Interesting Observation Tonight

[Guest guest]

Hi, Josie,

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about having this same revelation while watching the show "Obsessed," which deals with OCD generally and sometimes hoarding specifically. I find it helpful to watch these shows and realize that what these people are doing has so much resonance to what I have done with food: assigning a "magical" ability to the food that made me initially very nervous about giving up overeating. The therapeutic "exposures" on the shows (which involve giving up the obsession--whether it be hoarded stuff or tapping a wall or over-exercising or whatever--and sitting with the feelings that arise from doing so) are very much like our sitting with our feelings instead of eating to numb ourselves out. Fascinating. The really nice message from these shows is that such obsessions CAN be treated by dealing with your emotions. The important thing to realize is that, just like OCD, any obsession (like overeating to numb out) has to be handled consistently by not allowing ourselves to go back to it instead of sitting through our emotions.

Laurie

Josie wrote:

>>>But tonight, I was watching and the psychologists were talking about how each of the women being profiled on that particular show were hoarding objects to either deal with feelings they didn't want to address or to make themselves feel good when nothing else did, and I realized they were doing the exact same thing with stuff that we do with food! Seems like that should have been obvious, really, but it didn't strike me until today. Don't know why, but that's just an intriguing concept to me.<<<

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[Guest guest]

Laurie,

This is the second time I've posted something that you posted earlier! Believe it or not, I actually do read other people's posts. I just have the memory of swiss cheese, so stuff doesn't always stick with me. Sorry! LOL.

I guess we can chalk this up to either immitation is the sincerest form or flattery or great minds think alike!

Josie > >>>But tonight, I was watching and the psychologists were talking about how each of the women being profiled on that particular show were hoarding objects to either deal with feelings they didn't want to address or to make themselves feel good when nothing else did, and I realized they were doing the exact same thing with stuff that we do with food! Seems like that should have been obvious, really, but it didn't strike me until today. Don't know why, but that's just an intriguing concept to me.<<<>

[Guest guest]

Geez, ladies. This stuff is awesome. I haven't even introduced myself yet, not trying to avoid doing so, but just haven't had a chance! And since I am sitting on the floor surrounded by all the stuff that needs to go into my son's backpack for the first day of first grade tomorrow, I won't be able to give a very complete introduction, either. But I just had to jump in on this discussion a bit - it was just too amazing to me.

First off, my name is Ruthanne, I am a 34-year-old Stay-at-Home-Mom of 2 boys, ages 3 and 6. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember (probably started in about 6th grade), and like so many of you, have hit all the major diet plans and even several diet pills in my search for the "miracle." It all led me to the real miracle which happened this past Spring. I started realizing there was a deeper issue, and found myself on a quest to get to the bottom of it...Since May, I have quit Weight Watchers (I'm a lifetime member, by the way), gone to a conference on Eating Disorders (check out www.findingbalance.com), read 2 1/2 Geneen Roth books (the 1/2 was because the library made me turn in WFG b/c there was a wait list for it), and been seen several times by a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and a Registered Dietician. I have logged several hours listening to podcasts (Inside Out Weight Loss by s) and devouring everything I can find on the internet about this issue and that search led me to you guys. And I really like you.

I'm going to have to figure out how to keep up with the emails more efficiently because right now my inbox is overflowing with messages from this group that I can't seem to get to! But every once in a while, I will scan as I'm going through, and this one string really caught my attention.

My mother and grandmother both struggled with their weight (my mother still does). My grandmother was a WW leader. I have her pin. It was given to me when she died - like, "this was something you and Mama Lou both shared a passion for, so we thought you should have it" kind of thing. But I don't have a passion for it. I have an obsession for it. It worked well for me twice, but the most recent trials were largely unsuccessful. I was doing the program, but the weight was barely budging, and it would go down and then up. And I started looking into the rate of lifetime members who stay at goal weight. It began to dawn on me that there had to be a better way. I cried out to God for answers...and He led me to you guys.

Interestingly enough, my grandmother was a hoarder, also. She never got it under control. When I was diagnosed with OCD about 8 years ago, it occured to me that my grandmother probably had it, too. She was never diagnosed or treated, of course. And she struggled with her weight until the day she died. I want a better life than that.

Thanks for all your insights, girls. I hope to jump in a little more full-force when I get a routine going with the school year starting. Any suggestions for how to manage the emails are welcomed!! Perhaps the daily digest instead of individual emails?

Many blessings and thanks to you all,

Ruthanne

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Dawn RittenbachSent: Monday, August 16, 2010 2:06 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: Re: Interesting Observation Tonight

Wow. There's a lot of food for thought and a lot of truths in this conversation. It's making me feel like, "Since I decided to take control of and change my relationship with food, the changes in all areas of my life are going to be HUGE." I just find the ripple effect to be amazing. Laurie- such good thoughts you're sharing. I don't watch (don't think I even get) those shows, but what you and Josie are sharing about it resonates. Dawn R

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Mon, August 16, 2010 10:16:51 AMSubject: Re: Re: Interesting Observation Tonight

Hi, Josie,

I do the same thing all the time! I was actually relieved to see your post, because I got no response when I wrote and thought maybe I had taken the analogy too far. I admit I now am recording both these shows (Obsessed and Hoarders) and making a point of watching them because it reminds me of how far one can go into an obsession. I used to be convinced that I "just liked food," but like you, that thing Geneen Roth says about how you treat things you truly do love was an eye opener. Similarly, these hoarders are led to realize by their therapists that if they really love the things they are hoarding, they would be treating those items with respect. This involves making choices about what you will and will not keep, because you can't take proper care of more than a certain amount of stuff, and you can't even enjoy the things you cherish most if they are buried in a pile of rubbish. Sure sounds similar to what overeating does to our appreciation for food: buried in trash.

All this is really brought home to me this week, because the new rescue ie we adopted came from a hoarder! Poor little guy has no idea what it's like to be properly taken care of. He was filthy, matted, smelly, and scrawny, not to mention terrified at every movement or sound, and overall just plain miserable. He's clean and de-matted now, and on his way to having a very good life. Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? I feel like he's living proof of what a good life can be, vs. a life controlled by obsession.

Laurie

Re: Interesting Observation Tonight

Laurie,

This is the second time I've posted something that you posted earlier! Believe it or not, I actually do read other people's posts. I just have the memory of swiss cheese, so stuff doesn't always stick with me. Sorry! LOL.

I guess we can chalk this up to either immitation is the sincerest form or flattery or great minds think alike!

Josie > >>>But tonight, I was watching and the psychologists were talking about how each of the women being profiled on that particular show were hoarding objects to either deal with feelings they didn't want to address or to make themselves feel good when nothing else did, and I realized they were doing the exact same thing with stuff that we do with food! Seems like that should have been obvious, really, but it didn't strike me until today. Don't know why, but that's just an intriguing concept to me.<<<>