Re: re: stay or go away continued

[Guest guest]

Hey Sofia, as a therapist, do you have tips for finding PD specialty

therapists around the country? Thx

>

>

> sorry didn't get to finish my message got sent before i finished typing...

> as i was saying when i told her the news she completely flipped out on me

> and called me every name in the book stating i was abandoning here, didn't

> care, didn't love her, didn't appreciate what she'd done for me, etc.

> it was hard but in the end it was one of the best decisions i ever made for

> myself. granted she kept calling me, showing up at my apartment randomly

> (once my roommate and i had to pretend we weren't home and she finally

> left), leaving obnoxious message and once even showed up at my work!! she

> started crying and i had to sneak to the bathroom w/ her and get her to

> calm

> down to leave...how unnerving!

> after a couple of years i moved to Houston for grad school and of course

> shit hit the fan again!! she became almost psychotic after her bribes

> wouldn't work (she offered to help pay grad school if i stayed local) but i

> knew that i'd rather take out loans then deal w/ her hell. and i'm so glad

> i

> went b/c i got my degree, my freedom, my sanity, myself back and met my

> best

> friend who is now the godmother to my son. none of that would have happened

> if i had stayed. i do admit one of my major supports at the time who helped

> me gain the strength and courage i needed to do what was best for me was my

> therapist at the time who also inspired me to become a therapist, which is

> what i do now.

>

> so my advise is to continue getting support like you are from this group

> but

> also to get a face to face contact who is supportive in your personal life

> who will encourage you, inspire you, be happy for you and truly care about

> you - whether it's a friend, therapist or other person (doesn't matter)

> what

> matters is having healthy connections. Life w/ a BPD person is chaotic,

> disheartening, painful, devastating, tragic, sad, oppressive, scary - do

> you

> want that? if the answer is no then get away and live your life - be happy,

> be yourself, find yourself, do what you love, be with people who love you

> (i

> mean really love you which is selfless), take care of yourself.

> you deserve it!!

> sofia

> --

> --Sofia

>

> " Live all you can

> it's a mistake not to.

> It doesn't so much matter

> what you do in particular,

> So long as you have had your life.

> If you haven't had that

> What have you had? "

> -Henry

>

>