Guest guest Posted July 25, 2010 Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 Hello, Im new to this group and not sure if Im in the right place. I have a parent who is either Manic or has BPD. I have never been able to do anything right. She always is mad or raging. She use to be violent but I left when I was 17 years old. Up and down mood swings all the time, having to watch what I say. She's had 3 suicide attmepts. I just dont know why I continue to put up with her behavior. I live 1600 miles away and a phone call can wreck my day. She says horrible things. Last year I lost my son to unknown cause of death, I guess the attention was not on her and she got mad at me because I could not waive the government taxes off her sprint bill, I was a manager. She then sent back to me in the mail my sons obituary, pictures, pictures of all my children, me, and cut her self out of them. I had a necklace made that had s thumb print in it and she sent that back to. If I would call she would scream and call me names and would not allow my father to talk to me. He fell in July and broke his hip and she tried to block my calls from the hospital. I then was told that I was adopted by a family friend and that niether parent was my parent. For 38 years I had been trying to please her, and to find this out. Well 4 months went by and she called me like nothing had happened except to blame me for the fight. I confronted her about the adoption and she said it was true, then wanted to help me find my bio family. I have found them just a month ago, she knows and now she is being insecure. my father passed away on June 17th 2010, and now this has set her off. She calls and filps out over the smallest things, I hung up on her and shut off my phone for 6 hours, I finally got an appology. So, Im not sure if this is Manic, or BPD? All I know is Im sick of it, and how do i break away with out feeling guilty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2010 Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 I love the " hole in their soul " . I had never thought of that. I love these posts. Thanks Subject: Re: Hello Im New To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Wednesday, July 28, 2010, 8:45 PM  ne, I am so sorry about your losses- your dear son and like all of us a loving, healthy and stable mother. I think the responses you have gotten give insight into the craziness- the guilt- the sadness - the pain when a mother is unhealthy. My mother too would do such mean things and yes crazy things due to her own pain- and hole in her soul. No matter how hard we try- not only is not are job to fill that hole in our soul- it is not our respsonbility too. Remember to take care of you and give you the love and understanding you so deserve. I hear and so understand the guilt- but you lost a son- and this was your mother's response- unbelievable....you are entitled to a life- a time to heal from your losses and yes a healthy existence. I would definitely talk to a therapist to help limit or end your contact with your mother. I know therapy has been such a help in my journey. Whatever her diagnosis- she is not healthy. Find and make your peace. I have learned a long time ago it is our job to do that for ourselves. Keep reading and posting! Malinda > > Hello, > > Im new to this group and not sure if Im in the right place. I have a parent who is either Manic or has BPD. I have never been able to do anything right. She always is mad or raging. She use to be violent but I left when I was 17 years old. Up and down mood swings all the time, having to watch what I say. She's had 3 suicide attmepts. I just dont know why I continue to put up with her behavior. I live 1600 miles away and a phone call can wreck my day. She says horrible things. > > Last year I lost my son to unknown cause of death, I guess the attention was not on her and she got mad at me because I could not waive the government taxes off her sprint bill, I was a manager. She then sent back to me in the mail my sons obituary, pictures, pictures of all my children, me, and cut her self out of them. I had a necklace made that had s thumb print in it and she sent that back to. If I would call she would scream and call me names and would not allow my father to talk to me. He fell in July and broke his hip and she tried to block my calls from the hospital. I then was told that I was adopted by a family friend and that niether parent was my parent. > > For 38 years I had been trying to please her, and to find this out. Well 4 months went by and she called me like nothing had happened except to blame me for the fight. I confronted her about the adoption and she said it was true, then wanted to help me find my bio family. > > I have found them just a month ago, she knows and now she is being insecure. my father passed away on June 17th 2010, and now this has set her off. She calls and filps out over the smallest things, I hung up on her and shut off my phone for 6 hours, I finally got an appology. > > So, Im not sure if this is Manic, or BPD? All I know is Im sick of it, and how do i break away with out feeling guilty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2010 Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 I love the " hole in their soul " . I had never thought of that. I love these posts. Thanks Subject: Re: Hello Im New To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Wednesday, July 28, 2010, 8:45 PM  ne, I am so sorry about your losses- your dear son and like all of us a loving, healthy and stable mother. I think the responses you have gotten give insight into the craziness- the guilt- the sadness - the pain when a mother is unhealthy. My mother too would do such mean things and yes crazy things due to her own pain- and hole in her soul. No matter how hard we try- not only is not are job to fill that hole in our soul- it is not our respsonbility too. Remember to take care of you and give you the love and understanding you so deserve. I hear and so understand the guilt- but you lost a son- and this was your mother's response- unbelievable....you are entitled to a life- a time to heal from your losses and yes a healthy existence. I would definitely talk to a therapist to help limit or end your contact with your mother. I know therapy has been such a help in my journey. Whatever her diagnosis- she is not healthy. Find and make your peace. I have learned a long time ago it is our job to do that for ourselves. Keep reading and posting! Malinda > > Hello, > > Im new to this group and not sure if Im in the right place. I have a parent who is either Manic or has BPD. I have never been able to do anything right. She always is mad or raging. She use to be violent but I left when I was 17 years old. Up and down mood swings all the time, having to watch what I say. She's had 3 suicide attmepts. I just dont know why I continue to put up with her behavior. I live 1600 miles away and a phone call can wreck my day. She says horrible things. > > Last year I lost my son to unknown cause of death, I guess the attention was not on her and she got mad at me because I could not waive the government taxes off her sprint bill, I was a manager. She then sent back to me in the mail my sons obituary, pictures, pictures of all my children, me, and cut her self out of them. I had a necklace made that had s thumb print in it and she sent that back to. If I would call she would scream and call me names and would not allow my father to talk to me. He fell in July and broke his hip and she tried to block my calls from the hospital. I then was told that I was adopted by a family friend and that niether parent was my parent. > > For 38 years I had been trying to please her, and to find this out. Well 4 months went by and she called me like nothing had happened except to blame me for the fight. I confronted her about the adoption and she said it was true, then wanted to help me find my bio family. > > I have found them just a month ago, she knows and now she is being insecure. my father passed away on June 17th 2010, and now this has set her off. She calls and filps out over the smallest things, I hung up on her and shut off my phone for 6 hours, I finally got an appology. > > So, Im not sure if this is Manic, or BPD? All I know is Im sick of it, and how do i break away with out feeling guilty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2010 Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 I love the " hole in their soul " . I had never thought of that. I love these posts. Thanks Subject: Re: Hello Im New To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Wednesday, July 28, 2010, 8:45 PM  ne, I am so sorry about your losses- your dear son and like all of us a loving, healthy and stable mother. I think the responses you have gotten give insight into the craziness- the guilt- the sadness - the pain when a mother is unhealthy. My mother too would do such mean things and yes crazy things due to her own pain- and hole in her soul. No matter how hard we try- not only is not are job to fill that hole in our soul- it is not our respsonbility too. Remember to take care of you and give you the love and understanding you so deserve. I hear and so understand the guilt- but you lost a son- and this was your mother's response- unbelievable....you are entitled to a life- a time to heal from your losses and yes a healthy existence. I would definitely talk to a therapist to help limit or end your contact with your mother. I know therapy has been such a help in my journey. Whatever her diagnosis- she is not healthy. Find and make your peace. I have learned a long time ago it is our job to do that for ourselves. Keep reading and posting! Malinda > > Hello, > > Im new to this group and not sure if Im in the right place. I have a parent who is either Manic or has BPD. I have never been able to do anything right. She always is mad or raging. She use to be violent but I left when I was 17 years old. Up and down mood swings all the time, having to watch what I say. She's had 3 suicide attmepts. I just dont know why I continue to put up with her behavior. I live 1600 miles away and a phone call can wreck my day. She says horrible things. > > Last year I lost my son to unknown cause of death, I guess the attention was not on her and she got mad at me because I could not waive the government taxes off her sprint bill, I was a manager. She then sent back to me in the mail my sons obituary, pictures, pictures of all my children, me, and cut her self out of them. I had a necklace made that had s thumb print in it and she sent that back to. If I would call she would scream and call me names and would not allow my father to talk to me. He fell in July and broke his hip and she tried to block my calls from the hospital. I then was told that I was adopted by a family friend and that niether parent was my parent. > > For 38 years I had been trying to please her, and to find this out. Well 4 months went by and she called me like nothing had happened except to blame me for the fight. I confronted her about the adoption and she said it was true, then wanted to help me find my bio family. > > I have found them just a month ago, she knows and now she is being insecure. my father passed away on June 17th 2010, and now this has set her off. She calls and filps out over the smallest things, I hung up on her and shut off my phone for 6 hours, I finally got an appology. > > So, Im not sure if this is Manic, or BPD? All I know is Im sick of it, and how do i break away with out feeling guilty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2010 Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 You lost your son and your mother has a tantrum. No matter what the label, that is sick and unnatural. How cold and horrifying. Please accept my condolences over your son. Guilt is the worst. Yes, we've all been programed since birth. But keep doing what you're doing. It lifts as you continue to heal. I promise. Know you are among friends here!! Blessings, Karla > > Hello, > > Im new to this group and not sure if Im in the right place. I have a parent who is either Manic or has BPD. I have never been able to do anything right. She always is mad or raging. She use to be violent but I left when I was 17 years old. Up and down mood swings all the time, having to watch what I say. She's had 3 suicide attmepts. I just dont know why I continue to put up with her behavior. I live 1600 miles away and a phone call can wreck my day. She says horrible things. > > Last year I lost my son to unknown cause of death, I guess the attention was not on her and she got mad at me because I could not waive the government taxes off her sprint bill, I was a manager. She then sent back to me in the mail my sons obituary, pictures, pictures of all my children, me, and cut her self out of them. I had a necklace made that had s thumb print in it and she sent that back to. If I would call she would scream and call me names and would not allow my father to talk to me. He fell in July and broke his hip and she tried to block my calls from the hospital. I then was told that I was adopted by a family friend and that niether parent was my parent. > > For 38 years I had been trying to please her, and to find this out. Well 4 months went by and she called me like nothing had happened except to blame me for the fight. I confronted her about the adoption and she said it was true, then wanted to help me find my bio family. > > I have found them just a month ago, she knows and now she is being insecure. my father passed away on June 17th 2010, and now this has set her off. She calls and filps out over the smallest things, I hung up on her and shut off my phone for 6 hours, I finally got an appology. > > So, Im not sure if this is Manic, or BPD? All I know is Im sick of it, and how do i break away with out feeling guilty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2010 Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 You lost your son and your mother has a tantrum. No matter what the label, that is sick and unnatural. How cold and horrifying. Please accept my condolences over your son. Guilt is the worst. Yes, we've all been programed since birth. But keep doing what you're doing. It lifts as you continue to heal. I promise. Know you are among friends here!! Blessings, Karla > > Hello, > > Im new to this group and not sure if Im in the right place. I have a parent who is either Manic or has BPD. I have never been able to do anything right. She always is mad or raging. She use to be violent but I left when I was 17 years old. Up and down mood swings all the time, having to watch what I say. She's had 3 suicide attmepts. I just dont know why I continue to put up with her behavior. I live 1600 miles away and a phone call can wreck my day. She says horrible things. > > Last year I lost my son to unknown cause of death, I guess the attention was not on her and she got mad at me because I could not waive the government taxes off her sprint bill, I was a manager. She then sent back to me in the mail my sons obituary, pictures, pictures of all my children, me, and cut her self out of them. I had a necklace made that had s thumb print in it and she sent that back to. If I would call she would scream and call me names and would not allow my father to talk to me. He fell in July and broke his hip and she tried to block my calls from the hospital. I then was told that I was adopted by a family friend and that niether parent was my parent. > > For 38 years I had been trying to please her, and to find this out. Well 4 months went by and she called me like nothing had happened except to blame me for the fight. I confronted her about the adoption and she said it was true, then wanted to help me find my bio family. > > I have found them just a month ago, she knows and now she is being insecure. my father passed away on June 17th 2010, and now this has set her off. She calls and filps out over the smallest things, I hung up on her and shut off my phone for 6 hours, I finally got an appology. > > So, Im not sure if this is Manic, or BPD? All I know is Im sick of it, and how do i break away with out feeling guilty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2010 Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 You lost your son and your mother has a tantrum. No matter what the label, that is sick and unnatural. How cold and horrifying. Please accept my condolences over your son. Guilt is the worst. Yes, we've all been programed since birth. But keep doing what you're doing. It lifts as you continue to heal. I promise. Know you are among friends here!! Blessings, Karla > > Hello, > > Im new to this group and not sure if Im in the right place. I have a parent who is either Manic or has BPD. I have never been able to do anything right. She always is mad or raging. She use to be violent but I left when I was 17 years old. Up and down mood swings all the time, having to watch what I say. She's had 3 suicide attmepts. I just dont know why I continue to put up with her behavior. I live 1600 miles away and a phone call can wreck my day. She says horrible things. > > Last year I lost my son to unknown cause of death, I guess the attention was not on her and she got mad at me because I could not waive the government taxes off her sprint bill, I was a manager. She then sent back to me in the mail my sons obituary, pictures, pictures of all my children, me, and cut her self out of them. I had a necklace made that had s thumb print in it and she sent that back to. If I would call she would scream and call me names and would not allow my father to talk to me. He fell in July and broke his hip and she tried to block my calls from the hospital. I then was told that I was adopted by a family friend and that niether parent was my parent. > > For 38 years I had been trying to please her, and to find this out. Well 4 months went by and she called me like nothing had happened except to blame me for the fight. I confronted her about the adoption and she said it was true, then wanted to help me find my bio family. > > I have found them just a month ago, she knows and now she is being insecure. my father passed away on June 17th 2010, and now this has set her off. She calls and filps out over the smallest things, I hung up on her and shut off my phone for 6 hours, I finally got an appology. > > So, Im not sure if this is Manic, or BPD? All I know is Im sick of it, and how do i break away with out feeling guilty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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