good food mantra is SO ingrained in my mind that I can't seem to genuinely believe that. I often do what feels like lying to myself and saying that all foods are equal etc, but deep down I don't truly believe that and I have no idea HOW to change that deep seated belief. Is it even possible??? > > > > Thank you all, > > Jen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I have found it helpful to dish myself less than I used to think I would want. I find that if I'm in tune w/ my fullness levels this is usually plenty and sometimes still too much. I think it keeps me from wasting food and I can always go back for more if I'm still hungry. I really wouldn't classify that as diet behavior, just being sensible. And if you're like me (someone who used to "eat to completion") you still get the satisfaction of cleaning your plate (even if it's a slightly smaller one).Hi, reputkow, I very much liked your post. I had to laugh, though, because I twice misread your "full is uncomfortable for me," which is exactly right as you wrote it, but I *read* it as if it were saying "uncomfortable = full," which was the way I used to define it, that is, that I didn't think of myself as satisfied ("full") until I was actually "uncomfortable." I think redefining "full" as "pleasantly satisfied but still energized" is what I'm aiming at now. I keep thinking I simply need to cut down the quantities I make for and/or serve myself, though I am wondering if this is diet mentality. But so far, if I make an amount of food that seems about right for how hungry I am, I don't seem to be able to stop before it's gone, and I feel a certain gravity (not uncomfortable by any means), which I suspect is still too much food, especially since my clothes don't seem to be getting any looser, LOL. Thoughts, anyone? Would it be not diet-mentality simply to start consciously making and serving myself less food, as an experiment? I wouldn't tell myself I couldn't go back for more, if I really wanted it. Something about this sounds a little like restricting, though. Maybe I'm overthinking? (a distinct possibility!) Laurie reputkow wrote:>>>This is my main project these days--despite so many other things going on right now. I'm trying to become aware of getting physically hungry (not too difficult anymore but still requiring FOCUS) and stopping BEFORE getting full (full is uncomfortable for me). <<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I have found it helpful to dish myself less than I used to think I would want. I find that if I'm in tune w/ my fullness levels this is usually plenty and sometimes still too much. I think it keeps me from wasting food and I can always go back for more if I'm still hungry. I really wouldn't classify that as diet behavior, just being sensible. And if you're like me (someone who used to "eat to completion") you still get the satisfaction of cleaning your plate (even if it's a slightly smaller one).Hi, reputkow, I very much liked your post. I had to laugh, though, because I twice misread your "full is uncomfortable for me," which is exactly right as you wrote it, but I *read* it as if it were saying "uncomfortable = full," which was the way I used to define it, that is, that I didn't think of myself as satisfied ("full") until I was actually "uncomfortable." I think redefining "full" as "pleasantly satisfied but still energized" is what I'm aiming at now. I keep thinking I simply need to cut down the quantities I make for and/or serve myself, though I am wondering if this is diet mentality. But so far, if I make an amount of food that seems about right for how hungry I am, I don't seem to be able to stop before it's gone, and I feel a certain gravity (not uncomfortable by any means), which I suspect is still too much food, especially since my clothes don't seem to be getting any looser, LOL. Thoughts, anyone? Would it be not diet-mentality simply to start consciously making and serving myself less food, as an experiment? I wouldn't tell myself I couldn't go back for more, if I really wanted it. Something about this sounds a little like restricting, though. Maybe I'm overthinking? (a distinct possibility!) Laurie reputkow wrote:>>>This is my main project these days--despite so many other things going on right now. I'm trying to become aware of getting physically hungry (not too difficult anymore but still requiring FOCUS) and stopping BEFORE getting full (full is uncomfortable for me). <<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Laurie, You bring up a good point. I think I do focus a great deal on what I SHOULD be doing as far as the guidelines go. Even if it isn't conscious, I can always sense that voice monitoring every little thing I do and either praising me or deriding me for my actions. I am MUCH more able to follow my hunger instincts and listen to my body in the daytime. But after dinner in the evening it's as though I become a completely different person. I can't figure out why! I have explored everything as much as I can and I can't seem to figure things out. I have been binging excessively (to the point of severe pain that lasts into the next day- all day long) every single night. I am a mess. I approach each new day as a " new day " and continue to listen to hunger signals etc. So I am pleased that I have been committed to continuing and not just giving up. But each night I end up torturing my body with endless bowls of cereal and sugar and on and on and on. I try not to beat myself up for it but I feel so horrible both emotionally and physically and am losing hope each day because I simply cannot figure out WHY I am doing this and I can't seem to control it. Sorry for venting for so long. I just feel so desperate and scared right now. Thank you for listening, Jen > >>>Maybe trying that will help. I tend to go for lots of the " bad " foods way too much and end up binging every single night on them. Perhaps if I keep only one type of " forbidden/bad " food in my house at a time it could be a bit better? But then I feel as though I'm not really trying if I do that. That I am not following the guidelines as I should and therefore not growing and learning and progressing. I get so confused with all of this sometimes!!!! But I still haven't given up on trying.<<< > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Hi, Jen, I am so sorry to hear the pain you're experiencing, and I have been there, really have, so many times. I wonder if you'd be willing to see what happens if you don't binge? Could you sit with whatever comes up and maybe write it out? I read somewhere that as long as you're "using" the food, you won't be able to access what's going on. I know it feels edgy to not follow those bingeing urges, but maybe if you gave yourself, say, an hour to see what happens if you just sit and feel whatever you're feeling without actually eating anything, something would become clearer for you. This presumes that at this point you've had a meal and are not actually hungry. During the hour (or 15 minutes, or whatever seems manageable for you), promise yourself that you'll be compassionate with yourself, not judgmental. Just say something to yourself like, "Jen, sweetheart, what's going on for you? Why do you want to eat until you feel pain?" Geneen Roth has sections in her "Women Food and God" book and also in her CDs "When Food is Food and Love is Love," where she uses such a kind, compassionate, loving tone with herself (and urges you to do the same for yourself), that I've found myself crying when I read/hear this voice, because it's so far away from "The Voice" that I use to beat myself up with during and after a binge. You don't deserve the punishment you're dishing out (no pun intended) to yourself. See if you can find a way to be kinder to yourself, and to look at the pain that you're feeling that drives you to create another kind of pain that will, maybe, distract you, and will, for sure, keep you stuck in pain. Laurie Jen wrote: >>>Laurie, You bring up a good point. I think I do focus a great deal on what I SHOULD be doing as far as the guidelines go. Even if it isn't conscious, I can always sense that voice monitoring every little thing I do and either praising me or deriding me for my actions. I am MUCH more able to follow my hunger instincts and listen to my body in the daytime. But after dinner in the evening it's as though I become a completely different person. I can't figure out why! I have explored everything as much as I can and I can't seem to figure things out. I have been binging excessively (to the point of severe pain that lasts into the next day- all day long) every single night. I am a mess. I approach each new day as a "new day" and continue to listen to hunger signals etc. So I am pleased that I have been committed to continuing and not just giving up. But each night I end up torturing my body with endless bowls of cereal and sugar and on and on and on. I try not to beat myself u p for it but I feel so horrible both emotionally and physically and am losing hope each day because I simply cannot figure out WHY I am doing this and I can't seem to control it. Sorry for venting for so long. I just feel so desperate and scared right now. Thank you for listening, Jen<<< > >>>Maybe trying that will help. I tend to go for lots of the "bad" foods way too much and end up binging every single night on them. Perhaps if I keep only one type of "forbidden/bad" food in my house at a time it could be a bit better? But then I feel as though I'm not really trying if I do that. That I am not following the guidelines as I should and therefore not growing and learning and progressing. I get so confused with all of this sometimes!!!! But I still haven't given up on trying.<<< > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Hi, Jen, I am so sorry to hear the pain you're experiencing, and I have been there, really have, so many times. I wonder if you'd be willing to see what happens if you don't binge? Could you sit with whatever comes up and maybe write it out? I read somewhere that as long as you're "using" the food, you won't be able to access what's going on. I know it feels edgy to not follow those bingeing urges, but maybe if you gave yourself, say, an hour to see what happens if you just sit and feel whatever you're feeling without actually eating anything, something would become clearer for you. This presumes that at this point you've had a meal and are not actually hungry. During the hour (or 15 minutes, or whatever seems manageable for you), promise yourself that you'll be compassionate with yourself, not judgmental. Just say something to yourself like, "Jen, sweetheart, what's going on for you? Why do you want to eat until you feel pain?" Geneen Roth has sections in her "Women Food and God" book and also in her CDs "When Food is Food and Love is Love," where she uses such a kind, compassionate, loving tone with herself (and urges you to do the same for yourself), that I've found myself crying when I read/hear this voice, because it's so far away from "The Voice" that I use to beat myself up with during and after a binge. You don't deserve the punishment you're dishing out (no pun intended) to yourself. See if you can find a way to be kinder to yourself, and to look at the pain that you're feeling that drives you to create another kind of pain that will, maybe, distract you, and will, for sure, keep you stuck in pain. Laurie Jen wrote: >>>Laurie, You bring up a good point. I think I do focus a great deal on what I SHOULD be doing as far as the guidelines go. Even if it isn't conscious, I can always sense that voice monitoring every little thing I do and either praising me or deriding me for my actions. I am MUCH more able to follow my hunger instincts and listen to my body in the daytime. But after dinner in the evening it's as though I become a completely different person. I can't figure out why! I have explored everything as much as I can and I can't seem to figure things out. I have been binging excessively (to the point of severe pain that lasts into the next day- all day long) every single night. I am a mess. I approach each new day as a "new day" and continue to listen to hunger signals etc. So I am pleased that I have been committed to continuing and not just giving up. But each night I end up torturing my body with endless bowls of cereal and sugar and on and on and on. I try not to beat myself u p for it but I feel so horrible both emotionally and physically and am losing hope each day because I simply cannot figure out WHY I am doing this and I can't seem to control it. Sorry for venting for so long. I just feel so desperate and scared right now. Thank you for listening, Jen<<< > >>>Maybe trying that will help. I tend to go for lots of the "bad" foods way too much and end up binging every single night on them. Perhaps if I keep only one type of "forbidden/bad" food in my house at a time it could be a bit better? But then I feel as though I'm not really trying if I do that. That I am not following the guidelines as I should and therefore not growing and learning and progressing. I get so confused with all of this sometimes!!!! But I still haven't given up on trying.<<< > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Hi, Jen, I am so sorry to hear the pain you're experiencing, and I have been there, really have, so many times. I wonder if you'd be willing to see what happens if you don't binge? Could you sit with whatever comes up and maybe write it out? I read somewhere that as long as you're "using" the food, you won't be able to access what's going on. I know it feels edgy to not follow those bingeing urges, but maybe if you gave yourself, say, an hour to see what happens if you just sit and feel whatever you're feeling without actually eating anything, something would become clearer for you. This presumes that at this point you've had a meal and are not actually hungry. During the hour (or 15 minutes, or whatever seems manageable for you), promise yourself that you'll be compassionate with yourself, not judgmental. Just say something to yourself like, "Jen, sweetheart, what's going on for you? Why do you want to eat until you feel pain?" Geneen Roth has sections in her "Women Food and God" book and also in her CDs "When Food is Food and Love is Love," where she uses such a kind, compassionate, loving tone with herself (and urges you to do the same for yourself), that I've found myself crying when I read/hear this voice, because it's so far away from "The Voice" that I use to beat myself up with during and after a binge. You don't deserve the punishment you're dishing out (no pun intended) to yourself. See if you can find a way to be kinder to yourself, and to look at the pain that you're feeling that drives you to create another kind of pain that will, maybe, distract you, and will, for sure, keep you stuck in pain. Laurie Jen wrote: >>>Laurie, You bring up a good point. I think I do focus a great deal on what I SHOULD be doing as far as the guidelines go. Even if it isn't conscious, I can always sense that voice monitoring every little thing I do and either praising me or deriding me for my actions. I am MUCH more able to follow my hunger instincts and listen to my body in the daytime. But after dinner in the evening it's as though I become a completely different person. I can't figure out why! I have explored everything as much as I can and I can't seem to figure things out. I have been binging excessively (to the point of severe pain that lasts into the next day- all day long) every single night. I am a mess. I approach each new day as a "new day" and continue to listen to hunger signals etc. So I am pleased that I have been committed to continuing and not just giving up. But each night I end up torturing my body with endless bowls of cereal and sugar and on and on and on. I try not to beat myself u p for it but I feel so horrible both emotionally and physically and am losing hope each day because I simply cannot figure out WHY I am doing this and I can't seem to control it. Sorry for venting for so long. I just feel so desperate and scared right now. Thank you for listening, Jen<<< > >>>Maybe trying that will help. I tend to go for lots of the "bad" foods way too much and end up binging every single night on them. Perhaps if I keep only one type of "forbidden/bad" food in my house at a time it could be a bit better? But then I feel as though I'm not really trying if I do that. That I am not following the guidelines as I should and therefore not growing and learning and progressing. I get so confused with all of this sometimes!!!! But I still haven't given up on trying.<<< > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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