Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I rescued my cats from nada's friend, apparently she got a whole lot more responsible without me around to fall into that baby role. Somehow she got along well with her church friends so I wonder who was the person she beat on emotinoally after I was gone or if my leaving her finally forced her into gettng help. More later proflaf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I agree to a certain extent, she's deceased now so she's not going to do anymore harm. I'm just commenting because as irresponsible as she was when I left her she coudln't figure out whose shots were whose and blamed everyone else under the sun for her problems. She also managed to get a will together and arrange things so that I could get out of taking care of her remains when she died. (IN law is the next of kin is responsible unless they sign the responsibility to someone else). Those are big things for someone who couldn't keep track of her animal shot records or appointments to do by herself like a big girl. I guess it's how I choose to think of it, whether it was another vaccum stunt or if she did genuinely did change, at any rate my counselor and I agreed that the separation was good for both of us, forced her to grow up and depend on others and herself instead of me and to allow me to have the life I wanted. proflaf > > > I rescued my cats from nada's friend, apparently she got a whole lot more > responsible without me around to fall into that baby role. Somehow she got > along well with her church friends so I wonder who was the person she beat > on emotinoally after I was gone or if my leaving her finally forced her into > gettng help. > More later > proflaf > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 I agree to a certain extent, she's deceased now so she's not going to do anymore harm. I'm just commenting because as irresponsible as she was when I left her she coudln't figure out whose shots were whose and blamed everyone else under the sun for her problems. She also managed to get a will together and arrange things so that I could get out of taking care of her remains when she died. (IN law is the next of kin is responsible unless they sign the responsibility to someone else). Those are big things for someone who couldn't keep track of her animal shot records or appointments to do by herself like a big girl. I guess it's how I choose to think of it, whether it was another vaccum stunt or if she did genuinely did change, at any rate my counselor and I agreed that the separation was good for both of us, forced her to grow up and depend on others and herself instead of me and to allow me to have the life I wanted. proflaf > > > I rescued my cats from nada's friend, apparently she got a whole lot more > responsible without me around to fall into that baby role. Somehow she got > along well with her church friends so I wonder who was the person she beat > on emotinoally after I was gone or if my leaving her finally forced her into > gettng help. > More later > proflaf > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 it's eerie, isn't it, how sometimes they find the big girl/boy britches when we are not around. it's times like that I realize that they really have 'parentified' the relationship with me, and without me, the more adult version comes out. it's so incestuous that I can't have a parent because my parent needs me to be the parent so they can be the child. I am glad you got the animals, i was worried about that, thanks for rescuing ones who truly need it. I am in agreement with your therapist and admire you for honoring yourself and your need for separation. It's like their parental relationship was so toxic and is so unresolved that the only way they can survive is to project it onto a child of their own and let them carry it and just about destroy that child's life in the process. Sigh...I am glad that you are able to move on from that chapter in your life with peace and let things rest now. Hugs. > > > > > > > I rescued my cats from nada's friend, apparently she got a whole lot more > > responsible without me around to fall into that baby role. Somehow she got > > along well with her church friends so I wonder who was the person she beat > > on emotinoally after I was gone or if my leaving her finally forced her into > > gettng help. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 it's eerie, isn't it, how sometimes they find the big girl/boy britches when we are not around. it's times like that I realize that they really have 'parentified' the relationship with me, and without me, the more adult version comes out. it's so incestuous that I can't have a parent because my parent needs me to be the parent so they can be the child. I am glad you got the animals, i was worried about that, thanks for rescuing ones who truly need it. I am in agreement with your therapist and admire you for honoring yourself and your need for separation. It's like their parental relationship was so toxic and is so unresolved that the only way they can survive is to project it onto a child of their own and let them carry it and just about destroy that child's life in the process. Sigh...I am glad that you are able to move on from that chapter in your life with peace and let things rest now. Hugs. > > > > > > > I rescued my cats from nada's friend, apparently she got a whole lot more > > responsible without me around to fall into that baby role. Somehow she got > > along well with her church friends so I wonder who was the person she beat > > on emotinoally after I was gone or if my leaving her finally forced her into > > gettng help. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 it's eerie, isn't it, how sometimes they find the big girl/boy britches when we are not around. it's times like that I realize that they really have 'parentified' the relationship with me, and without me, the more adult version comes out. it's so incestuous that I can't have a parent because my parent needs me to be the parent so they can be the child. I am glad you got the animals, i was worried about that, thanks for rescuing ones who truly need it. I am in agreement with your therapist and admire you for honoring yourself and your need for separation. It's like their parental relationship was so toxic and is so unresolved that the only way they can survive is to project it onto a child of their own and let them carry it and just about destroy that child's life in the process. Sigh...I am glad that you are able to move on from that chapter in your life with peace and let things rest now. Hugs. > > > > > > > I rescued my cats from nada's friend, apparently she got a whole lot more > > responsible without me around to fall into that baby role. Somehow she got > > along well with her church friends so I wonder who was the person she beat > > on emotinoally after I was gone or if my leaving her finally forced her into > > gettng help. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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