Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 I've thought about this before. And I have a (hopefully satisfying) answer " Their consequences is that they have to live with themselves. " Doesn't sound that horrible? Think about it like this. We know how we feel, and we don't lash out at others. Imagine how crappy we would have to feel to lash out, project, gas light, etc... at other people. That is how BPD people feel most of the time. On Tue, Aug 17, 2010 at 5:25 AM, climberkayak wrote: > > > Yep, I do think there are consequences, in time. I have a hard time > sometimes calling my grandmother a grandnada since she was good to me. But > with regard to my mother and aunt I do believe she was a nada. They feared > and loved her and jumped to her slightest twitch or sigh till the day she > died. The karma here is that because they feared her as they did, it was > impossible for them to fully assume the role of adult in taking care of her > business and making decisions for her. Even though senile dementia was > taking over and she was in a nursing home, decisions about her house, her > finances, and her medical care were all affected by their fear of her > reactions or retaliations. I strongly disagreed with a lot of what I saw and > influenced what I could from a distance. So my grandmother definitely had > some karma come back at her in her last years because of this. It made me > very sad even though it was a kind of justice. She never let her daughters > grow up and because of that they couldn't be grownups for her when it really > counted. > > I think our PD'd parents suffer karmic consequences because of what happens > in their relationships with their children. Even if their children stay > involved and never go LC or NC, the damage is there. If their adult children > cut them off, well right there is a huge karmic payback. They cheat > themselves of the loving relationships they should have had if they'd done > their part and that's a pretty high price indeed. > > > > > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other > people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for > them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They > are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they > get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, > really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Yes, there are consequences but we don't see them as easily because the BPD puts on the spin and it appears that they do not react to consequences that way a normal person would. Consequences include: A loss of relationships or at least meaningful relationships. Family and friends with either go no contact or the relationship will become so superficial as to not be fulfilling. When someone stands up to a BPD, for them, that is a consequence. They feel betrayed as they see this as being disloyal. There are legal and financial consequences. These can be very hard on someone with BPD because they beleive they have done no wrong or are entitled to XYZ. I am sure there are more but my brain is still sleepy right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Yes, there are consequences but we don't see them as easily because the BPD puts on the spin and it appears that they do not react to consequences that way a normal person would. Consequences include: A loss of relationships or at least meaningful relationships. Family and friends with either go no contact or the relationship will become so superficial as to not be fulfilling. When someone stands up to a BPD, for them, that is a consequence. They feel betrayed as they see this as being disloyal. There are legal and financial consequences. These can be very hard on someone with BPD because they beleive they have done no wrong or are entitled to XYZ. I am sure there are more but my brain is still sleepy right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Yes, there are consequences but we don't see them as easily because the BPD puts on the spin and it appears that they do not react to consequences that way a normal person would. Consequences include: A loss of relationships or at least meaningful relationships. Family and friends with either go no contact or the relationship will become so superficial as to not be fulfilling. When someone stands up to a BPD, for them, that is a consequence. They feel betrayed as they see this as being disloyal. There are legal and financial consequences. These can be very hard on someone with BPD because they beleive they have done no wrong or are entitled to XYZ. I am sure there are more but my brain is still sleepy right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 People say: what goes around comes around, you reap what you sew, whatever you do comes back to you, karma. Whatever you call it, however you identify it, there has to be some truth to it or it would not be so widely believed throughout the world. It might take some time, and it might not be our timing, but yes there will come a time when everything comes full circle and all their troubles will come back to bite them. I am sorry for my nada because I think she is starting to face some pain and suffering after faking it for so many years. The funny thing is that I truly believe this is only the tip of her iceberg. I am very sorry to think about that. Now she is facing true sadness at her loss of me, and my oldest son, she doesn't really care about my youngest or my dh. But in her world that makes her sad. Along with this she has some true physical problems after faking for many years, it finally caught up with her. Plus people are starting to catch on to her BS and she is losing face. I don't care if you believe in God, the universe, or nothing. Personally I am a bit agnostic (I go back and forth with myself after dealings with nada and God its just to painful to fully believe right now), but I still think there will be balance somehow. Don't lose heart. LB > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 People say: what goes around comes around, you reap what you sew, whatever you do comes back to you, karma. Whatever you call it, however you identify it, there has to be some truth to it or it would not be so widely believed throughout the world. It might take some time, and it might not be our timing, but yes there will come a time when everything comes full circle and all their troubles will come back to bite them. I am sorry for my nada because I think she is starting to face some pain and suffering after faking it for so many years. The funny thing is that I truly believe this is only the tip of her iceberg. I am very sorry to think about that. Now she is facing true sadness at her loss of me, and my oldest son, she doesn't really care about my youngest or my dh. But in her world that makes her sad. Along with this she has some true physical problems after faking for many years, it finally caught up with her. Plus people are starting to catch on to her BS and she is losing face. I don't care if you believe in God, the universe, or nothing. Personally I am a bit agnostic (I go back and forth with myself after dealings with nada and God its just to painful to fully believe right now), but I still think there will be balance somehow. Don't lose heart. LB > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 People say: what goes around comes around, you reap what you sew, whatever you do comes back to you, karma. Whatever you call it, however you identify it, there has to be some truth to it or it would not be so widely believed throughout the world. It might take some time, and it might not be our timing, but yes there will come a time when everything comes full circle and all their troubles will come back to bite them. I am sorry for my nada because I think she is starting to face some pain and suffering after faking it for so many years. The funny thing is that I truly believe this is only the tip of her iceberg. I am very sorry to think about that. Now she is facing true sadness at her loss of me, and my oldest son, she doesn't really care about my youngest or my dh. But in her world that makes her sad. Along with this she has some true physical problems after faking for many years, it finally caught up with her. Plus people are starting to catch on to her BS and she is losing face. I don't care if you believe in God, the universe, or nothing. Personally I am a bit agnostic (I go back and forth with myself after dealings with nada and God its just to painful to fully believe right now), but I still think there will be balance somehow. Don't lose heart. LB > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hey, Karla, For one thing, BPD/abusive FOO do not have deep, healthy, loving relationships with anyone. They are never going to know what it is like to have someone truly love them because they want to. They only have " servants " in everyone around them, because they manipulate and connive to get what they want. For another thing, they have constant drama, and never any peace. Never any contentment. They always WANT. And that's just in this life. For those of us who believe there will be justice in the next life, well, you can imagine there will be even greater consequences.... Hugs, Jan > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hey, Karla, For one thing, BPD/abusive FOO do not have deep, healthy, loving relationships with anyone. They are never going to know what it is like to have someone truly love them because they want to. They only have " servants " in everyone around them, because they manipulate and connive to get what they want. For another thing, they have constant drama, and never any peace. Never any contentment. They always WANT. And that's just in this life. For those of us who believe there will be justice in the next life, well, you can imagine there will be even greater consequences.... Hugs, Jan > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Hey, Karla, For one thing, BPD/abusive FOO do not have deep, healthy, loving relationships with anyone. They are never going to know what it is like to have someone truly love them because they want to. They only have " servants " in everyone around them, because they manipulate and connive to get what they want. For another thing, they have constant drama, and never any peace. Never any contentment. They always WANT. And that's just in this life. For those of us who believe there will be justice in the next life, well, you can imagine there will be even greater consequences.... Hugs, Jan > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 I think the consequences are more subtle. Yes, we suffer consequences from their behavior towards us but isn't it more subtle? The emotional scars we carry? I think their consequences are that way too. My nada is alone, miserable, demanding and lives such an empty life. I think those are consequences of her terrible attitude and the way she's treated people all her life. She craves attention but people turn away from her. She's afraid to be alone at her age but no one wants to be with her. She's hinted around about how nice it would be to live near me (think duplex) and I think I'd rather be dead first. Maybe we wish for more visible consequences like the bad guy that gets thrown in jail. But BP isn't like that. It's insidious. It snakes its way into the inner person and does its damage that way. > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 First thing that comes to mind (since you're in seminary) is, " the arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice. " Karma may not slap them down today, or this year, or this decade, but eventually their actions are going to have consequences. One major consequence - there's a member of their family who is smart enough, and has a strong enough moral compass, that she's in seminary for crying out loud - and she has a hard time being around them. > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 First thing that comes to mind (since you're in seminary) is, " the arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice. " Karma may not slap them down today, or this year, or this decade, but eventually their actions are going to have consequences. One major consequence - there's a member of their family who is smart enough, and has a strong enough moral compass, that she's in seminary for crying out loud - and she has a hard time being around them. > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 My observation is that BPD's do suffer from the consequences of their acts but that they do not change. My BPD mother-in-law is so foul to others that she has no more friends. She is very lonely. However, she blames everything on others, e.g. her friends are bad people. It never, ever occurs to her that her own behaviour alienates others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 My observation is that BPD's do suffer from the consequences of their acts but that they do not change. My BPD mother-in-law is so foul to others that she has no more friends. She is very lonely. However, she blames everything on others, e.g. her friends are bad people. It never, ever occurs to her that her own behaviour alienates others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 My observation is that BPD's do suffer from the consequences of their acts but that they do not change. My BPD mother-in-law is so foul to others that she has no more friends. She is very lonely. However, she blames everything on others, e.g. her friends are bad people. It never, ever occurs to her that her own behaviour alienates others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Last Sunday, we just had exegesis on the Rich Man and Lazarus parable in Luke 16, and it seems to fit your question perfectly. The pastor discussed how perfect justice exists only in heaven. So the passage describes that while Lazarus lay right outside the rich man's gate on earth, just longing for crumbs (and my mind fills in " of affection " ), the rich man " enjoyed every day in splendor. " Yet when they both died, Lazarus was at Abraham's right hand, and the rich man opened his eyes in Hades. The rich man (_purposefully_ not named, so that his splendor dies with him) begged for Lazarus to dip his finger in water and bring it to him to cool the burning of his tongue, but Abraham told him that it wasn't possible. And Abraham later in the passage points out to the rich man that he had had his chance if he had listened to the prophets. If those were allowed into heaven, would it be heaven? Of course not. Part of the justice BPs face here on earth is the alienation they cause by their actions. Their loved ones provide them with the opportunity over and over to face their behavior and repent, and they do not. Part of the justice *we* receive here on earth is that through our work to rise above our circumstances, we become humble/willing enough to see what they are not willing to see, and we work to change those behaviors, receiving in ourselves the due reward for our diligence. Like you I would like to see more justice. Perhaps they face more and God doesn't let us see it because that would satisfy our vengeful natures. Also, God has a plan. We don't know what it is... right now we see through a glass but darkly. Perhaps His plan for us, by having us face and work through these emotions, is to build within us compassion, strength of character, humility, patience, and gentleness. Perhaps this is because we can learn from others' bad behavior sometimes better than we can from their good behavior. Both my cents, Tina > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Last Sunday, we just had exegesis on the Rich Man and Lazarus parable in Luke 16, and it seems to fit your question perfectly. The pastor discussed how perfect justice exists only in heaven. So the passage describes that while Lazarus lay right outside the rich man's gate on earth, just longing for crumbs (and my mind fills in " of affection " ), the rich man " enjoyed every day in splendor. " Yet when they both died, Lazarus was at Abraham's right hand, and the rich man opened his eyes in Hades. The rich man (_purposefully_ not named, so that his splendor dies with him) begged for Lazarus to dip his finger in water and bring it to him to cool the burning of his tongue, but Abraham told him that it wasn't possible. And Abraham later in the passage points out to the rich man that he had had his chance if he had listened to the prophets. If those were allowed into heaven, would it be heaven? Of course not. Part of the justice BPs face here on earth is the alienation they cause by their actions. Their loved ones provide them with the opportunity over and over to face their behavior and repent, and they do not. Part of the justice *we* receive here on earth is that through our work to rise above our circumstances, we become humble/willing enough to see what they are not willing to see, and we work to change those behaviors, receiving in ourselves the due reward for our diligence. Like you I would like to see more justice. Perhaps they face more and God doesn't let us see it because that would satisfy our vengeful natures. Also, God has a plan. We don't know what it is... right now we see through a glass but darkly. Perhaps His plan for us, by having us face and work through these emotions, is to build within us compassion, strength of character, humility, patience, and gentleness. Perhaps this is because we can learn from others' bad behavior sometimes better than we can from their good behavior. Both my cents, Tina > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Karla, I think, and this is simply my humble opinion, that the BP is so hyper sensitive to stimuli, and in such constant inner turmoil and pain, that that which would be a consequence for the rest of us simply rolls off them. From their perspective they are in constant hell, so what is a little NC? I know they don t love me anyway. I m reminded of a story. A young airmen at a base in Alaska was summoned late at night to clean out the sanitary holding tanks of a plane before it could launch. The truck was frozen up, so he had to go and get another one. By the time he finished, the flight was delayed 45 minutes. The pilot was furious, and in chewing him out, said, son, I dont like your attitude or how you do your job. I m going to see to it you really suffer for what you did tonite. Sir, he said, I m 19 years old. The nearest woman is 500 miles away. I m an E1, as low as you can get on the pay scale. I m stationed in Alaska. It s 20 below where I have to work, and my job is pumping shit into a truck and carrying it over and pumping it into a big frozen tank of shit. Sometimes it freezes , and I have to chip off frozen shit to get the hoses attached. Just exactly what did you have in mind for my punishment? Lol Doug > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . .. > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Karla, I think, and this is simply my humble opinion, that the BP is so hyper sensitive to stimuli, and in such constant inner turmoil and pain, that that which would be a consequence for the rest of us simply rolls off them. From their perspective they are in constant hell, so what is a little NC? I know they don t love me anyway. I m reminded of a story. A young airmen at a base in Alaska was summoned late at night to clean out the sanitary holding tanks of a plane before it could launch. The truck was frozen up, so he had to go and get another one. By the time he finished, the flight was delayed 45 minutes. The pilot was furious, and in chewing him out, said, son, I dont like your attitude or how you do your job. I m going to see to it you really suffer for what you did tonite. Sir, he said, I m 19 years old. The nearest woman is 500 miles away. I m an E1, as low as you can get on the pay scale. I m stationed in Alaska. It s 20 below where I have to work, and my job is pumping shit into a truck and carrying it over and pumping it into a big frozen tank of shit. Sometimes it freezes , and I have to chip off frozen shit to get the hoses attached. Just exactly what did you have in mind for my punishment? Lol Doug > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . .. > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Karla, I think, and this is simply my humble opinion, that the BP is so hyper sensitive to stimuli, and in such constant inner turmoil and pain, that that which would be a consequence for the rest of us simply rolls off them. From their perspective they are in constant hell, so what is a little NC? I know they don t love me anyway. I m reminded of a story. A young airmen at a base in Alaska was summoned late at night to clean out the sanitary holding tanks of a plane before it could launch. The truck was frozen up, so he had to go and get another one. By the time he finished, the flight was delayed 45 minutes. The pilot was furious, and in chewing him out, said, son, I dont like your attitude or how you do your job. I m going to see to it you really suffer for what you did tonite. Sir, he said, I m 19 years old. The nearest woman is 500 miles away. I m an E1, as low as you can get on the pay scale. I m stationed in Alaska. It s 20 below where I have to work, and my job is pumping shit into a truck and carrying it over and pumping it into a big frozen tank of shit. Sometimes it freezes , and I have to chip off frozen shit to get the hoses attached. Just exactly what did you have in mind for my punishment? Lol Doug > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . .. > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 That's awesome. The only way it could be worse is if it was hot shit - like boiling. . . Ha ha ha > > > Karla, > > I think, and this is simply my humble opinion, that the BP is so hyper > sensitive to stimuli, and in such constant inner turmoil and pain, that > that which would be a consequence for the rest of us simply rolls off > them. From their perspective they are in constant hell, so what is a > little NC? I know they don t love me anyway. > > I m reminded of a story. A young airmen at a base in Alaska was > summoned late at night to clean out the sanitary holding tanks of a > plane before it could launch. The truck was frozen up, so he had to go > and get another one. By the time he finished, the flight was delayed 45 > minutes. The pilot was furious, and in chewing him out, said, son, I > dont like your attitude or how you do your job. I m going to see to it > you really suffer for what you did tonite. > > Sir, he said, I m 19 years old. The nearest woman is 500 miles away. I m > an E1, as low as you can get on the pay scale. I m stationed in Alaska. > It s 20 below where I have to work, and my job is pumping shit into a > truck and carrying it over and pumping it into a big frozen tank of > shit. Sometimes it freezes , and I have to chip off frozen shit to get > the hoses attached. > > Just exactly what did you have in mind for my punishment? > > Lol > > Doug > > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to > other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the > abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for > them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? > They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . > . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, > they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 That's awesome. The only way it could be worse is if it was hot shit - like boiling. . . Ha ha ha > > > Karla, > > I think, and this is simply my humble opinion, that the BP is so hyper > sensitive to stimuli, and in such constant inner turmoil and pain, that > that which would be a consequence for the rest of us simply rolls off > them. From their perspective they are in constant hell, so what is a > little NC? I know they don t love me anyway. > > I m reminded of a story. A young airmen at a base in Alaska was > summoned late at night to clean out the sanitary holding tanks of a > plane before it could launch. The truck was frozen up, so he had to go > and get another one. By the time he finished, the flight was delayed 45 > minutes. The pilot was furious, and in chewing him out, said, son, I > dont like your attitude or how you do your job. I m going to see to it > you really suffer for what you did tonite. > > Sir, he said, I m 19 years old. The nearest woman is 500 miles away. I m > an E1, as low as you can get on the pay scale. I m stationed in Alaska. > It s 20 below where I have to work, and my job is pumping shit into a > truck and carrying it over and pumping it into a big frozen tank of > shit. Sometimes it freezes , and I have to chip off frozen shit to get > the hoses attached. > > Just exactly what did you have in mind for my punishment? > > Lol > > Doug > > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to > other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the > abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for > them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? > They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . > . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, > they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 That's awesome. The only way it could be worse is if it was hot shit - like boiling. . . Ha ha ha > > > Karla, > > I think, and this is simply my humble opinion, that the BP is so hyper > sensitive to stimuli, and in such constant inner turmoil and pain, that > that which would be a consequence for the rest of us simply rolls off > them. From their perspective they are in constant hell, so what is a > little NC? I know they don t love me anyway. > > I m reminded of a story. A young airmen at a base in Alaska was > summoned late at night to clean out the sanitary holding tanks of a > plane before it could launch. The truck was frozen up, so he had to go > and get another one. By the time he finished, the flight was delayed 45 > minutes. The pilot was furious, and in chewing him out, said, son, I > dont like your attitude or how you do your job. I m going to see to it > you really suffer for what you did tonite. > > Sir, he said, I m 19 years old. The nearest woman is 500 miles away. I m > an E1, as low as you can get on the pay scale. I m stationed in Alaska. > It s 20 below where I have to work, and my job is pumping shit into a > truck and carrying it over and pumping it into a big frozen tank of > shit. Sometimes it freezes , and I have to chip off frozen shit to get > the hoses attached. > > Just exactly what did you have in mind for my punishment? > > Lol > > Doug > > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to > other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the > abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for > them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? > They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . > . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, > they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Karla, What an interesting topic. I feel very similar to your second post- that from our perspectives, BPDs have lost much in life, but from their perspective, there is no loss or suffering. I think that will haunt me forever, but the 2 things I think about are: 1. when going NC, nada literally thinks she's lost a part of herself, and no matter how cold she is, that must cause her to suffer. and 2. despite the many many fleas I've acquired, I have also become the strongest person I know. It doesn't make our experiences just by any means, but that's a pretty powerful character trait to take away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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