Re: Thanks...and letting go questions

[Guest guest]

Dear Annie,

I understand your realization that your mother actually dispises you. My mother

has hated me all my life. I don't know why - perhaps because I was named after

her father. Also I am the designated bad/evil child. When she's not raging,

blaming, and lying she plays the role of the loving mother, but it's all fake.

It's just pretend. When her hostility is not overt, it is covert.

I am so glad that I found this online support group. Most people cannot

comprehend how a mother could hate her child and they do not believe me.

> >

> > Hi,

> > Thanks for all the supportive emails in reply to my post the other

day,(re:does my dad have BP)it's good to know there are people out there.

> > Also wondering, does everyone experience the GRIEF of realizing that one has

no chice but to go NC? When you've tried everything to make things get better in

the relationship and then you realize after how many years that nothing has

really changed and you have to walk away after all.

> > In one way it feels a huge relief to realize that I will be able to live my

own life and let go all that fear and and mental fog, but actually stepping back

and looking at my life objectively for once makes me realize that I've missed so

much over the years from trying to cope. Myself, family members and general

feelings of hope and freedom.

> > Also because one of my fada's biggest problems is suicide threats it is

pretty scary to let that go and realize that I may never have the chance to

communicate with him again. One of the reasons I tried so long is that I think I

do love him one one level or did once. But one can't hold on to someone like

that because in the end they just drag you down.

> > It also feels pretty strange to walk away from all that, I don't know what

life is like without it!

> >

> >

> >

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