Re: My doctor says I need to Diet!

[Guest guest]

I used to put a lot of trust in doctors, now I take what they say with a grain

of salt based on a past experience.

Almost two years ago, a medical issue that I had been dealing with for a long

time finally had to be dealt with. Because of my age, the conventional course

of treatment was a hysterectomy, which I was dead set against. I'd done a fair

amount of research on my own and knew there were other treatments, but my OBGYN

gave me all kinds of reasons for why none of those were appropriate and were

probably, in fact, dangerous. I couldn't believe that was true, so I started

getting consults. Two more doctors, including one I found who was supposedly an

" expert " (an experienced professor, researcher, and a published author on the

topic) gave me every horror story in the book for why anything other than a

hysterectomy was doomed to failure and every other kind of debilitating and

nasty side effect imaginable including a lengthy (eight week) and excruciatingly

painful recovery from surgery and a probably recurrence of the condition shortly

thereafter. I was despondent and almost ready to give in and just have the

hysterectomy against every voice in my head that screamed not to do it, when

(with the encouragement of some awesome women on another message board) I found

another specialist and figured I'd have one last consult with another doctor who

was also an expert that only worked on women with this condition. I was

hopeful, but after everything else I had heard, was preparing myself for the

worst.

On the day of my consult, the doctor had already reviewed my medical records,

which I had sent in advance, and she sat down and asked me why I was there. And

I got my courage up and was prepared to argue with her to the death and said I'd

had three consults and everyone kept telling me that hysterectomy was my only

option, but I didn't want one and I didn't understand why I should have to. She

just looked at me and said " I've reviewed your file and there's no reason on

earth why you should have to have a hysterectomy. I'd tell you if it was

necessary, but I don't see anything here that tells me it is. " I was so

relieved that I almost burst into tears on the spot. Six weeks later, this

woman performed the surgery I wanted and it went off without a hitch. I was out

of the hospital in two days and walking (VERY slowly! LOL) to the Starbucks in

my neighborhood for coffee two days after that. I didn't even take painkillers

for more than a week after I returned home. My recovery was mind bogglingly

easy and within three weeks I felt as good as new and I've had absolutely no

problems since.

So, that's a long story, but there is a point! LOL What that taught me is that

I HAVE to follow my own instincts about what's right for my body. A lot of

people who supposedly knew what they were talking about gave me advice that they

thought was appropriate for me, but I knew in my heart, that it wasn't. I don't

think I ever could have lived with myself if I had given in to what I knew was

wrong for my body. At a minimum, I knew I had to exhaust every option before I

submitted. I don't think any of the other doctors were necessarily bad, but I

did learn that there are HUGE differences between doctors' knowledge and skill

levels and many just aren't up to speed on the latest research and studies.

They learn one thing in medical school and stick with it because it's easy and

it's what they know or maybe because they have their own biases about what is

appropriate. Whatever the case may be, it's SO important for us to do our own

homework and trust our own instincts about what is right for us. I'll never

just blindly follow a doctor's advice again.

As a final aside, since that time, I've found an AMAZING doctor that I love to

pieces. During my first appointment with her, I talked about wanting to lose

weight and the first thing she said to me was that she doesn't believe in

dieting and I should not eliminate any foods from my diet but just work on

trying to eat more healthy foods (something I wanted to do, anyway) and getting

out and walking a bit at lunch time. And that if I was going to lose weight,

she thought it should be VERY slowly, no less than three years! (I'm about 70

pounds over the top of the weight range for my height). This year when I had my

annual check up, I had just started working with my therapist on IE and I told

my doctor about it and she was SO enthusiastic and said that was an excellent

step to take and she fully supported IE. (Did I mention that I LOOOOOVE my

doctor?? LOL)

Sorry if that was a long ramble. It was just an amazingly eye opening

experience for me and really reinforced for me that we have to do what is right

for us and find the RIGHT doctor that will support us in that effort.

Josie

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only

> because I crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel

> like I'm finally an intuitive eater. I've also been working out and

> feeling good and have learned to be more mindful and present and deal

> with my emotions productively and not through food. This has been HUGE

> progress for me and I feel more grounded than ever!

> >

> > However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and

> acknowledges that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is

> concerned about my (very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing

> weight. She wants me to go on a limited calorie diet and start counting

> calories. She says I don't need to do anything drastic or deprive

> myself, but just gently keep track of what I eat (write things down in

> non-judgmental way) and make some substitutions to get my daily calories

> in the right range to create a deficit and lose some weight gradually.

> She said that I should keep listening to my body and eating when hunger

> and full, etc... but just try to stay in the range.

> >

> > It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into

> the diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so

> long to get to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want

> to go back there. My doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready

> for this, but I guess I don't trust myself as much. I think I could do

> it if I remembered to be present, continue to accept my body, be gentle,

> and do these things to take care of my health, not to put pressure on

> myself to be thin.

> >

> > Any thoughts, advice?

> >

> > Thanks so much!

> > M.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

thanks for sharing your experience with doctors. I too have had bad experiences

with doctors and feel some of my medical problems are as a result of treatments

I have had from Doctors. I have a medical problem now which may be serious but

I am afraid to go to a doctor and have it checked out.

[Guest guest]

thanks for sharing your experience with doctors. I too have had bad experiences

with doctors and feel some of my medical problems are as a result of treatments

I have had from Doctors. I have a medical problem now which may be serious but

I am afraid to go to a doctor and have it checked out.

[Guest guest]

Dear C and Josie,

I was so touched by these stories. Thank you for offering them.

I grew up in an era where we thought doctors were gods and knew everything. Of course you do what they say! Which is why I started dieting at 9 and took the diet pills they prescribed when I was 13. I wasn't overweight but my father was, and my mother was obsessed with thinness. And the doctors were happy to agree that I should be watched like a hawk to make sure I ate nothing fattening. This is a tyranny I took on for myself, so that there was never a mouthful of food that wasn't either on a diet or breaking one. The freedom I have managed to get from IE has made me cry with relief.

April

Josie- your post about your experience with doctors was amazing and I felt sadness with my own experience with doctors. I really admire and respect your perseverance in listening to your body. I know I have and am working in therapy (among other things!) around my issues with doctors. I had a kidney transplant when I was 12 and I have had so many harsh experiences with doctors that have lead me to feel powerless, ashamed, unable to trust my body, and stuck with having to rely on them. This isn't to say every experience has been terrible and I am honestly grateful for those who have helped me live healthfully this long, but from a young age any and all decisions about what to do with my body were not up to me-and if it weren't for my parents, the doctors weren't even that interested in telling me what they planned next! I say all this because I am in my thirties and am now just allowing myself to trust my body. It's scary. I remember in my early twenties I had gained 40 pounds, after losing 70, and felt ashamed. Then a curious thing happened, I thought, what if I was just alright at this weight... what if I exercised because I enjoy it and not focused on losing weight. I spent a summer toying with this idea. Then I went to the transplant clinic for a check-up and they told me that my blood pressure was high (which it always is at this clinic) and that I had three months to lose some weight or they'd put me on medication. I have always resented being put on medication if I feel it is unnecessary because my blood pressure is only high when I see my specialist... not at PCP's, not at supermarket blood pressure cuffs, not with anyone who has their own cuff. Even telling doctors (been a few) this they act as if this is the most ridiculous conspiracy theory they've ever heard! Well, I freaked out, lost the forty pounds in about five months. Of course, I'm not a doctor and I can't offer any medical advice, but for me after losing and gaining more weight through the years, I am 80 pounds more than before I lost the blood pressure weight! IE feels like something I was coming close to realizing many pounds lighter. It's hard to just fire and pick and choose a specialist with the insurance I have and the condition they are monitoring, but now I try to remain an informed consumer and when they recommend the 30-60-90 diet a few years ago (I think this is the name-300 calories a day for 3 days, 600 for 6 and 900 for 9 (I think that's what it was, it was so ridiculous I couldn't do a day... and felt so terrible about it!)), I just have to patiently listen, work through a host of feelings that come up, and try to remind myself that I can trust myself. So, I feel really protective around people (and myself) when they are doing something that feels good, freeing, and healthy (according to drs' tests). I'm sure many mean well and truly believe in what they're doing, and perhaps it works for people, but I can't help but remember my own experience. I know I can't dwell on the past, but I can't help but think that the last 7 years of dieting, weight loss/gain, self-deprivation, restriction, binges, etc. could have been avoided. But, I may not have found IE and I may not have been ready. This just maybe the perfect moment-that's a nicer thought for me to sit with! Anyway, it's been hard figuring IE out, but I am so grateful to be trying it now. ... I think I went all over the place. Thanks for reading and being part of this process everyone!-C

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wed, January 5, 2011 11:04:08 PMSubject: Re: My doctor says I need to "Diet"!

I used to put a lot of trust in doctors, now I take what they say with a grain of salt based on a past experience. Almost two years ago, a medical issue that I had been dealing with for a long time finally had to be dealt with. Because of my age, the conventional course of treatment was a hysterectomy, which I was dead set against. I'd done a fair amount of research on my own and knew there were other treatments, but my OBGYN gave me all kinds of reasons for why none of those were appropriate and were probably, in fact, dangerous. I couldn't believe that was true, so I started getting consults. Two more doctors, including one I found who was supposedly an "expert" (an experienced professor, researcher, and a published author on the topic) gave me every horror story in the book for why anything other than a hysterectomy was doomed to failure and every other kind of debilitating and nasty side effect imaginable including a lengthy (eight week) and excruciatingly painful recovery from surgery and a probably recurrence of the condition shortly thereafter. I was despondent and almost ready to give in and just have the hysterectomy against every voice in my head that screamed not to do it, when (with the encouragement of some awesome women on another message board) I found another specialist and figured I'd have one last consult with another doctor who was also an expert that only worked on women with this condition. I was hopeful, but after everything else I had heard, was preparing myself for the worst.On the day of my consult, the doctor had already reviewed my medical records, which I had sent in advance, and she sat down and asked me why I was there. And I got my courage up and was prepared to argue with her to the death and said I'd had three consults and everyone kept telling me that hysterectomy was my only option, but I didn't want one and I didn't understand why I should have to. She just looked at me and said "I've reviewed your file and there's no reason on earth why you should have to have a hysterectomy. I'd tell you if it was necessary, but I don't see anything here that tells me it is." I was so relieved that I almost burst into tears on the spot. Six weeks later, this woman performed the surgery I wanted and it went off without a hitch. I was out of the hospital in two days and walking (VERY slowly! LOL) to the Starbucks in my neighborhood for coffee two days after that. I didn't even take painkillers for more than a week after I returned home. My recovery was mind bogglingly easy and within three weeks I felt as good as new and I've had absolutely no problems since. So, that's a long story, but there is a point! LOL What that taught me is that I HAVE to follow my own instincts about what's right for my body. A lot of people who supposedly knew what they were talking about gave me advice that they thought was appropriate for me, but I knew in my heart, that it wasn't. I don't think I ever could have lived with myself if I had given in to what I knew was wrong for my body. At a minimum, I knew I had to exhaust every option before I submitted. I don't think any of the other doctors were necessarily bad, but I did learn that there are HUGE differences between doctors' knowledge and skill levels and many just aren't up to speed on the latest research and studies. They learn one thing in medical school and stick with it because it's easy and it's what they know or maybe because they have their own biases about what is appropriate. Whatever the case may be, it's SO important for us to do our own homework and trust our own instincts about what is right for us. I'll never just blindly follow a doctor's advice again.As a final aside, since that time, I've found an AMAZING doctor that I love to pieces. During my first appointment with her, I talked about wanting to lose weight and the first thing she said to me was that she doesn't believe in dieting and I should not eliminate any foods from my diet but just work on trying to eat more healthy foods (something I wanted to do, anyway) and getting out and walking a bit at lunch time. And that if I was going to lose weight, she thought it should be VERY slowly, no less than three years! (I'm about 70 pounds over the top of the weight range for my height). This year when I had my annual check up, I had just started working with my therapist on IE and I told my doctor about it and she was SO enthusiastic and said that was an excellent step to take and she fully supported IE. (Did I mention that I LOOOOOVE my doctor?? LOL)Sorry if that was a long ramble. It was just an amazingly eye opening experience for me and really reinforced for me that we have to do what is right for us and find the RIGHT doctor that will support us in that effort.Josie > >> > Hi all,> >> > I could really use your advice. I've been eating healthy (only> because I crave healthy stuff now!) and listening to my body. I feel> like I'm finally an intuitive eater. I've also been working out and> feeling good and have learned to be more mindful and present and deal> with my emotions productively and not through food. This has been HUGE> progress for me and I feel more grounded than ever!> >> > However, I saw my doctor today and while she supports IE and> acknowledges that I'm doing a good job at maintaining my weight, she is> concerned about my (very) high body fat % and that I'm not losing> weight. She wants me to go on a limited calorie diet and start counting> calories. She says I don't need to do anything drastic or deprive> myself, but just gently keep track of what I eat (write things down in> non-judgmental way) and make some substitutions to get my daily calories> in the right range to create a deficit and lose some weight gradually. > She said that I should keep listening to my body and eating when hunger> and full, etc... but just try to stay in the range.> >> > It sounds reasonable, but I'm worried that I may get sucked back into> the diet mentality and start obsessing about my weight. It took me so> long to get to where I am and feel free from food... I just don't want> to go back there. My doctor seems to believe in me and thinks I'm ready> for this, but I guess I don't trust myself as much. I think I could do> it if I remembered to be present, continue to accept my body, be gentle,> and do these things to take care of my health, not to put pressure on> myself to be thin.> >> > Any thoughts, advice?> >> > Thanks so much!> > M.> >>