Re: On emotional eating: WOW!

[Guest guest]

Hi April,

So glad that this was helpful! It is still blowing my mind, but everything

makes so much sense now!

M.

>

> Hi, M.

> Well, this huge realization you had sparked one for me! It's pretty

> wonderful how we help each other with this discussion .

> I, too, was convinced that there was no reason at all that I actually

> wanted to stay fat - no purpose whatsoever that my fat was serving for me.

> Being thin is something I've wanted so, so badly. But I realized that I keep

> saying " When I drop some pounds I'll go back to performing publicly. " The

> reality is that I work a good 60 hours a week, figure skate four mornings a

> week, study with two different music teachers, not to mention tending to

> family and friends. I drive myself unbelievably hard and if I have a few

> minutes to rest I fill it with more things to do. If I ever really found

> myself with free time I'd probably write another book or start studying

another

> language or something. When I put on some pounds this past fall I started

> feeling like I don't want to go out anymore and play my music in local

> clubs because I feel too FAT. (it was two or three nights a week - even

though

> I get up at 5:30 to figure skate!) But I also realize that I feel

> TREMENDOUS RELIEF at allowing my fat to let me off the hook! This is BIG for

me. I

> need to stay fat because if I got thin I'd expect myself to run for

> president. Somehow I have to learn to tolerate resting and give myself

permission

> to have down time without having to be fat to do it.

> Thank you for sparking this enormous revelation!

> April

>

>

> In a message dated 1/22/2011 4:58:05 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> ammi_mali@... writes:

>

> Hi all,

> Hope things are well. I had a HUGE realization this week! I've been

> working with " Shrink yourself " book a lot because I think emotional eating is

> really a big issue for me. I've made a lot of progress but as I was reading

> this week, there is a section where the author asks us to think about the

> reasons why we want to stay overweight. Every fiber of my being was

> fighting against this notion... For God's sake, I've been trying to lose

weight

> for as long as I can remember and why would I want to purposefully put

> myself through this?

> But I kept reading and all I can say is it finally hit me and I realized a

> major reason why I WANT to stay overweight!

> Growing up my brother used to tell me: " no man is ever going to love you

> if you are fat! " (and at the time, I was maybe 15 lbs overweight, now a

> 100). It was his way of " motivating " me into action (if you can believe

> that!), but the worst part is that I think a part of me always believed him.

> I somehow wanted to rebel and be like: I'll show you... I'll find someone

> to love me even when I'm fat because there is more to me than this. At the

> same time, I've been in a loving relationship for two years now and since

> we started dating, I've gained 30 pounds! In fact, the periods that I go

> on the biggest binges is right before I am going to see my boyfriend. When

> I was reading the book, I realized that I was doing this and part of me is

> trying to test if my boyfriend really loves me. Based on what my brother

> would say, if he can love me when I'm fat, then it means he really truly

> loves me?! Right? WRONG!

> I can't believe that I've been doing this to myself all along without

> realizing it. I can't believe that I've been abusing myself to test his love

> for me, instead of seeing how truly he loves me by all the things he does.

> I think this has been a big breakthrough for me and it hit me like a truck

> when I was reading the book yesterday.

> In fact, I realized that this isn't the only reason. I also find it

> comforting hiding behind my body and avoiding unwanted attention. But none

of

> these things are rational. I am a mature, independent, strong, and

> intelligent adult. I can take care of myself, and love myself and don't need

> validation, love or protection from anyone else besides myself and God. It

> feels so good to say that! I need to think about myself and my needs and the

> most pressing things is that I need to take care of my health for all the

> right reasons: for myself and my future.

> But all I can say is: WOW!

> M.

>

>

>

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