Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I use to think the only thing that could be worse then having to be around my mother would be actually being her. I can only imagine what goes on in her head. the day must be filled with strategies and plans of who she can get to do what for her..so that her needs will be met. My mother is also dependent personality disorder. She feels she can't do anything for herself. She makes people do everythingng for her other then cook and clean. then everyone does it wrong. she is NEVER pleased. She would make me open her mail..and call people about bills. fill out application for government assistance. even though she has the money and would not qualify. She would insist I apply...then she would get denied and she insist that I appeal....Constantly suing Dr.s. Taking her places even thought she can drive just fine. (I live 1 hour away from her) She never calls me and has NEVER come to my house unless I pick her up...but she will drive to her friends house 10 min from mine. I'm digressing:) With all that is going thru there heads. I don't think they have the capacity to really love anyone..I think they NEED people and mistake that for love. Based on what I can see from my mother she says she loves us but she was working on my Dad's replacement while he was dieing. That can't be Love..she Needed him..when she realised he was dieing she searched frantically for a replacement..that was her main concern. > > > Last Sunday, we just had exegesis on the Rich Man and Lazarus parable in > Luke 16, and it seems to fit your question perfectly. The pastor discussed > how perfect justice exists only in heaven. > > So the passage describes that while Lazarus lay right outside the rich > man's gate on earth, just longing for crumbs (and my mind fills in " of > affection " ), the rich man " enjoyed every day in splendor. " Yet when they > both died, Lazarus was at Abraham's right hand, and the rich man opened his > eyes in Hades. The rich man (_purposefully_ not named, so that his splendor > dies with him) begged for Lazarus to dip his finger in water and bring it to > him to cool the burning of his tongue, but Abraham told him that it wasn't > possible. And Abraham later in the passage points out to the rich man that > he had had his chance if he had listened to the prophets. > > If those were allowed into heaven, would it be heaven? Of course not. > > Part of the justice BPs face here on earth is the alienation they cause by > their actions. Their loved ones provide them with the opportunity over and > over to face their behavior and repent, and they do not. > > Part of the justice *we* receive here on earth is that through our work to > rise above our circumstances, we become humble/willing enough to see what > they are not willing to see, and we work to change those behaviors, > receiving in ourselves the due reward for our diligence. > > Like you I would like to see more justice. Perhaps they face more and God > doesn't let us see it because that would satisfy our vengeful natures. Also, > God has a plan. We don't know what it is... right now we see through a glass > but darkly. Perhaps His plan for us, by having us face and work through > these emotions, is to build within us compassion, strength of character, > humility, patience, and gentleness. Perhaps this is because we can learn > from others' bad behavior sometimes better than we can from their good > behavior. > > Both my cents, > Tina > > > > > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other > people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for > them. > > > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They > are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they > get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > > > Thanks, > > > Karla > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I use to think the only thing that could be worse then having to be around my mother would be actually being her. I can only imagine what goes on in her head. the day must be filled with strategies and plans of who she can get to do what for her..so that her needs will be met. My mother is also dependent personality disorder. She feels she can't do anything for herself. She makes people do everythingng for her other then cook and clean. then everyone does it wrong. she is NEVER pleased. She would make me open her mail..and call people about bills. fill out application for government assistance. even though she has the money and would not qualify. She would insist I apply...then she would get denied and she insist that I appeal....Constantly suing Dr.s. Taking her places even thought she can drive just fine. (I live 1 hour away from her) She never calls me and has NEVER come to my house unless I pick her up...but she will drive to her friends house 10 min from mine. I'm digressing:) With all that is going thru there heads. I don't think they have the capacity to really love anyone..I think they NEED people and mistake that for love. Based on what I can see from my mother she says she loves us but she was working on my Dad's replacement while he was dieing. That can't be Love..she Needed him..when she realised he was dieing she searched frantically for a replacement..that was her main concern. > > > Last Sunday, we just had exegesis on the Rich Man and Lazarus parable in > Luke 16, and it seems to fit your question perfectly. The pastor discussed > how perfect justice exists only in heaven. > > So the passage describes that while Lazarus lay right outside the rich > man's gate on earth, just longing for crumbs (and my mind fills in " of > affection " ), the rich man " enjoyed every day in splendor. " Yet when they > both died, Lazarus was at Abraham's right hand, and the rich man opened his > eyes in Hades. The rich man (_purposefully_ not named, so that his splendor > dies with him) begged for Lazarus to dip his finger in water and bring it to > him to cool the burning of his tongue, but Abraham told him that it wasn't > possible. And Abraham later in the passage points out to the rich man that > he had had his chance if he had listened to the prophets. > > If those were allowed into heaven, would it be heaven? Of course not. > > Part of the justice BPs face here on earth is the alienation they cause by > their actions. Their loved ones provide them with the opportunity over and > over to face their behavior and repent, and they do not. > > Part of the justice *we* receive here on earth is that through our work to > rise above our circumstances, we become humble/willing enough to see what > they are not willing to see, and we work to change those behaviors, > receiving in ourselves the due reward for our diligence. > > Like you I would like to see more justice. Perhaps they face more and God > doesn't let us see it because that would satisfy our vengeful natures. Also, > God has a plan. We don't know what it is... right now we see through a glass > but darkly. Perhaps His plan for us, by having us face and work through > these emotions, is to build within us compassion, strength of character, > humility, patience, and gentleness. Perhaps this is because we can learn > from others' bad behavior sometimes better than we can from their good > behavior. > > Both my cents, > Tina > > > > > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other > people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for > them. > > > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They > are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they > get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > > > Thanks, > > > Karla > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I use to think the only thing that could be worse then having to be around my mother would be actually being her. I can only imagine what goes on in her head. the day must be filled with strategies and plans of who she can get to do what for her..so that her needs will be met. My mother is also dependent personality disorder. She feels she can't do anything for herself. She makes people do everythingng for her other then cook and clean. then everyone does it wrong. she is NEVER pleased. She would make me open her mail..and call people about bills. fill out application for government assistance. even though she has the money and would not qualify. She would insist I apply...then she would get denied and she insist that I appeal....Constantly suing Dr.s. Taking her places even thought she can drive just fine. (I live 1 hour away from her) She never calls me and has NEVER come to my house unless I pick her up...but she will drive to her friends house 10 min from mine. I'm digressing:) With all that is going thru there heads. I don't think they have the capacity to really love anyone..I think they NEED people and mistake that for love. Based on what I can see from my mother she says she loves us but she was working on my Dad's replacement while he was dieing. That can't be Love..she Needed him..when she realised he was dieing she searched frantically for a replacement..that was her main concern. > > > Last Sunday, we just had exegesis on the Rich Man and Lazarus parable in > Luke 16, and it seems to fit your question perfectly. The pastor discussed > how perfect justice exists only in heaven. > > So the passage describes that while Lazarus lay right outside the rich > man's gate on earth, just longing for crumbs (and my mind fills in " of > affection " ), the rich man " enjoyed every day in splendor. " Yet when they > both died, Lazarus was at Abraham's right hand, and the rich man opened his > eyes in Hades. The rich man (_purposefully_ not named, so that his splendor > dies with him) begged for Lazarus to dip his finger in water and bring it to > him to cool the burning of his tongue, but Abraham told him that it wasn't > possible. And Abraham later in the passage points out to the rich man that > he had had his chance if he had listened to the prophets. > > If those were allowed into heaven, would it be heaven? Of course not. > > Part of the justice BPs face here on earth is the alienation they cause by > their actions. Their loved ones provide them with the opportunity over and > over to face their behavior and repent, and they do not. > > Part of the justice *we* receive here on earth is that through our work to > rise above our circumstances, we become humble/willing enough to see what > they are not willing to see, and we work to change those behaviors, > receiving in ourselves the due reward for our diligence. > > Like you I would like to see more justice. Perhaps they face more and God > doesn't let us see it because that would satisfy our vengeful natures. Also, > God has a plan. We don't know what it is... right now we see through a glass > but darkly. Perhaps His plan for us, by having us face and work through > these emotions, is to build within us compassion, strength of character, > humility, patience, and gentleness. Perhaps this is because we can learn > from others' bad behavior sometimes better than we can from their good > behavior. > > Both my cents, > Tina > > > > > > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other > people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for > them. > > > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They > are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they > get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > > > Thanks, > > > Karla > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Karla, I have been thinking about this since I read your question. I suppose that my mother is suffering consequences as she is living in a nursing home. Had she been a sweet old lady, sane, easy to get along with, it is extremely likely that she would be living in our guest house. We would have accomodated her. I believe the consequences they suffer are along these lines - perhaps by loneliness in old age, dying alone, etc. Because of what my beliefs, I also feel that they are forced to revisit their issues in their next life, where perhaps they will rise to a higher spiritual plane. Sent from my blueberry. On Aug 17, 2010, at 2:30 AM, " kyjohnson40days " <kyjohnson40days@... > wrote: > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive > to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the > abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs > for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? > They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool > everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, > they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Karla, I have been thinking about this since I read your question. I suppose that my mother is suffering consequences as she is living in a nursing home. Had she been a sweet old lady, sane, easy to get along with, it is extremely likely that she would be living in our guest house. We would have accomodated her. I believe the consequences they suffer are along these lines - perhaps by loneliness in old age, dying alone, etc. Because of what my beliefs, I also feel that they are forced to revisit their issues in their next life, where perhaps they will rise to a higher spiritual plane. Sent from my blueberry. On Aug 17, 2010, at 2:30 AM, " kyjohnson40days " <kyjohnson40days@... > wrote: > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive > to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the > abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs > for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? > They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool > everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, > they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 Karla, I have been thinking about this since I read your question. I suppose that my mother is suffering consequences as she is living in a nursing home. Had she been a sweet old lady, sane, easy to get along with, it is extremely likely that she would be living in our guest house. We would have accomodated her. I believe the consequences they suffer are along these lines - perhaps by loneliness in old age, dying alone, etc. Because of what my beliefs, I also feel that they are forced to revisit their issues in their next life, where perhaps they will rise to a higher spiritual plane. Sent from my blueberry. On Aug 17, 2010, at 2:30 AM, " kyjohnson40days " <kyjohnson40days@... > wrote: > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the > professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive > to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the > abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer > consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs > for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? > They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool > everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, > they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still > really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 yes, irene, i agree completely.. bp does affect us in our internal selves, our very souls i might say.. the memories of scars just newly realized and felt haunt me nearly every day.. they affect my attitudes, behaviors, relationships, with myself and others.. i could go on and on.  things others can do for themselves and take for granted take real hard work for me to achieve.. and lots of help like we offer each other here. and when i think of my nada and the phony,empty martyred life she lead with the guilty conscience of the way she traumatized me, the most beloved person in her life.. i would be sad if i weren't still so angry and even bitter sometimes.  the wheels of justice grind very slowly but exceedingly fine i think the saying goes.. and the same is true for bpd i believe. to me there is a God in heaven who really does care about us, hard as that is to believe at times and who grieves with us over the pain we all have endured.  thanks again for sharing your thots.ann Subject: Re: Consequences To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Tuesday, August 17, 2010, 9:46 AM  I think the consequences are more subtle. Yes, we suffer consequences from their behavior towards us but isn't it more subtle? The emotional scars we carry? I think their consequences are that way too. My nada is alone, miserable, demanding and lives such an empty life. I think those are consequences of her terrible attitude and the way she's treated people all her life. She craves attention but people turn away from her. She's afraid to be alone at her age but no one wants to be with her. She's hinted around about how nice it would be to live near me (think duplex) and I think I'd rather be dead first. Maybe we wish for more visible consequences like the bad guy that gets thrown in jail. But BP isn't like that. It's insidious. It snakes its way into the inner person and does its damage that way. > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 yes, irene, i agree completely.. bp does affect us in our internal selves, our very souls i might say.. the memories of scars just newly realized and felt haunt me nearly every day.. they affect my attitudes, behaviors, relationships, with myself and others.. i could go on and on.  things others can do for themselves and take for granted take real hard work for me to achieve.. and lots of help like we offer each other here. and when i think of my nada and the phony,empty martyred life she lead with the guilty conscience of the way she traumatized me, the most beloved person in her life.. i would be sad if i weren't still so angry and even bitter sometimes.  the wheels of justice grind very slowly but exceedingly fine i think the saying goes.. and the same is true for bpd i believe. to me there is a God in heaven who really does care about us, hard as that is to believe at times and who grieves with us over the pain we all have endured.  thanks again for sharing your thots.ann Subject: Re: Consequences To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Tuesday, August 17, 2010, 9:46 AM  I think the consequences are more subtle. Yes, we suffer consequences from their behavior towards us but isn't it more subtle? The emotional scars we carry? I think their consequences are that way too. My nada is alone, miserable, demanding and lives such an empty life. I think those are consequences of her terrible attitude and the way she's treated people all her life. She craves attention but people turn away from her. She's afraid to be alone at her age but no one wants to be with her. She's hinted around about how nice it would be to live near me (think duplex) and I think I'd rather be dead first. Maybe we wish for more visible consequences like the bad guy that gets thrown in jail. But BP isn't like that. It's insidious. It snakes its way into the inner person and does its damage that way. > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 yes, irene, i agree completely.. bp does affect us in our internal selves, our very souls i might say.. the memories of scars just newly realized and felt haunt me nearly every day.. they affect my attitudes, behaviors, relationships, with myself and others.. i could go on and on.  things others can do for themselves and take for granted take real hard work for me to achieve.. and lots of help like we offer each other here. and when i think of my nada and the phony,empty martyred life she lead with the guilty conscience of the way she traumatized me, the most beloved person in her life.. i would be sad if i weren't still so angry and even bitter sometimes.  the wheels of justice grind very slowly but exceedingly fine i think the saying goes.. and the same is true for bpd i believe. to me there is a God in heaven who really does care about us, hard as that is to believe at times and who grieves with us over the pain we all have endured.  thanks again for sharing your thots.ann Subject: Re: Consequences To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Tuesday, August 17, 2010, 9:46 AM  I think the consequences are more subtle. Yes, we suffer consequences from their behavior towards us but isn't it more subtle? The emotional scars we carry? I think their consequences are that way too. My nada is alone, miserable, demanding and lives such an empty life. I think those are consequences of her terrible attitude and the way she's treated people all her life. She craves attention but people turn away from her. She's afraid to be alone at her age but no one wants to be with her. She's hinted around about how nice it would be to live near me (think duplex) and I think I'd rather be dead first. Maybe we wish for more visible consequences like the bad guy that gets thrown in jail. But BP isn't like that. It's insidious. It snakes its way into the inner person and does its damage that way. > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > It got me thinking. > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > Thanks, > Karla > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 In response to the question about whether we have seen our BP parents suffer consequences... For me it is so obvious... My NADA has no close relationships in her life... She thinks she does... but everyone around her " walks on eggshells " and only says what they believe will be " safe " things to say... My NADA has lost out on what should be one of the closest, most loving relationships in her life... (her daughters)... In my opinion, (I have four boys), the biggest loss I could ever have would be to lose my kids, either through death or emotional separation... I do also agree with what has been said by some in here in that they (our BP parents) may seem to be prospering here on earth but it is temporary... I firmly believe we will be judged according to the way we live in this world... I agree with one of you who said that she is storing up her investments eternally (not temporarily.)... I relate a lot to songs and if you are of Christian faith you might find the song by Mercy Me comforting... Here is the main chorus line... Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free Bring me anything that brings You glory And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain I have had thoughts just like many of you have mentioned (why me? why this?) but I truely believe in God's plan for me and I believe that I was delivered from the pain and torture in order to be a light to shine for those who do not know God and may have struggles in their life.. IF He pulled me out of what He did, He can pull them out too.... Just my opinion, of course... > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 In response to the question about whether we have seen our BP parents suffer consequences... For me it is so obvious... My NADA has no close relationships in her life... She thinks she does... but everyone around her " walks on eggshells " and only says what they believe will be " safe " things to say... My NADA has lost out on what should be one of the closest, most loving relationships in her life... (her daughters)... In my opinion, (I have four boys), the biggest loss I could ever have would be to lose my kids, either through death or emotional separation... I do also agree with what has been said by some in here in that they (our BP parents) may seem to be prospering here on earth but it is temporary... I firmly believe we will be judged according to the way we live in this world... I agree with one of you who said that she is storing up her investments eternally (not temporarily.)... I relate a lot to songs and if you are of Christian faith you might find the song by Mercy Me comforting... Here is the main chorus line... Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free Bring me anything that brings You glory And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain I have had thoughts just like many of you have mentioned (why me? why this?) but I truely believe in God's plan for me and I believe that I was delivered from the pain and torture in order to be a light to shine for those who do not know God and may have struggles in their life.. IF He pulled me out of what He did, He can pull them out too.... Just my opinion, of course... > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 In response to the question about whether we have seen our BP parents suffer consequences... For me it is so obvious... My NADA has no close relationships in her life... She thinks she does... but everyone around her " walks on eggshells " and only says what they believe will be " safe " things to say... My NADA has lost out on what should be one of the closest, most loving relationships in her life... (her daughters)... In my opinion, (I have four boys), the biggest loss I could ever have would be to lose my kids, either through death or emotional separation... I do also agree with what has been said by some in here in that they (our BP parents) may seem to be prospering here on earth but it is temporary... I firmly believe we will be judged according to the way we live in this world... I agree with one of you who said that she is storing up her investments eternally (not temporarily.)... I relate a lot to songs and if you are of Christian faith you might find the song by Mercy Me comforting... Here is the main chorus line... Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free Bring me anything that brings You glory And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain I have had thoughts just like many of you have mentioned (why me? why this?) but I truely believe in God's plan for me and I believe that I was delivered from the pain and torture in order to be a light to shine for those who do not know God and may have struggles in their life.. IF He pulled me out of what He did, He can pull them out too.... Just my opinion, of course... > > > > I was just listening to a lecture, (I'm attending Seminary) and the professor said: If we choose to live such a way that we are abusive to other people, there are consequences, both for the abuser and the abused. > > > > It got me thinking. > > > > I've never once seen nada, fada, or my ex-husband ever suffer consequences for their abuse. I seem to have suffered all of theirs for them. > > > > Am I blind? Has anyone seen a BPD/abusive FOO suffer consequences? They are immune to remorse, they cover well enough to fool everyone . . . > > > > I'm just wondering if I'm missing something. As far as I can tell, they get off without suffering any consequences for their behavior. > > > > I'd love to hear another's viewpoint on this one. This one still really, really bothered me, even after 2 years NC. > > > > Thanks, > > Karla > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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