Re: Re: Strange Nada / Annie, me too!

August 1, 2010

One of the " lightbulb " moments I had with my nada was during a phone

conversation when she had been monologuing for some time - then she suddenly

stopped and breathed a sigh as she was finally done talking and cheerfully

said " OK. It's your turn. " I thought " Oh my goodness - my mom thinks that

this is a conversation - each person taking a turn to monopolize the

conversation with no regard to the other person!? "

It was the first time I realized that my mom really does not know what it

means to have a normal adult conversation where there is give and take,

listening and responding, communication rather than just noise. Now I see it

all the time that an actual conversation -- rather than either a monologue

on her part, interrogating (but interrupting in the middle of whatever you

may actually say or clearly not listening in the first place), or other

equally strange patterns of talking -- is something that rarely happens with

my nada.

MY

>

> [Her conversational style tends to either be " The Monologue " in which she

> will talk nonstop for about 20 minutes straight about herself and what she

> and her friends and our relatives have been doing, or " The Interrogation " in

> which she asks me rapid-fire questions about what I've been doing lately.

> Neither of these I consider normal, adult back-and-forth, give-and-take

> conversations, and neither is very enjoyable. I think my nada has never been

> capable of perceiving me as a separate, unique individual or as an adult,

> and so she still talks " at " me instead of " with " me as though I am just an

> object or a child. ]

>

> Annie, I got shivers reading this. UNbelievable it's like you peeked into

> my family's livingroom and described the communication there. No real

> connection taking place, just a fake version of it.

>

> > >

> > > I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced her nada being mad

> for not been praised for her beauty !!!!. I went to see my nada today not on

> my will but did anyways and first she was so happy and less than a minute

> later she switched to be so disconnected. This is so weired. My dad has some

> kind of dissociation too cause when I was talking to him he also seemed

> disconnected in some sort. He's never been diagnosed cause he's never been

> to a psychiatrist.

> > > Here's the thing. Nada had done her hair today and I'm pretty sure she

> wanted me to say Wow!!!! look at you. How good you look and stuff like that

> but I was so tired and preoccupied to tend to my child. I guess that hurt or

> pissed her off or who knows what !!!!. Ohhhhhhh myyyyyy goshhhhhhhhh.... I'm

> not her " MOM " . She's totally fine for a while and then she switches to the

> dark side ( dissociation, anger, sadness and rage ). She wants to

> communicate with me so badly but when I'm there it seems that she gets

> possessed by all her negative emotions. What triggers it. Who knows and it's

> not rational anyways !!!!!!!! Sorry guys I had to vent and I'm so

> dissapointed for being sad cause I've known her for a long time.

> > >

> >

>

August 1, 2010