Re: Wow, your culture is so different!

[Guest guest]

Oh dude, that's hard. I don't really have that, being just a regular old

hick from the western U.S. But I think I can relate because, honestly, when

you tell anyone that your parent is mentally ill, they always doubt you,

don't understand, think you could work it out somehow etc. My advice is that

you just have to build your confidence. You know what you went through. You

know she is crazy. And you don't have to put up with it. You just have to

try to get to a point where you are confident with the conclusions you've

drawn. Because, even I, the other day, felt like I needed to start telling

my friends that I have a stalker, just in case either something happens to

me, or she stoops to try to get me through them. And they totally don't get

it, don't understand how it could go so far, think its way weird etc etc.

You just can't let it shake your confidence. I'm lucky because my boyfriend

has believed me from day 1, and when I start to lose faith and think there

is something wrong with me, he is there to remind me. If you can find one

solid advocate, or even turn to us, maybe that could be enough? And as for

the rest of the world, well, they can eff off.

haha, girlscout's 2 cents.

On Fri, Jul 30, 2010 at 3:46 PM, cocochanel1005 wrote:

>

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers

> etc, their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign

> to them because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental

> illness and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same

> time as them (40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty

> extreme examples for people to finally get that this is truly a mental

> illness and not just some " weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It

> really sucks feeling like I have to justify myself over and over again. Us

> KOs have so much doubt already, I don't need that reflected in everyone I'm

> seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh dude, that's hard. I don't really have that, being just a regular old

hick from the western U.S. But I think I can relate because, honestly, when

you tell anyone that your parent is mentally ill, they always doubt you,

don't understand, think you could work it out somehow etc. My advice is that

you just have to build your confidence. You know what you went through. You

know she is crazy. And you don't have to put up with it. You just have to

try to get to a point where you are confident with the conclusions you've

drawn. Because, even I, the other day, felt like I needed to start telling

my friends that I have a stalker, just in case either something happens to

me, or she stoops to try to get me through them. And they totally don't get

it, don't understand how it could go so far, think its way weird etc etc.

You just can't let it shake your confidence. I'm lucky because my boyfriend

has believed me from day 1, and when I start to lose faith and think there

is something wrong with me, he is there to remind me. If you can find one

solid advocate, or even turn to us, maybe that could be enough? And as for

the rest of the world, well, they can eff off.

haha, girlscout's 2 cents.

On Fri, Jul 30, 2010 at 3:46 PM, cocochanel1005 wrote:

>

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers

> etc, their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign

> to them because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental

> illness and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same

> time as them (40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty

> extreme examples for people to finally get that this is truly a mental

> illness and not just some " weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It

> really sucks feeling like I have to justify myself over and over again. Us

> KOs have so much doubt already, I don't need that reflected in everyone I'm

> seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I haven't experienced exactly what you are dealing with, but nada's are

really good at hiding their behavior, and even if they aren't hiding it, they do

stuff that is hard to put into words sometimes. Stuff that may not sound out of

the ordinary, but is really abusive.

That's the crappiest thing about nadas....many people won't believe you.

~SJJ

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I haven't experienced exactly what you are dealing with, but nada's are

really good at hiding their behavior, and even if they aren't hiding it, they do

stuff that is hard to put into words sometimes. Stuff that may not sound out of

the ordinary, but is really abusive.

That's the crappiest thing about nadas....many people won't believe you.

~SJJ

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I haven't experienced exactly what you are dealing with, but nada's are

really good at hiding their behavior, and even if they aren't hiding it, they do

stuff that is hard to put into words sometimes. Stuff that may not sound out of

the ordinary, but is really abusive.

That's the crappiest thing about nadas....many people won't believe you.

~SJJ

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My very closest friend is from Punjab. She was born and raised there and

came here to meet her husband when she was 19. I was born and raised in

Sicily. We have shared everything about our lives, thouts, souls,

beliefs. We often joke that we were separated at birth. Culturally we

really can relate to the " respect the elder " doing your duty even though you

don't want to....some of the drama..the acting some people do. So I think I

do understand what you mean. When I go out with my mother they think her

weirdness (if it should show it's face) is just the cultural difference and

most just shrug it off.

We were talking today in fact of kinda the oposite of what you mentioned.

How the American books will make suggestions of what you can say to your

Nada when your trying to set boundaries doesn't really translate well in our

language LOL Telling my mother in italian " When you complain about other

people it drains my energy..I rather we talk about something else..doesn't

work. Do you know what I mean?

Any way..Someone said to me and it has helped me ....what other people

" Think " is non of your business. It would be a full time job for you if you

had to adjust what others think. So just say " she is a mentally ill Indian

women if you have to. If the need you to explain do so..but be confident

and stand firm in what you say.

Stefanie

On Fri, Jul 30, 2010 at 5:46 PM, cocochanel1005 wrote:

>

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers

> etc, their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign

> to them because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental

> illness and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same

> time as them (40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty

> extreme examples for people to finally get that this is truly a mental

> illness and not just some " weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It

> really sucks feeling like I have to justify myself over and over again. Us

> KOs have so much doubt already, I don't need that reflected in everyone I'm

> seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My very closest friend is from Punjab. She was born and raised there and

came here to meet her husband when she was 19. I was born and raised in

Sicily. We have shared everything about our lives, thouts, souls,

beliefs. We often joke that we were separated at birth. Culturally we

really can relate to the " respect the elder " doing your duty even though you

don't want to....some of the drama..the acting some people do. So I think I

do understand what you mean. When I go out with my mother they think her

weirdness (if it should show it's face) is just the cultural difference and

most just shrug it off.

We were talking today in fact of kinda the oposite of what you mentioned.

How the American books will make suggestions of what you can say to your

Nada when your trying to set boundaries doesn't really translate well in our

language LOL Telling my mother in italian " When you complain about other

people it drains my energy..I rather we talk about something else..doesn't

work. Do you know what I mean?

Any way..Someone said to me and it has helped me ....what other people

" Think " is non of your business. It would be a full time job for you if you

had to adjust what others think. So just say " she is a mentally ill Indian

women if you have to. If the need you to explain do so..but be confident

and stand firm in what you say.

Stefanie

On Fri, Jul 30, 2010 at 5:46 PM, cocochanel1005 wrote:

>

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers

> etc, their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign

> to them because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental

> illness and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same

> time as them (40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty

> extreme examples for people to finally get that this is truly a mental

> illness and not just some " weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It

> really sucks feeling like I have to justify myself over and over again. Us

> KOs have so much doubt already, I don't need that reflected in everyone I'm

> seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My very closest friend is from Punjab. She was born and raised there and

came here to meet her husband when she was 19. I was born and raised in

Sicily. We have shared everything about our lives, thouts, souls,

beliefs. We often joke that we were separated at birth. Culturally we

really can relate to the " respect the elder " doing your duty even though you

don't want to....some of the drama..the acting some people do. So I think I

do understand what you mean. When I go out with my mother they think her

weirdness (if it should show it's face) is just the cultural difference and

most just shrug it off.

We were talking today in fact of kinda the oposite of what you mentioned.

How the American books will make suggestions of what you can say to your

Nada when your trying to set boundaries doesn't really translate well in our

language LOL Telling my mother in italian " When you complain about other

people it drains my energy..I rather we talk about something else..doesn't

work. Do you know what I mean?

Any way..Someone said to me and it has helped me ....what other people

" Think " is non of your business. It would be a full time job for you if you

had to adjust what others think. So just say " she is a mentally ill Indian

women if you have to. If the need you to explain do so..but be confident

and stand firm in what you say.

Stefanie

On Fri, Jul 30, 2010 at 5:46 PM, cocochanel1005 wrote:

>

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers

> etc, their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign

> to them because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental

> illness and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same

> time as them (40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty

> extreme examples for people to finally get that this is truly a mental

> illness and not just some " weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It

> really sucks feeling like I have to justify myself over and over again. Us

> KOs have so much doubt already, I don't need that reflected in everyone I'm

> seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- As another " regular old " US-born person, I can only sympathize rather

than identify. I do want to say, though, that in your earlier posts, there

wasn't a lot of information about exactly where your FOO comes from - so there

for a while I was really worried that the cultural thing might come into play in

a bad and dangerous way. I understand that your family behaves the way they do

because of the craziness, but the cultural part seems to give them the idea that

they have a sort of " permission " to do this - for instance, your brother's

overbearing nosiness and his assumption that he gets to tell you what to do.

Lots of us have horrible Nadas and bossy fathers, but for a brother to try and

control his sister - and demand access to your apartment - is just " beyond the

pale " in my mind. I can't imagine letting my brother (who had his own issues)

tell me ANYTHING without me socking him in the nose and telling him to kiss my

American-born, feminist a$$.

Likewise, when your mother insists on finding you a surgeon to marry and keeps

telling you that you must be a certain kind of doctor so you'll be marriageable

- I get that she's a crazy BPD, but this particular form of bullying is coming

from her cultural background, I think. Lots of us have written about our Nadas

disliking our spouses, or trying to interfere with our dating choices, but the

way your mom does it is " informed " by her culture and upbringing.

So please forgive those of us who keep asking these questions - we've seen a lot

of " Law and Order " episodes about honor killings, and we've read the horror

stories coming out of the Middle East. We may put 2 and 2 together erroneously,

but we're just worried about your well-being, and what your FOO might feel it

has " permission " to do when you insist on escaping from their control.

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- As another " regular old " US-born person, I can only sympathize rather

than identify. I do want to say, though, that in your earlier posts, there

wasn't a lot of information about exactly where your FOO comes from - so there

for a while I was really worried that the cultural thing might come into play in

a bad and dangerous way. I understand that your family behaves the way they do

because of the craziness, but the cultural part seems to give them the idea that

they have a sort of " permission " to do this - for instance, your brother's

overbearing nosiness and his assumption that he gets to tell you what to do.

Lots of us have horrible Nadas and bossy fathers, but for a brother to try and

control his sister - and demand access to your apartment - is just " beyond the

pale " in my mind. I can't imagine letting my brother (who had his own issues)

tell me ANYTHING without me socking him in the nose and telling him to kiss my

American-born, feminist a$$.

Likewise, when your mother insists on finding you a surgeon to marry and keeps

telling you that you must be a certain kind of doctor so you'll be marriageable

- I get that she's a crazy BPD, but this particular form of bullying is coming

from her cultural background, I think. Lots of us have written about our Nadas

disliking our spouses, or trying to interfere with our dating choices, but the

way your mom does it is " informed " by her culture and upbringing.

So please forgive those of us who keep asking these questions - we've seen a lot

of " Law and Order " episodes about honor killings, and we've read the horror

stories coming out of the Middle East. We may put 2 and 2 together erroneously,

but we're just worried about your well-being, and what your FOO might feel it

has " permission " to do when you insist on escaping from their control.

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- As another " regular old " US-born person, I can only sympathize rather

than identify. I do want to say, though, that in your earlier posts, there

wasn't a lot of information about exactly where your FOO comes from - so there

for a while I was really worried that the cultural thing might come into play in

a bad and dangerous way. I understand that your family behaves the way they do

because of the craziness, but the cultural part seems to give them the idea that

they have a sort of " permission " to do this - for instance, your brother's

overbearing nosiness and his assumption that he gets to tell you what to do.

Lots of us have horrible Nadas and bossy fathers, but for a brother to try and

control his sister - and demand access to your apartment - is just " beyond the

pale " in my mind. I can't imagine letting my brother (who had his own issues)

tell me ANYTHING without me socking him in the nose and telling him to kiss my

American-born, feminist a$$.

Likewise, when your mother insists on finding you a surgeon to marry and keeps

telling you that you must be a certain kind of doctor so you'll be marriageable

- I get that she's a crazy BPD, but this particular form of bullying is coming

from her cultural background, I think. Lots of us have written about our Nadas

disliking our spouses, or trying to interfere with our dating choices, but the

way your mom does it is " informed " by her culture and upbringing.

So please forgive those of us who keep asking these questions - we've seen a lot

of " Law and Order " episodes about honor killings, and we've read the horror

stories coming out of the Middle East. We may put 2 and 2 together erroneously,

but we're just worried about your well-being, and what your FOO might feel it

has " permission " to do when you insist on escaping from their control.

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, me me me me me!

Hi, sorry, I'm new. I've been trying to work up the courage to introduce myself,

and this post is a great excuse.

My FOO is also Indian, and being told that my nada's behavior is just a " weird

cultural thing " is basically the story of my life. I bought it for a long time,

too. I didn't grow up with any Indian friends (my parents alienated nearly all

of their friends long before I was born), so I didn't have the ability to

compare their behavior with people with similar backgrounds. As a child and a

teenager, I told myself that their craziness was just cultural, that that's what

Indians did. It was only when I met other Indian kids in college that I realized

that my parents were truly in a class of their own.

And to be honest, I've never really tried to deal with it. I'm in college, so I

still have to come home during breaks and I'm not really in a place where I'm

asking for help from anyone. So I don't have any useful advice for you, just a

virtual hug and the knowledge that you're not alone.

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, me me me me me!

Hi, sorry, I'm new. I've been trying to work up the courage to introduce myself,

and this post is a great excuse.

My FOO is also Indian, and being told that my nada's behavior is just a " weird

cultural thing " is basically the story of my life. I bought it for a long time,

too. I didn't grow up with any Indian friends (my parents alienated nearly all

of their friends long before I was born), so I didn't have the ability to

compare their behavior with people with similar backgrounds. As a child and a

teenager, I told myself that their craziness was just cultural, that that's what

Indians did. It was only when I met other Indian kids in college that I realized

that my parents were truly in a class of their own.

And to be honest, I've never really tried to deal with it. I'm in college, so I

still have to come home during breaks and I'm not really in a place where I'm

asking for help from anyone. So I don't have any useful advice for you, just a

virtual hug and the knowledge that you're not alone.

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, me me me me me!

Hi, sorry, I'm new. I've been trying to work up the courage to introduce myself,

and this post is a great excuse.

My FOO is also Indian, and being told that my nada's behavior is just a " weird

cultural thing " is basically the story of my life. I bought it for a long time,

too. I didn't grow up with any Indian friends (my parents alienated nearly all

of their friends long before I was born), so I didn't have the ability to

compare their behavior with people with similar backgrounds. As a child and a

teenager, I told myself that their craziness was just cultural, that that's what

Indians did. It was only when I met other Indian kids in college that I realized

that my parents were truly in a class of their own.

And to be honest, I've never really tried to deal with it. I'm in college, so I

still have to come home during breaks and I'm not really in a place where I'm

asking for help from anyone. So I don't have any useful advice for you, just a

virtual hug and the knowledge that you're not alone.

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good Lord. How do you deal with that? That makes me just want to scream!!

Poor India. To be blamed for BPD. . .

Seriously, I think people instinctively look for ANY explanation, no matter how

ridiculous, to " normalize " BPD behavior. If you can blame it on a culture, then

you don't have to deal with the reality that the person you are looking at is

NUTS!!!

I've been actively avoiding a young man at church. I kindly and respectfully

emailed him and asked him to stop posting racially charged/offensive stuff on

his FB page. He attacked me back through a FB email. Last function I went to,

I found out he had a concealed weapon on him. Yes. At a church function. And

no, he's not in law enforcement--he's a student. Everyone's explanation for

this hot-headed kid packing heat to a church function? " He's from Texas. You

know they are like cowboys there. " Sheesh!!!

What a good post--thanks for bringing this one up!

Blessings,

Karla

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ugh... my Nada pulls that card. She's half German and half Egyptian. Her parents

were recent Canadian immigrants who barley spoke English. My Nada spent a LOT of

time hopping between relatives in Germany and in Egypt, so whenever she does

something crazy and ANYone objects she brushes it off by saying, " it's a

cultural thing. " If I ever objected to what she did, she would accuse me of

being " too American. "

I mentioned this to my grandma (Nada's mom), and she flat out said, " that's

bullshit, she's just using it to excuse herself. " Go Grandma!

-Frances

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ugh... my Nada pulls that card. She's half German and half Egyptian. Her parents

were recent Canadian immigrants who barley spoke English. My Nada spent a LOT of

time hopping between relatives in Germany and in Egypt, so whenever she does

something crazy and ANYone objects she brushes it off by saying, " it's a

cultural thing. " If I ever objected to what she did, she would accuse me of

being " too American. "

I mentioned this to my grandma (Nada's mom), and she flat out said, " that's

bullshit, she's just using it to excuse herself. " Go Grandma!

-Frances

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ugh... my Nada pulls that card. She's half German and half Egyptian. Her parents

were recent Canadian immigrants who barley spoke English. My Nada spent a LOT of

time hopping between relatives in Germany and in Egypt, so whenever she does

something crazy and ANYone objects she brushes it off by saying, " it's a

cultural thing. " If I ever objected to what she did, she would accuse me of

being " too American. "

I mentioned this to my grandma (Nada's mom), and she flat out said, " that's

bullshit, she's just using it to excuse herself. " Go Grandma!

-Frances

>

> As I've been explaining Nada's BPD craziness to lawyers, social workers etc,

their first response is always how all of these traits are so foreign to them

because of the cultural differences (my FOO is from India).

>

> It is SO frustrating to explain that most of these traits are a mental illness

and NONE of their Indian friends who came to America at the same time as them

(40 years ago) do anything similar. It takes some pretty extreme examples for

people to finally get that this is truly a mental illness and not just some

" weird cultural thing " they don't understand. It really sucks feeling like I

have to justify myself over and over again. Us KOs have so much doubt already, I

don't need that reflected in everyone I'm seeking help from!

>

> Has anyone else experienced this?? How have you dealt with it??

>

>

>