Re: On emotional eating: WOW!

[Guest guest]

Hi, M.

Well, this huge realization you had sparked one for me! It's pretty wonderful how we help each other with this discussion .

I, too, was convinced that there was no reason at all that I actually wanted to stay fat - no purpose whatsoever that my fat was serving for me. Being thin is something I've wanted so, so badly. But I realized that I keep saying "When I drop some pounds I'll go back to performing publicly." The reality is that I work a good 60 hours a week, figure skate four mornings a week, study with two different music teachers, not to mention tending to family and friends. I drive myself unbelievably hard and if I have a few minutes to rest I fill it with more things to do. If I ever really found myself with free time I'd probably write another book or start studying another language or something. When I put on some pounds this past fall I started feeling like I don't want to go out anymore and play my music in local clubs because I feel too FAT. (it was two or three nights a week - even though I get up at 5:30 to figure skate!) But I also realize that I feel TREMENDOUS RELIEF at allowing my fat to let me off the hook! This is BIG for me. I need to stay fat because if I got thin I'd expect myself to run for president. Somehow I have to learn to tolerate resting and give myself permission to have down time without having to be fat to do it.

Thank you for sparking this enormous revelation!

April

Hi all,Hope things are well. I had a HUGE realization this week! I've been working with "Shrink yourself" book a lot because I think emotional eating is really a big issue for me. I've made a lot of progress but as I was reading this week, there is a section where the author asks us to think about the reasons why we want to stay overweight. Every fiber of my being was fighting against this notion... For God's sake, I've been trying to lose weight for as long as I can remember and why would I want to purposefully put myself through this? But I kept reading and all I can say is it finally hit me and I realized a major reason why I WANT to stay overweight! Growing up my brother used to tell me: "no man is ever going to love you if you are fat!" (and at the time, I was maybe 15 lbs overweight, now a 100). It was his way of "motivating" me into action (if you can believe that!), but the worst part is that I think a part of me always believed him. I somehow wanted to rebel and be like: I'll show you... I'll find someone to love me even when I'm fat because there is more to me than this. At the same time, I've been in a loving relationship for two years now and since we started dating, I've gained 30 pounds! In fact, the periods that I go on the biggest binges is right before I am going to see my boyfriend. When I was reading the book, I realized that I was doing this and part of me is trying to test if my boyfriend really loves me. Based on what my brother would say, if he can love me when I'm fat, then it means he really truly loves me?! Right? WRONG! I can't believe that I've been doing this to myself all along without realizing it. I can't believe that I've been abusing myself to test his love for me, instead of seeing how truly he loves me by all the things he does.I think this has been a big breakthrough for me and it hit me like a truck when I was reading the book yesterday. In fact, I realized that this isn't the only reason. I also find it comforting hiding behind my body and avoiding unwanted attention. But none of these things are rational. I am a mature, independent, strong, and intelligent adult. I can take care of myself, and love myself and don't need validation, love or protection from anyone else besides myself and God. It feels so good to say that! I need to think about myself and my needs and the most pressing things is that I need to take care of my health for all the right reasons: for myself and my future.But all I can say is: WOW!M.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi, M.

Well, this huge realization you had sparked one for me! It's pretty wonderful how we help each other with this discussion .

I, too, was convinced that there was no reason at all that I actually wanted to stay fat - no purpose whatsoever that my fat was serving for me. Being thin is something I've wanted so, so badly. But I realized that I keep saying "When I drop some pounds I'll go back to performing publicly." The reality is that I work a good 60 hours a week, figure skate four mornings a week, study with two different music teachers, not to mention tending to family and friends. I drive myself unbelievably hard and if I have a few minutes to rest I fill it with more things to do. If I ever really found myself with free time I'd probably write another book or start studying another language or something. When I put on some pounds this past fall I started feeling like I don't want to go out anymore and play my music in local clubs because I feel too FAT. (it was two or three nights a week - even though I get up at 5:30 to figure skate!) But I also realize that I feel TREMENDOUS RELIEF at allowing my fat to let me off the hook! This is BIG for me. I need to stay fat because if I got thin I'd expect myself to run for president. Somehow I have to learn to tolerate resting and give myself permission to have down time without having to be fat to do it.

Thank you for sparking this enormous revelation!

April

Hi all,Hope things are well. I had a HUGE realization this week! I've been working with "Shrink yourself" book a lot because I think emotional eating is really a big issue for me. I've made a lot of progress but as I was reading this week, there is a section where the author asks us to think about the reasons why we want to stay overweight. Every fiber of my being was fighting against this notion... For God's sake, I've been trying to lose weight for as long as I can remember and why would I want to purposefully put myself through this? But I kept reading and all I can say is it finally hit me and I realized a major reason why I WANT to stay overweight! Growing up my brother used to tell me: "no man is ever going to love you if you are fat!" (and at the time, I was maybe 15 lbs overweight, now a 100). It was his way of "motivating" me into action (if you can believe that!), but the worst part is that I think a part of me always believed him. I somehow wanted to rebel and be like: I'll show you... I'll find someone to love me even when I'm fat because there is more to me than this. At the same time, I've been in a loving relationship for two years now and since we started dating, I've gained 30 pounds! In fact, the periods that I go on the biggest binges is right before I am going to see my boyfriend. When I was reading the book, I realized that I was doing this and part of me is trying to test if my boyfriend really loves me. Based on what my brother would say, if he can love me when I'm fat, then it means he really truly loves me?! Right? WRONG! I can't believe that I've been doing this to myself all along without realizing it. I can't believe that I've been abusing myself to test his love for me, instead of seeing how truly he loves me by all the things he does.I think this has been a big breakthrough for me and it hit me like a truck when I was reading the book yesterday. In fact, I realized that this isn't the only reason. I also find it comforting hiding behind my body and avoiding unwanted attention. But none of these things are rational. I am a mature, independent, strong, and intelligent adult. I can take care of myself, and love myself and don't need validation, love or protection from anyone else besides myself and God. It feels so good to say that! I need to think about myself and my needs and the most pressing things is that I need to take care of my health for all the right reasons: for myself and my future.But all I can say is: WOW!M.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi April,

So glad that this was helpful! It is still blowing my mind, but everything

makes so much sense now!

M.

>

> Hi, M.

> Well, this huge realization you had sparked one for me! It's pretty

> wonderful how we help each other with this discussion .

> I, too, was convinced that there was no reason at all that I actually

> wanted to stay fat - no purpose whatsoever that my fat was serving for me.

> Being thin is something I've wanted so, so badly. But I realized that I keep

> saying " When I drop some pounds I'll go back to performing publicly. " The

> reality is that I work a good 60 hours a week, figure skate four mornings a

> week, study with two different music teachers, not to mention tending to

> family and friends. I drive myself unbelievably hard and if I have a few

> minutes to rest I fill it with more things to do. If I ever really found

> myself with free time I'd probably write another book or start studying

another

> language or something. When I put on some pounds this past fall I started

> feeling like I don't want to go out anymore and play my music in local

> clubs because I feel too FAT. (it was two or three nights a week - even

though

> I get up at 5:30 to figure skate!) But I also realize that I feel

> TREMENDOUS RELIEF at allowing my fat to let me off the hook! This is BIG for

me. I

> need to stay fat because if I got thin I'd expect myself to run for

> president. Somehow I have to learn to tolerate resting and give myself

permission

> to have down time without having to be fat to do it.

> Thank you for sparking this enormous revelation!

> April

>

>

> In a message dated 1/22/2011 4:58:05 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> ammi_mali@... writes:

>

> Hi all,

> Hope things are well. I had a HUGE realization this week! I've been

> working with " Shrink yourself " book a lot because I think emotional eating is

> really a big issue for me. I've made a lot of progress but as I was reading

> this week, there is a section where the author asks us to think about the

> reasons why we want to stay overweight. Every fiber of my being was

> fighting against this notion... For God's sake, I've been trying to lose

weight

> for as long as I can remember and why would I want to purposefully put

> myself through this?

> But I kept reading and all I can say is it finally hit me and I realized a

> major reason why I WANT to stay overweight!

> Growing up my brother used to tell me: " no man is ever going to love you

> if you are fat! " (and at the time, I was maybe 15 lbs overweight, now a

> 100). It was his way of " motivating " me into action (if you can believe

> that!), but the worst part is that I think a part of me always believed him.

> I somehow wanted to rebel and be like: I'll show you... I'll find someone

> to love me even when I'm fat because there is more to me than this. At the

> same time, I've been in a loving relationship for two years now and since

> we started dating, I've gained 30 pounds! In fact, the periods that I go

> on the biggest binges is right before I am going to see my boyfriend. When

> I was reading the book, I realized that I was doing this and part of me is

> trying to test if my boyfriend really loves me. Based on what my brother

> would say, if he can love me when I'm fat, then it means he really truly

> loves me?! Right? WRONG!

> I can't believe that I've been doing this to myself all along without

> realizing it. I can't believe that I've been abusing myself to test his love

> for me, instead of seeing how truly he loves me by all the things he does.

> I think this has been a big breakthrough for me and it hit me like a truck

> when I was reading the book yesterday.

> In fact, I realized that this isn't the only reason. I also find it

> comforting hiding behind my body and avoiding unwanted attention. But none

of

> these things are rational. I am a mature, independent, strong, and

> intelligent adult. I can take care of myself, and love myself and don't need

> validation, love or protection from anyone else besides myself and God. It

> feels so good to say that! I need to think about myself and my needs and the

> most pressing things is that I need to take care of my health for all the

> right reasons: for myself and my future.

> But all I can say is: WOW!

> M.

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

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