Tide Endorsement

[Guest guest]

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!

I've used it all of my married life,

as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties

I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago,

I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My inconsiderate and uncaring husband continued

to belittle me about my weight gain and how clumsy

I was becoming.

I started becoming a pain in the neck with my

panic attacks, joint pain, brainfog, and confusion

One thing led to another and somehow

I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative,

to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came

by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were

negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no

longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is

bad enough without being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.