Re: Hmm, interesting day, followed by more formal introduction

[Guest guest]

Laurie-I hope your night was successful, and glad my writing could help you. Mine has been a so-so win. I had a few more chips (pringles) and a couple mimosas, but I skipped the rest. It probably about evened out, but I don't feel quite as bad and my husband and I did have a nice evening. Nice to hear that someone else is a nibble nibble-er too.I agree, it's often that feeling of not accomplishing, not doing what I should have that leads to some of my binges. I think that it's in part society. Our world keeps getting busier and what we are expected to accomplish keeps getting longer. When we don't manage that, for whatever reason, it's hard to be gentle to ourselves and remember our own worth.I'm glad for your sister, but sorry

for the pain her loss is causing you. My sister and I were talking about weight loss yesterday. She recently went to the Dr and was appalled at her weight. To that end, she's dieting. I tried talking to her about IE, but she told me it was a fad and asked to stop talking about it because it was upsetting her. She just wanted to make jokes, but was trying not to for me. It distresses me that she won't listen with an open mind and despite all the studies showing differently thinks a diet will change her life. I know you have to be ready to hear it, but I wish more people could be ready sooner. DawnTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, June 11, 2010 8:32:38 PMSubject: Hmm, interesting day, followed by more formal introduction

Hi, Dawn,

I'm glad you wrote, because I'm sitting here on the edge of a binge, too, the same kind you do: nibble a bit of this, then a bit of that, then more of this...

So instead of doing that, let's do something else. I think I'm going to go make myself useful, do something, accomplish something, because that will take my mind off the next thing I'm thinking of eating. I haven't accomplished much of anything today, and I think that's what's bothering me, that and the fact that I just heard my sister has lost 60 pounds and I'm going to see her in a month, and god help me, I'm jealous. So eating is not going to make this feeling better, or the feeling of not having accomplished anything much today. But maybe doing some things will help, and then I'm going to read one of my IE books and sit with my feelings and try to let myself realize that it's ok to feel.

Let's be kind to ourselves tonight so we don't get back on that eat-regret cycle that is so self-destructive. You already showed incredible courage by writing to the group. You can carry through with that courage and just back away from the food, gently, kindly.

Thanks for writing. You really helped me.

Laurie

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

Thanks for writing. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.

However, I want to commend you on the excellent work you are doing! You are making some powerful connections in your head. Which is amazing! This work has to happen before you will see changes in your behavior. And I think Geneen Roth might suggest working on not beating yourself up, first and foremost, and work on changing your eating later... if it doesn't take care of itself automatically from taking the former step!

Also, what if instead of saying, and thinking, that you " gave in " to your craving, you said that you " honored your craving " in making your chocolate mint pie? Honoring a craving is a GREAT thing. And it sounds like you are eating it consciously (ie not binging), and savoring it, which is also awesome!

What else has been going on for you today? Has anything else happened to make you feel badly about yourself? I wonder if the binging is helping to reinforce the bad feelings, by beating you up emotionally?

The more I work on IE... and I still have so much to learn... the more I think it had nothing to do with food, and everything to do with learning to take care of ourselves emotionally (which includes giving up the idea that food can do this for us). I think you did awesome, scary work today, and it's not surprising that this sent you running for the old comfort of food. What if you turn this on its head, and celebrated your great success today, at facing your fears? (Because it sounds like you did stand up to your inner critic, which told you how irresponsible you are for losing your Bluetooth, which is huge!) If this is hard to do, imagine you were counseling your own small child (could even be YOU as a small child) through this struggle. How tender and loving and encouraging could you be for them? Does the you today deserve any less?

Good luck, and keep us posted, and don't despair... this is a process, and it DOES get easier.

Best,

Abby

 

So, today has been a rough day. I don't know why, except for the 3 hrs I thought I'd lost my bluetooth headpiece and spent beating myself up over it, but it's leading to what for me is a binge. I don't sit down and eat til I feel sick. I will snack all night. It started by eating a few more chips than planned while thinking how irresponsible I was after not finding the bluetooth. Then dinner was just not doing it for me, but I ate it anyway because it was dinner and it was all things I like so it should have done it for me. Then I ate the left over chicken, the worst part of dinner, but you know, there wasn't a lot there, oh and a couple small chocolate chip cookies, I mean, why not, I made them Wednesday and have only ate 3. I went and got stuff out of the car. That led to a few more chips. I tried a bite of candy, that led to more chips, too sweet. Yuck!

Now we are up to the current moment, when the sight of a specific Tupperware bowl has me wanting to eat chicken nuggets in buffalo wing sauce. I want the flavor of the sauce. I have plans to have some mint chocolate pie later in the night with my husband. I gave into a craving yesterday and we are taking it slow, it will take an easy 3-4 days to finish, and I've been eating slices that are less than 1/8th of the pie. Although, I will admit that if my husband and I were to actually make it to the pie, I was thinking of a whole 8th. But really I'm a salt person, so now I want the buffalo sauce too. What's sad about this, is I will eat all of this in small enough amounts and spread over enough time that I will never feel physically horrible about eating it. I will however feel mentally horrible. I will know that I overate what my body needed, etc.

Introduction part: So, About the first of the year I found myself standing in my pantry asking " what will make me feel better. " Ding, ding, ding! At that moment I knew that I needed to change my relationship with food. Believe it or not, I've never done an actual diet in my life, never have believed in it. Found truth in , Never Say Diet book. Might mention that I'm 32ish, and I've been surrounded by dieters, so while I'VE never dieted, I have the diet mentality. Well, after this mental realization, my mother (who hasn't read it) recommended Intuitive Eating to me. Amazing. Here was exactly what I'd been thinking, only expanded on. This week I've been reading Women, Food and God. I spent last night going, 'but, I don't think I have some of those hang ups. I don't think I beat myself up or think I'm unworthy . . . " Well, if you remember the episode with the bluetooth today. That was telling. I'm sitting there, in that parking lot, can't find this tiny $80 thing, calling myself all sorts of things. Another, ding, ding, ding moment. Especially as I kept eating chips and suddenly, my plan to go home and eat leftovers, ones I like and was looking forward to, became hard to stick to. I wanted Pizza. Grease, fat, cheese, salt, bread, and the only reason I wanted it was I was sad and depressed and down and mad at myself.

I don't really know anymore where I was going with this. I started typing in the hope that perhaps, writing it would keep me from making the buffalo sauce. Not sure if it worked yet, but I know it's helped. Thanks, Dawn

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

Thanks for writing. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.

However, I want to commend you on the excellent work you are doing! You are making some powerful connections in your head. Which is amazing! This work has to happen before you will see changes in your behavior. And I think Geneen Roth might suggest working on not beating yourself up, first and foremost, and work on changing your eating later... if it doesn't take care of itself automatically from taking the former step!

Also, what if instead of saying, and thinking, that you " gave in " to your craving, you said that you " honored your craving " in making your chocolate mint pie? Honoring a craving is a GREAT thing. And it sounds like you are eating it consciously (ie not binging), and savoring it, which is also awesome!

What else has been going on for you today? Has anything else happened to make you feel badly about yourself? I wonder if the binging is helping to reinforce the bad feelings, by beating you up emotionally?

The more I work on IE... and I still have so much to learn... the more I think it had nothing to do with food, and everything to do with learning to take care of ourselves emotionally (which includes giving up the idea that food can do this for us). I think you did awesome, scary work today, and it's not surprising that this sent you running for the old comfort of food. What if you turn this on its head, and celebrated your great success today, at facing your fears? (Because it sounds like you did stand up to your inner critic, which told you how irresponsible you are for losing your Bluetooth, which is huge!) If this is hard to do, imagine you were counseling your own small child (could even be YOU as a small child) through this struggle. How tender and loving and encouraging could you be for them? Does the you today deserve any less?

Good luck, and keep us posted, and don't despair... this is a process, and it DOES get easier.

Best,

Abby

 

So, today has been a rough day. I don't know why, except for the 3 hrs I thought I'd lost my bluetooth headpiece and spent beating myself up over it, but it's leading to what for me is a binge. I don't sit down and eat til I feel sick. I will snack all night. It started by eating a few more chips than planned while thinking how irresponsible I was after not finding the bluetooth. Then dinner was just not doing it for me, but I ate it anyway because it was dinner and it was all things I like so it should have done it for me. Then I ate the left over chicken, the worst part of dinner, but you know, there wasn't a lot there, oh and a couple small chocolate chip cookies, I mean, why not, I made them Wednesday and have only ate 3. I went and got stuff out of the car. That led to a few more chips. I tried a bite of candy, that led to more chips, too sweet. Yuck!

Now we are up to the current moment, when the sight of a specific Tupperware bowl has me wanting to eat chicken nuggets in buffalo wing sauce. I want the flavor of the sauce. I have plans to have some mint chocolate pie later in the night with my husband. I gave into a craving yesterday and we are taking it slow, it will take an easy 3-4 days to finish, and I've been eating slices that are less than 1/8th of the pie. Although, I will admit that if my husband and I were to actually make it to the pie, I was thinking of a whole 8th. But really I'm a salt person, so now I want the buffalo sauce too. What's sad about this, is I will eat all of this in small enough amounts and spread over enough time that I will never feel physically horrible about eating it. I will however feel mentally horrible. I will know that I overate what my body needed, etc.

Introduction part: So, About the first of the year I found myself standing in my pantry asking " what will make me feel better. " Ding, ding, ding! At that moment I knew that I needed to change my relationship with food. Believe it or not, I've never done an actual diet in my life, never have believed in it. Found truth in , Never Say Diet book. Might mention that I'm 32ish, and I've been surrounded by dieters, so while I'VE never dieted, I have the diet mentality. Well, after this mental realization, my mother (who hasn't read it) recommended Intuitive Eating to me. Amazing. Here was exactly what I'd been thinking, only expanded on. This week I've been reading Women, Food and God. I spent last night going, 'but, I don't think I have some of those hang ups. I don't think I beat myself up or think I'm unworthy . . . " Well, if you remember the episode with the bluetooth today. That was telling. I'm sitting there, in that parking lot, can't find this tiny $80 thing, calling myself all sorts of things. Another, ding, ding, ding moment. Especially as I kept eating chips and suddenly, my plan to go home and eat leftovers, ones I like and was looking forward to, became hard to stick to. I wanted Pizza. Grease, fat, cheese, salt, bread, and the only reason I wanted it was I was sad and depressed and down and mad at myself.

I don't really know anymore where I was going with this. I started typing in the hope that perhaps, writing it would keep me from making the buffalo sauce. Not sure if it worked yet, but I know it's helped. Thanks, Dawn

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

Thanks for writing. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.

However, I want to commend you on the excellent work you are doing! You are making some powerful connections in your head. Which is amazing! This work has to happen before you will see changes in your behavior. And I think Geneen Roth might suggest working on not beating yourself up, first and foremost, and work on changing your eating later... if it doesn't take care of itself automatically from taking the former step!

Also, what if instead of saying, and thinking, that you " gave in " to your craving, you said that you " honored your craving " in making your chocolate mint pie? Honoring a craving is a GREAT thing. And it sounds like you are eating it consciously (ie not binging), and savoring it, which is also awesome!

What else has been going on for you today? Has anything else happened to make you feel badly about yourself? I wonder if the binging is helping to reinforce the bad feelings, by beating you up emotionally?

The more I work on IE... and I still have so much to learn... the more I think it had nothing to do with food, and everything to do with learning to take care of ourselves emotionally (which includes giving up the idea that food can do this for us). I think you did awesome, scary work today, and it's not surprising that this sent you running for the old comfort of food. What if you turn this on its head, and celebrated your great success today, at facing your fears? (Because it sounds like you did stand up to your inner critic, which told you how irresponsible you are for losing your Bluetooth, which is huge!) If this is hard to do, imagine you were counseling your own small child (could even be YOU as a small child) through this struggle. How tender and loving and encouraging could you be for them? Does the you today deserve any less?

Good luck, and keep us posted, and don't despair... this is a process, and it DOES get easier.

Best,

Abby

 

So, today has been a rough day. I don't know why, except for the 3 hrs I thought I'd lost my bluetooth headpiece and spent beating myself up over it, but it's leading to what for me is a binge. I don't sit down and eat til I feel sick. I will snack all night. It started by eating a few more chips than planned while thinking how irresponsible I was after not finding the bluetooth. Then dinner was just not doing it for me, but I ate it anyway because it was dinner and it was all things I like so it should have done it for me. Then I ate the left over chicken, the worst part of dinner, but you know, there wasn't a lot there, oh and a couple small chocolate chip cookies, I mean, why not, I made them Wednesday and have only ate 3. I went and got stuff out of the car. That led to a few more chips. I tried a bite of candy, that led to more chips, too sweet. Yuck!

Now we are up to the current moment, when the sight of a specific Tupperware bowl has me wanting to eat chicken nuggets in buffalo wing sauce. I want the flavor of the sauce. I have plans to have some mint chocolate pie later in the night with my husband. I gave into a craving yesterday and we are taking it slow, it will take an easy 3-4 days to finish, and I've been eating slices that are less than 1/8th of the pie. Although, I will admit that if my husband and I were to actually make it to the pie, I was thinking of a whole 8th. But really I'm a salt person, so now I want the buffalo sauce too. What's sad about this, is I will eat all of this in small enough amounts and spread over enough time that I will never feel physically horrible about eating it. I will however feel mentally horrible. I will know that I overate what my body needed, etc.

Introduction part: So, About the first of the year I found myself standing in my pantry asking " what will make me feel better. " Ding, ding, ding! At that moment I knew that I needed to change my relationship with food. Believe it or not, I've never done an actual diet in my life, never have believed in it. Found truth in , Never Say Diet book. Might mention that I'm 32ish, and I've been surrounded by dieters, so while I'VE never dieted, I have the diet mentality. Well, after this mental realization, my mother (who hasn't read it) recommended Intuitive Eating to me. Amazing. Here was exactly what I'd been thinking, only expanded on. This week I've been reading Women, Food and God. I spent last night going, 'but, I don't think I have some of those hang ups. I don't think I beat myself up or think I'm unworthy . . . " Well, if you remember the episode with the bluetooth today. That was telling. I'm sitting there, in that parking lot, can't find this tiny $80 thing, calling myself all sorts of things. Another, ding, ding, ding moment. Especially as I kept eating chips and suddenly, my plan to go home and eat leftovers, ones I like and was looking forward to, became hard to stick to. I wanted Pizza. Grease, fat, cheese, salt, bread, and the only reason I wanted it was I was sad and depressed and down and mad at myself.

I don't really know anymore where I was going with this. I started typing in the hope that perhaps, writing it would keep me from making the buffalo sauce. Not sure if it worked yet, but I know it's helped. Thanks, Dawn