Re: Really Tired of the Slams

[Guest guest]

Don't bother. You won't get out of it what you want.

She'll ignore it or get angry. She won't acknowledge the truth of it.

And that's only if you catch the subtlety in the moment, you know? What if you

start interacting with her more just so you can " catch " her at it and tell her,

but you don't realize the subtlety til later? Then you're stuck having been

around the toxicity with nothing to show for it. Not even a little satisfying

vengeance.

Nah, NC is so much better.

Both my cents,

Tina

>

>

> If I ever do have contact with my nada again in a situation where I am free to

leave if I want to I intend to " call " nada or point it out clearly each time she

slings some kind of passive-aggressive, indirect insult at me. She's really

good at it, too.

>

> -Annie

[Guest guest]

You're right. In my case, I discovered the only thing that really penetrates my

nada's bpd brain, gets her attention and makes her stop being

passive-aggressively toxic to me (for a while, anyway) is sarcasm, but when I

use sarcasm on her then *I* feel mean and hateful. And I don't want to be mean

and hateful like she is. That's important to me. So, you're right. No Contact

is a better option.

-Annie

>

> Don't bother. You won't get out of it what you want.

>

> She'll ignore it or get angry. She won't acknowledge the truth of it.

>

> And that's only if you catch the subtlety in the moment, you know? What if you

start interacting with her more just so you can " catch " her at it and tell her,

but you don't realize the subtlety til later? Then you're stuck having been

around the toxicity with nothing to show for it. Not even a little satisfying

vengeance.

>

> Nah, NC is so much better.

>

> Both my cents,

> Tina

[Guest guest]

You're right. In my case, I discovered the only thing that really penetrates my

nada's bpd brain, gets her attention and makes her stop being

passive-aggressively toxic to me (for a while, anyway) is sarcasm, but when I

use sarcasm on her then *I* feel mean and hateful. And I don't want to be mean

and hateful like she is. That's important to me. So, you're right. No Contact

is a better option.

-Annie

>

> Don't bother. You won't get out of it what you want.

>

> She'll ignore it or get angry. She won't acknowledge the truth of it.

>

> And that's only if you catch the subtlety in the moment, you know? What if you

start interacting with her more just so you can " catch " her at it and tell her,

but you don't realize the subtlety til later? Then you're stuck having been

around the toxicity with nothing to show for it. Not even a little satisfying

vengeance.

>

> Nah, NC is so much better.

>

> Both my cents,

> Tina

[Guest guest]

You're right. In my case, I discovered the only thing that really penetrates my

nada's bpd brain, gets her attention and makes her stop being

passive-aggressively toxic to me (for a while, anyway) is sarcasm, but when I

use sarcasm on her then *I* feel mean and hateful. And I don't want to be mean

and hateful like she is. That's important to me. So, you're right. No Contact

is a better option.

-Annie

>

> Don't bother. You won't get out of it what you want.

>

> She'll ignore it or get angry. She won't acknowledge the truth of it.

>

> And that's only if you catch the subtlety in the moment, you know? What if you

start interacting with her more just so you can " catch " her at it and tell her,

but you don't realize the subtlety til later? Then you're stuck having been

around the toxicity with nothing to show for it. Not even a little satisfying

vengeance.

>

> Nah, NC is so much better.

>

> Both my cents,

> Tina