Another hospital trip-what a dummy!

[Guest guest]

I'm so upset and frustrated with myself. I've gone to the hospital

so many times since 2008...and have cost us so much money because of

it...and never ever ever ever ever once, have they found anything

wrong with me. I used to complain about the pain being in my pelvic

area, then that went away and instead I began to complain it was in

my abdominal area, then that went away, and now I complain it is in

my chest-and whatever is going on in my chest makes me feel sick to

my stomach. Yet my tests come back very very good...on everything.

Today the rheumatologist said I don't even have fibro or chronic

fatigue. I am unable to work because I feel so weak, tired, and

lightheaded so dang often. I find it very hard to think straight

too; concentration is just a joke. I am completely unproductive in

life and this is just ridiculous. I just feel so angry with myself.

I know I need to get the implants out but can't say I even feel too

excited about doing that...or how I am ever going to possibly be able

to. I don't have any money and I don't think you can get a loan if

you don't have a job. I don't have credit because I don't have a

job, don't have any income, and therefore don't have a way to pay my

bills. What a ridiculous picture. I don't feel well enough to be

calling around or driving around trying to find the right doctor for

explant. My 3 kids have grown up with a couchmom...if you need me-

I'm on the couch...and they've listened to my family, neighbors,

school personnel, etc., criticize their lazy mom ... I don't even

know that the implants are a legitimate excuse. I just know I've

layed around for almost 9 years now. I look in the mirror and don't

even recognize the person looking back...I've come so far away from

who I once was. What a waste of such a wonderful gift called " life. "

Anne