Re: Re: Can't believe i'm not alone

[Guest guest]

I had the same experience. Almost word fro word what you said:) It has been

like a whole new world opened up to me. First I thought it was me. I just

had to try harder. The few people I told some things too would say. It's

just the nationality thing Siclians are all drama ..It's a cultural

thing...My cousin would say they are all like that meaning my Nadas family

of origine But No this is diffrent people who don't live with it don't

understand. And I'm to embarressed to tell people most of the things she

does. when my Nada meets my friends she is sweet wonderful and funny..they

love her...so how can they understand what I go thru.

But here there is understanding..compasion and strength:)

>

>

> I had a similar " awakening " ...

>

> After several months of therapy (actually, closer to a year), my therapist

> opened with: I've never worked with your mother, so I can't diagnose her,

> but from what I've heard, she sounds like she has BPD. Actually, I have a

> book you might find useful. " She then handed me " Surviving the Borderline

> Parent. "

>

> I had no idea there was a name for what I went through. It was like having

> a huge load lifted off my shoulders.

>

> So yeah, welcome =)

> Frances

>

>

>

> >

> > I've been seeing my therapist for about 2 years now. I talk to her a lot

> about my family, especially my " crazy " mother, or at least what I had

> thought at the time and almost my entire life. After about a year of seeing

> her(my therapist)had told me that of course because she hadn't seen my

> mother personally that she couldn't diagnose her, but she could tell me from

> what I told her over the past year about my mother that she was fairly

> certain that she had Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never heard of

> it. She wrote down the name of a book and author,(Stop Walking on Egg Shells

> by Randi Kreger). I stuck it in my wallet. Almost a year later (last week) I

> find the piece of paper, check the book out and I am so completely baffled

> by how the book seems to me to be almost written about my mother herself.

> Rather excited about finding out that there are others out there just like

> me, I log on to the website, and here I am!

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Me too. I thought for years " what is wrong with me? " It is so refreshing to know

that nothing is wrong with me personally but that I was brought up with parents

who were unable to be parents. It is a step in healing. At least I don't blame

and beat myself up to the degree that I used to.

Understanding the Borderline Mother is another book that described my mother

exactly. And I couldnt' believe that there were others that had this same type

of behavior. I used to think that there was something wrong with me and that is

why I " couldn't " get along with my mother and we had this really superficial,

crappy relationship. Now I understand that she is like a 2 year old and I cannot

have a mother daughter relalationship that is healthy with a wounded 2 year old.

She just calls me to use me to dump her negative feelings. ie fear, anger etc.

Never is it joy.

 

Fiona-another similiarity-our mothers must be twins because you and I experience

so many of the same reactions to them.

 

Subject: Re: Can't believe i'm not alone

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Monday, July 26, 2010, 7:23 AM

 

I'm glad you're here! (Well, not " glad, " you know what I mean--happy you've

found support.)

I was thinking the same thing the other day, how throughout ALL of my life, I

would think " what is wrong with me?? am I not loving enough? am I not doing

enough??, etc., why is she so difficult to relate with/to? "

it's so good to find others in the same boat.

>

> I've been seeing my therapist for about 2 years now. I talk to her a lot about

my family, especially my " crazy " mother, or at least what I had thought at the

time and almost my entire life. After about a year of seeing her(my

therapist)had told me that of course because she hadn't seen my mother

personally that she couldn't diagnose her, but she could tell me from what I

told her over the past year about my mother that she was fairly certain that she

had Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never heard of it. She wrote down the

name of a book and author,(Stop Walking on Egg Shells by Randi Kreger). I stuck

it in my wallet. Almost a year later (last week) I find the piece of paper,

check the book out and I am so completely baffled by how the book seems to me to

be almost written about my mother herself. Rather excited about finding out that

there are others out there just like me, I log on to the website, and here I am!

>

[Guest guest]

I introduced my therapist to Understanding the Borderline Mother and now she

gives it to everyone she can, lol. She introduced me to Walking on Eggshells.

I wish my mother could have read, " I HATE YOU DON'T LEAVE ME " . I think she might

have found some validation in that one.

Re: Can't believe i'm not alone

I had a similar " awakening " ...

After several months of therapy (actually, closer to a year), my therapist

opened with: I've never worked with your mother, so I can't diagnose her, but

from what I've heard, she sounds like she has BPD. Actually, I have a book you

might find useful. " She then handed me " Surviving the Borderline Parent. "

I had no idea there was a name for what I went through. It was like having a

huge load lifted off my shoulders.

So yeah, welcome =)

Frances

>

> I've been seeing my therapist for about 2 years now. I talk to her a lot about

my family, especially my " crazy " mother, or at least what I had thought at the

time and almost my entire life. After about a year of seeing her(my

therapist)had told me that of course because she hadn't seen my mother

personally that she couldn't diagnose her, but she could tell me from what I

told her over the past year about my mother that she was fairly certain that she

had Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never heard of it. She wrote down the

name of a book and author,(Stop Walking on Egg Shells by Randi Kreger). I stuck

it in my wallet. Almost a year later (last week) I find the piece of paper,

check the book out and I am so completely baffled by how the book seems to me to

be almost written about my mother herself. Rather excited about finding out that

there are others out there just like me, I log on to the website, and here I am!

>

[Guest guest]

I introduced my therapist to Understanding the Borderline Mother and now she

gives it to everyone she can, lol. She introduced me to Walking on Eggshells.

I wish my mother could have read, " I HATE YOU DON'T LEAVE ME " . I think she might

have found some validation in that one.

Re: Can't believe i'm not alone

I had a similar " awakening " ...

After several months of therapy (actually, closer to a year), my therapist

opened with: I've never worked with your mother, so I can't diagnose her, but

from what I've heard, she sounds like she has BPD. Actually, I have a book you

might find useful. " She then handed me " Surviving the Borderline Parent. "

I had no idea there was a name for what I went through. It was like having a

huge load lifted off my shoulders.

So yeah, welcome =)

Frances

>

> I've been seeing my therapist for about 2 years now. I talk to her a lot about

my family, especially my " crazy " mother, or at least what I had thought at the

time and almost my entire life. After about a year of seeing her(my

therapist)had told me that of course because she hadn't seen my mother

personally that she couldn't diagnose her, but she could tell me from what I

told her over the past year about my mother that she was fairly certain that she

had Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never heard of it. She wrote down the

name of a book and author,(Stop Walking on Egg Shells by Randi Kreger). I stuck

it in my wallet. Almost a year later (last week) I find the piece of paper,

check the book out and I am so completely baffled by how the book seems to me to

be almost written about my mother herself. Rather excited about finding out that

there are others out there just like me, I log on to the website, and here I am!

>

[Guest guest]

I introduced my therapist to Understanding the Borderline Mother and now she

gives it to everyone she can, lol. She introduced me to Walking on Eggshells.

I wish my mother could have read, " I HATE YOU DON'T LEAVE ME " . I think she might

have found some validation in that one.

Re: Can't believe i'm not alone

I had a similar " awakening " ...

After several months of therapy (actually, closer to a year), my therapist

opened with: I've never worked with your mother, so I can't diagnose her, but

from what I've heard, she sounds like she has BPD. Actually, I have a book you

might find useful. " She then handed me " Surviving the Borderline Parent. "

I had no idea there was a name for what I went through. It was like having a

huge load lifted off my shoulders.

So yeah, welcome =)

Frances

>

> I've been seeing my therapist for about 2 years now. I talk to her a lot about

my family, especially my " crazy " mother, or at least what I had thought at the

time and almost my entire life. After about a year of seeing her(my

therapist)had told me that of course because she hadn't seen my mother

personally that she couldn't diagnose her, but she could tell me from what I

told her over the past year about my mother that she was fairly certain that she

had Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never heard of it. She wrote down the

name of a book and author,(Stop Walking on Egg Shells by Randi Kreger). I stuck

it in my wallet. Almost a year later (last week) I find the piece of paper,

check the book out and I am so completely baffled by how the book seems to me to

be almost written about my mother herself. Rather excited about finding out that

there are others out there just like me, I log on to the website, and here I am!

>