somewhat of a summary

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Hi Everyone!

Welcome to all of our new members! For those of you that don't know who I am, I'm Gillian and I am the owner (or "list-mom" as they say) of this group. This is an awesome place to be! Don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions, concerns, or comments about the group.

I haven't been able to post here much due to my crazy schedule but there have been some great discussions and wonderfully supportive people helping each other out. Thank you for that!

I just came across an inquiry from a reporter asking about the signs of emotional overeating as well as how to overcome it. I wrote her a very lengthy response which I hope she finds useful. I wanted to make sure IE was represented in her story because she will very likely get answers like, "eat on a smaller plate", "only eat at the table", and "exercise everyday". You guys know what I'm talking about. So since I took the time to do that I thought I would share it here as well for the benefit of members new to IE as well as anyone needing a refresher. Keep in mind, my response was not based on the IE book, although I believe in the book, but I've developed my own customized approach and belief system, so it may look different than the 10 Principles of IE, but it's still an IE approach.

Just a warning, it's long and a bit rambling, that's what I do! Here it is:

Her questions were: What are the signs of emotional eating? In what ways can a person overcome emotional eating?

My response:

I'm responding to your query about counseling emotional eaters. I am a coach that specializes in this area, and I teach my clients to overcome emotional overeating by adopting a non-diet mentality which is sometimes known as Intuitive Eating (based on the popular book by Elyse Resch and Tribole). I have an MS in Exercise Physiology and I am also ACSM (American College of Sports Medicine) certified. I got my start as a personal trainer helping people overcome the lack of motivation to exercise, which had been a big issue for me earlier on in life. But even as a trainer, I battled emotional overeating. I went on endless diets, thereby instilling the diet mentality as well and my weight just went up and down.Through a coach organization, I met a dietician that helped me learn to eat based on hunger and fullness and how to deal with my emotions in other ways than eating. After adopting this and changing my life completely, I decided to become a coach in the intuitive eating or non-diet area and have been since 2004. I work from home and get to work with clients all over the world, it's amazing.

To answer your questions: Many of the signs of emotional eating are actually hidden. The person is deeply ashamed of their behavior and doesn't want anyone to know. Often they think they are the only one with this problem. While there may be other explanations, here are some of the more common signs: closet eating (eating when no one is around), sneak eating (hording food to eat later in private), wanting to eat something directly after an emotional situation such as an argument or other triggers, along the same lines as closet eating is many candy and food wrappers in the car, ongoing weight fluctuations, persistent obsessive thoughts about food, upcoming meals, body image, weight gain, and dieting, and self-imposed isolation. Many people tend to crave simple or complex carbs, like candy, bread, pasta, etc. This can be triggered by the level of serotonin in the brain, or the body's reaction to cortisol, especially during stress. But often people will say they are "addicted" to sugar. I don't believe this is true, I think it's a natural reaction to prolonged stress or other negative emotions, it is affected by body chemistry.

Another thing that often goes along with emotional eating is the diet mentality. With every diet there is some kind of restriction. This restriction leads to deprivation and it's natural to rebel against this, which is usually overeating those things you can't have on a diet. Dieting also leads to feelings of guilt or shame for being "bad", which has a dramatic negative impact of self-esteem. The person will determine her worth based on her weight and is motivated to lose weight with diet and exercise because of her weight. Exercise becomes punishment for being bad. Also very prevalent in the diet mentality is black and white thinking, or "all-or-nothing" thinking. For example, the food is either good or bad; you should exercise for 60 minutes or nothing at all; there are no grey areas.

The non-diet approach is based on eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. These are natural signals our body gives us, but many people learned not to trust these signals as children. Mothers wanted them to clean their plate before getting dessert, or there were starving children in China. They were also told they couldn't possibly be hungry because they just ate. And of course school and parent's schedules created defined times you were supposed to eat. One common cause of emotional eating is created in childhood when food is equated with comfort (have a cookie, you'll feel better) or being good (behave and we'll go to Mc's). We learn that food is love. Emotional eaters with these experiences will turn to food, often specific foods for comfort.

There are many things involved in overcoming emotional overeating. To do it, it's really important to be in the mindset that you are done with diets and you understand why they don't work. The you want to become aware of what you are doing. It's easy to slip into unconsciousness and not realize how much you are eating until you are sick. Simply noticing your behavior can stop some of the overeating. You also want to become aware of your body's hunger and fullness signals, which does take time and practice. As you become in touch with your body, you learn it feels good to eat when hungry and to stop before overeating.

While you are learning these basics, you will also become more aware of when you are eating emotionally. If you are eating when you aren't hungry, it's usually due to something like boredom or habit, or it's because of wanting to avoid some emotion. Learning to sit through the emotion is difficult but really helpful because you will see that allowing this time to actually feel will help the emotion lessen in intensity. You also want to learn what emotion you are experiencing. Many people don't know what the emotions are because they always respond with food and "stuff down" the emotion. So identifying the emotion and then asking yourself what it is you really need that food is replacing. Emotional eating often comes from not getting your needs met. You need to learn what you need and get it, whether that means taking time for yourself, getting more sleep, or asking someone else to meet the need for you, depending on the need.

I have an eight-point approach to overcoming emotional overeating. When I work with clients it is always a customized approach, but we will explore and work on many or all of these eight points. 1. Set your foundation (increase awareness, understand why you are overeating, determine your reasons for wanting to overcome this), 2. Put an end to the Diet Mentality, 3. Learn the basics of the non-diet approach (learn hunger and fullness, identify eating patterns, understand how much your body wants and what it wants, 4. Overcome negative self-talk (listen for the self-talk, create new thoughts), 5. Overcome emotional overeating (while all points do this, in this section we start to really look at specific examples and identifying emotions, 6. Get your needs met (how do I feel, what do I need?), 7. Increase self-esteem (self-acceptance now, regardless of your weight) and 8. Self-care (again, all of the above are part of self-care, but here we take time to find out what the person would really like to do now that there is more free time because she isn't obsessing and planning her next diet all the time).

The bottom line in overcoming emotional overeating is to stop the external focus on body size, weight, comparison with others, etc., and turn your focus inwards. Listen to hunger and fullness, enjoy the foods you love and do not deprive yourself, honor your emotions and make sure you get your needs met, and make yourself a priority and learn self-care. Not only will this change your relationship with food, with others, and with yourself, but your body will also return to its natural weight which means those who have weight to lose will eventually do so (that's "natural weight", not "ideal weight").

While one may have the impression that this approach ignores nutrition and/or exercise, it doesn't at all. It's just that it isn't addressed until the emotional stuff has been resolved. Exercise and nutrition feel like "rules" and punishment to many people that have been on the diet roller coaster for a long time. Plus, they know what to do, the problem is they aren't able to do it or stick with it and the reasons why must be addressed first.

Thanks!GillianGillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

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