Re: too tramatized to be a good daughter in law

August 20, 2010

Yes! This topic really resonates with me. I have been married for 5 years

(together for 9 total). We live in a different state from DH's family. We

see them twice a year. I struggle with trying to figure out if my

perceptions are correct or not. I want so badly to belong, and to feel close

with them. Being from a BPD family (raised by my mother with no siblings or

extended family) I have no sense of what " normal " is. So I am always

watching for signs and clues about impending doom so I can protect myself.

Is this more about my fleas, than it is about them? I don't know, but it is

draining. Years ago I worked up my nerve and asked if I could call my MIL

" Mom " (her children call her " Ma " , and her other DIL calls her " mom " ). She

got quiet and then said " ...or you could just call me Anne. " Yikes

She has always signed her emails and cards to me and my husband like this...

" Love,

Ma/Anne "

I always feel offended by this, but I have never said anything about it.

Does she not think that I am well aware of the fact that she is his " ma " and

not mine? Does she think I am a dingbat who will wonder who " Ma " is unless

she identifies herself as " Anne " ? It feels soooooooooo passive-aggressive

to me. What do you think? Am I being overly sensitive? Should I accept it

and ignore it, or is it better to address it head-on? I have never been

good at the head-on thing...another flea, no doubt.

Thanks,

K

On Thu, Aug 19, 2010 at 9:17 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

>

> Hey Guys,

> Does anyone have issues with their partner's family?.......

>

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