Re: A little freak out: (post weight loss binges)

[Guest guest]

I absolutely agree, and because I did lose weight every month for six months (just a few pounds, but that was enough to set off all the diet thoughts), I decided not to weigh myself for the first six months of this year. Even when we don't mean to lose weight, it is so cultural, it's very hard to get away from connecting the scale number and all the diets and I think you are right, Sara, that it makes us feel like we betrayed our larger body somehow.

~

[Guest guest]

I think, too, that when I celebrate weight loss, I feel like then there must have been something that I didn't like about our body the way it was before, even when I was practicing acceptance. And so then there's some sort of rebellious reaction, because our inner Wild Child doesn't like feeling that she wasn't just fine the way she was before.

 

I absolutely agree, and because I did lose weight every month for six months (just a few pounds, but that was enough to set off all the diet thoughts), I decided not to weigh myself for the first six months of this year.  Even when we don't mean to lose weight, it is so cultural, it's very hard to get away from connecting the scale number and all the diets and I think you are right, Sara, that it makes us feel like we betrayed our larger body somehow.

~

--

[Guest guest]

Sara wrote:

" I think the celebration of the loss takes me away from loving my body the same

at any weight. "

I totally experience the same thing. When I had lost a few pounds with IE

recently, it freaked me out too. It seemed like it was the fear of " having to

maintain it " (diet mentality) and a subtle feeling of rejection towards my body

before the loss. Almost like to celebrate it means I didn't accept my body

before the loss. I resisted being happy about it. I'd almost rather ignore it.

It also felt like such a pull into the diet mentality of " oh goodie, let's watch

how my weight plummets... " It was so uncomfortable. I didn't expect losing

weight would offer this kind of challenge when I'm leaving the diet mentality

behind. I guess all of the experiences with my body changing have to now been

seen through the IE lens instead of the DM lens. So glad you mentioned that

Sara. It's been a little bit hard for me to articulate how I felt about it. I

just knew it caused me anxiety and a thrill at the same time. I almost felt

guilty/fearful for the thrill b/c maybe I knew it was diet mentality inspired?

Don't know fully...still unpacking this. IE says easy does it. The

understanding will come.

BTW, I just read Geneen Roth's book about eating at the fridge, pull up a chair,

something like that. Wow, was she refreshingly calm, funny, peaceful,

encouraging, and accepting. I loved it and her attitude. Just reading her book

was nourishing to me. Fabulous. So many great places that I'd love to

photocopy and quote to remind myself. Incredibly gracious. Makes me think of

what I'd like to be as a mom or maybe wanted from a mom.

[Guest guest]

Sara wrote:

" I think the celebration of the loss takes me away from loving my body the same

at any weight. "

I totally experience the same thing. When I had lost a few pounds with IE

recently, it freaked me out too. It seemed like it was the fear of " having to

maintain it " (diet mentality) and a subtle feeling of rejection towards my body

before the loss. Almost like to celebrate it means I didn't accept my body

before the loss. I resisted being happy about it. I'd almost rather ignore it.

It also felt like such a pull into the diet mentality of " oh goodie, let's watch

how my weight plummets... " It was so uncomfortable. I didn't expect losing

weight would offer this kind of challenge when I'm leaving the diet mentality

behind. I guess all of the experiences with my body changing have to now been

seen through the IE lens instead of the DM lens. So glad you mentioned that

Sara. It's been a little bit hard for me to articulate how I felt about it. I

just knew it caused me anxiety and a thrill at the same time. I almost felt

guilty/fearful for the thrill b/c maybe I knew it was diet mentality inspired?

Don't know fully...still unpacking this. IE says easy does it. The

understanding will come.

BTW, I just read Geneen Roth's book about eating at the fridge, pull up a chair,

something like that. Wow, was she refreshingly calm, funny, peaceful,

encouraging, and accepting. I loved it and her attitude. Just reading her book

was nourishing to me. Fabulous. So many great places that I'd love to

photocopy and quote to remind myself. Incredibly gracious. Makes me think of

what I'd like to be as a mom or maybe wanted from a mom.

[Guest guest]

Sara wrote:

" I think the celebration of the loss takes me away from loving my body the same

at any weight. "

I totally experience the same thing. When I had lost a few pounds with IE

recently, it freaked me out too. It seemed like it was the fear of " having to

maintain it " (diet mentality) and a subtle feeling of rejection towards my body

before the loss. Almost like to celebrate it means I didn't accept my body

before the loss. I resisted being happy about it. I'd almost rather ignore it.

It also felt like such a pull into the diet mentality of " oh goodie, let's watch

how my weight plummets... " It was so uncomfortable. I didn't expect losing

weight would offer this kind of challenge when I'm leaving the diet mentality

behind. I guess all of the experiences with my body changing have to now been

seen through the IE lens instead of the DM lens. So glad you mentioned that

Sara. It's been a little bit hard for me to articulate how I felt about it. I

just knew it caused me anxiety and a thrill at the same time. I almost felt

guilty/fearful for the thrill b/c maybe I knew it was diet mentality inspired?

Don't know fully...still unpacking this. IE says easy does it. The

understanding will come.

BTW, I just read Geneen Roth's book about eating at the fridge, pull up a chair,

something like that. Wow, was she refreshingly calm, funny, peaceful,

encouraging, and accepting. I loved it and her attitude. Just reading her book

was nourishing to me. Fabulous. So many great places that I'd love to

photocopy and quote to remind myself. Incredibly gracious. Makes me think of

what I'd like to be as a mom or maybe wanted from a mom.

[Guest guest]

Speaking of moms.......

I'm realizing how many diet mentality messages there are in the world of

children. Their shows, commercials, other people. They're barraged with food

labeling (good and bad), constantly told how often they should eat different

types of food, how often they should get activity.

And I'm sad to see them internalizing these messages. My husband sees them as

good messages and reinforces them. I undermine them every chance I get. A few

days ago my 5 year old son told me that coke was sugary, and he wasn't drinking

anymore of it. I told him that there are no good or bad foods, and if he enjoys

drinking it that that's his body's way of saying it's okay. I explained that

his body knows what to do, and that it was unhealthy to label foods as good or

bad.

He still didn't want coke, which lasted about a half a day. After that, he

drank it again, but in much bigger volumes for a couple of days. It made me sad

to realize that that might have been his first experience in restricting at such

a young age.

I'm realizing that I'm going to have to very consistently talk about these

things with my kids to counteract this constant message that they're getting.

I don't want it to seem like I think nutritional information is bad. I always

talk to my kids about which foods have high nutrient value. We talk about how

he feels after he eats or drinks, but neither of my children have ever had a

stomach ache or felt bad after eating. They never ever overeat. I also need

them to know they shouldn't feel guilty about ingesting surar or fat, too.

Has anyone else had experiences like these?

Thanks,

Sara

> " I think the celebration of the loss takes me away from loving my body the

same at any weight. "

>

> I totally experience the same thing. When I had lost a few pounds with IE

recently, it freaked me out too. It seemed like it was the fear of " having to

maintain it " (diet mentality) and a subtle feeling of rejection towards my body

before the loss. Almost like to celebrate it means I didn't accept my body

before the loss. I resisted being happy about it. I'd almost rather ignore it.

It also felt like such a pull into the diet mentality of " oh goodie, let's watch

how my weight plummets... " It was so uncomfortable. I didn't expect losing

weight would offer this kind of challenge when I'm leaving the diet mentality

behind. I guess all of the experiences with my body changing have to now been

seen through the IE lens instead of the DM lens. So glad you mentioned that

Sara. It's been a little bit hard for me to articulate how I felt about it. I

just knew it caused me anxiety and a thrill at the same time. I almost felt

guilty/fearful for the thrill b/c maybe I knew it was diet mentality inspired?

Don't know fully...still unpacking this. IE says easy does it. The

understanding will come.

>

> BTW, I just read Geneen Roth's book about eating at the fridge, pull up a

chair, something like that. Wow, was she refreshingly calm, funny, peaceful,

encouraging, and accepting. I loved it and her attitude. Just reading her book

was nourishing to me. Fabulous. So many great places that I'd love to

photocopy and quote to remind myself. Incredibly gracious. Makes me think of

what I'd like to be as a mom or maybe wanted from a mom.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I was thinking further about this tonight and I had the thought that my

anxiety/fear is about the belief that I am untrustworthy and untrustworthy with

food. This is huge for me. It's not true. I've acted in an untrustworthy

manner, but I am trustworthy.

> " I think the celebration of the loss takes me away from loving my body the

same at any weight. "

>

> I totally experience the same thing. When I had lost a few pounds with IE

recently, it freaked me out too. It seemed like it was the fear of " having to

maintain it " (diet mentality) and a subtle feeling of rejection towards my body

before the loss. Almost like to celebrate it means I didn't accept my body

before the loss. I resisted being happy about it. I'd almost rather ignore it.

It also felt like such a pull into the diet mentality of " oh goodie, let's watch

how my weight plummets... " It was so uncomfortable. I didn't expect losing

weight would offer this kind of challenge when I'm leaving the diet mentality

behind. I guess all of the experiences with my body changing have to now been

seen through the IE lens instead of the DM lens. So glad you mentioned that

Sara. It's been a little bit hard for me to articulate how I felt about it. I

just knew it caused me anxiety and a thrill at the same time. I almost felt

guilty/fearful for the thrill b/c maybe I knew it was diet mentality inspired?

Don't know fully...still unpacking this. IE says easy does it. The

understanding will come.

>

> BTW, I just read Geneen Roth's book about eating at the fridge, pull up a

chair, something like that. Wow, was she refreshingly calm, funny, peaceful,

encouraging, and accepting. I loved it and her attitude. Just reading her book

was nourishing to me. Fabulous. So many great places that I'd love to

photocopy and quote to remind myself. Incredibly gracious. Makes me think of

what I'd like to be as a mom or maybe wanted from a mom.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for response and sharing everyone's experiences and feels. This

has all become clear with my issues. It's not my body that I hate. I love my

body in any weights. Though I have finally had make time to think through what

cause me feel freak out.

It was that foster mother of mine. When I lost my mother at 12 years old. This

foster mother push too hard and too fast onto me over my weights and how I look

such as that. She even threated me if I dare gain weights then there would be

hell price to pay. She don't even reward or said how she was proud of me for my

work hard to get weight loss down to get my health back under control once

again. Not one positive from that foster mother as I have had lived with her

for almost 3 years before my father come get me to live with him. I lost 50 lbs

in 3 months that time with the foster mother.

Now I know what's really bother me this much. I am starting to feel more calm

down because knowing that foster mother is not around me anymore to said all

negatives to me ever again.

Eliza

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for response and sharing everyone's experiences and feels. This

has all become clear with my issues. It's not my body that I hate. I love my

body in any weights. Though I have finally had make time to think through what

cause me feel freak out.

It was that foster mother of mine. When I lost my mother at 12 years old. This

foster mother push too hard and too fast onto me over my weights and how I look

such as that. She even threated me if I dare gain weights then there would be

hell price to pay. She don't even reward or said how she was proud of me for my

work hard to get weight loss down to get my health back under control once

again. Not one positive from that foster mother as I have had lived with her

for almost 3 years before my father come get me to live with him. I lost 50 lbs

in 3 months that time with the foster mother.

Now I know what's really bother me this much. I am starting to feel more calm

down because knowing that foster mother is not around me anymore to said all

negatives to me ever again.

Eliza

[Guest guest]

Hi :

A huge part of my IE journey was learning that my body was trustworthy, even

when my mind chose to ignore my body sensations. I learned that I could trust my

body to tell me when, what and how much to eat to maintain a healthy weight,

even after years when my mind made unhealthy decisions for my body. Eventually I

learned to trust my body to teach my mind what was best for my body.

SUE

> > " I think the celebration of the loss takes me away from loving my body the

same at any weight. "

> >

> > I totally experience the same thing. When I had lost a few pounds with IE

recently, it freaked me out too. It seemed like it was the fear of " having to

maintain it " (diet mentality) and a subtle feeling of rejection towards my body

before the loss. Almost like to celebrate it means I didn't accept my body

before the loss. I resisted being happy about it. I'd almost rather ignore it.

It also felt like such a pull into the diet mentality of " oh goodie, let's watch

how my weight plummets... " It was so uncomfortable. I didn't expect losing

weight would offer this kind of challenge when I'm leaving the diet mentality

behind. I guess all of the experiences with my body changing have to now been

seen through the IE lens instead of the DM lens. So glad you mentioned that

Sara. It's been a little bit hard for me to articulate how I felt about it. I

just knew it caused me anxiety and a thrill at the same time. I almost felt

guilty/fearful for the thrill b/c maybe I knew it was diet mentality inspired?

Don't know fully...still unpacking this. IE says easy does it. The

understanding will come.

> >

> > BTW, I just read Geneen Roth's book about eating at the fridge, pull up a

chair, something like that. Wow, was she refreshingly calm, funny, peaceful,

encouraging, and accepting. I loved it and her attitude. Just reading her book

was nourishing to me. Fabulous. So many great places that I'd love to

photocopy and quote to remind myself. Incredibly gracious. Makes me think of

what I'd like to be as a mom or maybe wanted from a mom.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Eliza:

I'm very impressed with your insight about why weight loss 'freaked you out'.

Understanding the connection between how your foster mother treated you and

losing weight is very powerful. I'm so glad you can use that understanding to

feel more comfortable about healthy weight loss that comes with practicing IE.

SUE

>

> Thank you all for response and sharing everyone's experiences and feels. This

has all become clear with my issues. It's not my body that I hate. I love my

body in any weights. Though I have finally had make time to think through what

cause me feel freak out.

>

> It was that foster mother of mine. When I lost my mother at 12 years old.

This foster mother push too hard and too fast onto me over my weights and how I

look such as that. She even threated me if I dare gain weights then there would

be hell price to pay. She don't even reward or said how she was proud of me for

my work hard to get weight loss down to get my health back under control once

again. Not one positive from that foster mother as I have had lived with her

for almost 3 years before my father come get me to live with him. I lost 50 lbs

in 3 months that time with the foster mother.

>

> Now I know what's really bother me this much. I am starting to feel more calm

down because knowing that foster mother is not around me anymore to said all

negatives to me ever again.

>

> Eliza

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Eliza:

I'm very impressed with your insight about why weight loss 'freaked you out'.

Understanding the connection between how your foster mother treated you and

losing weight is very powerful. I'm so glad you can use that understanding to

feel more comfortable about healthy weight loss that comes with practicing IE.

SUE

>

> Thank you all for response and sharing everyone's experiences and feels. This

has all become clear with my issues. It's not my body that I hate. I love my

body in any weights. Though I have finally had make time to think through what

cause me feel freak out.

>

> It was that foster mother of mine. When I lost my mother at 12 years old.

This foster mother push too hard and too fast onto me over my weights and how I

look such as that. She even threated me if I dare gain weights then there would

be hell price to pay. She don't even reward or said how she was proud of me for

my work hard to get weight loss down to get my health back under control once

again. Not one positive from that foster mother as I have had lived with her

for almost 3 years before my father come get me to live with him. I lost 50 lbs

in 3 months that time with the foster mother.

>

> Now I know what's really bother me this much. I am starting to feel more calm

down because knowing that foster mother is not around me anymore to said all

negatives to me ever again.

>

> Eliza

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Eliza:

I'm very impressed with your insight about why weight loss 'freaked you out'.

Understanding the connection between how your foster mother treated you and

losing weight is very powerful. I'm so glad you can use that understanding to

feel more comfortable about healthy weight loss that comes with practicing IE.

SUE

>

> Thank you all for response and sharing everyone's experiences and feels. This

has all become clear with my issues. It's not my body that I hate. I love my

body in any weights. Though I have finally had make time to think through what

cause me feel freak out.

>

> It was that foster mother of mine. When I lost my mother at 12 years old.

This foster mother push too hard and too fast onto me over my weights and how I

look such as that. She even threated me if I dare gain weights then there would

be hell price to pay. She don't even reward or said how she was proud of me for

my work hard to get weight loss down to get my health back under control once

again. Not one positive from that foster mother as I have had lived with her

for almost 3 years before my father come get me to live with him. I lost 50 lbs

in 3 months that time with the foster mother.

>

> Now I know what's really bother me this much. I am starting to feel more calm

down because knowing that foster mother is not around me anymore to said all

negatives to me ever again.

>

> Eliza

>

[Guest guest]

Eliza, congratulations on the positive steps you've taken to improve your health! Relish and celebrate how good your body tells you it feels for what you've done for it! You're doing a great job, Eliza!

All the best,

Jeanne