Re: advice for what to expect with NC

[Guest guest]

Thank you both (and everyone) for your thoughts and advice. I know it's

impossible to " prepare " for feelings, but that's just what I do. In

" preparation " I have been journaling with concrete examples of what nada does

and why it's unhealthy. Since I am currently numb, I wrote a letter to myself

that will hopefully give me strength when the numbness wears off.

I talked to nada and fada today since it's sunday...they were pretending to be

nice and normal again because I'm sure they can sense that I'm trying to

separate. I'm so glad that my nada (and fada) are so crazy they can't help but

let it out. Here are snippets of their " best behavior "

nada: fada wants to know what you look like

me: I'm healthy

nada: what?? are you fat??

me: no, but I'm healthy, that's all that should matter

nada: yeah whatever, but you're not fat right? have the building staff take a

picture of you and email it to us. are you at home right now?

she also asked when she could come to town so i can take her on a shopping trip.

two weeks ago she told me to f*ck off and get the h*ll out of her life.

Apparently she didn't need to apologize/acknowledge that but we are now best

friends

and then she started talking about the same boy she wants to set me up with. he

has a younger brother who his family wants to set me up with but my mom wants me

to marry the older brother (yeah, please note, " set up " means introduce and

marry).

nada: the older brother is a surgeon, the younger brother is interested in

research or teaching or something, he's at stanford. So I like the older one

better.

me: well, I don't know either of them but it sounds like I would get along

better with the younger one

nada: well I like the older one better, the younger one is *only a phd.

*her preference clearly trumps mine and I am expected to marry the *brother* she

likes better....I wouldn't even be allowed to marry the other brother. insane.

and of course she made me swear and promise that i won't tell him i left

residency. i can say i'm taking a two year break and then will go back

(incidentally, i really think this is what nada and fada think I'm doing). sigh.

and this is the absolute best they've behaved in a really long time. amazing.

> >

> > I'm planning on going completely NC with nada in Aug and will cut off every

possible means of communication. I have never tried to do this before and I'm

expecting the worst (from her), and also some rough emotions. I've been trying

LC for several months and I anticipated that nada would fight it, but I never

imagined that she would flip into complete crazy mode for months because I only

wanted to talk once a week.

> >

> > I know many of you are either in a permanent NC situation or have done NC at

some point. What should I anticipate from nada, or challenges I'll face on my

own?

> >

> > Thanks!

> >

> >

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