Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 it does need to be that way, but we are so brainwashed from the time we're born, the guilt prevents us from doing that.. Jackie > Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I ran to meet my own needs > like I do hers...Maybe it needs to be more that way. > > Annie I really like how you worded things..it's as if I were talking to > myself:) > > Thanks guys I really appreciate your responses..I went to Barns and Noble > and bought SWOE today and Living with a borderline parent (I think that > what > it's called?) I feel like I'm at the beginning and have so far to > go...but > I feel I'm on the right road. > > Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 it does need to be that way, but we are so brainwashed from the time we're born, the guilt prevents us from doing that.. Jackie > Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I ran to meet my own needs > like I do hers...Maybe it needs to be more that way. > > Annie I really like how you worded things..it's as if I were talking to > myself:) > > Thanks guys I really appreciate your responses..I went to Barns and Noble > and bought SWOE today and Living with a borderline parent (I think that > what > it's called?) I feel like I'm at the beginning and have so far to > go...but > I feel I'm on the right road. > > Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2010 Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 it does need to be that way, but we are so brainwashed from the time we're born, the guilt prevents us from doing that.. Jackie > Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I ran to meet my own needs > like I do hers...Maybe it needs to be more that way. > > Annie I really like how you worded things..it's as if I were talking to > myself:) > > Thanks guys I really appreciate your responses..I went to Barns and Noble > and bought SWOE today and Living with a borderline parent (I think that > what > it's called?) I feel like I'm at the beginning and have so far to > go...but > I feel I'm on the right road. > > Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 well, I would *want* to say, 'because you implied it was my fault or responsibility that you tried to take your life, and that is unforgiveable and horrendously abusive'. Which should be obvious. But since it isn't obvious to her that that is a disgusting thing to say to your child, she doesn't deserve any contact from you, I don't feel. Also, it sounds very similar to my family in terms of treatment of boys vs. treatment of girls. Good for him for stepping up to the plate, let yourself off the hook. Hugs. > > I have a question. I am currenty no contact with my Nada. There was a big family blowout a week ago with her and a suicide attempt. I have not spoken to her since. I have no desire to ever..I feel just a cold empty feeling when I think of her..I don't think it's hate...But I don't think it's Love...It like .....nothing..just nothing. > > Any way..since then my brother has made up with her. He knows she is " crazy " but He has been treat much diffrent then me..she doesn't expect things from him...instead she does things for him..things she would never do for me. > > My question is ..she doesn't think she has done anything wrong..The suicide attemt ...well in her mind that was my fault I made her...She denies any childhood abuse. And even if I could give an example of her wrong doing it would be twisted into something completely diffrent...and she would not be wrong in the end....So when asked why won't you talk to me ..what is a good thing to say? Have you answered that question? what have you said? > > I await your responses.. > > Stefanie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 well, I would *want* to say, 'because you implied it was my fault or responsibility that you tried to take your life, and that is unforgiveable and horrendously abusive'. Which should be obvious. But since it isn't obvious to her that that is a disgusting thing to say to your child, she doesn't deserve any contact from you, I don't feel. Also, it sounds very similar to my family in terms of treatment of boys vs. treatment of girls. Good for him for stepping up to the plate, let yourself off the hook. Hugs. > > I have a question. I am currenty no contact with my Nada. There was a big family blowout a week ago with her and a suicide attempt. I have not spoken to her since. I have no desire to ever..I feel just a cold empty feeling when I think of her..I don't think it's hate...But I don't think it's Love...It like .....nothing..just nothing. > > Any way..since then my brother has made up with her. He knows she is " crazy " but He has been treat much diffrent then me..she doesn't expect things from him...instead she does things for him..things she would never do for me. > > My question is ..she doesn't think she has done anything wrong..The suicide attemt ...well in her mind that was my fault I made her...She denies any childhood abuse. And even if I could give an example of her wrong doing it would be twisted into something completely diffrent...and she would not be wrong in the end....So when asked why won't you talk to me ..what is a good thing to say? Have you answered that question? what have you said? > > I await your responses.. > > Stefanie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 well, I would *want* to say, 'because you implied it was my fault or responsibility that you tried to take your life, and that is unforgiveable and horrendously abusive'. Which should be obvious. But since it isn't obvious to her that that is a disgusting thing to say to your child, she doesn't deserve any contact from you, I don't feel. Also, it sounds very similar to my family in terms of treatment of boys vs. treatment of girls. Good for him for stepping up to the plate, let yourself off the hook. Hugs. > > I have a question. I am currenty no contact with my Nada. There was a big family blowout a week ago with her and a suicide attempt. I have not spoken to her since. I have no desire to ever..I feel just a cold empty feeling when I think of her..I don't think it's hate...But I don't think it's Love...It like .....nothing..just nothing. > > Any way..since then my brother has made up with her. He knows she is " crazy " but He has been treat much diffrent then me..she doesn't expect things from him...instead she does things for him..things she would never do for me. > > My question is ..she doesn't think she has done anything wrong..The suicide attemt ...well in her mind that was my fault I made her...She denies any childhood abuse. And even if I could give an example of her wrong doing it would be twisted into something completely diffrent...and she would not be wrong in the end....So when asked why won't you talk to me ..what is a good thing to say? Have you answered that question? what have you said? > > I await your responses.. > > Stefanie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Change your number and your email sweetie or just delete the msgs wo listening, or have someone you totally trust screen them. My nada may have attempted suicide, I wouldnt know but I wouldn't put it past her. If she did I would chalk it up to fog and on w my day. > If she sends emails or leaves voicemails ect asking why, I would just ignore > them. It feeds into the drama that nada's love, and anything you say will > just get twisted and used as nada ammo when she goes on her next smear > campaign. The more you ignore them, the greater the chances that they will > move on and find someone else to torture, someone who will play their games > and react. She may up her behavior in the short term to try to force you > into her web, but it will let off the longer you can keep from communicating > with her. I don't even return letters or packages, since that would be a > form of communication. Everything just gets deleted or put in the garbage, > or thrown in a drawer if I'm worried about needing a restraining order in > the future. > > > > On Mon, Aug 2, 2010 at 9:27 PM, stefanie_low2006 wrote: > >> >> >> I have a question. I am currenty no contact with my Nada. There was a big >> family blowout a week ago with her and a suicide attempt. I have not spoken >> to her since. I have no desire to ever..I feel just a cold empty feeling >> when I think of her..I don't think it's hate...But I don't think it's >> Love...It like ....nothing..just nothing. >> >> Any way..since then my brother has made up with her. He knows she is >> " crazy " but He has been treat much diffrent then me..she doesn't expect >> things from him...instead she does things for him..things she would never do >> for me. >> >> My question is ..she doesn't think she has done anything wrong..The suicide >> attemt ...well in her mind that was my fault I made her...She denies any >> childhood abuse. And even if I could give an example of her wrong doing it >> would be twisted into something completely diffrent...and she would not be >> wrong in the end....So when asked why won't you talk to me ..what is a good >> thing to say? Have you answered that question? what have you said? >> >> I await your responses.. >> >> Stefanie >> >> >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 > > >Omg katrina, 100% ditto. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > That's what I'm expecting too. She wouldn't not e-mail or write or > text she is too " I don't know how to do those kind of things " ...But > what she will most likely do is call or have others call for her..or > worse show up at my door.. > > On Mon, Aug 2, 2010 at 10:48 PM, Brown > <ivp.love@... <ivp.love%40gmail.com>> wrote: >> If she sends emails or leaves voicemails ect asking why, I would just ignore >> them. It feeds into the drama that nada's love, and anything you say will >> just get twisted and used as nada ammo when she goes on her next smear >> campaign. The more you ignore them, the greater the chances that they will >> move on and find someone else to torture, someone who will play their games >> and react. She may up her behavior in the short term to try to force you >> into her web, but it will let off the longer you can keep from communicating >> with her. I don't even return letters or packages, since that would be a >> form of communication. Everything just gets deleted or put in the garbage, >> or thrown in a drawer if I'm worried about needing a restraining order in >> the future. >> >> >> >> On Mon, Aug 2, 2010 at 9:27 PM, stefanie_low2006 <stefaniejlow@... <stefaniejlow%40gmail.com>>wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> I have a question. I am currenty no contact with my Nada. There was a big >>> family blowout a week ago with her and a suicide attempt. I have not spoken >>> to her since. I have no desire to ever..I feel just a cold empty feeling >>> when I think of her..I don't think it's hate...But I don't think it's >>> Love...It like ....nothing..just nothing. >>> >>> Any way..since then my brother has made up with her. He knows she is >>> " crazy " but He has been treat much diffrent then me..she doesn't expect >>> things from him...instead she does things for him..things she would never do >>> for me. >>> >>> My question is ..she doesn't think she has done anything wrong..The suicide >>> attemt ...well in her mind that was my fault I made her...She denies any >>> childhood abuse. And even if I could give an example of her wrong doing it >>> would be twisted into something completely diffrent...and she would not be >>> wrong in the end....So when asked why won't you talk to me ..what is a good >>> thing to say? Have you answered that question? what have you said? >>> >>> I await your responses.. >>> >>> Stefanie >>> >>> >>> >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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