Re: oof. need some support guys :(

[Guest guest]

Hi, Jenna.

I know from experience that it takes hard work to wrestle bad-body feelings to the ground. Mine can also get triggered easily, but you have to actually work, aggressively and intentionally, to talk back to them. I figure skate - a world where everyone but me is skinny. I had a day last week when I went in and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it triggered simply awful body shame, so much so that it interfered with my ability to focus on skating. I struggled hard with pointing out to myself things like: You felt okay about yourself two days ago and you can't have gained anything appreciable in two days, so this bad feeling is not really related to what you weigh; you can do one killer sit spin even carrying many extra pounds; no one really cares what you weigh, they care how you related to THEM; you are capable of bringing your focus back to practicing your skating. It took about a half hour to get back to a place of feeling good about myself again and it took hard work to get there. It seems that each time I do it, it gets a little easier. Hope this is of some help to you. Good luck!

Hello Everyone, I am so upset right now. I got really triggered by something someone said and when stuff like this happens it is so hard to not go right back into dieting mentality.For several years I was a size 12... partially due to living overseas, partially to not eating, partially to smoking almost a pack a day, Then I returned to the US and got a desk job and while I did diet it was a constant and eternal fight to remain at a 12. So about two years ago quitting smoking was the "last nail in the coffin" that and getting away from a very abusive relationship....as it were and my weight went back to about a size 12, last year I got tired of fighting my body and let myself go back to where it usually is, a size 14.. and Ive been working really really hard to accept myself.This morning a cleaning lady who I have not seen in probably 3 years or so came in and grabbed my arms saying, "Wow girl you got really really thick! You have been eating a lot, haven't you? You used to be thin!"And I did not really respond she is just this little old lady but it triggered in me all the old stuff, the shame, feeling like an utter loser cause I cant keep thin, mostly shame though, and feeling like, wow have I gotten "that" bad? I need to diet. ASAP. I really need some encouragement right now bccause I am fighting major tears here at my desk at work. :(Jenna

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[Guest guest]

Jenna,

Sometimes people say some really sucky things. Sometimes they don't mean it

like it comes out, sometimes they do.

Be really kind to yourself right now. Treat yourself. Do something nice for

yourself, and make a point of saying really nice things to yourself. This sting

will fade. Remind yourself that it takes much more self-love and strength to

turn your back on dieting than it does to go hungry. It really does. Be proud

of yourself for having the strength to face down your own fears and other

people's insensitivities, and for being able to come out still a non-dieter,

still a self-lover.

I remember when I was skinny and constantly going hungry, I used to look at

bigger, confident ladies, and I instantly knew that they liked themselves more

than I did. I knew that I would continuously starve myself rather than just be

my natural self, and I envied and admired them for letting themselves be big.

I can tell you that after time and continued effort at self-acceptance, which is

a long journey for me, things other people say don't really bother you nearly as

much. The more secure you become in yourself, the more it doesn't matter what

other people think or say. I have noticed recently how easy it is now for me to

talk about my fat. I no longer feel that it's a negative most of the time. I

had someone make a comment on my big butt recently, and it absolutely didn't

bother me at all. I do have a big butt, and I rather like my bit butt most of

the time.

Believe it or not, you can with continued effort get to a place where someone

making a comment like that, whether their intention was compliment or put down

won't matter. You'll reach a level where you just feel nice about yourself.

You'll be so comfortable with the fact that you're bigger than you used to be,

that someone verbally commenting on it, will just truly be, 'so what?' You

might think in your mind, 'yeah, I'm so much more curvy, and vivacious, and

substantial, etc.'

So weather this moment with self-indulgence and kindness. It will pass, and

commit yourself to the journey of true self-love and acceptance. There's a big

payoff around the corner.

Sara

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I am so upset right now. I got really triggered by something someone said and

> when stuff like this happens it is so hard to not go right back into dieting

> mentality.

>

> For several years I was a size 12... partially due to living overseas,

partially

> to not eating, partially to smoking almost a pack a day, Then I returned to

the

> US and got a desk job and while I did diet it was a constant and eternal fight

> to remain at a 12. So about two years ago quitting smoking was the " last nail

in

> the coffin " that and getting away from a very abusive relationship....as it

were

> and my weight went back to about a size 12, last year I got tired of fighting

my

> body and let myself go back to where it usually is, a size 14.. and Ive been

> working really really hard to accept myself.

>

> This morning a cleaning lady who I have not seen in probably 3 years or so

came

> in and grabbed my arms saying, " Wow girl you got really really thick! You have

> been eating a lot, haven't you? You used to be thin! "

>

> And I did not really respond she is just this little old lady but it triggered

> in me all the old stuff, the shame, feeling like an utter loser cause I cant

> keep thin, mostly shame though, and feeling like, wow have I gotten " that "

bad?

> I need to diet. ASAP.

>

>

> I really need some encouragement right now bccause I am fighting major tears

> here at my desk at work.

>

> Jenna

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> It's here! Your new message!

> Get new email alerts with the free Yahoo! Toolbar.

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[Guest guest]

Jenna,

Sometimes people say some really sucky things. Sometimes they don't mean it

like it comes out, sometimes they do.

Be really kind to yourself right now. Treat yourself. Do something nice for

yourself, and make a point of saying really nice things to yourself. This sting

will fade. Remind yourself that it takes much more self-love and strength to

turn your back on dieting than it does to go hungry. It really does. Be proud

of yourself for having the strength to face down your own fears and other

people's insensitivities, and for being able to come out still a non-dieter,

still a self-lover.

I remember when I was skinny and constantly going hungry, I used to look at

bigger, confident ladies, and I instantly knew that they liked themselves more

than I did. I knew that I would continuously starve myself rather than just be

my natural self, and I envied and admired them for letting themselves be big.

I can tell you that after time and continued effort at self-acceptance, which is

a long journey for me, things other people say don't really bother you nearly as

much. The more secure you become in yourself, the more it doesn't matter what

other people think or say. I have noticed recently how easy it is now for me to

talk about my fat. I no longer feel that it's a negative most of the time. I

had someone make a comment on my big butt recently, and it absolutely didn't

bother me at all. I do have a big butt, and I rather like my bit butt most of

the time.

Believe it or not, you can with continued effort get to a place where someone

making a comment like that, whether their intention was compliment or put down

won't matter. You'll reach a level where you just feel nice about yourself.

You'll be so comfortable with the fact that you're bigger than you used to be,

that someone verbally commenting on it, will just truly be, 'so what?' You

might think in your mind, 'yeah, I'm so much more curvy, and vivacious, and

substantial, etc.'

So weather this moment with self-indulgence and kindness. It will pass, and

commit yourself to the journey of true self-love and acceptance. There's a big

payoff around the corner.

Sara

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I am so upset right now. I got really triggered by something someone said and

> when stuff like this happens it is so hard to not go right back into dieting

> mentality.

>

> For several years I was a size 12... partially due to living overseas,

partially

> to not eating, partially to smoking almost a pack a day, Then I returned to

the

> US and got a desk job and while I did diet it was a constant and eternal fight

> to remain at a 12. So about two years ago quitting smoking was the " last nail

in

> the coffin " that and getting away from a very abusive relationship....as it

were

> and my weight went back to about a size 12, last year I got tired of fighting

my

> body and let myself go back to where it usually is, a size 14.. and Ive been

> working really really hard to accept myself.

>

> This morning a cleaning lady who I have not seen in probably 3 years or so

came

> in and grabbed my arms saying, " Wow girl you got really really thick! You have

> been eating a lot, haven't you? You used to be thin! "

>

> And I did not really respond she is just this little old lady but it triggered

> in me all the old stuff, the shame, feeling like an utter loser cause I cant

> keep thin, mostly shame though, and feeling like, wow have I gotten " that "

bad?

> I need to diet. ASAP.

>

>

> I really need some encouragement right now bccause I am fighting major tears

> here at my desk at work.

>

> Jenna

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> It's here! Your new message!

> Get new email alerts with the free Yahoo! Toolbar.

> http://tools.search.yahoo.com/toolbar/features/mail/

>

[Guest guest]

Jenna,

Sometimes people say some really sucky things. Sometimes they don't mean it

like it comes out, sometimes they do.

Be really kind to yourself right now. Treat yourself. Do something nice for

yourself, and make a point of saying really nice things to yourself. This sting

will fade. Remind yourself that it takes much more self-love and strength to

turn your back on dieting than it does to go hungry. It really does. Be proud

of yourself for having the strength to face down your own fears and other

people's insensitivities, and for being able to come out still a non-dieter,

still a self-lover.

I remember when I was skinny and constantly going hungry, I used to look at

bigger, confident ladies, and I instantly knew that they liked themselves more

than I did. I knew that I would continuously starve myself rather than just be

my natural self, and I envied and admired them for letting themselves be big.

I can tell you that after time and continued effort at self-acceptance, which is

a long journey for me, things other people say don't really bother you nearly as

much. The more secure you become in yourself, the more it doesn't matter what

other people think or say. I have noticed recently how easy it is now for me to

talk about my fat. I no longer feel that it's a negative most of the time. I

had someone make a comment on my big butt recently, and it absolutely didn't

bother me at all. I do have a big butt, and I rather like my bit butt most of

the time.

Believe it or not, you can with continued effort get to a place where someone

making a comment like that, whether their intention was compliment or put down

won't matter. You'll reach a level where you just feel nice about yourself.

You'll be so comfortable with the fact that you're bigger than you used to be,

that someone verbally commenting on it, will just truly be, 'so what?' You

might think in your mind, 'yeah, I'm so much more curvy, and vivacious, and

substantial, etc.'

So weather this moment with self-indulgence and kindness. It will pass, and

commit yourself to the journey of true self-love and acceptance. There's a big

payoff around the corner.

Sara

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I am so upset right now. I got really triggered by something someone said and

> when stuff like this happens it is so hard to not go right back into dieting

> mentality.

>

> For several years I was a size 12... partially due to living overseas,

partially

> to not eating, partially to smoking almost a pack a day, Then I returned to

the

> US and got a desk job and while I did diet it was a constant and eternal fight

> to remain at a 12. So about two years ago quitting smoking was the " last nail

in

> the coffin " that and getting away from a very abusive relationship....as it

were

> and my weight went back to about a size 12, last year I got tired of fighting

my

> body and let myself go back to where it usually is, a size 14.. and Ive been

> working really really hard to accept myself.

>

> This morning a cleaning lady who I have not seen in probably 3 years or so

came

> in and grabbed my arms saying, " Wow girl you got really really thick! You have

> been eating a lot, haven't you? You used to be thin! "

>

> And I did not really respond she is just this little old lady but it triggered

> in me all the old stuff, the shame, feeling like an utter loser cause I cant

> keep thin, mostly shame though, and feeling like, wow have I gotten " that "

bad?

> I need to diet. ASAP.

>

>

> I really need some encouragement right now bccause I am fighting major tears

> here at my desk at work.

>

> Jenna

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> It's here! Your new message!

> Get new email alerts with the free Yahoo! Toolbar.

> http://tools.search.yahoo.com/toolbar/features/mail/

>