Re: I married a food pusher

[Guest guest]

Is it really about the bonding or is something else going on? Like is he

jealous or threatened by you doing IE and/or taking more time for yourself?

Seems like if what he really wanted was time to bond with you and he supports

your IE work, that there would be plenty of other ways to bond, like over a

walk, or sitting in front of a fireplace, or snuggling in bed, or dozens of

other ways that don't involve food. If he's insistent that the only way you can

bond is over a meal, then it seems to me that this is about something else.

Either way, if suggesting other bonding methods doesn't work, then the only

thing you can do is be up front and tell him why you don't want to eat, why it's

important that he not push you to eat when you're not hungry, and why you not

wanting to eat with him when you're not hungry has nothing to do with you not

wanting to bond with him.

Josie

>

> Tonight after having a good time at a swimming pool, my husband insisted we

get something at 's and talk. We'd already eaten dinner and I told him I

wasn't hungry, but then he got all hurt and pouty because eating is something we

do together, and he's told me in the past he finds it easier to loosen up and

talk when we're out at a restaurant or something, so we've worked out lots of

problems and discussed issues over many burritos and plates of pesto tortellini

in restaurants.

> At 's, he kept reading things off the menu to me and whining " this isn't

that unhealthy, come on. " Finally I ordered a Frosty and ate the whole thing

because I had worked all day long and hadn't had any time to myself and he was

driving me crazy because he was in a playful, silly,

spend-money-and-eat-like-it's-going-out-of-style-mood and I knew I had a messy

apartment and a sinkful of dishes waiting for me and then I'd have to wake up

early and go to work all over again.

> Grrr. He pushes food as a way to bond, but I wasn't in a bonding mood at all.

I just wanted to be left alone. I feel like I can't ask him for alone time or

other things I need because he gets upset and sulky, even if I try to tell him

nicely, and not like I'm just rejecting him or something. This happens a lot. I

eat because I feel like I have no choice and I hate to upset him.

> Does anyone have any ideas?

>

> McKella

>