Guest guest Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 As nada appears to be on her deathbed. i'm having a rollr coaster of horrible emotions and self-talk with issues I thought i resolved. i need some advice on the emotional journey after her death. i'm even concerned abuot answering co-workers questions. I continue to have well meaning friends encourage me to go see her, but i feel no need or guilt.. Joanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2010 Report Share Posted July 23, 2010 I wish I had great advice, but I can only offer support. It seems, with something so huge, a lot of stuff would come back. That seems completely normal/understandable to me. I know how trite and silly this is, so please forgive me in advance! But, as much as you can, remember this is a season. It will all settle down--none of this is permanent, and you aren't being thrown back in your healing. It's just a horrible time, and all of your old coping skills are rearing their ugly heads. Once you get back to pseudo-normal days, a lot of it will calm down. If it were me, I'd tend to go to extremes: This is my life forever and now I have to back to square one in my healing and these dark days are here until the day I die!!! This is not bigger than you are, and it is not a state of being--it is a hard, temporary situation. So sorry you are going through this. The only thing I know about grief is: Don't judge the process, no matter what it looks like. It is what it is, and it all serves a purpose in getting you through the loss. p.s Anything by Kubler-Ross is wonderful. I read " On Grief and Grieving " and it served me tremendously. I've heard " On Death and Dying " is good as well. Blessings, Karla > > As nada appears to be on her deathbed. i'm having a rollr coaster of horrible emotions and self-talk with issues I thought i resolved. i need some advice on the emotional journey after her death. > > > i'm even concerned abuot answering co-workers questions. > > I continue to have well meaning friends encourage me to go see her, but i feel no need or guilt.. > > Joanna > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2010 Report Share Posted July 23, 2010 I wish I had great advice, but I can only offer support. It seems, with something so huge, a lot of stuff would come back. That seems completely normal/understandable to me. I know how trite and silly this is, so please forgive me in advance! But, as much as you can, remember this is a season. It will all settle down--none of this is permanent, and you aren't being thrown back in your healing. It's just a horrible time, and all of your old coping skills are rearing their ugly heads. Once you get back to pseudo-normal days, a lot of it will calm down. If it were me, I'd tend to go to extremes: This is my life forever and now I have to back to square one in my healing and these dark days are here until the day I die!!! This is not bigger than you are, and it is not a state of being--it is a hard, temporary situation. So sorry you are going through this. The only thing I know about grief is: Don't judge the process, no matter what it looks like. It is what it is, and it all serves a purpose in getting you through the loss. p.s Anything by Kubler-Ross is wonderful. I read " On Grief and Grieving " and it served me tremendously. I've heard " On Death and Dying " is good as well. Blessings, Karla > > As nada appears to be on her deathbed. i'm having a rollr coaster of horrible emotions and self-talk with issues I thought i resolved. i need some advice on the emotional journey after her death. > > > i'm even concerned abuot answering co-workers questions. > > I continue to have well meaning friends encourage me to go see her, but i feel no need or guilt.. > > Joanna > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2010 Report Share Posted July 23, 2010 I wish I had great advice, but I can only offer support. It seems, with something so huge, a lot of stuff would come back. That seems completely normal/understandable to me. I know how trite and silly this is, so please forgive me in advance! But, as much as you can, remember this is a season. It will all settle down--none of this is permanent, and you aren't being thrown back in your healing. It's just a horrible time, and all of your old coping skills are rearing their ugly heads. Once you get back to pseudo-normal days, a lot of it will calm down. If it were me, I'd tend to go to extremes: This is my life forever and now I have to back to square one in my healing and these dark days are here until the day I die!!! This is not bigger than you are, and it is not a state of being--it is a hard, temporary situation. So sorry you are going through this. The only thing I know about grief is: Don't judge the process, no matter what it looks like. It is what it is, and it all serves a purpose in getting you through the loss. p.s Anything by Kubler-Ross is wonderful. I read " On Grief and Grieving " and it served me tremendously. I've heard " On Death and Dying " is good as well. Blessings, Karla > > As nada appears to be on her deathbed. i'm having a rollr coaster of horrible emotions and self-talk with issues I thought i resolved. i need some advice on the emotional journey after her death. > > > i'm even concerned abuot answering co-workers questions. > > I continue to have well meaning friends encourage me to go see her, but i feel no need or guilt.. > > Joanna > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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