Guest guest Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 I sort of did that right before I went NC. I suppose you could say that there was one incident (A) that set me over the edge... I knew I couldn't continue contact and would end it soon, and then there was another incident ( a week later that made anything except NC impossible. So essentially, I had a one-week period where she was trying to pretend like her epic-crazy never happened (or blame me when she could), and I knew that contact was coming to a close. Because I was so exhausted, mad, and hurt I kind of started " tormenting " her. By that, I mean that I stopped taking responsibility for her actions: N: " I will never speak to you for the rest of my life " M: " If you want to do that that's your choice, so I don't know how you expect me to respond " M: " I can't be responsible for YOUR emotions " N: " YES, you ARE " M: " I have needs too (degree, health, stress, etc) which means that I can't always fulfill all of yours too, which is why I wish we had family around because it hurts to see that my best isn't enough for you " N: " Why are you talking about family, this is about YOU. Learn from your mother what family will tell you off for. " ***She's estranged from ALL of her family save a few cousins that live in Egypt. She has refused to speak with some family members, and others have refused to speak with her. N: " I hate this apartment. Gabby [landlord] is corrupt. It's seedy and unsafe, and the new doorman is weird in the head or something. I just want to get out of here and move back to California. This place is ruining my business/ " (I don't have the direct quote anymore, but this is the gist of it) M: " Well, can you afford to move if living there is so distressing to you? " N:*insulted* " Of COURSE I can " M: " Ok, so what needs to happen? Can you look for a place on Craigslist and give Gabby notice? After that, it's just packing and shipping out [she hires maids to pack for her] " N: " Yes, but, I'm so aloooonnnne. What if anything happens to you in Massachusetts? I can't leave New York unless you move to California with me " M: " I'm in school. I can't do that " N: " Then I CAN'T move " M: " That would be YOUR decision. If you don't want to move to California, how about finding a new place in New York. " N: " But I HATE New York " M: " Ok, somewhere else on the East Coast " ***essentially, she just wants to complain, so I stopped being a sponge, and just started pointing out her options to her... it drove her nuts*** Oh boy... I can't wait to do the therapy assignment post/meme -Frances > > > Ok here are some silly, hopefully not offensive random thoughts. > > > > 1) Start a reality TV show where we group a bunch of BPD's together. > > Maybe throw in one non BPD. I think this might be the next big TV hit > > show! > > > > 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so, > > would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not > > selfish? > > > > 3) I forgot what I was going to put down for three..... > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 I sort of did that right before I went NC. I suppose you could say that there was one incident (A) that set me over the edge... I knew I couldn't continue contact and would end it soon, and then there was another incident ( a week later that made anything except NC impossible. So essentially, I had a one-week period where she was trying to pretend like her epic-crazy never happened (or blame me when she could), and I knew that contact was coming to a close. Because I was so exhausted, mad, and hurt I kind of started " tormenting " her. By that, I mean that I stopped taking responsibility for her actions: N: " I will never speak to you for the rest of my life " M: " If you want to do that that's your choice, so I don't know how you expect me to respond " M: " I can't be responsible for YOUR emotions " N: " YES, you ARE " M: " I have needs too (degree, health, stress, etc) which means that I can't always fulfill all of yours too, which is why I wish we had family around because it hurts to see that my best isn't enough for you " N: " Why are you talking about family, this is about YOU. Learn from your mother what family will tell you off for. " ***She's estranged from ALL of her family save a few cousins that live in Egypt. She has refused to speak with some family members, and others have refused to speak with her. N: " I hate this apartment. Gabby [landlord] is corrupt. It's seedy and unsafe, and the new doorman is weird in the head or something. I just want to get out of here and move back to California. This place is ruining my business/ " (I don't have the direct quote anymore, but this is the gist of it) M: " Well, can you afford to move if living there is so distressing to you? " N:*insulted* " Of COURSE I can " M: " Ok, so what needs to happen? Can you look for a place on Craigslist and give Gabby notice? After that, it's just packing and shipping out [she hires maids to pack for her] " N: " Yes, but, I'm so aloooonnnne. What if anything happens to you in Massachusetts? I can't leave New York unless you move to California with me " M: " I'm in school. I can't do that " N: " Then I CAN'T move " M: " That would be YOUR decision. If you don't want to move to California, how about finding a new place in New York. " N: " But I HATE New York " M: " Ok, somewhere else on the East Coast " ***essentially, she just wants to complain, so I stopped being a sponge, and just started pointing out her options to her... it drove her nuts*** Oh boy... I can't wait to do the therapy assignment post/meme -Frances > > > Ok here are some silly, hopefully not offensive random thoughts. > > > > 1) Start a reality TV show where we group a bunch of BPD's together. > > Maybe throw in one non BPD. I think this might be the next big TV hit > > show! > > > > 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so, > > would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not > > selfish? > > > > 3) I forgot what I was going to put down for three..... > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Very true, Jackie, why wouldn't we have thought about THEM? If we did that, they'd cry EVERY DAY because we left them. How would we feel if they did that to us? Huh? HUH? We would be DEVASTATED, so don't we EVER dare to even THINK of doing that to them. Remember, they ALWAYS know best. *rolls eyes* -Frances > > no, this wouldnt work, because then you wouldnt be there for THEM !! > actually, they'd say you were very selfish...look what you've put them > through !! > > Jackie > > > > 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so, > would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not > selfish? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Very true, Jackie, why wouldn't we have thought about THEM? If we did that, they'd cry EVERY DAY because we left them. How would we feel if they did that to us? Huh? HUH? We would be DEVASTATED, so don't we EVER dare to even THINK of doing that to them. Remember, they ALWAYS know best. *rolls eyes* -Frances > > no, this wouldnt work, because then you wouldnt be there for THEM !! > actually, they'd say you were very selfish...look what you've put them > through !! > > Jackie > > > > 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so, > would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not > selfish? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Those seem like fairly rational ideas - I seem to just day dream about flattening nada. Knocking her lights out, flat out cold. Ohhh, that would feel sooo good. LOL patinage > > Ok here are some silly, hopefully not offensive random thoughts. > > 1) Start a reality TV show where we group a bunch of BPD's together. Maybe > throw in one non BPD. I think this might be the next big TV hit show! > > 2) Has any one ever fantasized about dying to save some one else? If so, > would this be an effort to prove to our NADA and FADA that we are not > selfish? > > 3) I forgot what I was going to put down for three..... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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