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My Journey Begins!

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Hello,    I happened to  have come accross your site while searching for a book

on Personality Disorders at Barns & Nobel.  I thought, perhaps It would be

healing to hear the stories of others  who have lived with someone with PD.   I

think my journey began a long time ago as a young child when I told my mom " I

wish I had a happy mom. "   Things were different in our family of two girls, two

boys and a mom and dad.   I hope I can put my thoughts down on paper and someone

can undertand:    " I'm so sorry, I hate my mother! "

So here goes;  After a family reunion with my late father's side of the family,

I have found that my mother has and continues to lie about the relationships she

has shared with everyone.  I guess this was no big surprise for me or my sister

because our mom has spent her life time poisoning everyone against eachother.  

It's true, no one was exempt or immune.    There is not a soul on earth that

could please her, and she used religion, minipulation, love and anger to keep us

all in tow.   Does this sound familiar to anyone?

We, including my father, never new what to expect when we got home from school

or work.

It' was a game of " She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not. "   We just had to substitute

the name continually, and keep up with the changes.   I'ts a wonder we made it

through those days.

But I want to tell you that I'm not a basket case and have spent MY life making

sure I did not follow her path.  I have a great husband and 3 kids and we all

just adore each other!

(no...... it's not that fluffy, it's hard work)   What I really need is some

coping skills to handle the aftermath of my visits with Mom.   I hope someone

can understand that after a visit with her I feel like I've had the blood sucked

out me and left numb and empty.     I'm thankful for my family because they

usually quickly fill me up again and I'm good to go.  I'm hear to listen and

learn, and hopefully " pay it forward "  to someone else that is hurting.     

Thank You In Advance !                NaNa Banana   

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