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Hello Sunny,

Answering those questions was a really big step toward figuring out what the

binge eating is about. All I can think about is, when I quit smoking, there was

no way I would have gone out & bought a pack of cigarettes & kept them in my

bedside table. I wouldn't even have trusted myself with a single one because I

remember the times when I had tried to quit & didn't have cigarettes in the

house but crawled into the fireplace trying to find enough butts to straighten

out. My husband & I were very fortunate that when we finally made the decision

to quit because I was pregnant, every time we were about to break down & ask

someone for a smoke it was their last one. That was 35 years ago & I'm still not

sure I would be able to trust myself with having cigarettes in the house today.

And why would I even attempt it just to prove something to myself.

With alcohol it was a bit different for me, I looked at my behavior around it &

realized that I didn't want to wake up one more time with a headache & I'd been

up close & personal with enough toilet bowls so I promised myself never to let

myself get out of " control " ever again where alcohol was concerned. And I

haven't, I can have any kind of alcohol in my house, no problem. I can have one

drink & not need to have another & that also has been 35 years.

Now, when it comes to food, it's a different story. All I can really say is that

there are times when I can have just one piece of cake & leave it at that &

there are times, like yesterday & today, where I will knowingly walk back &

forth to my kitchen cutting piece after piece until it is all gone. A friend

brought over a poppyseed bundt yesterday & I've eaten about half of it by

myself. So, now I have to ask myself, " what was going on for me that I couldn't

stop going back for more. " Good question, and again, it seems to go back to

missing my mom, because it was HER friend that came & brought the cake & that

must have set up the " cravings " the " emptiness " that cannot be be filled by

food yet I kept trying to fill that void with the " sweetness " of food. Guess

what, it DIDN'T work, my mom is still gone & no amount of cake will bring her

back. OMG, how long is this going to go on before I get " it " ? Food will NOT

work. I'm a slow learner, I guess but maybe if every time it happens, I post,

you all might get sick of seeing them but maybe it will finally sink in for me

that THE FOOD IS NOT LOVE & never will be.

thanks for reading. it helps to get it " out " . There is one piece of cake left &

I'm going to ask my husband to either eat it or put it in the freezer so I won't

see it or think about it. There are times when I think I am addicted to food

(like when I am trying to numb an emotion) because that is when I am out of

" control " & yet, most of the time I can have any type of food in the house & not

be bothered by it. Very strange. One thing that I am happy about is that I

didn't beat myself up about it & I didn't let the " voice " take over, I came to

my computer & wrote it out. That seemed like a much kinder thing to do for

myself.

mj

>

>

> What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those

> hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did

> you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you

> feel this way?

>

> ~~~

> I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I

> know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom,

> sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my

job

> that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I

> told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that,

> my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet

> those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching

> into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I

> was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored,

> stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug

and

> ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with

paper?

> I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this

> way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A

garbage

> can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt

> like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It

> all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this

> addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had

> given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween.

Since

> then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others

> just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.

>

> I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or

> alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try

harder!

> I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very

> healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this

for

> 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.

>

> Sunny

>

> Sunny

>

> Best!

>

> Sunny

>

> In Beaverton, OR

>

>

> In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> imhere4u1232000@... writes:

>

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Thanks for your honesty and openness, certainly can relate. God bless you MJ.

Carolyn

>

> Hello Sunny,

>

> Answering those questions was a really big step toward figuring out what the

binge eating is about. All I can think about is, when I quit smoking, there was

no way I would have gone out & bought a pack of cigarettes & kept them in my

bedside table. I wouldn't even have trusted myself with a single one because I

remember the times when I had tried to quit & didn't have cigarettes in the

house but crawled into the fireplace trying to find enough butts to straighten

out. My husband & I were very fortunate that when we finally made the decision

to quit because I was pregnant, every time we were about to break down & ask

someone for a smoke it was their last one. That was 35 years ago & I'm still not

sure I would be able to trust myself with having cigarettes in the house today.

And why would I even attempt it just to prove something to myself.

>

> With alcohol it was a bit different for me, I looked at my behavior around it

& realized that I didn't want to wake up one more time with a headache & I'd

been up close & personal with enough toilet bowls so I promised myself never to

let myself get out of " control " ever again where alcohol was concerned. And I

haven't, I can have any kind of alcohol in my house, no problem. I can have one

drink & not need to have another & that also has been 35 years.

>

> Now, when it comes to food, it's a different story. All I can really say is

that there are times when I can have just one piece of cake & leave it at that &

there are times, like yesterday & today, where I will knowingly walk back &

forth to my kitchen cutting piece after piece until it is all gone. A friend

brought over a poppyseed bundt yesterday & I've eaten about half of it by

myself. So, now I have to ask myself, " what was going on for me that I couldn't

stop going back for more. " Good question, and again, it seems to go back to

missing my mom, because it was HER friend that came & brought the cake & that

must have set up the " cravings " the " emptiness " that cannot be be filled by

food yet I kept trying to fill that void with the " sweetness " of food. Guess

what, it DIDN'T work, my mom is still gone & no amount of cake will bring her

back. OMG, how long is this going to go on before I get " it " ? Food will NOT

work. I'm a slow learner, I guess but maybe if every time it happens, I post,

you all might get sick of seeing them but maybe it will finally sink in for me

that THE FOOD IS NOT LOVE & never will be.

>

> thanks for reading. it helps to get it " out " . There is one piece of cake left

& I'm going to ask my husband to either eat it or put it in the freezer so I

won't see it or think about it. There are times when I think I am addicted to

food (like when I am trying to numb an emotion) because that is when I am out of

" control " & yet, most of the time I can have any type of food in the house & not

be bothered by it. Very strange. One thing that I am happy about is that I

didn't beat myself up about it & I didn't let the " voice " take over, I came to

my computer & wrote it out. That seemed like a much kinder thing to do for

myself.

>

> mj

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Thanks for your honesty and openness, certainly can relate. God bless you MJ.

Carolyn

>

> Hello Sunny,

>

> Answering those questions was a really big step toward figuring out what the

binge eating is about. All I can think about is, when I quit smoking, there was

no way I would have gone out & bought a pack of cigarettes & kept them in my

bedside table. I wouldn't even have trusted myself with a single one because I

remember the times when I had tried to quit & didn't have cigarettes in the

house but crawled into the fireplace trying to find enough butts to straighten

out. My husband & I were very fortunate that when we finally made the decision

to quit because I was pregnant, every time we were about to break down & ask

someone for a smoke it was their last one. That was 35 years ago & I'm still not

sure I would be able to trust myself with having cigarettes in the house today.

And why would I even attempt it just to prove something to myself.

>

> With alcohol it was a bit different for me, I looked at my behavior around it

& realized that I didn't want to wake up one more time with a headache & I'd

been up close & personal with enough toilet bowls so I promised myself never to

let myself get out of " control " ever again where alcohol was concerned. And I

haven't, I can have any kind of alcohol in my house, no problem. I can have one

drink & not need to have another & that also has been 35 years.

>

> Now, when it comes to food, it's a different story. All I can really say is

that there are times when I can have just one piece of cake & leave it at that &

there are times, like yesterday & today, where I will knowingly walk back &

forth to my kitchen cutting piece after piece until it is all gone. A friend

brought over a poppyseed bundt yesterday & I've eaten about half of it by

myself. So, now I have to ask myself, " what was going on for me that I couldn't

stop going back for more. " Good question, and again, it seems to go back to

missing my mom, because it was HER friend that came & brought the cake & that

must have set up the " cravings " the " emptiness " that cannot be be filled by

food yet I kept trying to fill that void with the " sweetness " of food. Guess

what, it DIDN'T work, my mom is still gone & no amount of cake will bring her

back. OMG, how long is this going to go on before I get " it " ? Food will NOT

work. I'm a slow learner, I guess but maybe if every time it happens, I post,

you all might get sick of seeing them but maybe it will finally sink in for me

that THE FOOD IS NOT LOVE & never will be.

>

> thanks for reading. it helps to get it " out " . There is one piece of cake left

& I'm going to ask my husband to either eat it or put it in the freezer so I

won't see it or think about it. There are times when I think I am addicted to

food (like when I am trying to numb an emotion) because that is when I am out of

" control " & yet, most of the time I can have any type of food in the house & not

be bothered by it. Very strange. One thing that I am happy about is that I

didn't beat myself up about it & I didn't let the " voice " take over, I came to

my computer & wrote it out. That seemed like a much kinder thing to do for

myself.

>

> mj

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HI Josie,

Thanks for your thoughts. It's certainly something to consider. I eat the candy/cake/pie so fast and mindlessly that I honestly don't feel I have emotion with the act at all. And believe me, I've spent many years trying to find the trigger, the emotion, etc. It's after the fact that I feel like I let myself down again, or feel ashamed, embarrassed or what have you. That's where emotion plays a part but it isn't emotional eating, it's emotional after eating. When I smoked, it was often the same way. Sure I'd smoke if I was upset or bored but mostly I smoked because I needed a cigarette. I needed the nicotine. I was addicted to it. And I believe I still am addicted to nicotine and will never be able to smoke ever again without going full back into it. I say I'm one puff away from a pack a day. I'm thinking I will never be able to actually eat sugar again if I can ever really kick the habit. The times I've abstained from sugar/white flour (simple carbs) I felt great both physically and emotionally but let me think I can have just this little bit since I've done so well and it's right back into the vortex.

I'll look at the Kaiser roster or call client services and see if they can recommend someone who deals with eating disorders/addictive behaviors. Just looking at their list of doctors doesn't give much info but Client Services has been helpful in the past. I'll do that this week.

Best!SunnyIn Beaverton, OR

Hi Sunny,My first thought on reading this is that although there may not have been a strong emotion that triggered the eating, the candy is still forbidden to you. Like REALLY forbidden based on my reading of your post. And so you eat the first one and feel bad for eating it, which then triggers the emotion - shame, guilt, self-loathing - which makes you eat more and more. I'm wondering if you had given yourself permission to eat one, without guilt, even if you weren't hungry, instead of telling yourself that you shouldn't, if you would have ultimately eaten far less?Also, have you considered a therapist that works with eating disorders or body image issues? Maybe a person with that specialty would be more tuned in to the issues associated with emotional eating than someone who works with addictions.Josie>> > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > feel this way? > > ~~~> I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that, > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.> > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.> > Sunny> > Sunny> > Best!> > Sunny> > In Beaverton, OR > > > >------------------------------------

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HI Josie,

Thanks for your thoughts. It's certainly something to consider. I eat the candy/cake/pie so fast and mindlessly that I honestly don't feel I have emotion with the act at all. And believe me, I've spent many years trying to find the trigger, the emotion, etc. It's after the fact that I feel like I let myself down again, or feel ashamed, embarrassed or what have you. That's where emotion plays a part but it isn't emotional eating, it's emotional after eating. When I smoked, it was often the same way. Sure I'd smoke if I was upset or bored but mostly I smoked because I needed a cigarette. I needed the nicotine. I was addicted to it. And I believe I still am addicted to nicotine and will never be able to smoke ever again without going full back into it. I say I'm one puff away from a pack a day. I'm thinking I will never be able to actually eat sugar again if I can ever really kick the habit. The times I've abstained from sugar/white flour (simple carbs) I felt great both physically and emotionally but let me think I can have just this little bit since I've done so well and it's right back into the vortex.

I'll look at the Kaiser roster or call client services and see if they can recommend someone who deals with eating disorders/addictive behaviors. Just looking at their list of doctors doesn't give much info but Client Services has been helpful in the past. I'll do that this week.

Best!SunnyIn Beaverton, OR

Hi Sunny,My first thought on reading this is that although there may not have been a strong emotion that triggered the eating, the candy is still forbidden to you. Like REALLY forbidden based on my reading of your post. And so you eat the first one and feel bad for eating it, which then triggers the emotion - shame, guilt, self-loathing - which makes you eat more and more. I'm wondering if you had given yourself permission to eat one, without guilt, even if you weren't hungry, instead of telling yourself that you shouldn't, if you would have ultimately eaten far less?Also, have you considered a therapist that works with eating disorders or body image issues? Maybe a person with that specialty would be more tuned in to the issues associated with emotional eating than someone who works with addictions.Josie>> > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > feel this way? > > ~~~> I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that, > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.> > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.> > Sunny> > Sunny> > Best!> > Sunny> > In Beaverton, OR > > > >------------------------------------

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HI Josie,

Thanks for your thoughts. It's certainly something to consider. I eat the candy/cake/pie so fast and mindlessly that I honestly don't feel I have emotion with the act at all. And believe me, I've spent many years trying to find the trigger, the emotion, etc. It's after the fact that I feel like I let myself down again, or feel ashamed, embarrassed or what have you. That's where emotion plays a part but it isn't emotional eating, it's emotional after eating. When I smoked, it was often the same way. Sure I'd smoke if I was upset or bored but mostly I smoked because I needed a cigarette. I needed the nicotine. I was addicted to it. And I believe I still am addicted to nicotine and will never be able to smoke ever again without going full back into it. I say I'm one puff away from a pack a day. I'm thinking I will never be able to actually eat sugar again if I can ever really kick the habit. The times I've abstained from sugar/white flour (simple carbs) I felt great both physically and emotionally but let me think I can have just this little bit since I've done so well and it's right back into the vortex.

I'll look at the Kaiser roster or call client services and see if they can recommend someone who deals with eating disorders/addictive behaviors. Just looking at their list of doctors doesn't give much info but Client Services has been helpful in the past. I'll do that this week.

Best!SunnyIn Beaverton, OR

Hi Sunny,My first thought on reading this is that although there may not have been a strong emotion that triggered the eating, the candy is still forbidden to you. Like REALLY forbidden based on my reading of your post. And so you eat the first one and feel bad for eating it, which then triggers the emotion - shame, guilt, self-loathing - which makes you eat more and more. I'm wondering if you had given yourself permission to eat one, without guilt, even if you weren't hungry, instead of telling yourself that you shouldn't, if you would have ultimately eaten far less?Also, have you considered a therapist that works with eating disorders or body image issues? Maybe a person with that specialty would be more tuned in to the issues associated with emotional eating than someone who works with addictions.Josie>> > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > feel this way? > > ~~~> I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that, > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.> > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.> > Sunny> > Sunny> > Best!> > Sunny> > In Beaverton, OR > > > >------------------------------------

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MJ, I think you may have struck gold there. I wonder what it would feel like to me if I came to this list and wrote about every day and how I did or didn't go nuts. When I quit smoking, I had a support group online and I wasn't going to let myself ever have to admit I blew all my hard work.

And like Josie said, I don't want to live with never being able to have a piece of cake, like I know I can never have a cigarette. But when you described walked back and forth cutting piece after piece, I can see you in my own kitchen...or is that me I see, doing exactly the same thing. I can even picture the plate the cake is on, I've done it so many times.

So Now my question is, what's the best book anyone recommends for learning and getting into IE. I came here through a different route. I was looking for an active support group for McKenna's I can make you thin program. I spent the money to join his "club" and guess what? The forums don't work. Well, the tapes I got were worth the money but I was looking for an active support group. I stumbled on this one and I'm really glad I did. Now I think I need to expand into what IE is and see what I can learn. I sure need a more realistic relationship with food.

Best!SunnyIn Beaverton, OR

Hello Sunny,Answering those questions was a really big step toward figuring out what the binge eating is about. All I can think about is, when I quit smoking, there was no way I would have gone out & bought a pack of cigarettes & kept them in my bedside table. I wouldn't even have trusted myself with a single one because I remember the times when I had tried to quit & didn't have cigarettes in the house but crawled into the fireplace trying to find enough butts to straighten out. My husband & I were very fortunate that when we finally made the decision to quit because I was pregnant, every time we were about to break down & ask someone for a smoke it was their last one. That was 35 years ago & I'm still not sure I would be able to trust myself with having cigarettes in the house today. And why would I even attempt it just to prove something to myself. With alcohol it was a bit different for me, I looked at my behavior around it & realized that I didn't want to wake up one more time with a headache & I'd been up close & personal with enough toilet bowls so I promised myself never to let myself get out of "control" ever again where alcohol was concerned. And I haven't, I can have any kind of alcohol in my house, no problem. I can have one drink & not need to have another & that also has been 35 years. Now, when it comes to food, it's a different story. All I can really say is that there are times when I can have just one piece of cake & leave it at that & there are times, like yesterday & today, where I will knowingly walk back & forth to my kitchen cutting piece after piece until it is all gone. A friend brought over a poppyseed bundt yesterday & I've eaten about half of it by myself. So, now I have to ask myself, "what was going on for me that I couldn't stop going back for more." Good question, and again, it seems to go back to missing my mom, because it was HER friend that came & brought the cake & that must have set up the "cravings" the "emptiness" that cannot be be filled by food yet I kept trying to fill that void with the "sweetness" of food. Guess what, it DIDN'T work, my mom is still gone & no amount of cake will bring her back. OMG, how long is this going to go on before I get "it"? Food will NOT work. I'm a slow learner, I guess but maybe if every time it happens, I post, you all might get sick of seeing them but maybe it will finally sink in for me that THE FOOD IS NOT LOVE & never will be.thanks for reading. it helps to get it "out". There is one piece of cake left & I'm going to ask my husband to either eat it or put it in the freezer so I won't see it or think about it. There are times when I think I am addicted to food (like when I am trying to numb an emotion) because that is when I am out of "control" & yet, most of the time I can have any type of food in the house & not be bothered by it. Very strange. One thing that I am happy about is that I didn't beat myself up about it & I didn't let the "voice" take over, I came to my computer & wrote it out. That seemed like a much kinder thing to do for myself.mj>> > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > feel this way? > > ~~~> I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that, > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.> > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.> > Sunny> > Sunny> > Best!> > Sunny> > In Beaverton, OR > > > >------------------------------------

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Posted
Posted

I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!

I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour

and white sugar products, that definitely encompasses the kickback of forbidden

foods, but also appears to involve a physiological reaction. I notice an even

stronger reaction with fresh baked goods in particular, whereas the products

with preservatives tend to be easier to resist. Now the easy response would be

to say, " oh, of course, because they simply taste better " , but that is only part

of the reaction. I have researched this issue extensively, and of course come

across many " diet recommendations " of the sugar addiction, Atkins, etc. variety.

The one that resonated with me, though....and please take the " diet " piece out

of considering what I am going to say...is the Blood Type Diet. If you put

aside the " diet part of it " and simply take what is best from it...i.e.

nutritional recommendations based on blood type, I believe it has something to

offer. I have found that the EXACT food recommended to avoid for my blood type

matches my EXACT experiences of either illness or " out of control " eating

(subjective sense of food addiction, resulting from psychological numbing with

food or diet kickback).

While I do not subscribe to the " diet mentality " associated with this whole

premise, as much as I can, I am TRYING to keep these nutritional recommendations

in mind as a part of eating what is good for my body, not what I might want

psychologically. I am not always " successful " , and I don't even want to use the

word " successful " , but when I am eating these recommended foods because they are

good for my body, NOT because foods are forbidden, I do tend to feel better....I

am still sorting through the psychological want associated with the white

flour/white sugar products and not relegating them to a judgment of

forbidden....and I am still trying IE, I know it is the way of peace for

me....but it is hard...on a side note, I keep cycling back through the " one last

time " try for a diet mentality, which is difficult to discard completely as I

feel uncomfortable and ashamed of the weight I am.

I do appreciate you all so much. I do not post often, but I read regularly and

relish the virtual support.

Thank you for sharing and for listening.

> >

> >

> > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those

> > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did

> > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you

> > feel this way?

> >

> > ~~~

> > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I

> > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom,

> > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my

job

> > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I

> > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do

that,

> > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet

> > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching

> > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I

> > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored,

> > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug

and

> > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with

paper?

> > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this

> > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers.

A garbage

> > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt

> > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It

> > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this

> > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had

> > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween.

Since

> > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others

> > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.

> >

> > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or

> > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try

harder!

> > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very

> > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting

this for

> > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > Best!

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > In Beaverton, OR

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > imhere4u1232000@ writes:

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

Bless you , thanks for your post. I have a sister who also follows a

Blood Type philosophy for her eating.

We are in this together!

Carolyn

>

>

>

> I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!

>

> I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour

and white sugar products,

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Posted
Posted

Bless you , thanks for your post. I have a sister who also follows a

Blood Type philosophy for her eating.

We are in this together!

Carolyn

>

>

>

> I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!

>

> I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour

and white sugar products,

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Posted
Posted

Bless you , thanks for your post. I have a sister who also follows a

Blood Type philosophy for her eating.

We are in this together!

Carolyn

>

>

>

> I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!

>

> I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour

and white sugar products,

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Posted
Posted

Hello CarolynSorry if I am repeating anything already mentioned.If you choose to avoid the foods which cause you trouble, you will set them up on a pedestal, which will result in no progress. Ultimately they will still jump up & get the better of you. Denial of a food will give it far more importance than it needs to have. IE requires that you eat what you feel drawn to, be that for emotional, habitual or nutritional needs. It may seem an impossible task to not eat sugar & flour products & indeed to loose weight. Although I teach IE, I also use it myself & your weaknesses where once mine. Habituation is the only way forwards. Yes you may put on some weight as equally as you may not. If you want it - eat it, do not omit yourself anything. In turn do not expect an instant cure, it takes time. I can promise you that in time you will let go of flour & sugar, they will one day seem quite boring. The thing to start instigating is mindfulness. Being mindful of why, when, what, how much you eat - that does not mean censoring, judging or stopping to eat when you fear you have gone too far but simply viewing yourself & listening to what comes to you. You can also use these times to learn that you can eat till you feel full. In time you will be aware of these feelings with the full knowledge that you can start to eat again when your hungry, or even to not stop eating & eat to over full if you wish. Your mind has to know that its safety net will not be forcibly taken, once it is aware that these foods are always available it does, in time, neutralise them. Taking your danger foods off the 'danger / no' list & putting them onto an 'just food' list will create a new relationship with them. All the time your trying to avoid foods they will hold the power which you wish to have for yourself. Take their power away but giving yourself unequivocal permission to eat them at any time, in any quantities.IE is a journey designed to sort out the issue which you have presented. Pam

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Posted
Posted

Hello CarolynSorry if I am repeating anything already mentioned.If you choose to avoid the foods which cause you trouble, you will set them up on a pedestal, which will result in no progress. Ultimately they will still jump up & get the better of you. Denial of a food will give it far more importance than it needs to have. IE requires that you eat what you feel drawn to, be that for emotional, habitual or nutritional needs. It may seem an impossible task to not eat sugar & flour products & indeed to loose weight. Although I teach IE, I also use it myself & your weaknesses where once mine. Habituation is the only way forwards. Yes you may put on some weight as equally as you may not. If you want it - eat it, do not omit yourself anything. In turn do not expect an instant cure, it takes time. I can promise you that in time you will let go of flour & sugar, they will one day seem quite boring. The thing to start instigating is mindfulness. Being mindful of why, when, what, how much you eat - that does not mean censoring, judging or stopping to eat when you fear you have gone too far but simply viewing yourself & listening to what comes to you. You can also use these times to learn that you can eat till you feel full. In time you will be aware of these feelings with the full knowledge that you can start to eat again when your hungry, or even to not stop eating & eat to over full if you wish. Your mind has to know that its safety net will not be forcibly taken, once it is aware that these foods are always available it does, in time, neutralise them. Taking your danger foods off the 'danger / no' list & putting them onto an 'just food' list will create a new relationship with them. All the time your trying to avoid foods they will hold the power which you wish to have for yourself. Take their power away but giving yourself unequivocal permission to eat them at any time, in any quantities.IE is a journey designed to sort out the issue which you have presented. Pam

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Posted

This topic is obviously dear to many of our hearts! ha. I, just last night, made a cake and had a big ol' piece. I noticed that in the past few weeks I have been baking alot. Not eating it - but baking. I told my friend about this (she is my rock and has given me great advice and inspiration) and she said you are depriving yourself! Why? EAT A PIECE OF CAKE! With that said, this morning my body feels like crap. I am tired and my tummy is icky. So what does that say? I guess a couple of things. I honored my hunger and ate what I really wanted. Also though it tells me how bad the sugar/flour is for my body. So I am still a bit confused on the right answer here! ha. Thanks for listening everyone.

Jami

Subject: Re: Sugar/Flour Addict and IETo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, November 14, 2010, 9:39 PM

I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour and white sugar products, that definitely encompasses the kickback of forbidden foods, but also appears to involve a physiological reaction. I notice an even stronger reaction with fresh baked goods in particular, whereas the products with preservatives tend to be easier to resist. Now the easy response would be to say, "oh, of course, because they simply taste better", but that is only part of the reaction. I have researched this issue extensively, and of course come across many "diet recommendations" of the sugar addiction, Atkins, etc. variety. The one that resonated with me, though....and please take the "diet" piece out of considering what I am going to say...is the Blood Type Diet. If you put aside the "diet part of it" and simply take what is best from it...i.e. nutritional

recommendations based on blood type, I believe it has something to offer. I have found that the EXACT food recommended to avoid for my blood type matches my EXACT experiences of either illness or "out of control" eating (subjective sense of food addiction, resulting from psychological numbing with food or diet kickback). While I do not subscribe to the "diet mentality" associated with this whole premise, as much as I can, I am TRYING to keep these nutritional recommendations in mind as a part of eating what is good for my body, not what I might want psychologically. I am not always "successful", and I don't even want to use the word "successful", but when I am eating these recommended foods because they are good for my body, NOT because foods are forbidden, I do tend to feel better....I am still sorting through the psychological want associated with the white flour/white sugar products and not relegating them to a judgment of forbidden....and I

am still trying IE, I know it is the way of peace for me....but it is hard...on a side note, I keep cycling back through the "one last time" try for a diet mentality, which is difficult to discard completely as I feel uncomfortable and ashamed of the weight I am.I do appreciate you all so much. I do not post often, but I read regularly and relish the virtual support.Thank you for sharing and for listening.> >> > > > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > > feel this way? > > > > ~~~> > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > >

sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that, > > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage >

> can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.> > > > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > >

30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.> > > > Sunny> > > > Sunny> > > > Best!> > > > Sunny> > > > In Beaverton, OR > > > > > > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, > > imhere4u1232000@ writes:> >>

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Posted
Posted

This topic is obviously dear to many of our hearts! ha. I, just last night, made a cake and had a big ol' piece. I noticed that in the past few weeks I have been baking alot. Not eating it - but baking. I told my friend about this (she is my rock and has given me great advice and inspiration) and she said you are depriving yourself! Why? EAT A PIECE OF CAKE! With that said, this morning my body feels like crap. I am tired and my tummy is icky. So what does that say? I guess a couple of things. I honored my hunger and ate what I really wanted. Also though it tells me how bad the sugar/flour is for my body. So I am still a bit confused on the right answer here! ha. Thanks for listening everyone.

Jami

Subject: Re: Sugar/Flour Addict and IETo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, November 14, 2010, 9:39 PM

I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour and white sugar products, that definitely encompasses the kickback of forbidden foods, but also appears to involve a physiological reaction. I notice an even stronger reaction with fresh baked goods in particular, whereas the products with preservatives tend to be easier to resist. Now the easy response would be to say, "oh, of course, because they simply taste better", but that is only part of the reaction. I have researched this issue extensively, and of course come across many "diet recommendations" of the sugar addiction, Atkins, etc. variety. The one that resonated with me, though....and please take the "diet" piece out of considering what I am going to say...is the Blood Type Diet. If you put aside the "diet part of it" and simply take what is best from it...i.e. nutritional

recommendations based on blood type, I believe it has something to offer. I have found that the EXACT food recommended to avoid for my blood type matches my EXACT experiences of either illness or "out of control" eating (subjective sense of food addiction, resulting from psychological numbing with food or diet kickback). While I do not subscribe to the "diet mentality" associated with this whole premise, as much as I can, I am TRYING to keep these nutritional recommendations in mind as a part of eating what is good for my body, not what I might want psychologically. I am not always "successful", and I don't even want to use the word "successful", but when I am eating these recommended foods because they are good for my body, NOT because foods are forbidden, I do tend to feel better....I am still sorting through the psychological want associated with the white flour/white sugar products and not relegating them to a judgment of forbidden....and I

am still trying IE, I know it is the way of peace for me....but it is hard...on a side note, I keep cycling back through the "one last time" try for a diet mentality, which is difficult to discard completely as I feel uncomfortable and ashamed of the weight I am.I do appreciate you all so much. I do not post often, but I read regularly and relish the virtual support.Thank you for sharing and for listening.> >> > > > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > > feel this way? > > > > ~~~> > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > >

sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that, > > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage >

> can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.> > > > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > >

30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.> > > > Sunny> > > > Sunny> > > > Best!> > > > Sunny> > > > In Beaverton, OR > > > > > > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, > > imhere4u1232000@ writes:> >>

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Posted
Posted

Hi ,

thank you for your post. I'm not sure why I never started on the bloodtype diet,

I've been on SOOO many others, but I think most of the more sensible diet plans

have some kernals of truth in them, it's just that I used to let my life be

ruled by the diet " rules " & when the kickback hit, it always hit big. I never

could understand why I couldn't EVER go on the same diet twice. I think it was

my body & mind rebelling, keeping me from repeating my previous mistake of

stringently adhering to some " external " ideas about what I should be eating &

what I shouldn't. I don't think I've ever found a diet that said, " ask your

body what it wants to eat, not your mind. " My mind will generally choose the

" cake " whereas my body might choose something " healthier " . I think that there is

something about internal vs external control that I like about IE. I guess that

is why even though I have had about 3 days of being totally out of whack with my

eating (constant grazing in spite of NOT being hungry) today feels like a new

day & I can go back to eating what my body wants when it is hungry & eating it

slowly enough to enjoy every bite of it. To me, THAT is a small miracle. It

seems like maybe this being kind to myself & treating myself with love is

starting to sink in. It's taken a while but I'm starting, just starting, to

trust the process. At this point I'm grateful to have THAT.

thank you all for being here & for your support.

mj

> > >

> > >

> > > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those

> > > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did

> > > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did

you

> > > feel this way?

> > >

> > > ~~~

> > > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I

> > > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom,

> > > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing

my job

> > > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I

> > > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do

that,

> > > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet

> > > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was

reaching

> > > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I

> > > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored,

> > > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my

drug and

> > > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with

paper?

> > > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this

> > > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy

wrappers. A garbage

> > > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I

felt

> > > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat.

It

> > > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer

this

> > > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had

> > > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween.

Since

> > > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others

> > > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.

> > >

> > > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or

> > > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try

harder!

> > > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very

> > > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting

this for

> > > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.

> > >

> > > Sunny

> > >

> > > Sunny

> > >

> > > Best!

> > >

> > > Sunny

> > >

> > > In Beaverton, OR

> > >

> > >

> > > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > > imhere4u1232000@ writes:

> > >

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

Hi ,

thank you for your post. I'm not sure why I never started on the bloodtype diet,

I've been on SOOO many others, but I think most of the more sensible diet plans

have some kernals of truth in them, it's just that I used to let my life be

ruled by the diet " rules " & when the kickback hit, it always hit big. I never

could understand why I couldn't EVER go on the same diet twice. I think it was

my body & mind rebelling, keeping me from repeating my previous mistake of

stringently adhering to some " external " ideas about what I should be eating &

what I shouldn't. I don't think I've ever found a diet that said, " ask your

body what it wants to eat, not your mind. " My mind will generally choose the

" cake " whereas my body might choose something " healthier " . I think that there is

something about internal vs external control that I like about IE. I guess that

is why even though I have had about 3 days of being totally out of whack with my

eating (constant grazing in spite of NOT being hungry) today feels like a new

day & I can go back to eating what my body wants when it is hungry & eating it

slowly enough to enjoy every bite of it. To me, THAT is a small miracle. It

seems like maybe this being kind to myself & treating myself with love is

starting to sink in. It's taken a while but I'm starting, just starting, to

trust the process. At this point I'm grateful to have THAT.

thank you all for being here & for your support.

mj

> > >

> > >

> > > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those

> > > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did

> > > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did

you

> > > feel this way?

> > >

> > > ~~~

> > > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I

> > > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom,

> > > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing

my job

> > > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I

> > > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do

that,

> > > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet

> > > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was

reaching

> > > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I

> > > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored,

> > > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my

drug and

> > > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with

paper?

> > > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this

> > > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy

wrappers. A garbage

> > > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I

felt

> > > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat.

It

> > > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer

this

> > > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had

> > > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween.

Since

> > > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others

> > > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.

> > >

> > > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or

> > > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try

harder!

> > > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very

> > > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting

this for

> > > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.

> > >

> > > Sunny

> > >

> > > Sunny

> > >

> > > Best!

> > >

> > > Sunny

> > >

> > > In Beaverton, OR

> > >

> > >

> > > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > > imhere4u1232000@ writes:

> > >

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

What would happen if you gave yourself permission to eat that candy?

It sounds to me like you keep trying to prevent yourself from eating it. But by

telling yourself your shoudn't/can't have the candy then you will want it. But

if you instead, tell yourself you can a piece of candy when you feel hungry,

then you stop the deprivation/eat/guilt cycle.

I believe there are postings from a while ago on the topic of addiction to

sugar. I believe Gillian, our dear moderator, has responded to some previous

postings on the subject. You might want to try and check out the archives. You

might find some good info on the topic.

Alana

> >

> > Carolyn, I'm so glad you said this. I too am a sugar/flour addict. The

> > guys at work bring their kids excess halloween candy to me and I put it in

a

> > bowl on the table just outside my office, but the rest of the big bag gets

> > kept in a drawer in a filing cabinet until the bowl needs to be refilled.

> > For a couple days I did fine. Then suddenly one day I had several of the

> > mini candy bars. I mean like 12. The next day I swore, none for me...I

> > have cea and one of my triggers is chocolate. My face was already

> > breaking out from all of the candy around Halloween. I did ok until mid

> > afternoon and I scooped up a big handful of the little candy bars again.

When I

> > went to throw away the last wrapper I noticed how big the pile of wrappers

> > was in my otherwise empty trash can. I counted 15 wrappers that I could

see!

> > Then I put some paper in the trash to cover up the wrappers because I

> > didn't want out housekeepers to see all that I ate in one day. That is an

> > eating disorder. The only part of IE I really get and get well, is to eat

> > anything I really want. Eat slowly? Eat only when hungry? Eat til you're

> > full. I haven't figured out any of that. I can tell you I am so ashamed

of

> > myself for the gorging on sugars and it just happens over and over. I quit

> > smoking 5 years ago with almost no trouble after 32 years. Why can't I get

> > past this addiction too?

> >

> > Best!

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > In Beaverton, OR

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/13/2010 5:26:15 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > crdoonan@ writes:

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi there,

> > I have been one of those individuals who has begun the IE program, only to

> > get so caught up with bingeing (on flour sugar products) that there has

> > been no way of being successful in finding hunger. At this present time I

> > find it incredulous that I have gained another 10 lbs.

> > The only time I have known peace around food has been when, for possibily

> > a year, I was abstinent from sugar and flour. If I am addicted to these

> > two substances and am trying to find peace while keeping them in my life I

> > cannot imagine how IE is going to work. I am sinking fast here and wonder

if

> > I should once again resume to cutting out flour and sugar while eating the

> > IE way?

> > Carolyn

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

What would happen if you gave yourself permission to eat that candy?

It sounds to me like you keep trying to prevent yourself from eating it. But by

telling yourself your shoudn't/can't have the candy then you will want it. But

if you instead, tell yourself you can a piece of candy when you feel hungry,

then you stop the deprivation/eat/guilt cycle.

I believe there are postings from a while ago on the topic of addiction to

sugar. I believe Gillian, our dear moderator, has responded to some previous

postings on the subject. You might want to try and check out the archives. You

might find some good info on the topic.

Alana

> >

> > Carolyn, I'm so glad you said this. I too am a sugar/flour addict. The

> > guys at work bring their kids excess halloween candy to me and I put it in

a

> > bowl on the table just outside my office, but the rest of the big bag gets

> > kept in a drawer in a filing cabinet until the bowl needs to be refilled.

> > For a couple days I did fine. Then suddenly one day I had several of the

> > mini candy bars. I mean like 12. The next day I swore, none for me...I

> > have cea and one of my triggers is chocolate. My face was already

> > breaking out from all of the candy around Halloween. I did ok until mid

> > afternoon and I scooped up a big handful of the little candy bars again.

When I

> > went to throw away the last wrapper I noticed how big the pile of wrappers

> > was in my otherwise empty trash can. I counted 15 wrappers that I could

see!

> > Then I put some paper in the trash to cover up the wrappers because I

> > didn't want out housekeepers to see all that I ate in one day. That is an

> > eating disorder. The only part of IE I really get and get well, is to eat

> > anything I really want. Eat slowly? Eat only when hungry? Eat til you're

> > full. I haven't figured out any of that. I can tell you I am so ashamed

of

> > myself for the gorging on sugars and it just happens over and over. I quit

> > smoking 5 years ago with almost no trouble after 32 years. Why can't I get

> > past this addiction too?

> >

> > Best!

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > In Beaverton, OR

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/13/2010 5:26:15 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > crdoonan@ writes:

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi there,

> > I have been one of those individuals who has begun the IE program, only to

> > get so caught up with bingeing (on flour sugar products) that there has

> > been no way of being successful in finding hunger. At this present time I

> > find it incredulous that I have gained another 10 lbs.

> > The only time I have known peace around food has been when, for possibily

> > a year, I was abstinent from sugar and flour. If I am addicted to these

> > two substances and am trying to find peace while keeping them in my life I

> > cannot imagine how IE is going to work. I am sinking fast here and wonder

if

> > I should once again resume to cutting out flour and sugar while eating the

> > IE way?

> > Carolyn

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

What would happen if you gave yourself permission to eat that candy?

It sounds to me like you keep trying to prevent yourself from eating it. But by

telling yourself your shoudn't/can't have the candy then you will want it. But

if you instead, tell yourself you can a piece of candy when you feel hungry,

then you stop the deprivation/eat/guilt cycle.

I believe there are postings from a while ago on the topic of addiction to

sugar. I believe Gillian, our dear moderator, has responded to some previous

postings on the subject. You might want to try and check out the archives. You

might find some good info on the topic.

Alana

> >

> > Carolyn, I'm so glad you said this. I too am a sugar/flour addict. The

> > guys at work bring their kids excess halloween candy to me and I put it in

a

> > bowl on the table just outside my office, but the rest of the big bag gets

> > kept in a drawer in a filing cabinet until the bowl needs to be refilled.

> > For a couple days I did fine. Then suddenly one day I had several of the

> > mini candy bars. I mean like 12. The next day I swore, none for me...I

> > have cea and one of my triggers is chocolate. My face was already

> > breaking out from all of the candy around Halloween. I did ok until mid

> > afternoon and I scooped up a big handful of the little candy bars again.

When I

> > went to throw away the last wrapper I noticed how big the pile of wrappers

> > was in my otherwise empty trash can. I counted 15 wrappers that I could

see!

> > Then I put some paper in the trash to cover up the wrappers because I

> > didn't want out housekeepers to see all that I ate in one day. That is an

> > eating disorder. The only part of IE I really get and get well, is to eat

> > anything I really want. Eat slowly? Eat only when hungry? Eat til you're

> > full. I haven't figured out any of that. I can tell you I am so ashamed

of

> > myself for the gorging on sugars and it just happens over and over. I quit

> > smoking 5 years ago with almost no trouble after 32 years. Why can't I get

> > past this addiction too?

> >

> > Best!

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > In Beaverton, OR

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/13/2010 5:26:15 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > crdoonan@ writes:

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi there,

> > I have been one of those individuals who has begun the IE program, only to

> > get so caught up with bingeing (on flour sugar products) that there has

> > been no way of being successful in finding hunger. At this present time I

> > find it incredulous that I have gained another 10 lbs.

> > The only time I have known peace around food has been when, for possibily

> > a year, I was abstinent from sugar and flour. If I am addicted to these

> > two substances and am trying to find peace while keeping them in my life I

> > cannot imagine how IE is going to work. I am sinking fast here and wonder

if

> > I should once again resume to cutting out flour and sugar while eating the

> > IE way?

> > Carolyn

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

Hi, Jami,

Boy does this ring true! I'm on Day Two of no flour/wheat, minimal sugar, and I have to say I feel fantastic. For the first time in ages I slept like a baby, no indigestion at all, and I have energy out the wazoo. I had a big ole Cobb salad for lunch today and they served a plate of rolls with it. At first I thought I'd ask the server to take it away, but then I just sat there instead and remembered how horrible I've felt for weeks, and my desire for the bread disappeared. Furthermore, I realized I was satisfied after eating only a half of the salad, and I was able to make the decision to stop there. I now feel great--energized from eating, satisfied, and happy. This is a world away from how I felt on the bread wagon last week.

Now if I can just remember this...

Laurie

Re: Sugar/Flour Addict and IE

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Date: Sunday, November 14, 2010, 9:39 PM

I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!

I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour and white sugar products, that definitely encompasses the kickback of forbidden foods, but also appears to involve a physiological reaction. I notice an even stronger reaction with fresh baked goods in particular, whereas the products with preservatives tend to be easier to resist. Now the easy response would be to say, "oh, of course, because they simply taste better", but that is only part of the reaction. I have researched this issue extensively, and of course come across many "diet recommendations" of the sugar addiction, Atkins, etc. variety. The one that resonated with me, though....and please take the "diet" piece out of considering what I am going to say...is the Blood Type Diet. If you put aside the "diet part of it" and simply take what is best from it...i.e. nutritional recommendations based on blood type, I believe it has something to offer. I have found that the EXACT food recommended to avoid for my blood type matches my EXACT experiences of either illness or "out of control" eating (subjective sense of food addiction, resulting from psychological numbing with food or diet kickback).

While I do not subscribe to the "diet mentality" associated with this whole premise, as much as I can, I am TRYING to keep these nutritional recommendations in mind as a part of eating what is good for my body, not what I might want psychologically. I am not always "successful", and I don't even want to use the word "successful", but when I am eating these recommended foods because they are good for my body, NOT because foods are forbidden, I do tend to feel better....I am still sorting through the psychological want associated with the white flour/white sugar products and not relegating them to a judgment of forbidden....and I am still trying IE, I know it is the way of peace for me....but it is hard...on a side note, I keep cycling back through the "one last time" try for a diet mentality, which is difficult to discard completely as I feel uncomfortable and ashamed of the weight I am.

I do appreciate you all so much. I do not post often, but I read regularly and relish the virtual support.

Thank you for sharing and for listening.

> >

> >

> > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those

> > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did

> > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you

> > feel this way?

> >

> > ~~~

> > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I

> > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom,

> > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job

> > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I

> > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that,

> > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet

> > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching

> > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I

> > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored,

> > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and

> > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper?

> > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this

> > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage

> > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt

> > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It

> > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this

> > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had

> > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since

> > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others

> > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.

> >

> > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or

> > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder!

> > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very

> > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for

> > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > Best!

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > In Beaverton, OR

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > imhere4u1232000@ writes:

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

Hi, Jami,

Boy does this ring true! I'm on Day Two of no flour/wheat, minimal sugar, and I have to say I feel fantastic. For the first time in ages I slept like a baby, no indigestion at all, and I have energy out the wazoo. I had a big ole Cobb salad for lunch today and they served a plate of rolls with it. At first I thought I'd ask the server to take it away, but then I just sat there instead and remembered how horrible I've felt for weeks, and my desire for the bread disappeared. Furthermore, I realized I was satisfied after eating only a half of the salad, and I was able to make the decision to stop there. I now feel great--energized from eating, satisfied, and happy. This is a world away from how I felt on the bread wagon last week.

Now if I can just remember this...

Laurie

Re: Sugar/Flour Addict and IE

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Date: Sunday, November 14, 2010, 9:39 PM

I am so grateful this topic has emerged. Thank you for all the postings!

I have struggled for many years with an added lack of control with white flour and white sugar products, that definitely encompasses the kickback of forbidden foods, but also appears to involve a physiological reaction. I notice an even stronger reaction with fresh baked goods in particular, whereas the products with preservatives tend to be easier to resist. Now the easy response would be to say, "oh, of course, because they simply taste better", but that is only part of the reaction. I have researched this issue extensively, and of course come across many "diet recommendations" of the sugar addiction, Atkins, etc. variety. The one that resonated with me, though....and please take the "diet" piece out of considering what I am going to say...is the Blood Type Diet. If you put aside the "diet part of it" and simply take what is best from it...i.e. nutritional recommendations based on blood type, I believe it has something to offer. I have found that the EXACT food recommended to avoid for my blood type matches my EXACT experiences of either illness or "out of control" eating (subjective sense of food addiction, resulting from psychological numbing with food or diet kickback).

While I do not subscribe to the "diet mentality" associated with this whole premise, as much as I can, I am TRYING to keep these nutritional recommendations in mind as a part of eating what is good for my body, not what I might want psychologically. I am not always "successful", and I don't even want to use the word "successful", but when I am eating these recommended foods because they are good for my body, NOT because foods are forbidden, I do tend to feel better....I am still sorting through the psychological want associated with the white flour/white sugar products and not relegating them to a judgment of forbidden....and I am still trying IE, I know it is the way of peace for me....but it is hard...on a side note, I keep cycling back through the "one last time" try for a diet mentality, which is difficult to discard completely as I feel uncomfortable and ashamed of the weight I am.

I do appreciate you all so much. I do not post often, but I read regularly and relish the virtual support.

Thank you for sharing and for listening.

> >

> >

> > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those

> > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did

> > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you

> > feel this way?

> >

> > ~~~

> > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I

> > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom,

> > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job

> > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I

> > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do that,

> > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet

> > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching

> > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I

> > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored,

> > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and

> > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper?

> > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this

> > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage

> > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt

> > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It

> > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this

> > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had

> > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since

> > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others

> > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.

> >

> > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or

> > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder!

> > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very

> > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for

> > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > Best!

> >

> > Sunny

> >

> > In Beaverton, OR

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > imhere4u1232000@ writes:

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

But if you instead, tell yourself you can a piece of candy when you feel hungry, then you stop the deprivation/eat/guilt cycle.

~~~~~~~~~

I am haivng huge problems with eating only when I am hungry. When the huge cravings come on it's rarely ever due to hunger. Telling myself I can have it when I'm hungry does nothing to stop the total singelminded craving as much as I wish it would. I'm hoping I can someday accomplish eating only when I'm hungry instead of designated times, then I can work on telling the candy it can wait until I'm hungry...when I can do it with regular food.

Sunny

Re: Sugar/Flour Addict and IE

What would happen if you gave yourself permission to eat that candy?

It sounds to me like you keep trying to prevent yourself from eating it. But by telling yourself your shoudn't/can't have the candy then you will want it. But if you instead, tell yourself you can a piece of candy when you feel hungry, then you stop the deprivation/eat/guilt cycle.

I believe there are postings from a while ago on the topic of addiction to sugar. I believe Gillian, our dear moderator, has responded to some previous postings on the subject. You might want to try and check out the archives. You might find some good info on the topic.

Alana

> >

> > Carolyn, I'm so glad you said this. I too am a sugar/flour addict. The > > guys at work bring their kids excess halloween candy to me and I put it in a > > bowl on the table just outside my office, but the rest of the big bag gets > > kept in a drawer in a filing cabinet until the bowl needs to be refilled. > > For a couple days I did fine. Then suddenly one day I had several of the > > mini candy bars. I mean like 12. The next day I swore, none for me...I > > have cea and one of my triggers is chocolate. My face was already > > breaking out from all of the candy around Halloween. I did ok until mid > > afternoon and I scooped up a big handful of the little candy bars again. When I > > went to throw away the last wrapper I noticed how big the pile of wrappers > > was in my otherwise empty trash can. I counted 15 wrappers that I could see! > > Then I put some paper in the trash to cover up the wrappers because I > > didn't want out housekeepers to see all that I ate in one day. That is an > > eating disorder. The only part of IE I really get and get well, is to eat > > anything I really want. Eat slowly? Eat only when hungry? Eat til you're > > full. I haven't figured out any of that. I can tell you I am so ashamed of > > myself for the gorging on sugars and it just happens over and over. I quit > > smoking 5 years ago with almost no trouble after 32 years. Why can't I get > > past this addiction too?

> > > > Best!

> > > > Sunny

> > > > In Beaverton, OR > > > > > > In a message dated 11/13/2010 5:26:15 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, > > crdoonan@ writes:

> > > > > > > > Hi there, > > I have been one of those individuals who has begun the IE program, only to > > get so caught up with bingeing (on flour sugar products) that there has > > been no way of being successful in finding hunger. At this present time I > > find it incredulous that I have gained another 10 lbs. > > The only time I have known peace around food has been when, for possibily > > a year, I was abstinent from sugar and flour. If I am addicted to these > > two substances and am trying to find peace while keeping them in my life I > > cannot imagine how IE is going to work. I am sinking fast here and wonder if > > I should once again resume to cutting out flour and sugar while eating the > > IE way? > > Carolyn

> >

>

------------------------------------

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