Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 I have... When I was little..it was before my brother was born so I was younger then three...but I REMEMBER this soo well. We were together in the laudry room...for some reason she passed out. ( now I wonder if it was real or fake) any way For some reason I felt she was joking or paying dead..which she would do and then scare me buy jumping up. So I was poking her with a broom handle to wake her because I didn't want her to jump at me and scare me I was poking her to wake up... Well people came in to help her...not really sure what happened next but for years I have heard about how even as a child I would beat her with a stick when she is defensless... I remember getting lots of you don't do that to your mother from people.... so obviously the smear campaign started early Stefanie On Tue, Aug 3, 2010 at 10:55 AM, mcsmitty1227 wrote: > > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also > mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked > skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few > teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times > her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to > think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada > attributing malicious intent to an infant? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 I have... When I was little..it was before my brother was born so I was younger then three...but I REMEMBER this soo well. We were together in the laudry room...for some reason she passed out. ( now I wonder if it was real or fake) any way For some reason I felt she was joking or paying dead..which she would do and then scare me buy jumping up. So I was poking her with a broom handle to wake her because I didn't want her to jump at me and scare me I was poking her to wake up... Well people came in to help her...not really sure what happened next but for years I have heard about how even as a child I would beat her with a stick when she is defensless... I remember getting lots of you don't do that to your mother from people.... so obviously the smear campaign started early Stefanie On Tue, Aug 3, 2010 at 10:55 AM, mcsmitty1227 wrote: > > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also > mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked > skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few > teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times > her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to > think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada > attributing malicious intent to an infant? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 I have... When I was little..it was before my brother was born so I was younger then three...but I REMEMBER this soo well. We were together in the laudry room...for some reason she passed out. ( now I wonder if it was real or fake) any way For some reason I felt she was joking or paying dead..which she would do and then scare me buy jumping up. So I was poking her with a broom handle to wake her because I didn't want her to jump at me and scare me I was poking her to wake up... Well people came in to help her...not really sure what happened next but for years I have heard about how even as a child I would beat her with a stick when she is defensless... I remember getting lots of you don't do that to your mother from people.... so obviously the smear campaign started early Stefanie On Tue, Aug 3, 2010 at 10:55 AM, mcsmitty1227 wrote: > > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also > mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked > skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few > teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times > her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to > think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada > attributing malicious intent to an infant? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Yes. My mother was convinced that I, as an infant and toddler, hated her and rejected her. She said that she was thrilled to find that she was pregnant again, as it would give her " a second chance to have a normal, loving mother-child relationship. " She dropped this emotional bomb on me casually one day, and it really was a great light-bulb moment for me. This revelation made so many puzzle pieces fall into place. The back-story is that my mother had never shown any interest in babies or children when she was growing up. She admitted she had never even done any baby-sitting before I was born, yet I was a planned child and she and dad had me when she was 22. I'm theorizing that my nada's obsessive-compulsive need for order and antiseptic cleanliness, her dislike of noise and chaos, her perfectionism and her narcissistic need to be put first were all apparently stressed to the max by having children. And then add to that mix the emotional instability, chronic anger, and the tendency to become paranoid & to dissociate under stress that are due to the borderline pd... well, my little Sister and I were virtually guaranteed to endure emotional damage. Each of us were both emotionally and physically abused by our nada. From piecing together various fragments of family stories that nada and other family members have told me, I believe that my nada descended into post-partum depression or even post-partum psychosis after having me, her first child. She had no experience at all caring for infants and was unable to deal with any of it. My mother's parents had oddly decided to take an extended car vacation around the time I was due, so my dad's mother was conscripted to come and stay with the young couple and help care for the baby for a few weeks/months. I am guessing that it was at my dad's request, because my nada didn't like her mother-in-law. What my nada perceived as rejection and hate were a baby's normal cries, and colic. It also turned out that I had abdominal problems that required an emergency operation near age 1 and a follow-up operation at age 2. Nada must have resented the extra time and nursing it took to care for an ill infant. Nada told me that by the time I was three years old, she had given up on having a normal, loving relationship with me. By the time I was three, I was terrified of her. She would get in my face and scream at me in red-faced, spittle-flying rage, slap me, and even hit me with dad's belt. If she approached me suddenly and unexpectedly, I would flinch, and seeing me flinch would enrage her. I had to learn how to squelch my unconscious startle reflex. So, yes, to keep from making a long story longer, my bpd/npd nada still has no comprehension that she made her infant/small child afraid of her. Nada's personality disordered mind interpreted her child's pain and fear as rejection. -Annie > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Yes. My mother was convinced that I, as an infant and toddler, hated her and rejected her. She said that she was thrilled to find that she was pregnant again, as it would give her " a second chance to have a normal, loving mother-child relationship. " She dropped this emotional bomb on me casually one day, and it really was a great light-bulb moment for me. This revelation made so many puzzle pieces fall into place. The back-story is that my mother had never shown any interest in babies or children when she was growing up. She admitted she had never even done any baby-sitting before I was born, yet I was a planned child and she and dad had me when she was 22. I'm theorizing that my nada's obsessive-compulsive need for order and antiseptic cleanliness, her dislike of noise and chaos, her perfectionism and her narcissistic need to be put first were all apparently stressed to the max by having children. And then add to that mix the emotional instability, chronic anger, and the tendency to become paranoid & to dissociate under stress that are due to the borderline pd... well, my little Sister and I were virtually guaranteed to endure emotional damage. Each of us were both emotionally and physically abused by our nada. From piecing together various fragments of family stories that nada and other family members have told me, I believe that my nada descended into post-partum depression or even post-partum psychosis after having me, her first child. She had no experience at all caring for infants and was unable to deal with any of it. My mother's parents had oddly decided to take an extended car vacation around the time I was due, so my dad's mother was conscripted to come and stay with the young couple and help care for the baby for a few weeks/months. I am guessing that it was at my dad's request, because my nada didn't like her mother-in-law. What my nada perceived as rejection and hate were a baby's normal cries, and colic. It also turned out that I had abdominal problems that required an emergency operation near age 1 and a follow-up operation at age 2. Nada must have resented the extra time and nursing it took to care for an ill infant. Nada told me that by the time I was three years old, she had given up on having a normal, loving relationship with me. By the time I was three, I was terrified of her. She would get in my face and scream at me in red-faced, spittle-flying rage, slap me, and even hit me with dad's belt. If she approached me suddenly and unexpectedly, I would flinch, and seeing me flinch would enrage her. I had to learn how to squelch my unconscious startle reflex. So, yes, to keep from making a long story longer, my bpd/npd nada still has no comprehension that she made her infant/small child afraid of her. Nada's personality disordered mind interpreted her child's pain and fear as rejection. -Annie > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Absolutely. One of my first light bulb moments actually happened when I was about 4 and hadn't cleaned my room, I distinctly remember thinking that I had something more fun to do, and Nada came in screaming at me that I didn't love her. Huh. Also, I'm noticing some interesting behaviors when she's with my young niece, and how she attributes anything my niece does as a demonstration of her deep love for Nada (a woman she has met twice). She also ignores any attempt by my niece to move away from her or cry or fuss for her mom, and instead holds her tighter against her will and says " I can't believe how much you want to be with me, you just love your grammie. " I do have to say, watching her with young children has been an emotional but eyeopening experience into my own young childhood, and explains so many of my own behaviors/fears/etc... It was like that last tetris piece falling into place. > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Absolutely. One of my first light bulb moments actually happened when I was about 4 and hadn't cleaned my room, I distinctly remember thinking that I had something more fun to do, and Nada came in screaming at me that I didn't love her. Huh. Also, I'm noticing some interesting behaviors when she's with my young niece, and how she attributes anything my niece does as a demonstration of her deep love for Nada (a woman she has met twice). She also ignores any attempt by my niece to move away from her or cry or fuss for her mom, and instead holds her tighter against her will and says " I can't believe how much you want to be with me, you just love your grammie. " I do have to say, watching her with young children has been an emotional but eyeopening experience into my own young childhood, and explains so many of my own behaviors/fears/etc... It was like that last tetris piece falling into place. > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Absolutely. One of my first light bulb moments actually happened when I was about 4 and hadn't cleaned my room, I distinctly remember thinking that I had something more fun to do, and Nada came in screaming at me that I didn't love her. Huh. Also, I'm noticing some interesting behaviors when she's with my young niece, and how she attributes anything my niece does as a demonstration of her deep love for Nada (a woman she has met twice). She also ignores any attempt by my niece to move away from her or cry or fuss for her mom, and instead holds her tighter against her will and says " I can't believe how much you want to be with me, you just love your grammie. " I do have to say, watching her with young children has been an emotional but eyeopening experience into my own young childhood, and explains so many of my own behaviors/fears/etc... It was like that last tetris piece falling into place. > > I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 my nada told me I've always hated her...I was a colicky baby and my oldest sister was the only one who could get me to stop crying... Jackie >I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also >mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked >skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few >teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times >her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started >to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your >nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 my nada told me I've always hated her...I was a colicky baby and my oldest sister was the only one who could get me to stop crying... Jackie >I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also >mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked >skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few >teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times >her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started >to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your >nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 my nada told me I've always hated her...I was a colicky baby and my oldest sister was the only one who could get me to stop crying... Jackie >I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also >mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked >skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few >teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times >her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started >to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your >nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 thats just so pathetic and sad for you...what did they expect out of a 3 year old or younger kid ?? I doubt you " hit " her with the broom handle...you were probably softly tapping her with it, but she's twisted it all up to make you look bad !! what idiots they are to believe your nada !! Jackie > > Well people came in to help her...not really sure what happened next but > for > years I have heard about how even as a child I would beat her with a stick > when she is defensless... > I remember getting lots of you don't do that to your mother from > people.... > so obviously the smear campaign started early > > Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 thats just so pathetic and sad for you...what did they expect out of a 3 year old or younger kid ?? I doubt you " hit " her with the broom handle...you were probably softly tapping her with it, but she's twisted it all up to make you look bad !! what idiots they are to believe your nada !! Jackie > > Well people came in to help her...not really sure what happened next but > for > years I have heard about how even as a child I would beat her with a stick > when she is defensless... > I remember getting lots of you don't do that to your mother from > people.... > so obviously the smear campaign started early > > Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 thats just so pathetic and sad for you...what did they expect out of a 3 year old or younger kid ?? I doubt you " hit " her with the broom handle...you were probably softly tapping her with it, but she's twisted it all up to make you look bad !! what idiots they are to believe your nada !! Jackie > > Well people came in to help her...not really sure what happened next but > for > years I have heard about how even as a child I would beat her with a stick > when she is defensless... > I remember getting lots of you don't do that to your mother from > people.... > so obviously the smear campaign started early > > Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Oh, goodness...YES!! Nada definitely attributs malicious intent to many things I did as an infant/toddler. " You refused to grow or gain weight for almost a YEAR! " Uh, hi...that's called failure to thrive and, in the absence of a medical reason, happens when the caregiver(s) fail to appropriately meet an infant's needs. Is it any surprise that that year I " refused to grow " was also the same year my father was out of the country with the military? Yeah, no big surprise. She tells of when I was 16 mos old and she told me not to run into the street because I could get hit by a car. Apparently I shouted " No car! " and dashed into the street. In her telling of it...this is proof that from the " get go " I was " defiant, oppositional, and had no respect for authority " . Um...no, I was 16 months old and that sounds like a baby saying " But there are no cars, watch! " ....and is pretty typical behaviour for a toddler. It was always about how " from day one " I was selfish and self centered and only saw the world from my own perspective. Um...that's developmental, that's pretty much how children are supposed to be!! Infants/toddlers/children aren't cognitively ABLE to step outside a situation and view it from the perspective of another!! And yeah...a hungry baby DOES want to be fed. Lots and lots of stories like that. Ninera > > Subject: BPD and babies > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 2:55 PM .. Has anyone > else seen evidence of your nada attributing malicious intent > to an infant? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Oh, goodness...YES!! Nada definitely attributs malicious intent to many things I did as an infant/toddler. " You refused to grow or gain weight for almost a YEAR! " Uh, hi...that's called failure to thrive and, in the absence of a medical reason, happens when the caregiver(s) fail to appropriately meet an infant's needs. Is it any surprise that that year I " refused to grow " was also the same year my father was out of the country with the military? Yeah, no big surprise. She tells of when I was 16 mos old and she told me not to run into the street because I could get hit by a car. Apparently I shouted " No car! " and dashed into the street. In her telling of it...this is proof that from the " get go " I was " defiant, oppositional, and had no respect for authority " . Um...no, I was 16 months old and that sounds like a baby saying " But there are no cars, watch! " ....and is pretty typical behaviour for a toddler. It was always about how " from day one " I was selfish and self centered and only saw the world from my own perspective. Um...that's developmental, that's pretty much how children are supposed to be!! Infants/toddlers/children aren't cognitively ABLE to step outside a situation and view it from the perspective of another!! And yeah...a hungry baby DOES want to be fed. Lots and lots of stories like that. Ninera > > Subject: BPD and babies > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 2:55 PM .. Has anyone > else seen evidence of your nada attributing malicious intent > to an infant? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 What is it with cleaning rooms? When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you were a balloon, I would pop you. " Hehehehehe. > > Subject: Re: BPD and babies > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 5:35 PM > Absolutely. One of my first light > bulb moments actually happened when I was about 4 and hadn't > cleaned my room, I distinctly remember thinking that I had > something more fun to do, and Nada came in screaming at me > that I didn't love her. Huh. > > Also, I'm noticing some interesting behaviors when she's > with my young niece, and how she attributes anything my > niece does as a demonstration of her deep love for Nada (a > woman she has met twice). She also ignores any attempt by my > niece to move away from her or cry or fuss for her mom, and > instead holds her tighter against her will and says " I can't > believe how much you want to be with me, you just love your > grammie. " >? > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 What is it with cleaning rooms? When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you were a balloon, I would pop you. " Hehehehehe. > > Subject: Re: BPD and babies > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 5:35 PM > Absolutely. One of my first light > bulb moments actually happened when I was about 4 and hadn't > cleaned my room, I distinctly remember thinking that I had > something more fun to do, and Nada came in screaming at me > that I didn't love her. Huh. > > Also, I'm noticing some interesting behaviors when she's > with my young niece, and how she attributes anything my > niece does as a demonstration of her deep love for Nada (a > woman she has met twice). She also ignores any attempt by my > niece to move away from her or cry or fuss for her mom, and > instead holds her tighter against her will and says " I can't > believe how much you want to be with me, you just love your > grammie. " >? > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Lol! Love it! What a brave and smart little 3-year-old. If I'd said anything even remotely like that to my nada, I would have gotten slapped in the face, hard, or spanked as well as screamed at and gripped tightly by the shoulders and shaken. Talking back to nada was forbidden. -Annie > > What is it with cleaning rooms? > > When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you were a balloon, I would pop you. " > > Hehehehehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Lol! Love it! What a brave and smart little 3-year-old. If I'd said anything even remotely like that to my nada, I would have gotten slapped in the face, hard, or spanked as well as screamed at and gripped tightly by the shoulders and shaken. Talking back to nada was forbidden. -Annie > > What is it with cleaning rooms? > > When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you were a balloon, I would pop you. " > > Hehehehehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 Lol! Love it! What a brave and smart little 3-year-old. If I'd said anything even remotely like that to my nada, I would have gotten slapped in the face, hard, or spanked as well as screamed at and gripped tightly by the shoulders and shaken. Talking back to nada was forbidden. -Annie > > What is it with cleaning rooms? > > When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you were a balloon, I would pop you. " > > Hehehehehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 He was pretty safe...for the most part, he has always been the golden child. If *I* had done that, not only would there have been hell to pay at the time, the story would have been used in perpetuity as " proof " of my abusive nature. (Because, of course, a child who thinks for herself is...by nada definition...abusive!). My brother, on the other hand, is the can-do-almost-no-wrong child...so it is touted as proof of his clever, comedic genius. Which, I give him credit...he's pretty damn funny and that line is *classic*. Nada just misses the whole point that yelling at a 3 year old child for 45 minutes is inappropriate (especially considering that his behaviour was completely age appropriate...playing instead of cleaning while unsupervised) *and* that it isn't really NORMAL for a 3 year old to want to make his mamma disappear. Ninera > > Subject: Re: BPD and babies > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 7:28 PM > Lol! Love it! What a brave and > smart little 3-year-old. If I'd said anything even > remotely like that to my nada, I would have gotten slapped > in the face, hard, or spanked as well as screamed at and > gripped tightly by the shoulders and shaken. Talking > back to nada was forbidden. > -Annie > > > > > > What is it with cleaning rooms? > > > > When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his > room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. > She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she > yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no > idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of > horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She > finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, > and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you > were a balloon, I would pop you. " > > > > Hehehehehe. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 He was pretty safe...for the most part, he has always been the golden child. If *I* had done that, not only would there have been hell to pay at the time, the story would have been used in perpetuity as " proof " of my abusive nature. (Because, of course, a child who thinks for herself is...by nada definition...abusive!). My brother, on the other hand, is the can-do-almost-no-wrong child...so it is touted as proof of his clever, comedic genius. Which, I give him credit...he's pretty damn funny and that line is *classic*. Nada just misses the whole point that yelling at a 3 year old child for 45 minutes is inappropriate (especially considering that his behaviour was completely age appropriate...playing instead of cleaning while unsupervised) *and* that it isn't really NORMAL for a 3 year old to want to make his mamma disappear. Ninera > > Subject: Re: BPD and babies > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 7:28 PM > Lol! Love it! What a brave and > smart little 3-year-old. If I'd said anything even > remotely like that to my nada, I would have gotten slapped > in the face, hard, or spanked as well as screamed at and > gripped tightly by the shoulders and shaken. Talking > back to nada was forbidden. > -Annie > > > > > > What is it with cleaning rooms? > > > > When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his > room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. > She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she > yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no > idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of > horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She > finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, > and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you > were a balloon, I would pop you. " > > > > Hehehehehe. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 He was pretty safe...for the most part, he has always been the golden child. If *I* had done that, not only would there have been hell to pay at the time, the story would have been used in perpetuity as " proof " of my abusive nature. (Because, of course, a child who thinks for herself is...by nada definition...abusive!). My brother, on the other hand, is the can-do-almost-no-wrong child...so it is touted as proof of his clever, comedic genius. Which, I give him credit...he's pretty damn funny and that line is *classic*. Nada just misses the whole point that yelling at a 3 year old child for 45 minutes is inappropriate (especially considering that his behaviour was completely age appropriate...playing instead of cleaning while unsupervised) *and* that it isn't really NORMAL for a 3 year old to want to make his mamma disappear. Ninera > > Subject: Re: BPD and babies > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 7:28 PM > Lol! Love it! What a brave and > smart little 3-year-old. If I'd said anything even > remotely like that to my nada, I would have gotten slapped > in the face, hard, or spanked as well as screamed at and > gripped tightly by the shoulders and shaken. Talking > back to nada was forbidden. > -Annie > > > > > > What is it with cleaning rooms? > > > > When my brother was 3...nada sent him to clean his > room. Being three...he obviously got distracted. > She went into a rage...by her own telling of the story she > yelled at him for 45 minutes. (Seriously...she has no > idea how wrong that is...and has never noticed the look of > horror on her listener's faces when she tells it!) She > finally stopped, asked him what he had to say for himself, > and with all the calmness in the world he answered " If you > were a balloon, I would pop you. " > > > > Hehehehehe. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 I was colicky as well and it was just my nada and NPD father, and from the stories I've heard there was nothing and no one that could stop me from crying. My nada tells stories of breaking down crying herself, my father leaving the house and even him shaking me because of the crying. My theory is that even as a baby I knew that I knew I was in a bad situation. My nada casually tells these stories like she has no clue in the world it would be upsetting to me to hear them - or that I put them in my mental stockpile of proof that her stories I was a happy baby just can't be true. As for her blaming innocent actions, she told me I never liked to be held and always squirmed away from her. Said it was just because I was an " active " baby. In her world the fiction that I was perfectly happy and she was a perfect mother had to be maintained. > > my nada told me I've always hated her...I was a colicky baby and my oldest > sister was the only one who could get me to stop crying... > > Jackie > > > > >I once mentioned to nada that my infant son liked pulling my hair. I also > >mentioned that I was sure he didn't realize that it hurt me. Nada looked > >skeptical and said, " not yet " in an ominous tone. Now that he has a few > >teeth, she keeps asking if he's bit me yet and then tells stories of times > >her kids bit her. It makes me wonder how young were we when nada started > >to think we were out to get her. Has anyone else seen evidence of your > >nada attributing malicious intent to an infant? > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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