Re: Re: So confused...not sure what to do

[Guest guest]

I agree wholeheartedly that this is a scary statement, Josie, but then what's the alternative if we've gained weight? Feeling crummy about ourselves? Or even just a milder version: thinking it's not great, but that we'll somehow get past it? And what if we don't? Are we to regret our whole lives away?

I saw Portia de Rossi on Oprah a few days ago, talking about her anorexia and coming out as gay. She described how hard it was for her to hear her mom to say, "We accept you as gay, but just keep it to yourself. It's private and there's no need to let anyone else know." By contrast, she would see her mom eager to share news with family and friends about her brother's new girlfriend. Portia was tearful as she tried to explain how hurtful it was for her to be told to keep some part of herself hidden, because that meant it was shameful.

Isn't this what we do to ourselves when we can't fully embrace weight gain? If we try to deny it or hide it or regret it or even just not mention it? For me at least, this is an expression of my shame at myself being "that big." It's a red flag attitudinally, because it says, "There's something wrong with me." I can't believe that such a belief can take me anywhere I want to go.

For a long time I would never admit that I had a "weight problem" except on rare occasions, tearfully, and only to a few of my closest girlfriends. Even then I was so ashamed that I'd often later get bitchy and defensive if they so much as brought it up with me again. It took me a long time to get to the point where I could sometimes talk nonchalantly about being overweight. I still can't say I am able to embrace being fat, but I wonder if I could, would my journey be shorter and less stressful? I suspect so, but still I wonder if I even want to try to get there, because, like you, I fear that instead such an attitude would open the floodgates to endless weight gain.

Laurie

Re: So confused...not sure what to do

>

> Don't be afraid of weight gain. Embrace it. Learn to love yourself in this journey and where you are right now.

Wow, that's a scary statement.

I might be able to get comfortable with where I am now if I thought I'd maintain at this weight, but *embrace the weight gain*? Argh!!!!!! Not sure I can do that one. If I did that, think it wouldn't be long before they'd need a crane to get me out of my house. You're a much braver person than I am if you were able to do that.

Josie

[Guest guest]

I agree wholeheartedly that this is a scary statement, Josie, but then what's the alternative if we've gained weight? Feeling crummy about ourselves? Or even just a milder version: thinking it's not great, but that we'll somehow get past it? And what if we don't? Are we to regret our whole lives away?

I saw Portia de Rossi on Oprah a few days ago, talking about her anorexia and coming out as gay. She described how hard it was for her to hear her mom to say, "We accept you as gay, but just keep it to yourself. It's private and there's no need to let anyone else know." By contrast, she would see her mom eager to share news with family and friends about her brother's new girlfriend. Portia was tearful as she tried to explain how hurtful it was for her to be told to keep some part of herself hidden, because that meant it was shameful.

Isn't this what we do to ourselves when we can't fully embrace weight gain? If we try to deny it or hide it or regret it or even just not mention it? For me at least, this is an expression of my shame at myself being "that big." It's a red flag attitudinally, because it says, "There's something wrong with me." I can't believe that such a belief can take me anywhere I want to go.

For a long time I would never admit that I had a "weight problem" except on rare occasions, tearfully, and only to a few of my closest girlfriends. Even then I was so ashamed that I'd often later get bitchy and defensive if they so much as brought it up with me again. It took me a long time to get to the point where I could sometimes talk nonchalantly about being overweight. I still can't say I am able to embrace being fat, but I wonder if I could, would my journey be shorter and less stressful? I suspect so, but still I wonder if I even want to try to get there, because, like you, I fear that instead such an attitude would open the floodgates to endless weight gain.

Laurie

Re: So confused...not sure what to do

>

> Don't be afraid of weight gain. Embrace it. Learn to love yourself in this journey and where you are right now.

Wow, that's a scary statement.

I might be able to get comfortable with where I am now if I thought I'd maintain at this weight, but *embrace the weight gain*? Argh!!!!!! Not sure I can do that one. If I did that, think it wouldn't be long before they'd need a crane to get me out of my house. You're a much braver person than I am if you were able to do that.

Josie

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for this posting!  It was very helpful for me.  I need reminders every so often!Sue

 

Hello Sorry if I repeat anything already posted. When we start to IE we have to let go of weight issues. Which can be extremely hard to do, weigh gain may occur as we travel through the healing process presented by IE. Having the courage to allow weigh gain means taking a deep breath & accepting that it may happen. In theory, health matters not stopping, weight loss & a natural body weight should resume.

If you return to calories then you will indeed tie yourself tighter into a diet mind trap, which is what your trying to move away from. Your also looking at food as good or bad, try to see it as simply food. It is the thoughts you have about the food which are good or bad.

As you have allowed IE into your life your mind will wish to take pleasure from what it has been denied or told was off limits, like a child in a sweet shop. If you say no, it will rebel & make you unhappy. Your fears at present stem from being stuck between the new way & the old way, have faith that eating what you are is part of the process. Believe me you will tire of such foods because of habituation, just allow the process to take place.

You can use each & every occasion to be mindful, eat till your full & enjoy what your eating, in time you will find that your body demands more variety. Let go of the reigns some more. Pam

-- Sue on FritzCheck out my blogs at: http://alifeofbooks.blogspot.com/http://suesresearch.blogspot.com

http://suesretirementmusings.blogspot.com/Check out my books on Goodreads: <

[Guest guest]

Amen to that! Strangely I want chicken a veg and salad for dinner most evenings,and that is sincerely what I want! The more you learn about when you're hungry, bored, etc.. the better you eat.

Subject: Re: So confused...not sure what to doTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tuesday, November 2, 2010, 1:14 PM

That makes total sense re the following sentence: "Geneen says that when we are truly hungry we don't want cheesecake, we want good nourishing food." I totally agree with that as I know when I am eating when I'm not really hungry or for other reasons I want sweet, salty, crunchy or high calorie things to soothe, numb or escape. However, when I'm truly hungry I want more nourishing foods.J.>

[Guest guest]

Agreed! Thanks for sharing! It helps me so much to

hear about everyone’s rebellious phases and timelines. I know that

everyone is different and goes at their own pace. It helps to be reminded

of that!

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mj

Sent: Friday, November 05, 2010 11:05 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: So confused...not sure what to do

sarah, thank you for sharing, it is so

inspiring to hear about the success stories. AND to hear that it does take time

& to allow ourselves that time. thanks again.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Agreed! Thanks for sharing! It helps me so much to

hear about everyone’s rebellious phases and timelines. I know that

everyone is different and goes at their own pace. It helps to be reminded

of that!

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mj

Sent: Friday, November 05, 2010 11:05 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: So confused...not sure what to do

sarah, thank you for sharing, it is so

inspiring to hear about the success stories. AND to hear that it does take time

& to allow ourselves that time. thanks again.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Agreed! Thanks for sharing! It helps me so much to

hear about everyone’s rebellious phases and timelines. I know that

everyone is different and goes at their own pace. It helps to be reminded

of that!

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mj

Sent: Friday, November 05, 2010 11:05 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re: So confused...not sure what to do

sarah, thank you for sharing, it is so

inspiring to hear about the success stories. AND to hear that it does take time

& to allow ourselves that time. thanks again.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>