Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Wow. You poor kid. There's a term I read at another group that describes the escalation in negative, controlling, abusive, manipulative behaviors that those with personality disorder engage in when they're finally stood up to and given boundaries: " the extinction burst. " Their regular methods and tools of manipulation aren't working any more, so they escalate in intensity and frequency and try new methods and tools. Hopefully, if you can just hold on and just endure through this " extinction burst " , it will eventually peter out. Like, you're going into your storm cellar until the tornado passes. I'm no expert in this at all, but from what I've read a good bodyguard/personal protection service will be very discrete and will not call attention to the fact that you have a bodyguard if that's what you want. Your bodyguard could even be a woman. Others at your ceremony will just think you've brought a friend with you. Keep us posted, we're here for you. -Annie > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > Ahelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Wow. You poor kid. There's a term I read at another group that describes the escalation in negative, controlling, abusive, manipulative behaviors that those with personality disorder engage in when they're finally stood up to and given boundaries: " the extinction burst. " Their regular methods and tools of manipulation aren't working any more, so they escalate in intensity and frequency and try new methods and tools. Hopefully, if you can just hold on and just endure through this " extinction burst " , it will eventually peter out. Like, you're going into your storm cellar until the tornado passes. I'm no expert in this at all, but from what I've read a good bodyguard/personal protection service will be very discrete and will not call attention to the fact that you have a bodyguard if that's what you want. Your bodyguard could even be a woman. Others at your ceremony will just think you've brought a friend with you. Keep us posted, we're here for you. -Annie > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > Ahelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Ahelly - I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are bringing back that feeling I had when my nada was stalking me. It is terrifying. One thing I found helpful was to anticipate the things you think she may do and then write out a brief plan of how you will handle it. I found that I felt more in control of the situation if I had set out some plans already. It sounds like you are doing a lot of this already. I found though that I had to revise my plans of counter-attack when nada escalated at her worst. peace and strength, patinage > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > Ahelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 - Well, nobody ever said your mama was a slowpoke! Annie's image of heading to the cellar when the tornado comes was very apt. I lived on the Gulf coast for a while - and when hurricanes are coming, you KNOW they're headed your way. You prepare, you put up the shutters and find the homeowner's insurance papers, lay in supplies, and then you hunker down for the duration (or drive to Montgomery and check into a motel, but I don't want to digress...) Thing is, you knew your parents would go nuts. You knew your mom would use every trick in the book to get to you. And you did exactly the right things - you have prepared for this. The shutters are up, and you've gathered the canned goods and bottled water. You've let everybody know that you're OK, that you're going NC, that you do NOT want them to cave in. You are READY for them. Right now, the hurricane is howling outside - but the storm will have to pass eventually. Even a Nada doesn't have enough energy to keep this nonsense up forever. And yes - if you hire a bodyguard, it only has to be somebody to " have your back " and step in if they start hassling you. It could be a woman who looks just like a fellow student. That spine of steel is getting stronger every day, girlfriend. Hang in there. > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > Ahelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 - Well, nobody ever said your mama was a slowpoke! Annie's image of heading to the cellar when the tornado comes was very apt. I lived on the Gulf coast for a while - and when hurricanes are coming, you KNOW they're headed your way. You prepare, you put up the shutters and find the homeowner's insurance papers, lay in supplies, and then you hunker down for the duration (or drive to Montgomery and check into a motel, but I don't want to digress...) Thing is, you knew your parents would go nuts. You knew your mom would use every trick in the book to get to you. And you did exactly the right things - you have prepared for this. The shutters are up, and you've gathered the canned goods and bottled water. You've let everybody know that you're OK, that you're going NC, that you do NOT want them to cave in. You are READY for them. Right now, the hurricane is howling outside - but the storm will have to pass eventually. Even a Nada doesn't have enough energy to keep this nonsense up forever. And yes - if you hire a bodyguard, it only has to be somebody to " have your back " and step in if they start hassling you. It could be a woman who looks just like a fellow student. That spine of steel is getting stronger every day, girlfriend. Hang in there. > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > Ahelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 - Well, nobody ever said your mama was a slowpoke! Annie's image of heading to the cellar when the tornado comes was very apt. I lived on the Gulf coast for a while - and when hurricanes are coming, you KNOW they're headed your way. You prepare, you put up the shutters and find the homeowner's insurance papers, lay in supplies, and then you hunker down for the duration (or drive to Montgomery and check into a motel, but I don't want to digress...) Thing is, you knew your parents would go nuts. You knew your mom would use every trick in the book to get to you. And you did exactly the right things - you have prepared for this. The shutters are up, and you've gathered the canned goods and bottled water. You've let everybody know that you're OK, that you're going NC, that you do NOT want them to cave in. You are READY for them. Right now, the hurricane is howling outside - but the storm will have to pass eventually. Even a Nada doesn't have enough energy to keep this nonsense up forever. And yes - if you hire a bodyguard, it only has to be somebody to " have your back " and step in if they start hassling you. It could be a woman who looks just like a fellow student. That spine of steel is getting stronger every day, girlfriend. Hang in there. > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > Ahelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hi , to riff on the tornado theme and steal someone else's analogy (Lynne's?) think of your nada as the cartoon Tasmanian devil swirling out in the ocean but you are safe on your island. The degree to which she's escalating and so fast shows how tight of a grip she must have been trying to hold you with before and why you've had to take such a total approach to getting yours space back. It sounds like you've got some wonderful friends who really have your back and that's a true blessing. And here's a new agey thing to try if you are interested two Bach Flower Essences Mimulus (for fears) and Rock Water(for terror) may help with what you are feeling too. You can get them at most organic type grocery stores. Stay strong, > > > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > > > Ahelly > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hi , to riff on the tornado theme and steal someone else's analogy (Lynne's?) think of your nada as the cartoon Tasmanian devil swirling out in the ocean but you are safe on your island. The degree to which she's escalating and so fast shows how tight of a grip she must have been trying to hold you with before and why you've had to take such a total approach to getting yours space back. It sounds like you've got some wonderful friends who really have your back and that's a true blessing. And here's a new agey thing to try if you are interested two Bach Flower Essences Mimulus (for fears) and Rock Water(for terror) may help with what you are feeling too. You can get them at most organic type grocery stores. Stay strong, > > > > Oh my goodness, nada is spiraling into crazy faster than I had expected. I think part of me wanted to believe I was exaggerating how crazy nada is, and now I can see she's far, far worse. She has already started on texting my friends saying fada is deathly Ill so she needs to get in touch w me. (they are still not calling back). Now that she's moved on to texting, I'm worried she's going to pull out the " I'll kill myself if you don't give me her info " . I'm esp worried about my best friend from college who she's comfortable with and has relentlessly been harassing. I offered to pay for call blocking for her and I hope she accepts. Nada has been trying FOG w her and said she had excellent family values and nada knew shed be understanding and compassionate. Sigh. I know I expected all of this but it just *feels* different in the moment. I just got back from my T and I feel comfortable enough to finally take a shower but I'm pretty petrified to do anything > > > > To the people who suggested bodyguards, I think I'll def do that if things get out of control. I want to wait for right now because I don't want to call attention to myself at orientation. > > > > Thank you all for your support, you make me feel a lot less alone in a new city where I don't know anyone! > > > > Ahelly > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 i have found your words to be sooo true: the shutting down or numbness and lack of emotion will often precede a great deal of emotion (often 'negative' or very uncomfortable emotions: abandonment, rejection, hurt , anger , terror etc.) just waiting for a safe time to be processed, felt slowly and carefully often while talking with some supportive person and dealt with at last.  thanks for helping me to see this by putting it into your words.blessings, ann Subject: Re: Update on NC To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Sunday, August 15, 2010, 5:33 PM  , you did it, good for you! Did you ever decided to send the letter announcing to them you were going NC or not? Without some kind of notification they might try to file a missing persons report. Each person is different, but I found the numbness often covers very strong emotions that just are waiting for a safe time to be processed. Right now you need all your wits about you and it may be your brain has packaging all that stuff to process later. Or maybe not. Be extra good to yourself and safe. Take care, > > Thank you all for your replies. The craziness has started...I just got back from a friend's wedding and my best friend from college said my mom called her several times from different phone numbers and finally left a voicemail saying she couldn't get a hold of me and to call her back. I've instructed all my friends to not pick up the phone and not return her calls. I knew it wouldn't be as simple as moving states etc but it still sucks . I really hope I'm ready for the next few weeks, because it sounds like they're going to be crazy! Ugh, I would appreciate any words of wisdom!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Your poor friend V sounds like she'll need a restraining order or to join the witness protection program next! Good luck with the letter - I hope it works out that they'll just declare their own NC and leave you in peace. How are you holding up? > > well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. > > I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. > > Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Your poor friend V sounds like she'll need a restraining order or to join the witness protection program next! Good luck with the letter - I hope it works out that they'll just declare their own NC and leave you in peace. How are you holding up? > > well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. > > I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. > > Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Your poor friend V sounds like she'll need a restraining order or to join the witness protection program next! Good luck with the letter - I hope it works out that they'll just declare their own NC and leave you in peace. How are you holding up? > > well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. > > I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. > > Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 I really hope it goes as you say that fada gets p.o.'d enough so that he doesn't 'allow' her to pursue this, that is a good thing to hear, lets hope it comes true! he is probably not going to have a fun few weeks but I think that times like these are the tradeoffs that codependent partners 'earn' by living in denial about the insanity. > > well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. > > I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. > > Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 I really hope it goes as you say that fada gets p.o.'d enough so that he doesn't 'allow' her to pursue this, that is a good thing to hear, lets hope it comes true! he is probably not going to have a fun few weeks but I think that times like these are the tradeoffs that codependent partners 'earn' by living in denial about the insanity. > > well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. > > I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. > > Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 I really hope it goes as you say that fada gets p.o.'d enough so that he doesn't 'allow' her to pursue this, that is a good thing to hear, lets hope it comes true! he is probably not going to have a fun few weeks but I think that times like these are the tradeoffs that codependent partners 'earn' by living in denial about the insanity. > > well, the one thing that validates me over and over again is that nada can't control her craziness. She has been obsessively calling my best friend from college, V. She has called her from up to 10 different numbers and has been text messaging so V has to read them and can't just delete a voicemail. Today nada told V that she was the only one who could save her life. Jesus. > > I feel so so bad for my friend who has gotten the whirlwind of crazy in three short days. She's looking into call blocking now thank g*d. I'm having my friend from Paris express mail my letter so nada/fada will receive it on Friday (registered, so I'll know exactly when they get it). Obviously, nada will still be crazy and want to find me but I'm fairly sure the letter will piss fada off enough that he won't let her. > > Sigh. Thanks everyone for your support, will keep you posted this week! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Joe, man I hope you're right! I am definitely praying that fada gets really angry. The letter should arrive tomorrow. My dean told me nada called admissions today and said she wanted to surprise me and wanted to know when orientation was but the girl who answered the phone caught on right away and wouldn't give her any information. She said nada referred to me with my old first name, but new last name. That means nada must have gotten information from my neighbor, who I chose to stop giving information to (because she didn't know I changed my first name as well). Unbelievable. This girl wouldn't let me keep papers in her apt for a weekend because she " didn't want to get in the middle " . I know fada isn't working this weekend so I'm pretty worried they're going to just show up. I just can't can't believe he lets her get away with all of this. And of course I'm expected to sit quietly and take all the abuse he enables. I emailed my lawyer and I'm just going to start getting ready to serve her with a restraining order. I'd rather prepare for the worst. The only reason I didn't seek one before is I didn't want to tip her off and I hoped it wouldn't be necessary but I can see that it will be. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Joe, man I hope you're right! I am definitely praying that fada gets really angry. The letter should arrive tomorrow. My dean told me nada called admissions today and said she wanted to surprise me and wanted to know when orientation was but the girl who answered the phone caught on right away and wouldn't give her any information. She said nada referred to me with my old first name, but new last name. That means nada must have gotten information from my neighbor, who I chose to stop giving information to (because she didn't know I changed my first name as well). Unbelievable. This girl wouldn't let me keep papers in her apt for a weekend because she " didn't want to get in the middle " . I know fada isn't working this weekend so I'm pretty worried they're going to just show up. I just can't can't believe he lets her get away with all of this. And of course I'm expected to sit quietly and take all the abuse he enables. I emailed my lawyer and I'm just going to start getting ready to serve her with a restraining order. I'd rather prepare for the worst. The only reason I didn't seek one before is I didn't want to tip her off and I hoped it wouldn't be necessary but I can see that it will be. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Joe, man I hope you're right! I am definitely praying that fada gets really angry. The letter should arrive tomorrow. My dean told me nada called admissions today and said she wanted to surprise me and wanted to know when orientation was but the girl who answered the phone caught on right away and wouldn't give her any information. She said nada referred to me with my old first name, but new last name. That means nada must have gotten information from my neighbor, who I chose to stop giving information to (because she didn't know I changed my first name as well). Unbelievable. This girl wouldn't let me keep papers in her apt for a weekend because she " didn't want to get in the middle " . I know fada isn't working this weekend so I'm pretty worried they're going to just show up. I just can't can't believe he lets her get away with all of this. And of course I'm expected to sit quietly and take all the abuse he enables. I emailed my lawyer and I'm just going to start getting ready to serve her with a restraining order. I'd rather prepare for the worst. The only reason I didn't seek one before is I didn't want to tip her off and I hoped it wouldn't be necessary but I can see that it will be. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Hey you, just take it one day at a time. I know it sucks. can you get out of town for the weekend? Get away where she won't find you? On Thu, Aug 19, 2010 at 5:15 PM, cocochanel1005 wrote: > > > Joe, man I hope you're right! I am definitely praying that fada gets really > angry. The letter should arrive tomorrow. My dean told me nada called > admissions today and said she wanted to surprise me and wanted to know when > orientation was but the girl who answered the phone caught on right away and > wouldn't give her any information. She said nada referred to me with my old > first name, but new last name. That means nada must have gotten information > from my neighbor, who I chose to stop giving information to (because she > didn't know I changed my first name as well). Unbelievable. This girl > wouldn't let me keep papers in her apt for a weekend because she " didn't > want to get in the middle " . > > I know fada isn't working this weekend so I'm pretty worried they're going > to just show up. I just can't can't believe he lets her get away with all of > this. And of course I'm expected to sit quietly and take all the abuse he > enables. I emailed my lawyer and I'm just going to start getting ready to > serve her with a restraining order. I'd rather prepare for the worst. The > only reason I didn't seek one before is I didn't want to tip her off and I > hoped it wouldn't be necessary but I can see that it will be. Sigh. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Hey you, just take it one day at a time. I know it sucks. can you get out of town for the weekend? Get away where she won't find you? On Thu, Aug 19, 2010 at 5:15 PM, cocochanel1005 wrote: > > > Joe, man I hope you're right! I am definitely praying that fada gets really > angry. The letter should arrive tomorrow. My dean told me nada called > admissions today and said she wanted to surprise me and wanted to know when > orientation was but the girl who answered the phone caught on right away and > wouldn't give her any information. She said nada referred to me with my old > first name, but new last name. That means nada must have gotten information > from my neighbor, who I chose to stop giving information to (because she > didn't know I changed my first name as well). Unbelievable. This girl > wouldn't let me keep papers in her apt for a weekend because she " didn't > want to get in the middle " . > > I know fada isn't working this weekend so I'm pretty worried they're going > to just show up. I just can't can't believe he lets her get away with all of > this. And of course I'm expected to sit quietly and take all the abuse he > enables. I emailed my lawyer and I'm just going to start getting ready to > serve her with a restraining order. I'd rather prepare for the worst. The > only reason I didn't seek one before is I didn't want to tip her off and I > hoped it wouldn't be necessary but I can see that it will be. Sigh. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Girlscout cowboy, thanks!! Very interesting...I've just emailed some friends who are a train ride away to see if I can leave. The timing sucks because orientation ends so late I don't know if I could leave fri night but thanks for the advice. Fada isn't working this weekend so this would be a very likely time for them to come. , so sorry, forgot to reply to your post in my last posting. Emotionally...it's a little lonely here. I have two good girl friends and one guy friend (who is really freaking hot, trying to keep him as a friend ), and only one of my girl friends knows what's going on. Ironically, she has an exbf stalking her and he started emailing me for info on her. She has been great and really understanding but...it's always on my mind and I don't always want to be talking about it. I'm trying to focus on the present moment and enjoy all our group activities etc. I def need to work on that and maybe it will help some of this anxiety... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Girlscout cowboy, thanks!! Very interesting...I've just emailed some friends who are a train ride away to see if I can leave. The timing sucks because orientation ends so late I don't know if I could leave fri night but thanks for the advice. Fada isn't working this weekend so this would be a very likely time for them to come. , so sorry, forgot to reply to your post in my last posting. Emotionally...it's a little lonely here. I have two good girl friends and one guy friend (who is really freaking hot, trying to keep him as a friend ), and only one of my girl friends knows what's going on. Ironically, she has an exbf stalking her and he started emailing me for info on her. She has been great and really understanding but...it's always on my mind and I don't always want to be talking about it. I'm trying to focus on the present moment and enjoy all our group activities etc. I def need to work on that and maybe it will help some of this anxiety... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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