why the chicken crossed the road

[Guest guest]

Lynda !

That is so funny ! I actually could visualize

everyone of those as they answered !

Hugs

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[Guest guest]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a

change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he

recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the

chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: In what respect, Charley? Charley, Congress had allocated

money to the other side of the road and Charley, I said, " Thanks, but no

thanks. " Charley, don't point out that I was for the bridge in 2006 and

then I was against it. That is sexist. Or do you mean Charley, our

proximity to the other side of the road. You can actually see the other

side of the road from land here, Charley. That why I'm an expert on the

other side of the road, Charley.

JOE BIDEN: The chicken went to the other side of the road because...

(Continued on pages 2-30.)

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little

chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified

to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the

chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about

me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.

The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground

here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the

satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your

definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now

against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the

chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black

chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize

that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before

it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to

do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his

current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is

why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken

learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm

going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the

road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but

we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the

road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can

see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was

going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs

when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any

insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been

told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain.......... alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the

plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends,

that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay,

too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination

that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like

the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as

plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be

listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming

story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to

accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads

together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only

cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and

balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of

eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never

crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road

move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?