Re: a thought on emotional eating

[Guest guest]

April I am having that experience today. I am emotionally overeating, but I am

not bingeing. The eating is soothing me. My hubby is upstairs smoking pot and

watching football and instead of feeling lonely and neglected I am soothing my

self with food and not feeling guilty about it.

[Guest guest]

April I am having that experience today. I am emotionally overeating, but I am

not bingeing. The eating is soothing me. My hubby is upstairs smoking pot and

watching football and instead of feeling lonely and neglected I am soothing my

self with food and not feeling guilty about it.

[Guest guest]

April I am having that experience today. I am emotionally overeating, but I am

not bingeing. The eating is soothing me. My hubby is upstairs smoking pot and

watching football and instead of feeling lonely and neglected I am soothing my

self with food and not feeling guilty about it.

[Guest guest]

Hi April,

Thanks for your post. I have always been an emotional eater and struggled with

IE a lot because I could not get a handle on my emotional eating until recently.

I read " Shrink Yourself " and it had a significant effect on me and I have not

binged once since!! This is the most I've gone without binging - ever!

I finally realized that I was always operating on automatic... that is, as soon

as I started to feel anything slightly uncomfortable, without knowing it, I

would stuff it down with food. It was a habit I learned as a child and never

learned to deal with or change. I was always running away from my feelings

instead of recognizing them doing something productive with them. And after

eating, the focus would become on the massive guilt of overeating (as usually I

was feeling sick to my stomach) instead of the real issue that prompted me to

eat in the first place and the cycle would continue...

I think its a great first step to acknowledge and recognize your feelings and

eat if you feel like you need to. But may also want think about what else you

can do to soothe yourself besides using food. I find that I love going out for

a walk, or talking to a friend, or writing in my journal, or making some tea, or

just sitting with the feeling for a little bit and talking to myself in a

positive voice... Amazingly, the feeling starts to go away. Its a matter of

being really present and giving yourself a moment to think about what you are

doing. I would really recommend reading the book. I feel that only after

learning to listen to my emotions and productively take care of my feelings have

I been able to finally do IE and listen to my body.

Hope this helps!

M.

>

> Hi, All .

> I had an insight about my own emotional eating that I wanted to share

> and ask if anyone else resonates with it. I realized that I've been trying

> too hard to do IE " right " , that is, to give up emotional eating and just eat

> according to my internal signals. It's left me feeling like a bit of a

> failure for the ways in which I'm still eating emotionally (and still not

> losing weight - or even gaining some).

> What I realized is that I'm jumping some steps in the process. I seem

> to actually need to say, " Yes, I'm eating emotionally right now " - noticing

> that I'm tired or sad or frustrated or bored or feeling sorry for myself -

> " and eating to soothe myself is the best I can do at the moment so it's

> okay. " I feel like I really need to give myself permission - unconditional

> permission - to comfort myself with food when I need to. I need to stop

telling

> myself that I have to " give it up " and instead reassure myself that I

> don't have to give it up until I'm ready to and until I can find other ways

to

> handle those feelings.

> I've done this a few times over the last week and it's had a very

> calming effect on me. Knowing and acknowledging that I'm eating to soothe

myself

> seems also to allow me to eat just enough to soothe me, and not make me

> feel like I have to keep eating in an out of control way. The reality, for me,

> is that food is in fact soothing to some degree. And it seems that giving

> myself full permission to use food this way if I have to also allows me to

> stay in my body and remember that I don't actually enjoy the feeling of

> being stuffed and uncomfortable.

> Anyone else have this experience or relate to it?

> April

>

[Guest guest]

Hi April,

Thanks for your post. I have always been an emotional eater and struggled with

IE a lot because I could not get a handle on my emotional eating until recently.

I read " Shrink Yourself " and it had a significant effect on me and I have not

binged once since!! This is the most I've gone without binging - ever!

I finally realized that I was always operating on automatic... that is, as soon

as I started to feel anything slightly uncomfortable, without knowing it, I

would stuff it down with food. It was a habit I learned as a child and never

learned to deal with or change. I was always running away from my feelings

instead of recognizing them doing something productive with them. And after

eating, the focus would become on the massive guilt of overeating (as usually I

was feeling sick to my stomach) instead of the real issue that prompted me to

eat in the first place and the cycle would continue...

I think its a great first step to acknowledge and recognize your feelings and

eat if you feel like you need to. But may also want think about what else you

can do to soothe yourself besides using food. I find that I love going out for

a walk, or talking to a friend, or writing in my journal, or making some tea, or

just sitting with the feeling for a little bit and talking to myself in a

positive voice... Amazingly, the feeling starts to go away. Its a matter of

being really present and giving yourself a moment to think about what you are

doing. I would really recommend reading the book. I feel that only after

learning to listen to my emotions and productively take care of my feelings have

I been able to finally do IE and listen to my body.

Hope this helps!

M.

>

> Hi, All .

> I had an insight about my own emotional eating that I wanted to share

> and ask if anyone else resonates with it. I realized that I've been trying

> too hard to do IE " right " , that is, to give up emotional eating and just eat

> according to my internal signals. It's left me feeling like a bit of a

> failure for the ways in which I'm still eating emotionally (and still not

> losing weight - or even gaining some).

> What I realized is that I'm jumping some steps in the process. I seem

> to actually need to say, " Yes, I'm eating emotionally right now " - noticing

> that I'm tired or sad or frustrated or bored or feeling sorry for myself -

> " and eating to soothe myself is the best I can do at the moment so it's

> okay. " I feel like I really need to give myself permission - unconditional

> permission - to comfort myself with food when I need to. I need to stop

telling

> myself that I have to " give it up " and instead reassure myself that I

> don't have to give it up until I'm ready to and until I can find other ways

to

> handle those feelings.

> I've done this a few times over the last week and it's had a very

> calming effect on me. Knowing and acknowledging that I'm eating to soothe

myself

> seems also to allow me to eat just enough to soothe me, and not make me

> feel like I have to keep eating in an out of control way. The reality, for me,

> is that food is in fact soothing to some degree. And it seems that giving

> myself full permission to use food this way if I have to also allows me to

> stay in my body and remember that I don't actually enjoy the feeling of

> being stuffed and uncomfortable.

> Anyone else have this experience or relate to it?

> April

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, M.

Thanks so much for sharing this with me. I actually have not only read the book and done the online Shrink Yourself program, I also had a couple of in person sessions with the author of the book, Gould, who I liked a lot.

I'm so happy to hear that you've made real progress with the emotional eating. I've made some but am still struggling. In addition to still learning how to handle some feelings, I do think there's a rebellious part of me that needs to be sure that giving up emotional eating isn't just some new idea to push me around, like another diet. I need to be very clear - in some primitive and slightly nutty part of me - that I have the right and the ability to eat emotionally if I want to, before I'm willing to feel like the choice to give it up is actually my own.

April

Hi April,Thanks for your post. I have always been an emotional eater and struggled with IE a lot because I could not get a handle on my emotional eating until recently. I read "Shrink Yourself" and it had a significant effect on me and I have not binged once since!! This is the most I've gone without binging - ever! I finally realized that I was always operating on automatic... that is, as soon as I started to feel anything slightly uncomfortable, without knowing it, I would stuff it down with food. It was a habit I learned as a child and never learned to deal with or change. I was always running away from my feelings instead of recognizing them doing something productive with them. And after eating, the focus would become on the massive guilt of overeating (as usually I was feeling sick to my stomach) instead of the real issue that prompted me to eat in the first place and the cycle would continue...I think its a great first step to acknowledge and recognize your feelings and eat if you feel like you need to. But may also want think about what else you can do to soothe yourself besides using food. I find that I love going out for a walk, or talking to a friend, or writing in my journal, or making some tea, or just sitting with the feeling for a little bit and talking to myself in a positive voice... Amazingly, the feeling starts to go away. Its a matter of being really present and giving yourself a moment to think about what you are doing. I would really recommend reading the book. I feel that only after learning to listen to my emotions and productively take care of my feelings have I been able to finally do IE and listen to my body.Hope this helps!M.>> Hi, All .> I had an insight about my own emotional eating that I wanted to share > and ask if anyone else resonates with it. I realized that I've been trying > too hard to do IE "right", that is, to give up emotional eating and just eat > according to my internal signals. It's left me feeling like a bit of a > failure for the ways in which I'm still eating emotionally (and still not > losing weight - or even gaining some). > What I realized is that I'm jumping some steps in the process. I seem > to actually need to say, "Yes, I'm eating emotionally right now" - noticing > that I'm tired or sad or frustrated or bored or feeling sorry for myself - > "and eating to soothe myself is the best I can do at the moment so it's > okay." I feel like I really need to give myself permission - unconditional > permission - to comfort myself with food when I need to. I need to stop telling > myself that I have to "give it up" and instead reassure myself that I > don't have to give it up until I'm ready to and until I can find other ways to > handle those feelings. > I've done this a few times over the last week and it's had a very > calming effect on me. Knowing and acknowledging that I'm eating to soothe myself > seems also to allow me to eat just enough to soothe me, and not make me > feel like I have to keep eating in an out of control way. The reality, for me, > is that food is in fact soothing to some degree. And it seems that giving > myself full permission to use food this way if I have to also allows me to > stay in my body and remember that I don't actually enjoy the feeling of > being stuffed and uncomfortable. > Anyone else have this experience or relate to it? > April>------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi, M.

Thanks so much for sharing this with me. I actually have not only read the book and done the online Shrink Yourself program, I also had a couple of in person sessions with the author of the book, Gould, who I liked a lot.

I'm so happy to hear that you've made real progress with the emotional eating. I've made some but am still struggling. In addition to still learning how to handle some feelings, I do think there's a rebellious part of me that needs to be sure that giving up emotional eating isn't just some new idea to push me around, like another diet. I need to be very clear - in some primitive and slightly nutty part of me - that I have the right and the ability to eat emotionally if I want to, before I'm willing to feel like the choice to give it up is actually my own.

April

Hi April,Thanks for your post. I have always been an emotional eater and struggled with IE a lot because I could not get a handle on my emotional eating until recently. I read "Shrink Yourself" and it had a significant effect on me and I have not binged once since!! This is the most I've gone without binging - ever! I finally realized that I was always operating on automatic... that is, as soon as I started to feel anything slightly uncomfortable, without knowing it, I would stuff it down with food. It was a habit I learned as a child and never learned to deal with or change. I was always running away from my feelings instead of recognizing them doing something productive with them. And after eating, the focus would become on the massive guilt of overeating (as usually I was feeling sick to my stomach) instead of the real issue that prompted me to eat in the first place and the cycle would continue...I think its a great first step to acknowledge and recognize your feelings and eat if you feel like you need to. But may also want think about what else you can do to soothe yourself besides using food. I find that I love going out for a walk, or talking to a friend, or writing in my journal, or making some tea, or just sitting with the feeling for a little bit and talking to myself in a positive voice... Amazingly, the feeling starts to go away. Its a matter of being really present and giving yourself a moment to think about what you are doing. I would really recommend reading the book. I feel that only after learning to listen to my emotions and productively take care of my feelings have I been able to finally do IE and listen to my body.Hope this helps!M.>> Hi, All .> I had an insight about my own emotional eating that I wanted to share > and ask if anyone else resonates with it. I realized that I've been trying > too hard to do IE "right", that is, to give up emotional eating and just eat > according to my internal signals. It's left me feeling like a bit of a > failure for the ways in which I'm still eating emotionally (and still not > losing weight - or even gaining some). > What I realized is that I'm jumping some steps in the process. I seem > to actually need to say, "Yes, I'm eating emotionally right now" - noticing > that I'm tired or sad or frustrated or bored or feeling sorry for myself - > "and eating to soothe myself is the best I can do at the moment so it's > okay." I feel like I really need to give myself permission - unconditional > permission - to comfort myself with food when I need to. I need to stop telling > myself that I have to "give it up" and instead reassure myself that I > don't have to give it up until I'm ready to and until I can find other ways to > handle those feelings. > I've done this a few times over the last week and it's had a very > calming effect on me. Knowing and acknowledging that I'm eating to soothe myself > seems also to allow me to eat just enough to soothe me, and not make me > feel like I have to keep eating in an out of control way. The reality, for me, > is that food is in fact soothing to some degree. And it seems that giving > myself full permission to use food this way if I have to also allows me to > stay in my body and remember that I don't actually enjoy the feeling of > being stuffed and uncomfortable. > Anyone else have this experience or relate to it? > April>------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi, Dawn.

Thanks so much for sharing this. It's so helpful to know other people are experiencing the same things.

April

April-Yes, I can relate. I'm doing some of that too. Right now as a matter of fact, as my husband is on a long trip for work, after mostly being home for a while, and my sistere is her, but she isn't quite the help I was hoping for. She's actually making me want to eat a little more. So, I'm finding the thoughts of eating running across my brain often. Good news is that I recognize them for the stress eating they are and have learned that if I can pause they usually go away without food, BUT I'm still letting myself eat some of it just because I want to and I know that it will feel good in a situation that doesn't feel good to me. I feel good about that though, because they are thoughts I wouldn't have had and food I would have ate less than a year ago.Dawn

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, January 9, 2011 2:48:40 PMSubject: a thought on emotional eating

Hi, All .

I had an insight about my own emotional eating that I wanted to share and ask if anyone else resonates with it. I realized that I've been trying too hard to do IE "right", that is, to give up emotional eating and just eat according to my internal signals. It's left me feeling like a bit of a failure for the ways in which I'm still eating emotionally (and still not losing weight - or even gaining some).

What I realized is that I'm jumping some steps in the process. I seem to actually need to say, "Yes, I'm eating emotionally right now" - noticing that I'm tired or sad or frustrated or bored or feeling sorry for myself - "and eating to soothe myself is the best I can do at the moment so it's okay." I feel like I really need to give myself permission - unconditional permission - to comfort myself with food when I need to. I need to stop telling myself that I have to "give it up" and instead reassure myself that I don't have to give it up until I'm ready to and until I can find other ways to handle those feelings.

I've done this a few times over the last week and it's had a very calming effect on me. Knowing and acknowledging that I'm eating to soothe myself seems also to allow me to eat just enough to soothe me, and not make me feel like I have to keep eating in an out of control way. The reality, for me, is that food is in fact soothing to some degree. And it seems that giving myself full permission to use food this way if I have to also allows me to stay in my body and remember that I don't actually enjoy the feeling of being stuffed and uncomfortable.

Anyone else have this experience or relate to it? April

[Guest guest]

Hi, Dawn.

Thanks so much for sharing this. It's so helpful to know other people are experiencing the same things.

April

April-Yes, I can relate. I'm doing some of that too. Right now as a matter of fact, as my husband is on a long trip for work, after mostly being home for a while, and my sistere is her, but she isn't quite the help I was hoping for. She's actually making me want to eat a little more. So, I'm finding the thoughts of eating running across my brain often. Good news is that I recognize them for the stress eating they are and have learned that if I can pause they usually go away without food, BUT I'm still letting myself eat some of it just because I want to and I know that it will feel good in a situation that doesn't feel good to me. I feel good about that though, because they are thoughts I wouldn't have had and food I would have ate less than a year ago.Dawn

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, January 9, 2011 2:48:40 PMSubject: a thought on emotional eating

Hi, All .

I had an insight about my own emotional eating that I wanted to share and ask if anyone else resonates with it. I realized that I've been trying too hard to do IE "right", that is, to give up emotional eating and just eat according to my internal signals. It's left me feeling like a bit of a failure for the ways in which I'm still eating emotionally (and still not losing weight - or even gaining some).

What I realized is that I'm jumping some steps in the process. I seem to actually need to say, "Yes, I'm eating emotionally right now" - noticing that I'm tired or sad or frustrated or bored or feeling sorry for myself - "and eating to soothe myself is the best I can do at the moment so it's okay." I feel like I really need to give myself permission - unconditional permission - to comfort myself with food when I need to. I need to stop telling myself that I have to "give it up" and instead reassure myself that I don't have to give it up until I'm ready to and until I can find other ways to handle those feelings.

I've done this a few times over the last week and it's had a very calming effect on me. Knowing and acknowledging that I'm eating to soothe myself seems also to allow me to eat just enough to soothe me, and not make me feel like I have to keep eating in an out of control way. The reality, for me, is that food is in fact soothing to some degree. And it seems that giving myself full permission to use food this way if I have to also allows me to stay in my body and remember that I don't actually enjoy the feeling of being stuffed and uncomfortable.

Anyone else have this experience or relate to it? April

[Guest guest]

YES!!!! let's get rid of all the shoulds, they are not serving us any longer.

thank you.

mj

>

> Hi, Pam.

> This is wonderful support, in your delightfully Brit way! Thank you!

> I am finding that the more I make satisfaction my goal and refused to

> be pushed around by any

> " shoulds " - and not just the diet shoulds (you should eat less, you

> shouldn't eat this or that food) but also the shoulds that I can create from

IE

> (you should only eat sitting down, you should only eat when physically

> hungry, you should never eat for emotional reasons, etc.) and the ENORMOUS

> SHOULD I've lived under since I was a child with a weight obsessed mother:

you

> should always feel terrible about your body and always want to be thinner no

> matter what you weigh...(breathe here, April!)...the more adult and

> integrated I feel, like I'm actually making my own choices instead of acting

out

> of rebellion.

> Thanks again!

> April

>

>

> In a message dated 1/13/2011 12:02:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> pam@... writes:

>

>

>

> Hello April,

>

> Not sure what has been posted, so sorry if I repeat anything already

> mentioned.

>

> When people approached IE, like with all things they can do it with a near

> religious zeal. Which is good in terms of embracing & doing, yet blinkers.

> IE is as you have realised not about simply eating when your hungry,

> honouring hunger etc, but also about respecting where you are in the given

> moment. It is a mindful, honest practice at its heart. Your current needs are

> paramount, so if you need to emotionally eat - then do so. Learn from those

> episodes, in time they do lessen.

>

> Giving yourself permission to eat for comfort can be very empowering, to

> say 'yeah it may be rubbish food, but it fills me with love, so I am going

> to eat as much as I want of it' can set you free. Acceptance, indulging &

> eating out of love for the self rather than out of hatred is a major step.

>

> Pam

>

[Guest guest]

YES!!!! let's get rid of all the shoulds, they are not serving us any longer.

thank you.

mj

>

> Hi, Pam.

> This is wonderful support, in your delightfully Brit way! Thank you!

> I am finding that the more I make satisfaction my goal and refused to

> be pushed around by any

> " shoulds " - and not just the diet shoulds (you should eat less, you

> shouldn't eat this or that food) but also the shoulds that I can create from

IE

> (you should only eat sitting down, you should only eat when physically

> hungry, you should never eat for emotional reasons, etc.) and the ENORMOUS

> SHOULD I've lived under since I was a child with a weight obsessed mother:

you

> should always feel terrible about your body and always want to be thinner no

> matter what you weigh...(breathe here, April!)...the more adult and

> integrated I feel, like I'm actually making my own choices instead of acting

out

> of rebellion.

> Thanks again!

> April

>

>

> In a message dated 1/13/2011 12:02:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> pam@... writes:

>

>

>

> Hello April,

>

> Not sure what has been posted, so sorry if I repeat anything already

> mentioned.

>

> When people approached IE, like with all things they can do it with a near

> religious zeal. Which is good in terms of embracing & doing, yet blinkers.

> IE is as you have realised not about simply eating when your hungry,

> honouring hunger etc, but also about respecting where you are in the given

> moment. It is a mindful, honest practice at its heart. Your current needs are

> paramount, so if you need to emotionally eat - then do so. Learn from those

> episodes, in time they do lessen.

>

> Giving yourself permission to eat for comfort can be very empowering, to

> say 'yeah it may be rubbish food, but it fills me with love, so I am going

> to eat as much as I want of it' can set you free. Acceptance, indulging &

> eating out of love for the self rather than out of hatred is a major step.

>

> Pam

>

[Guest guest]

YES!!!! let's get rid of all the shoulds, they are not serving us any longer.

thank you.

mj

>

> Hi, Pam.

> This is wonderful support, in your delightfully Brit way! Thank you!

> I am finding that the more I make satisfaction my goal and refused to

> be pushed around by any

> " shoulds " - and not just the diet shoulds (you should eat less, you

> shouldn't eat this or that food) but also the shoulds that I can create from

IE

> (you should only eat sitting down, you should only eat when physically

> hungry, you should never eat for emotional reasons, etc.) and the ENORMOUS

> SHOULD I've lived under since I was a child with a weight obsessed mother:

you

> should always feel terrible about your body and always want to be thinner no

> matter what you weigh...(breathe here, April!)...the more adult and

> integrated I feel, like I'm actually making my own choices instead of acting

out

> of rebellion.

> Thanks again!

> April

>

>

> In a message dated 1/13/2011 12:02:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> pam@... writes:

>

>

>

> Hello April,

>

> Not sure what has been posted, so sorry if I repeat anything already

> mentioned.

>

> When people approached IE, like with all things they can do it with a near

> religious zeal. Which is good in terms of embracing & doing, yet blinkers.

> IE is as you have realised not about simply eating when your hungry,

> honouring hunger etc, but also about respecting where you are in the given

> moment. It is a mindful, honest practice at its heart. Your current needs are

> paramount, so if you need to emotionally eat - then do so. Learn from those

> episodes, in time they do lessen.

>

> Giving yourself permission to eat for comfort can be very empowering, to

> say 'yeah it may be rubbish food, but it fills me with love, so I am going

> to eat as much as I want of it' can set you free. Acceptance, indulging &

> eating out of love for the self rather than out of hatred is a major step.

>

> Pam

>