Re: Should I go to family funeral?

[Guest guest]

Wow, that's such a difficult decision. btw, you are my hero for confronting your

mother and sticking to it.

You mentioned you weren't close to your grandmother...are you close to your

father? do you feel like you would like to be there for him? That's the only

consideration I can think of, really. If not, maybe you could just send flowers?

I'm not much help.

>

> Please bear with me in trying to keep a long story short.

> My nada lives on the west coast and we live on the east coast. She was coming

to our coast for business and wanted to extend her trip a few days and stay with

us. I stayed firm and said she could come visit my kids during the day but

could not stay with us.

> About two weeks before her trip my dad's brother died in the Midwest. I flew

to the funeral for two days. The first day my, mom, dad, and I spent together

was fine. Everyone was cordial and getting along. It was actually pleasant. I

found out later that my nada told my sister that I was horrible that first day.

As I was literally getting into a cab the second day to go back the airport my

nada confronted me.

> Nada: If you don't want me to come to your house, I won't.

> Me: I didn't say you couldn't come, just that you couldn't stay over.

> Nada: Why? Do you hate me that much?

> Me: It has nothing to do with hating you it just brings too much tension to

our house when you stay over.

> Nada: Fine

> End of conversation

> My sister also told me that my mom said such horrible things about me when she

got back that it made my sister cry.

> A few days later was mother's day. I called so the kids could wish her happy

mothers day. When I got on the phone she gave me the silent treatment. Since

then (about 3 months now) we have had very limited contact (its been great .

> Ok, finally the question. My dad's mom is only expected to live a few more

months. We are not close. The funeral again will be in the Midwest. DO I

GO???

>

> Thanks everyone.

>