Calorie is a calorie??

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone! I just had a couple thoughts and needed some reinforcement. I am

very clear that a calorie is a calorie, but during stressful times, or when I am

feeling out of control, my eating disorder, strongly disagrees with this fact.

I struggle with believing that all calories are equal, even though I now the

facts. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, or if they had struggled

with this. I still have the distorted thoughts and beliefs that if I eat certain

food, they will make me gain weight, or the all or nothing thinking like I've

blown my day if I eat something that is not " healthy " so to speak. Thanks!

Jen

[Guest guest]

Thank you Josie! I totally agree and feel that practice/repetition will help me

learn to trust foods that feel scary or unhealthy for me. Thank you so much for

the encouragement.

> >

> > This is so difficult for me as well. I want desperately to believe that all

food is good food- no food is bad and they are all equal. And yet the bad

food/good food mantra is SO ingrained in my mind that I can't seem to genuinely

believe that. I often do what feels like lying to myself and saying that all

foods are equal etc, but deep down I don't truly believe that and I have no idea

HOW to change that deep seated belief. Is it even possible???

> >

> > Thank you all,

> > Jen

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Josie! I totally agree and feel that practice/repetition will help me

learn to trust foods that feel scary or unhealthy for me. Thank you so much for

the encouragement.

> >

> > This is so difficult for me as well. I want desperately to believe that all

food is good food- no food is bad and they are all equal. And yet the bad

food/good food mantra is SO ingrained in my mind that I can't seem to genuinely

believe that. I often do what feels like lying to myself and saying that all

foods are equal etc, but deep down I don't truly believe that and I have no idea

HOW to change that deep seated belief. Is it even possible???

> >

> > Thank you all,

> > Jen

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, reputkow,

I very much liked your post.

I had to laugh, though, because I twice misread your "full is uncomfortable for me," which is exactly right as you wrote it, but I *read* it as if it were saying "uncomfortable = full," which was the way I used to define it, that is, that I didn't think of myself as satisfied ("full") until I was actually "uncomfortable." I think redefining "full" as "pleasantly satisfied but still energized" is what I'm aiming at now.

I keep thinking I simply need to cut down the quantities I make for and/or serve myself, though I am wondering if this is diet mentality. But so far, if I make an amount of food that seems about right for how hungry I am, I don't seem to be able to stop before it's gone, and I feel a certain gravity (not uncomfortable by any means), which I suspect is still too much food, especially since my clothes don't seem to be getting any looser, LOL. Thoughts, anyone? Would it be not diet-mentality simply to start consciously making and serving myself less food, as an experiment? I wouldn't tell myself I couldn't go back for more, if I really wanted it. Something about this sounds a little like restricting, though. Maybe I'm overthinking? (a distinct possibility!)

Laurie

reputkow wrote:

>>>This is my main project these days--despite so many other things going on right now. I'm trying to become aware of getting physically hungry (not too difficult anymore but still requiring FOCUS) and stopping BEFORE getting full (full is uncomfortable for me). <<<

[Guest guest]

Hi, reputkow,

I very much liked your post.

I had to laugh, though, because I twice misread your "full is uncomfortable for me," which is exactly right as you wrote it, but I *read* it as if it were saying "uncomfortable = full," which was the way I used to define it, that is, that I didn't think of myself as satisfied ("full") until I was actually "uncomfortable." I think redefining "full" as "pleasantly satisfied but still energized" is what I'm aiming at now.

I keep thinking I simply need to cut down the quantities I make for and/or serve myself, though I am wondering if this is diet mentality. But so far, if I make an amount of food that seems about right for how hungry I am, I don't seem to be able to stop before it's gone, and I feel a certain gravity (not uncomfortable by any means), which I suspect is still too much food, especially since my clothes don't seem to be getting any looser, LOL. Thoughts, anyone? Would it be not diet-mentality simply to start consciously making and serving myself less food, as an experiment? I wouldn't tell myself I couldn't go back for more, if I really wanted it. Something about this sounds a little like restricting, though. Maybe I'm overthinking? (a distinct possibility!)

Laurie

reputkow wrote:

>>>This is my main project these days--despite so many other things going on right now. I'm trying to become aware of getting physically hungry (not too difficult anymore but still requiring FOCUS) and stopping BEFORE getting full (full is uncomfortable for me). <<<

[Guest guest]

Laurie,

You bring up a good point. I think I do focus a great deal on what I SHOULD be

doing as far as the guidelines go. Even if it isn't conscious, I can always

sense that voice monitoring every little thing I do and either praising me or

deriding me for my actions. I am MUCH more able to follow my hunger instincts

and listen to my body in the daytime. But after dinner in the evening it's as

though I become a completely different person. I can't figure out why! I have

explored everything as much as I can and I can't seem to figure things out. I

have been binging excessively (to the point of severe pain that lasts into the

next day- all day long) every single night. I am a mess. I approach each new day

as a " new day " and continue to listen to hunger signals etc. So I am pleased

that I have been committed to continuing and not just giving up. But each night

I end up torturing my body with endless bowls of cereal and sugar and on and on

and on. I try not to beat myself up for it but I feel so horrible both

emotionally and physically and am losing hope each day because I simply cannot

figure out WHY I am doing this and I can't seem to control it.

Sorry for venting for so long. I just feel so desperate and scared right now.

Thank you for listening,

Jen

> >>>Maybe trying that will help. I tend to go for lots of the " bad " foods way

too much and end up binging every single night on them. Perhaps if I keep only

one type of " forbidden/bad " food in my house at a time it could be a bit better?

But then I feel as though I'm not really trying if I do that. That I am not

following the guidelines as I should and therefore not growing and learning and

progressing. I get so confused with all of this sometimes!!!! But I still

haven't given up on trying.<<<

>