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Re: Some Random Thoughts

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I sort of did that right before I went NC. I suppose you could say that there

was one incident (A) that set me over the edge... I knew I couldn't continue

contact and would end it soon, and then there was another incident (B) a week

later that made anything except NC impossible. So essentially, I had a one-week

period where she was trying to pretend like her epic-crazy never happened (or

blame me when she could), and I knew that contact was coming to a close. Because

I was so exhausted, mad, and hurt I kind of started " tormenting " her. By that, I

mean that I stopped taking responsibility for her actions:

N: " I will never speak to you for the rest of my life "

M: " If you want to do that that's your choice, so I don't know how you expect me

to respond "

M: " I can't be responsible for YOUR emotions "

N: " YES, you ARE "

M: " I have needs too (degree, health, stress, etc) which means that I can't

always fulfill all of yours too, which is why I wish we had family around

because it hurts to see that my best isn't enough for you "

N: " Why are you talking about family, this is about YOU. Learn from your mother

what family will tell you off for. " ***She's estranged from ALL of her family

save a few cousins that live in Egypt. She has refused to speak with some family

members, and others have refused to speak with her.

N: " I hate this apartment. Gabby [landlord] is corrupt. It's seedy and unsafe,

and the new doorman is weird in the head or something. I just want to get out of

here and move back to California. This place is ruining my business/ " (I don't

have the direct quote anymore, but this is the gist of it)

M: " Well, can you afford to move if living there is so distressing to you? "

N:*insulted* " Of COURSE I can "

M: " Ok, so what needs to happen? Can you look for a place on Craigslist and give

Gabby notice? After that, it's just packing and shipping out [she hires maids to

pack for her] "

N: " Yes, but, I'm so aloooonnnne. What if anything happens to you in

Massachusetts? I can't leave New York unless you move to California with me "

M: " I'm in school. I can't do that "

N: " Then I CAN'T move "

M: " That would be YOUR decision. If you don't want to move to California, how

about finding a new place in New York. "

N: " But I HATE New York "

M: " Ok, somewhere else on the East Coast "

***essentially, she just wants to complain, so I stopped being a sponge, and

just started pointing out her options to her... it drove her nuts***

Oh boy... I can't wait to do the therapy assignment post/meme

-Frances

>

> > Ok here are some silly, hopefully not offensive random thoughts.

> >

> > 1) Start a reality TV show where we group a bunch of BPD's together.

> > Maybe throw in one non BPD. I think this might be the next big TV hit

> > show!

> >

> > 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so,

> > would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not

> > selfish?

> >

> > 3) I forgot what I was going to put down for three.....

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

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Guest guest

I sort of did that right before I went NC. I suppose you could say that there

was one incident (A) that set me over the edge... I knew I couldn't continue

contact and would end it soon, and then there was another incident (B) a week

later that made anything except NC impossible. So essentially, I had a one-week

period where she was trying to pretend like her epic-crazy never happened (or

blame me when she could), and I knew that contact was coming to a close. Because

I was so exhausted, mad, and hurt I kind of started " tormenting " her. By that, I

mean that I stopped taking responsibility for her actions:

N: " I will never speak to you for the rest of my life "

M: " If you want to do that that's your choice, so I don't know how you expect me

to respond "

M: " I can't be responsible for YOUR emotions "

N: " YES, you ARE "

M: " I have needs too (degree, health, stress, etc) which means that I can't

always fulfill all of yours too, which is why I wish we had family around

because it hurts to see that my best isn't enough for you "

N: " Why are you talking about family, this is about YOU. Learn from your mother

what family will tell you off for. " ***She's estranged from ALL of her family

save a few cousins that live in Egypt. She has refused to speak with some family

members, and others have refused to speak with her.

N: " I hate this apartment. Gabby [landlord] is corrupt. It's seedy and unsafe,

and the new doorman is weird in the head or something. I just want to get out of

here and move back to California. This place is ruining my business/ " (I don't

have the direct quote anymore, but this is the gist of it)

M: " Well, can you afford to move if living there is so distressing to you? "

N:*insulted* " Of COURSE I can "

M: " Ok, so what needs to happen? Can you look for a place on Craigslist and give

Gabby notice? After that, it's just packing and shipping out [she hires maids to

pack for her] "

N: " Yes, but, I'm so aloooonnnne. What if anything happens to you in

Massachusetts? I can't leave New York unless you move to California with me "

M: " I'm in school. I can't do that "

N: " Then I CAN'T move "

M: " That would be YOUR decision. If you don't want to move to California, how

about finding a new place in New York. "

N: " But I HATE New York "

M: " Ok, somewhere else on the East Coast "

***essentially, she just wants to complain, so I stopped being a sponge, and

just started pointing out her options to her... it drove her nuts***

Oh boy... I can't wait to do the therapy assignment post/meme

-Frances

>

> > Ok here are some silly, hopefully not offensive random thoughts.

> >

> > 1) Start a reality TV show where we group a bunch of BPD's together.

> > Maybe throw in one non BPD. I think this might be the next big TV hit

> > show!

> >

> > 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so,

> > would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not

> > selfish?

> >

> > 3) I forgot what I was going to put down for three.....

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Very true, Jackie, why wouldn't we have thought about THEM? If we did that,

they'd cry EVERY DAY because we left them. How would we feel if they did that to

us? Huh? HUH? We would be DEVASTATED, so don't we EVER dare to even THINK of

doing that to them. Remember, they ALWAYS know best. *rolls eyes*

-Frances

>

> no, this wouldnt work, because then you wouldnt be there for THEM !!

> actually, they'd say you were very selfish...look what you've put them

> through !!

>

> Jackie

>

>

>

> 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so,

> would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not

> selfish?

>

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Guest guest

Very true, Jackie, why wouldn't we have thought about THEM? If we did that,

they'd cry EVERY DAY because we left them. How would we feel if they did that to

us? Huh? HUH? We would be DEVASTATED, so don't we EVER dare to even THINK of

doing that to them. Remember, they ALWAYS know best. *rolls eyes*

-Frances

>

> no, this wouldnt work, because then you wouldnt be there for THEM !!

> actually, they'd say you were very selfish...look what you've put them

> through !!

>

> Jackie

>

>

>

> 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so,

> would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not

> selfish?

>

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Guest guest

Those seem like fairly rational ideas - I seem to just day dream about

flattening nada. Knocking her lights out, flat out cold. Ohhh, that would feel

sooo good. LOL

patinage

>

> Ok here are some silly, hopefully not offensive random thoughts.

>

> 1) Start a reality TV show where we group a bunch of BPD's together. Maybe

> throw in one non BPD. I think this might be the next big TV hit show!

>

> 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so,

> would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not

> selfish?

>

> 3) I forgot what I was going to put down for three.....

>

>

>

>

>

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