Nada Strikes Again (and at the worst possible moment)

[Guest guest]

Hey!

So as some of you know, I'm 19, in college, recently went NC, getting back in

touch with formerly estranged family members, and bout to fly up to Canada to

visit my dad, half-brother, and half-sister for the first time in around a

decade (give or take a few years depending on the person).

This weekend, my grandma, who is from Germany but lives in Canada, is flying

back to Canada after an extended stay in Germany. My Nada also randomly chose

this weekend to fly up to Canada and give my dog to my Grandma. 3 generations of

women, 1 airport =P

Nada *just* sent me this email, and since I don't get to see my therapist

tomorrow because of my flight, I'm freaking out about how to process this on top

of going into another emotionally charged situation. So I'm going to break all

my Nada's rules about " not making her look good " " what happens at home stays at

home " " saying bad things about her " and post the email here along with my

comments. I don't know what I'm asking for, but feel free to share anything and

everything! I've left her spelling and sentences alone and inserted my comments

***[like this].

****

I haven't heard from you but hope you are enjoying summer. ***[yeah no shit,

remember the letter I sent saying I would NOT be contacting you *at least* for

the summer and I asked you to do the same]

I am writing because I am really up for a lot of hard work next month with

school . It's my dream, as you know. ***[oh I know, you dragged me through

every step of the process, you made me edit your essays even when I was sick or

home on " vacation " . Where were you when I applied to college? Oh yeah, washing

your hands of everything, even the clearly marked " to be filled out by

parent/guardian " forms]

I dont know where you live or how ***[or how? you probably didn't mean that as a

judgment, but I feel judged... or how my ass, I'm perfectly capable of living on

my own, I've only been living away from home since I was ELEVEN and paying for

it since I was EIGHTEEN]...but i am trying to make the best decision under the

circumstance and before I fly to Canada.

I'd love to keep D here. ***[Delilah, my dog who she threatens to get rid of

every time she gets mad at me]

I just really feel all alone with three dogs and it has been so expensive and

even where I am staying they don't allow three ***[first of all, when our family

dog was sick, you got a dog all for yourself. the family dog dies, and I didn't

want to replace him, but you adopted two chihuahuas (and blamed me for getting

them even though I said that we might not be able to handle three total) then

the chichuachuas had a puppy (Delilah). We got rid of the parents and were down

to two dogs. You wanted another crested hairless, and I WARNED YOU that three

dogs could be too much, especially while I was away at school, but you got that

3rd one anyways. NOT MY PROBLEM]

I've kept her and loved her ***[you mean not feeding her enough, leaving her at

home because you don't like her, verbally abusing her to strangers, shoving her

off things that are TOO bloody high] for sooo long and would like to continue

but in May I got really sick with a reactivation of shingles and had it not been

for one nurses rescue , I would have been in a wheelchair today ***[shingles is

HORRIBLY painful, but it is NOT life threatening and CANNOT put you in a

wheelchair... or at least that's what my medical findings have been, if anyone

knows for sure, PLEASE LET ME KNOW]. The disease gets worse on recurrences.I

could not work. My pills cost 300 ***[so, the price you'll drop on a dress or

fabric or shoes that you barely use, but HAVE to have even when you turn around

and say " oh hey, I can't afford your tuition anymore " or " I have to eat cabbage

every day to put you through school " (not true)] Even Estella ***[her maid]

could not come near me. And before that, I had fallen at a hotel while

trying to find a place. My tailbone was damaged and the docs found out from

Xrays that all these years of back pain are from excess arthrits on my lower

back and the fact that I have four bones like wings in my pelvis not two (which

is normal) and they keep moving around / hence the pain and arthritis. [why is

this relevant?] And yet I still managed to care for all the dogs and Delilah

adores me as always ***[oh yeah, guild trip]. I would missher and cry very much

if she was gone ***[of COURSE you're the victim here] but I don't have any

reason to logically keep her: I have school, you are busy creating your own

life, I am stress prone and I have to somehow run my business at the same time

while studying ***[oh yes, being a $20-something-a-minute phone psychic that

yells at her clients is *soooo* difficult to manage]. If there was ANYYhing I

could do or hear from you ***[OOOHHHHHHH so THAT'S what you want, to hear from

me, eh?] about keeping her I would ! Estella says D loves me sooooo much and I

love her enormously too***[that's like the " everytime you X G-d kills a kitten

logic]. But my head says I've made too many mistakes in the past by following

my heart ...and it's now time to use logic. Please give me your blessing to

take her to my mom. My mom isn't perfect and she criticised my new apartment

bbefore she even saw it ***[um, ok... how is that relevant?]. And yet she was

do good and caring for ugliy raggedy little ricky ***[Grandma fell in love with

a dog my mum adopted, and my mum didn't like the dog much, so she gave him to

Grandma]. She eould make D very happy with love that is not like to a daughtet

but to something that is like to a baby and fun and easy.

Regatdless of what my mom says, My apattment is so alive and modern***[ok...

still not sure how this is relevant]. The dogs love it too and there's so much

nature and friendly residents and children. I think of you everyday and wonder

how or if you would be pleased!

Mom said she spoke with you six weeks ago...and it was ok.***[uh, grandma didn't

tell me about this... I should ask her about it]

Again I would do anything to hear a better option. ***[fuck you, you're not

hearing from me. Grandma is a MUCH better dog owner than you are, and I've SEEN

it with my own damn eyes. I've been looking forward to this change for WEEKS]

******

Ok guys,

thanks,

frances