Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 I found this article on BPD: http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love her children enough to protect them from her own problems. It's that last one that really bothers me most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 Admitting that you have a problem and need treatment requires being able to understand that you have a problem. I don't think they can do that. I think that most of them really believe that there's nothing wrong with them. That's part of what BPD is. As far as I can tell, my nada really and truly believes there is nothing wrong with her and that other people have all sorts of things wrong with them that explain why she has trouble getting along with them. I don't think she's acting when she says these things. She's too consistent. In general, they're very good at believing things that aren't true because they just don't experience the world in the same way we do and their brains seem good at re-writing their experiences to fit their own version of reality. Nada has repeatedly told me that the explanation for my sister going NC must be that my sister is bipolar, which she is certainly not. No matter how many times I explain the real reasons to her, she can't seem to keep them in her head for longer than a day or two. Her false version of events just creeps right back in. As for not loving their children their children enough to protect them from their own problems I think there are two issues there. I don't believe they're capable of love in the way the rest of us are. Real love requires caring at least as much about someone else as you do about yourself. They just can't do that. The whole concept just doesn't make sense to them. Their level of emotional maturity is so retarded that they're like a very young child who " loves " the people who provide her with the things she needs. Combine that with not believing there's anything wrong with them, and the idea that their children need protecting from them is just not a concept they can understand. All that being said, I think the article goes too far in removing blame from people with BPD. Yes, they're sick and no, they didn't ask to be sick, but they still make their own choices and some of those choices have terrible results for the rest of us. I can't bring myself to believe that they're totally blameless. Besides that, some of them are just plain nasty people and would almost certainly be nasty with or without BPD. BPD just makes it easier for them to act on that nastyness. At 03:49 PM 08/22/2010 Hummingbird1298@... wrote: >I found this article on BPD: >http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > >The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that >people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > >I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to >ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > >If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had >diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get >help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she >wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love >her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > >It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 Admitting that you have a problem and need treatment requires being able to understand that you have a problem. I don't think they can do that. I think that most of them really believe that there's nothing wrong with them. That's part of what BPD is. As far as I can tell, my nada really and truly believes there is nothing wrong with her and that other people have all sorts of things wrong with them that explain why she has trouble getting along with them. I don't think she's acting when she says these things. She's too consistent. In general, they're very good at believing things that aren't true because they just don't experience the world in the same way we do and their brains seem good at re-writing their experiences to fit their own version of reality. Nada has repeatedly told me that the explanation for my sister going NC must be that my sister is bipolar, which she is certainly not. No matter how many times I explain the real reasons to her, she can't seem to keep them in her head for longer than a day or two. Her false version of events just creeps right back in. As for not loving their children their children enough to protect them from their own problems I think there are two issues there. I don't believe they're capable of love in the way the rest of us are. Real love requires caring at least as much about someone else as you do about yourself. They just can't do that. The whole concept just doesn't make sense to them. Their level of emotional maturity is so retarded that they're like a very young child who " loves " the people who provide her with the things she needs. Combine that with not believing there's anything wrong with them, and the idea that their children need protecting from them is just not a concept they can understand. All that being said, I think the article goes too far in removing blame from people with BPD. Yes, they're sick and no, they didn't ask to be sick, but they still make their own choices and some of those choices have terrible results for the rest of us. I can't bring myself to believe that they're totally blameless. Besides that, some of them are just plain nasty people and would almost certainly be nasty with or without BPD. BPD just makes it easier for them to act on that nastyness. At 03:49 PM 08/22/2010 Hummingbird1298@... wrote: >I found this article on BPD: >http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > >The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that >people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > >I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to >ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > >If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had >diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get >help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she >wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love >her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > >It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 Admitting that you have a problem and need treatment requires being able to understand that you have a problem. I don't think they can do that. I think that most of them really believe that there's nothing wrong with them. That's part of what BPD is. As far as I can tell, my nada really and truly believes there is nothing wrong with her and that other people have all sorts of things wrong with them that explain why she has trouble getting along with them. I don't think she's acting when she says these things. She's too consistent. In general, they're very good at believing things that aren't true because they just don't experience the world in the same way we do and their brains seem good at re-writing their experiences to fit their own version of reality. Nada has repeatedly told me that the explanation for my sister going NC must be that my sister is bipolar, which she is certainly not. No matter how many times I explain the real reasons to her, she can't seem to keep them in her head for longer than a day or two. Her false version of events just creeps right back in. As for not loving their children their children enough to protect them from their own problems I think there are two issues there. I don't believe they're capable of love in the way the rest of us are. Real love requires caring at least as much about someone else as you do about yourself. They just can't do that. The whole concept just doesn't make sense to them. Their level of emotional maturity is so retarded that they're like a very young child who " loves " the people who provide her with the things she needs. Combine that with not believing there's anything wrong with them, and the idea that their children need protecting from them is just not a concept they can understand. All that being said, I think the article goes too far in removing blame from people with BPD. Yes, they're sick and no, they didn't ask to be sick, but they still make their own choices and some of those choices have terrible results for the rest of us. I can't bring myself to believe that they're totally blameless. Besides that, some of them are just plain nasty people and would almost certainly be nasty with or without BPD. BPD just makes it easier for them to act on that nastyness. At 03:49 PM 08/22/2010 Hummingbird1298@... wrote: >I found this article on BPD: >http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > >The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that >people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > >I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to >ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > >If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had >diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get >help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she >wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love >her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > >It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 I also think they don't love their children because they lack a core identity. And in my nada's case, she wanted to be mentally ill. She owned it and claimed it. When something came up that she didn't want to deal with, she would play the " mental illness card. " I can't meet that deadline because I'm mentally ill. I can't tell you how many times I heard her say that. And when I would confront her about her issues, she let me know very clearly that she loved her issues, she loved the way she had miswired her brain so that she didn't have to accept responsibility. She loved being sick. She knew she was sick, and sought treatment to generate sympathy from others, not to get well. If a doctor gave her pills or even a diagnosis, she would go back to them. But if they told her she was messed up and needed counseling, she blackened their name, hated them, and never returned. She doctor shopped so she could stay sick. Its' her choice to make. And she has flat out told me many times that she never loved me. And i " m kind of okay with it now. I'm NC and that really helps. Okay, I'll read the article now. > > > Admitting that you have a problem and need treatment requires > being able to understand that you have a problem. I don't think > they can do that. I think that most of them really believe that > there's nothing wrong with them. That's part of what BPD is. As > far as I can tell, my nada really and truly believes there is > nothing wrong with her and that other people have all sorts of > things wrong with them that explain why she has trouble getting > along with them. I don't think she's acting when she says these > things. She's too consistent. In general, they're very good at > believing things that aren't true because they just don't > experience the world in the same way we do and their brains seem > good at re-writing their experiences to fit their own version of > reality. Nada has repeatedly told me that the explanation for my > sister going NC must be that my sister is bipolar, which she is > certainly not. No matter how many times I explain the real > reasons to her, she can't seem to keep them in her head for > longer than a day or two. Her false version of events just > creeps right back in. > > As for not loving their children their children enough to > protect them from their own problems I think there are two > issues there. I don't believe they're capable of love in the way > the rest of us are. Real love requires caring at least as much > about someone else as you do about yourself. They just can't do > that. The whole concept just doesn't make sense to them. Their > level of emotional maturity is so retarded that they're like a > very young child who " loves " the people who provide her with the > things she needs. Combine that with not believing there's > anything wrong with them, and the idea that their children need > protecting from them is just not a concept they can understand. > > All that being said, I think the article goes too far in > removing blame from people with BPD. Yes, they're sick and no, > they didn't ask to be sick, but they still make their own > choices and some of those choices have terrible results for the > rest of us. I can't bring myself to believe that they're totally > blameless. Besides that, some of them are just plain nasty > people and would almost certainly be nasty with or without BPD. > BPD just makes it easier for them to act on that nastyness. > > > At 03:49 PM 08/22/2010 Hummingbird1298@... <Hummingbird1298%40aol.com>wrote: > >I found this article on BPD: > >http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > > >The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that > >people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > > >I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to > >ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > > > >If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had > >diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get > >help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she > >wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love > >her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > > > >It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > > -- > Katrina > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 I also think they don't love their children because they lack a core identity. And in my nada's case, she wanted to be mentally ill. She owned it and claimed it. When something came up that she didn't want to deal with, she would play the " mental illness card. " I can't meet that deadline because I'm mentally ill. I can't tell you how many times I heard her say that. And when I would confront her about her issues, she let me know very clearly that she loved her issues, she loved the way she had miswired her brain so that she didn't have to accept responsibility. She loved being sick. She knew she was sick, and sought treatment to generate sympathy from others, not to get well. If a doctor gave her pills or even a diagnosis, she would go back to them. But if they told her she was messed up and needed counseling, she blackened their name, hated them, and never returned. She doctor shopped so she could stay sick. Its' her choice to make. And she has flat out told me many times that she never loved me. And i " m kind of okay with it now. I'm NC and that really helps. Okay, I'll read the article now. > > > Admitting that you have a problem and need treatment requires > being able to understand that you have a problem. I don't think > they can do that. I think that most of them really believe that > there's nothing wrong with them. That's part of what BPD is. As > far as I can tell, my nada really and truly believes there is > nothing wrong with her and that other people have all sorts of > things wrong with them that explain why she has trouble getting > along with them. I don't think she's acting when she says these > things. She's too consistent. In general, they're very good at > believing things that aren't true because they just don't > experience the world in the same way we do and their brains seem > good at re-writing their experiences to fit their own version of > reality. Nada has repeatedly told me that the explanation for my > sister going NC must be that my sister is bipolar, which she is > certainly not. No matter how many times I explain the real > reasons to her, she can't seem to keep them in her head for > longer than a day or two. Her false version of events just > creeps right back in. > > As for not loving their children their children enough to > protect them from their own problems I think there are two > issues there. I don't believe they're capable of love in the way > the rest of us are. Real love requires caring at least as much > about someone else as you do about yourself. They just can't do > that. The whole concept just doesn't make sense to them. Their > level of emotional maturity is so retarded that they're like a > very young child who " loves " the people who provide her with the > things she needs. Combine that with not believing there's > anything wrong with them, and the idea that their children need > protecting from them is just not a concept they can understand. > > All that being said, I think the article goes too far in > removing blame from people with BPD. Yes, they're sick and no, > they didn't ask to be sick, but they still make their own > choices and some of those choices have terrible results for the > rest of us. I can't bring myself to believe that they're totally > blameless. Besides that, some of them are just plain nasty > people and would almost certainly be nasty with or without BPD. > BPD just makes it easier for them to act on that nastyness. > > > At 03:49 PM 08/22/2010 Hummingbird1298@... <Hummingbird1298%40aol.com>wrote: > >I found this article on BPD: > >http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > > >The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that > >people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > > >I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to > >ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > > > >If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had > >diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get > >help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she > >wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love > >her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > > > >It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > > -- > Katrina > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 I also think they don't love their children because they lack a core identity. And in my nada's case, she wanted to be mentally ill. She owned it and claimed it. When something came up that she didn't want to deal with, she would play the " mental illness card. " I can't meet that deadline because I'm mentally ill. I can't tell you how many times I heard her say that. And when I would confront her about her issues, she let me know very clearly that she loved her issues, she loved the way she had miswired her brain so that she didn't have to accept responsibility. She loved being sick. She knew she was sick, and sought treatment to generate sympathy from others, not to get well. If a doctor gave her pills or even a diagnosis, she would go back to them. But if they told her she was messed up and needed counseling, she blackened their name, hated them, and never returned. She doctor shopped so she could stay sick. Its' her choice to make. And she has flat out told me many times that she never loved me. And i " m kind of okay with it now. I'm NC and that really helps. Okay, I'll read the article now. > > > Admitting that you have a problem and need treatment requires > being able to understand that you have a problem. I don't think > they can do that. I think that most of them really believe that > there's nothing wrong with them. That's part of what BPD is. As > far as I can tell, my nada really and truly believes there is > nothing wrong with her and that other people have all sorts of > things wrong with them that explain why she has trouble getting > along with them. I don't think she's acting when she says these > things. She's too consistent. In general, they're very good at > believing things that aren't true because they just don't > experience the world in the same way we do and their brains seem > good at re-writing their experiences to fit their own version of > reality. Nada has repeatedly told me that the explanation for my > sister going NC must be that my sister is bipolar, which she is > certainly not. No matter how many times I explain the real > reasons to her, she can't seem to keep them in her head for > longer than a day or two. Her false version of events just > creeps right back in. > > As for not loving their children their children enough to > protect them from their own problems I think there are two > issues there. I don't believe they're capable of love in the way > the rest of us are. Real love requires caring at least as much > about someone else as you do about yourself. They just can't do > that. The whole concept just doesn't make sense to them. Their > level of emotional maturity is so retarded that they're like a > very young child who " loves " the people who provide her with the > things she needs. Combine that with not believing there's > anything wrong with them, and the idea that their children need > protecting from them is just not a concept they can understand. > > All that being said, I think the article goes too far in > removing blame from people with BPD. Yes, they're sick and no, > they didn't ask to be sick, but they still make their own > choices and some of those choices have terrible results for the > rest of us. I can't bring myself to believe that they're totally > blameless. Besides that, some of them are just plain nasty > people and would almost certainly be nasty with or without BPD. > BPD just makes it easier for them to act on that nastyness. > > > At 03:49 PM 08/22/2010 Hummingbird1298@... <Hummingbird1298%40aol.com>wrote: > >I found this article on BPD: > >http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > > >The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that > >people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > > >I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to > >ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > > > >If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had > >diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get > >help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she > >wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love > >her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > > > >It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > > -- > Katrina > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 yeah, I dont believe they wanted it either, but I do believe now that they have it, they know and do not care to change it because it gets them the attention they seek. Re: BPD...they don't want it? I understand your point, but I differ with you slightly. They did not seek thier disorder, or try to obtain it. But once developing it, they are highly resistant to admitting or changing any part of it. I don t think any of them desire to be as they are. As horrible as they are to us, I truly belive the suffer all the torments of the damned inside thier own lives. They are thier own punishement. Yet try as they might, most cannot let go and heal. We can, . That is what matters. WE CAN! May we all heal. Doug > > > > I found this article on BPD: http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > > If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > > It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 yeah, I dont believe they wanted it either, but I do believe now that they have it, they know and do not care to change it because it gets them the attention they seek. Re: BPD...they don't want it? I understand your point, but I differ with you slightly. They did not seek thier disorder, or try to obtain it. But once developing it, they are highly resistant to admitting or changing any part of it. I don t think any of them desire to be as they are. As horrible as they are to us, I truly belive the suffer all the torments of the damned inside thier own lives. They are thier own punishement. Yet try as they might, most cannot let go and heal. We can, . That is what matters. WE CAN! May we all heal. Doug > > > > I found this article on BPD: http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that people with BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to ADMIT they have the disorder is much more believable. > > If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had diabetes, I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get help. So why didn't my mother get help? Because a) she wouldn't admit she needed help and she obviously didn't love her children enough to protect them from her own problems. > > It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 I'd like to add to LB's point, each nada is different, some may want to change, however others don't, others think the world should adjust to them and try to force it to do so. I think alhtough there are similarities in all our experieces there are major differences, like when this group was first started to now where there are treatments for it now. more later proflaf Subject: Re: BPD...they don't want it? To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Monday, August 23, 2010, 11:24 AM  and Doug, I think as we go through our journey of loving a person with BPD we go through different phases for example maybe anger, peace, pain, or understanding, we feel differently about our loved one with BPD at different times. I think maybe you are able to understand each other but view this slightly different right now because you both may be walking the same path, but just not quite on the same spot of the journey. LB > > > > > > > > I found this article on BPD: > http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > > > The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that people with > BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > > > I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to ADMIT > they have the disorder is much more believable. > > > > If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had diabetes, > I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get help. So why didn't my > mother get help? Because a) she wouldn't admit she needed help and > she obviously didn't love her children enough to protect them from her > own problems. > > > > It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 I agree. Although there are remarkable similarities, borderline pd is not a narrowly-focused, one-symptom disease. Its not like diabetes, where your blood sugar can be measured and evaluated, and treated based on that one criteria. Bpd can present rather differently because there are nine separate criteria possible, and only 5 of the 9 must be present for a psychiatrist to diagnose the disorder. Add to that, some with bpd " act in " or harm themselves, while others " act out " or project their dysfunction onto other people and attack others instead of themselves. Another major factor is that some with bpd are very " high-functioning " , meaning that they can more easily control their abnormal thoughts, feelings and behaviors, can hold a job, maintain friendships can appear normal in public and only display their bpd behaviors in privacy, to a select few. Others with bpd are " low functioning " and have little if any control over their dysregulated emotions. These are the ones who have difficulty holding down a job and get into trouble with neighbors or the police, or who get committed for psychiatric evaluation for harming themselves or other people. The cherry on top is that its not uncommon for those with bpd to have additional psychiatric illnesses along with the bpd, such as other Cluster B personality disorders (narcissistic pd, histrionic pd, or antisocial pd) or mood disorders (such as depression or bi-polar disorder.) I believe my mother also has many narcissistic pd traits and some other Cluster B pd traits, and some obsessive-compulsive personality disorder traits on top of her bpd; a veritable alphabet soup of dysfunction. Yet she is very high-functioning and can come across as not only normal but charming and appealing when she wants to. Each of us has a unique situation with our own mother or father, or both. Or sibling(s). But every one of us is dealing with a relative or loved one with a profound and serious mental illness, so as we share our insights and experiences and opinions, we can help each other come to terms with our own situation, we can help each other find paths to our own healing, and we can help each other just... deal with the whole thing in a safe environment. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I found this article on BPD: > > > http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > > > > > > > The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that people with > > > BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > > > > > > > I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to ADMIT > > > they have the disorder is much more believable. > > > > > > > > If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had diabetes, > > > I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get help. So why didn't my > > > mother get help? Because a) she wouldn't admit she needed help and > > > she obviously didn't love her children enough to protect them from her > > > own problems. > > > > > > > > It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 I agree. Although there are remarkable similarities, borderline pd is not a narrowly-focused, one-symptom disease. Its not like diabetes, where your blood sugar can be measured and evaluated, and treated based on that one criteria. Bpd can present rather differently because there are nine separate criteria possible, and only 5 of the 9 must be present for a psychiatrist to diagnose the disorder. Add to that, some with bpd " act in " or harm themselves, while others " act out " or project their dysfunction onto other people and attack others instead of themselves. Another major factor is that some with bpd are very " high-functioning " , meaning that they can more easily control their abnormal thoughts, feelings and behaviors, can hold a job, maintain friendships can appear normal in public and only display their bpd behaviors in privacy, to a select few. Others with bpd are " low functioning " and have little if any control over their dysregulated emotions. These are the ones who have difficulty holding down a job and get into trouble with neighbors or the police, or who get committed for psychiatric evaluation for harming themselves or other people. The cherry on top is that its not uncommon for those with bpd to have additional psychiatric illnesses along with the bpd, such as other Cluster B personality disorders (narcissistic pd, histrionic pd, or antisocial pd) or mood disorders (such as depression or bi-polar disorder.) I believe my mother also has many narcissistic pd traits and some other Cluster B pd traits, and some obsessive-compulsive personality disorder traits on top of her bpd; a veritable alphabet soup of dysfunction. Yet she is very high-functioning and can come across as not only normal but charming and appealing when she wants to. Each of us has a unique situation with our own mother or father, or both. Or sibling(s). But every one of us is dealing with a relative or loved one with a profound and serious mental illness, so as we share our insights and experiences and opinions, we can help each other come to terms with our own situation, we can help each other find paths to our own healing, and we can help each other just... deal with the whole thing in a safe environment. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I found this article on BPD: > > > http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > > > > > > > The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that people with > > > BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > > > > > > > I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to ADMIT > > > they have the disorder is much more believable. > > > > > > > > If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had diabetes, > > > I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get help. So why didn't my > > > mother get help? Because a) she wouldn't admit she needed help and > > > she obviously didn't love her children enough to protect them from her > > > own problems. > > > > > > > > It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 I agree. Although there are remarkable similarities, borderline pd is not a narrowly-focused, one-symptom disease. Its not like diabetes, where your blood sugar can be measured and evaluated, and treated based on that one criteria. Bpd can present rather differently because there are nine separate criteria possible, and only 5 of the 9 must be present for a psychiatrist to diagnose the disorder. Add to that, some with bpd " act in " or harm themselves, while others " act out " or project their dysfunction onto other people and attack others instead of themselves. Another major factor is that some with bpd are very " high-functioning " , meaning that they can more easily control their abnormal thoughts, feelings and behaviors, can hold a job, maintain friendships can appear normal in public and only display their bpd behaviors in privacy, to a select few. Others with bpd are " low functioning " and have little if any control over their dysregulated emotions. These are the ones who have difficulty holding down a job and get into trouble with neighbors or the police, or who get committed for psychiatric evaluation for harming themselves or other people. The cherry on top is that its not uncommon for those with bpd to have additional psychiatric illnesses along with the bpd, such as other Cluster B personality disorders (narcissistic pd, histrionic pd, or antisocial pd) or mood disorders (such as depression or bi-polar disorder.) I believe my mother also has many narcissistic pd traits and some other Cluster B pd traits, and some obsessive-compulsive personality disorder traits on top of her bpd; a veritable alphabet soup of dysfunction. Yet she is very high-functioning and can come across as not only normal but charming and appealing when she wants to. Each of us has a unique situation with our own mother or father, or both. Or sibling(s). But every one of us is dealing with a relative or loved one with a profound and serious mental illness, so as we share our insights and experiences and opinions, we can help each other come to terms with our own situation, we can help each other find paths to our own healing, and we can help each other just... deal with the whole thing in a safe environment. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I found this article on BPD: > > > http://www.biologicalunhappiness.com/office/htm/bpd.htm > > > > > > > > The writer has some valid points, but goes on to say that people with > > > BPD don't " want " their disorder. > > > > > > > > I have a hard time with this. People with BPD don't want to ADMIT > > > they have the disorder is much more believable. > > > > > > > > If I was diagnosed with cancer, I'd have treatment. If I had diabetes, > > > I'd go to the doctor. If I had BPD, I'd get help. So why didn't my > > > mother get help? Because a) she wouldn't admit she needed help and > > > she obviously didn't love her children enough to protect them from her > > > own problems. > > > > > > > > It's that last one that really bothers me most. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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