Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 So... SHE has been NC for the last week, since the recent email dispute where she told me we'd " play nice until my wedding " . I'm concerned now, since they'd arranged to stay in our guest room (she emailed me twice and called 3 times to tell me it was that, or they were going to sleep in the van at the KOA for the duration of the trip, along with telling me to arrange her a hairstylist at the event because she'll need it). It's emotionally stressing to think that my home will be filled with the crazies the week of the wedding. I'm not sure how to deal with it, if there will be a confrontation, hell, I'm not even sure she's coming. I'm really concerned about her going off or saying something off color in front of Fiancé's family (and I'm semi-concerned that his mom will end up giving her the verbal smackdown she deserves). I know she's only coming to keep up appearances of being the " good mother " . Any advice on handling that prolonged exposure? I'm hoping I'll be busy enough that I can avoid her for most of their visit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 If your nada and dad do show up to stay at your house, you can always decide to just relocate yourself to a nearby hotel or motel for the duration, leaving your parents and whoever else to stay in your house/guest room. You don't need to get their permission or their agreement to do that. You just say, " I need alone time in the evenings to de-stress from all these preparations; this is for me. I want you to make yourselves at home at my house, and I'll see you during the day. Lets have brunch tomorrow (etc.) " Its OK to be assertive. Being assertive is just saying what you need and what you've decided to do, its not being mean or toxic or destructive or selfish. Its simply being an adult. -Annie > > So... SHE has been NC for the last week, since the recent email dispute where she told me we'd " play nice until my wedding " . I'm concerned now, since they'd arranged to stay in our guest room (she emailed me twice and called 3 times to tell me it was that, or they were going to sleep in the van at the KOA for the duration of the trip, along with telling me to arrange her a hairstylist at the event because she'll need it). > > It's emotionally stressing to think that my home will be filled with the crazies the week of the wedding. I'm not sure how to deal with it, if there will be a confrontation, hell, I'm not even sure she's coming. I'm really concerned about her going off or saying something off color in front of Fiancé's family (and I'm semi-concerned that his mom will end up giving her the verbal smackdown she deserves). I know she's only coming to keep up appearances of being the " good mother " . > > Any advice on handling that prolonged exposure? I'm hoping I'll be busy enough that I can avoid her for most of their visit... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 If your nada and dad do show up to stay at your house, you can always decide to just relocate yourself to a nearby hotel or motel for the duration, leaving your parents and whoever else to stay in your house/guest room. You don't need to get their permission or their agreement to do that. You just say, " I need alone time in the evenings to de-stress from all these preparations; this is for me. I want you to make yourselves at home at my house, and I'll see you during the day. Lets have brunch tomorrow (etc.) " Its OK to be assertive. Being assertive is just saying what you need and what you've decided to do, its not being mean or toxic or destructive or selfish. Its simply being an adult. -Annie > > So... SHE has been NC for the last week, since the recent email dispute where she told me we'd " play nice until my wedding " . I'm concerned now, since they'd arranged to stay in our guest room (she emailed me twice and called 3 times to tell me it was that, or they were going to sleep in the van at the KOA for the duration of the trip, along with telling me to arrange her a hairstylist at the event because she'll need it). > > It's emotionally stressing to think that my home will be filled with the crazies the week of the wedding. I'm not sure how to deal with it, if there will be a confrontation, hell, I'm not even sure she's coming. I'm really concerned about her going off or saying something off color in front of Fiancé's family (and I'm semi-concerned that his mom will end up giving her the verbal smackdown she deserves). I know she's only coming to keep up appearances of being the " good mother " . > > Any advice on handling that prolonged exposure? I'm hoping I'll be busy enough that I can avoid her for most of their visit... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 If your nada and dad do show up to stay at your house, you can always decide to just relocate yourself to a nearby hotel or motel for the duration, leaving your parents and whoever else to stay in your house/guest room. You don't need to get their permission or their agreement to do that. You just say, " I need alone time in the evenings to de-stress from all these preparations; this is for me. I want you to make yourselves at home at my house, and I'll see you during the day. Lets have brunch tomorrow (etc.) " Its OK to be assertive. Being assertive is just saying what you need and what you've decided to do, its not being mean or toxic or destructive or selfish. Its simply being an adult. -Annie > > So... SHE has been NC for the last week, since the recent email dispute where she told me we'd " play nice until my wedding " . I'm concerned now, since they'd arranged to stay in our guest room (she emailed me twice and called 3 times to tell me it was that, or they were going to sleep in the van at the KOA for the duration of the trip, along with telling me to arrange her a hairstylist at the event because she'll need it). > > It's emotionally stressing to think that my home will be filled with the crazies the week of the wedding. I'm not sure how to deal with it, if there will be a confrontation, hell, I'm not even sure she's coming. I'm really concerned about her going off or saying something off color in front of Fiancé's family (and I'm semi-concerned that his mom will end up giving her the verbal smackdown she deserves). I know she's only coming to keep up appearances of being the " good mother " . > > Any advice on handling that prolonged exposure? I'm hoping I'll be busy enough that I can avoid her for most of their visit... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 That's a really great idea - staying elsewhere. I wonder if I can get my night-of stay extended a night or two. > > > > So... SHE has been NC for the last week, since the recent email dispute where she told me we'd " play nice until my wedding " . I'm concerned now, since they'd arranged to stay in our guest room (she emailed me twice and called 3 times to tell me it was that, or they were going to sleep in the van at the KOA for the duration of the trip, along with telling me to arrange her a hairstylist at the event because she'll need it). > > > > It's emotionally stressing to think that my home will be filled with the crazies the week of the wedding. I'm not sure how to deal with it, if there will be a confrontation, hell, I'm not even sure she's coming. I'm really concerned about her going off or saying something off color in front of Fiancé's family (and I'm semi-concerned that his mom will end up giving her the verbal smackdown she deserves). I know she's only coming to keep up appearances of being the " good mother " . > > > > Any advice on handling that prolonged exposure? I'm hoping I'll be busy enough that I can avoid her for most of their visit... > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 That's a really great idea - staying elsewhere. I wonder if I can get my night-of stay extended a night or two. > > > > So... SHE has been NC for the last week, since the recent email dispute where she told me we'd " play nice until my wedding " . I'm concerned now, since they'd arranged to stay in our guest room (she emailed me twice and called 3 times to tell me it was that, or they were going to sleep in the van at the KOA for the duration of the trip, along with telling me to arrange her a hairstylist at the event because she'll need it). > > > > It's emotionally stressing to think that my home will be filled with the crazies the week of the wedding. I'm not sure how to deal with it, if there will be a confrontation, hell, I'm not even sure she's coming. I'm really concerned about her going off or saying something off color in front of Fiancé's family (and I'm semi-concerned that his mom will end up giving her the verbal smackdown she deserves). I know she's only coming to keep up appearances of being the " good mother " . > > > > Any advice on handling that prolonged exposure? I'm hoping I'll be busy enough that I can avoid her for most of their visit... > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2010 Report Share Posted August 18, 2010 That's a really great idea - staying elsewhere. I wonder if I can get my night-of stay extended a night or two. > > > > So... SHE has been NC for the last week, since the recent email dispute where she told me we'd " play nice until my wedding " . I'm concerned now, since they'd arranged to stay in our guest room (she emailed me twice and called 3 times to tell me it was that, or they were going to sleep in the van at the KOA for the duration of the trip, along with telling me to arrange her a hairstylist at the event because she'll need it). > > > > It's emotionally stressing to think that my home will be filled with the crazies the week of the wedding. I'm not sure how to deal with it, if there will be a confrontation, hell, I'm not even sure she's coming. I'm really concerned about her going off or saying something off color in front of Fiancé's family (and I'm semi-concerned that his mom will end up giving her the verbal smackdown she deserves). I know she's only coming to keep up appearances of being the " good mother " . > > > > Any advice on handling that prolonged exposure? I'm hoping I'll be busy enough that I can avoid her for most of their visit... > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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