Guest guest Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 Jackie - So how did Nada react to your reply? I got the full " boo-hoo-hoo, you don't love your family " treatment for telling my mom that I wasn't going to subject myself to my brother's lying, stealing, no-'count behavior on the off chance his child would need a kidney someday. Nadas and kidneys - a whole new thesis topic. > > this is really weird, and scary...MY nada asked me if I'd donate a kidney > to one of my siblings if they needed it ( none of them were ever sick) what > IS it with them ??? I told her it would depend on what happened to the > first...damaged by drug/alcohol, no, I would not... > > > Jackie > > > > Funny you should bring up the kidney scenario - my mom actually used that on > me one time! I had cut off all contact with my world-class sociopath > brother and his alcoholic babymama, and my mother tried to guilt me in to > having a relationship with them because their child (an innocent, to be > sure) " might need a kidney someday " and I wouldn't be there to give her > mine. It never occurred to her that if the child's parents wanted to have a > close family circle of organ donors, they might consider not being such > total a##holes. > > But to answer your question - yes, I did worry about losing contact with > whatever tenuously connected distant cousins there are on Mom's side of the > family - but they are all living in the same area as she does, so seeing > them would almost always mean going through her. I decided there are > consequences to any decision, and a pro/con analysis came down clearly on > the " con " side of remaining enmeshed with Mom. Some bridges are just gonna > have to burn, I guess. Besides, the way she " runs through " her family and > friends, she's already burned the bridges in front of me. My main concern > is that they'd think I'm like her - guilt by association. I do hold out > hope that someday I'll run into these folks and they'll acknowledge what a > problem she was, and we can go on from there. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 Jackie - So how did Nada react to your reply? I got the full " boo-hoo-hoo, you don't love your family " treatment for telling my mom that I wasn't going to subject myself to my brother's lying, stealing, no-'count behavior on the off chance his child would need a kidney someday. Nadas and kidneys - a whole new thesis topic. > > this is really weird, and scary...MY nada asked me if I'd donate a kidney > to one of my siblings if they needed it ( none of them were ever sick) what > IS it with them ??? I told her it would depend on what happened to the > first...damaged by drug/alcohol, no, I would not... > > > Jackie > > > > Funny you should bring up the kidney scenario - my mom actually used that on > me one time! I had cut off all contact with my world-class sociopath > brother and his alcoholic babymama, and my mother tried to guilt me in to > having a relationship with them because their child (an innocent, to be > sure) " might need a kidney someday " and I wouldn't be there to give her > mine. It never occurred to her that if the child's parents wanted to have a > close family circle of organ donors, they might consider not being such > total a##holes. > > But to answer your question - yes, I did worry about losing contact with > whatever tenuously connected distant cousins there are on Mom's side of the > family - but they are all living in the same area as she does, so seeing > them would almost always mean going through her. I decided there are > consequences to any decision, and a pro/con analysis came down clearly on > the " con " side of remaining enmeshed with Mom. Some bridges are just gonna > have to burn, I guess. Besides, the way she " runs through " her family and > friends, she's already burned the bridges in front of me. My main concern > is that they'd think I'm like her - guilt by association. I do hold out > hope that someday I'll run into these folks and they'll acknowledge what a > problem she was, and we can go on from there. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 nada was angry that I would refuse to help a sibling...I told her what was the point they'd only destroy the new kidney...she said that wasn't the point !! she's always had these little " tests " for me ( and probably my siblings as well) like what if both parents died, would I be willing to help my older sister ? My older sister is almost 10 years older then me...and has been a goof off her whole life...she has a college degree is very talented in artwork, but refuses to live under anyone's rule but her own...my parents are STILL supporting her ( she's now 61 and nada pays her rent !!) I told nada no, I would not support my sister...we dont have that kind of extra money !! again, nada was angry because I wouldn't take responsibility for my older sister !! my older sister needs to grow up and take responsibility for herself !! Jackie, the very selfish child !! Jackie - So how did Nada react to your reply? I got the full " boo-hoo-hoo, you don't love your family " treatment for telling my mom that I wasn't going to subject myself to my brother's lying, stealing, no-'count behavior on the off chance his child would need a kidney someday. Nadas and kidneys - a whole new thesis topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 nada was angry that I would refuse to help a sibling...I told her what was the point they'd only destroy the new kidney...she said that wasn't the point !! she's always had these little " tests " for me ( and probably my siblings as well) like what if both parents died, would I be willing to help my older sister ? My older sister is almost 10 years older then me...and has been a goof off her whole life...she has a college degree is very talented in artwork, but refuses to live under anyone's rule but her own...my parents are STILL supporting her ( she's now 61 and nada pays her rent !!) I told nada no, I would not support my sister...we dont have that kind of extra money !! again, nada was angry because I wouldn't take responsibility for my older sister !! my older sister needs to grow up and take responsibility for herself !! Jackie, the very selfish child !! Jackie - So how did Nada react to your reply? I got the full " boo-hoo-hoo, you don't love your family " treatment for telling my mom that I wasn't going to subject myself to my brother's lying, stealing, no-'count behavior on the off chance his child would need a kidney someday. Nadas and kidneys - a whole new thesis topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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